I’ve been doing long distance with this woman for almost two years. We see each other once every 3 weeks. At first, we used to fuck like jack rabbits every time we’d see eachother. We’d have sex like 4 times a day (even on her period).
Within the last few months she’s been loosing interest. She wants to cuddle but refuses sex 80% of the time. It cost me $80 dollars in gas to drive and see her.
I asked her what’s going on with her, and if she’s having any concerns about our relationship. She says everything is good and I’m the best thing that ever happened to her.
Even worse I recently found out she has a history of sleeping with many blacks guys. Now I’m even kinda turned off.
I’m starting to feel like it’s not worth it and it’s time to let her go.
I’m also really bad with how I talk to and approach women. Any tips and advice?
Long distance relationship seldom works out period. But even regular relationship fail more than 50% of the time. Be long distance or now, that is usally how it works out with most relationships. I mean I was married for 24 years, the first 5 years, I was getting sex at least 4 to 5 time a week, 10 to 15 years maybe once a week, 15 to 20, maybe 1 once a month. 20 to 24... like less than monthly at best.
So naturally sex does slow down, but yes it does seem that my ex-wife lost a lot of sexual interest in me once she cheated on me. Which I did not know until years later. It does not sound like the two of you have been dating that longer for it to have declined that much that fast.
Something is definitely not right about it. Usually when women know they are guilty of something, they will say everything is fine no problems... it only a problem to them when they know you are wrong.
How it usually works, is the sex drops off, you start to get concerned, and then she will find some completely unrelated reason as to why it's your fault somehow as to why the relationship did not work out.
Personally I think long distance relationships are a waste of time. They lack the substance and daily moments that often form the foundational parts in a relationship. It’s not about having a date with somebody every three weeks - it’s about blending a life with somebody. Now, having said that, if a foundation exists and someone moves temporarily to attend school, take a short term job assignment, maybe deployed in the military then I can see why you may try to hold onto it - but absent that foundation it feels pointless to me. I know my perspective is out of tune with society as a whole but I don’t but much stock in them.
As for being with black guys, that’s your business and I can see where a promiscuous sexual history could be concerning to some men, but I think you need to focus on the act and not the race of the involved men, honestly.
If you have trouble with women, get a life coach and see him regularly and get assignments to teach you how to live your life and to approach women better and easier.
Long distance is exhausting. At first everything was new and it seemed worth the trip. But now practicality has set in: All the time and money it takes is wearing.
There are many counselors who are also life coaches. Ask your primary care physician who does such work. Or in the meantime, talk to a psychologist. There are many ways to get a coach.
Ease out of what seems like a waning relationship. This might be fine for her, but it isn't for you. That means you need to end it. Good luck.
For me there is a part nobody will believe so that part ill just skip. The tangible part that people will believe is really good sexting and webcam sex. My own style is very much instructing your partner how to masturbate and then turning that into a big tease where their orgasm is truly in your control. That kink translates very well to sexting so works perfectly in a long distance relationship in my case.
Obviously you can't replace the real physical act though, for that you just need enough times you can meet.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
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Time for you to get better with how you talk to and approach women. You 110% NEED to practice this and get better at it. Your quality of life depends on it. It'll help you with your career too. Just fucking DO it!
Not saying your experience is the same, but I did distance for awhile with a girlfriend after we graduated and went off to college. Our reunions were similarly explosive until they weren't. I wondered what was going on, she said it was nothing. Turns out she was already dating someone else. So yeah--you have to watch out for big changes in sex drive.
At any rate, REGARDLESS of the situation you absolutely, positively must get comfortable approaching women.
Her sex drive changing does not automatically mean she stopped caring, but if your needs are not being met and the relationship feels one sided, it is fair to question it. Don’t let her past with other men become the main issue because that will just build resentment and insecurity. Be direct, calm, and honest with women about what you want instead of guessing, and if the connection no longer feels good for both of you, it is okay to walk away.
No idea , 💡 I could only guess I should always not go too hard too tast too soon or I'll burn out a girlfriend in no time at all. So there's always those learnings and maybe that's how the next couples go the distance longer by slowing it out everything it all out slower
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I started to feel bad for you until you mentioned about her sleeping with black men. You know what? Just let her go. Just fucking let her go.
If she says everything is good and you're the best thing that ever happened to her, then what's the problem?
So you found out she has a history of sleeping with many blacks guys. Who cares if they were black? You should be focusing on the word "many" and ask why and is she still doing that?
Does she love you and only you now? If yes, then what's your problem?
This was never worth it. Guys need to stop placing pleasure on a pedestal because that's the only reason why you were wasting $80 a time on travel. I would have invested that money instead...
Find a girl you can go see in 20 minutes. Nevermind that long distance crap. She's probably banging some other dude on the side or has a boyfriend close by.
@sheikalana The former girlfriend and I were in a LDR. We would play over the phone and it was cool, but that can only go on for so long. It was more satisfying in person although the phone sex was fun.
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