Do guys get frustrated if their girlfriend doesn't want to have sex early on in the relationship?

[Horse-girl]

I'm not saying I don't want to but I'm not sure how soon I'll be comfortable enough to do it. Will that make him feel frustrated and unhappy?

P. s He hasn't said anything about it and he knows I'm quite shy about more intimate activities.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I prefer it but not once we start dating. Once we start dating, I do like to escalate things rather rapidly, from holding hands to hugs to dancing to kissing and more. It starts to seem superficially constrained if we start trying to slow things down deliberately on dates.

At the same time, I liked to take things slow. Paradox.

So my way of slowing things down was to stop dating women right away. If I liked a woman, I'd invite her to hang out with me and my friends and invite her to bring her friends too. We all become friends and hang out regularly.

Then if we become good friends and get to know each other well and the attraction is clearly mutual, then go on a date as the second step.

That's how I did things with my wife now of 14 years. We were close friends for almost an entire year before dating, hanging out 1-2 times each week together with our mutual friends including going camping together, a vacation in Taiwan, barbecues, home parties, etc.

Then finally I asked her out on a date. After that, we ended up sleeping together on our first date (I kind of escalated things jamming an emergency stop button on an elevator and kissing her). Yet that wasn't soon or rushed since we were so close and spent so much time together before we even went on that first date.

[Horse-girl]

I see, I have kind of done the same with my boyfriend but I'm sort of nervous about having sex so soon.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I think it's never a bad idea to err on taking things slower. I needed a brute force solution just because of my natural tendencies once we dating alone.

My tendency is to connect the emotional with the physical once on dates. So if I was connecting very deeply and emotionally with a woman, it would be my tendency to reflect that in the way I touched her -- always gently and with care to see her reciprocate and never draw away or look the slightest bit uncomfortable -- a series of baby-steps, if you will. But baby-steps can traverse a mountain in a rather quick time if there is no resistance and tumbling down the mountain.

However, there was one time I dated a woman and we ended up kissing on the first date, and she kissed me back (I always made sure I wasn't forcing a kiss on her), and we made out for almost 15 mins and my hands started exploring.

Then she stopped me and said she felt like we were moving too fast. Totally respect that and totally my fault escalating and escalating. And I was completely fine to continue dating her, being a complete gentleman.

However, at that point, I had no idea when I should make any moves beyond the most platonic holding of hands, e. g. So I ended up transferring the ball in her court to make all the sexual moves. She did over a month later when she finally initiated a kiss with me.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

* I needed a brute force solution [by this, I mean just avoiding dating in the first place until we got to know each other really well as my means to generally slow things down].

[Horse-girl]

Well I think he'll probably be the main one initiating stuff to begin with. I need to get very comfortable to work up the courage to initiate even if it's something I'd like.

[BCRanger10]

I had firmly committed to wait until marriage when I was younger (I recommend others do too). It wouldn't have been an issue at all for me, but then again I can only speak for myself.

[Horse-girl]

I have thought of that, I personally like the idea of it but then I don't want to disappoint him if he wants it before that.

[BCRanger10]

Better to disappoint and filter out the wrong man though.

[Horse-girl]

That's true, I hadn't thought of that.

[BCRanger10]

Thank you for MHO 🙌

[Horse-girl]

You're welcome 😊

[Pinay_ako]

Yes. My second ex cheated on me for this very reason

[Horse-girl]

Oh I'm so sorry, I hope you find someone better 😊

[Pinay_ako]

I did

[Horse-girl]

That's brilliant news!

[OlderAndWiser]

I've waited five to six months for a lady to be ready and was glad that I waited.

[handsomelad70]

So I take it you're religious.

[OlderAndWiser]

@handsomelad70 I attend church regularly. I don't engage in casual sex but I do not wait for marriage, either. In this particular case, the woman wanted to wait, I did not want to pressure her, and I waited until she was ready. We already had a close relationship and we stayed together for two years before ending it.

[handsomelad70]

You should be commended for waiting until your partner wanted to have sex with you, OAW, proving the truth of your username.

[NathanDavis]

my college girlfriend was your age, 19... when I was 20

and her decision was to wait, and we did spoke about this... she was in love with me, she wanted a relationship with me but she also said it very clearly, she was still unsure about having sex and that she didn't feel ready for that and so she asked me if I was willing to deal with that

and I said yes... that I was in love with and very into her for so many other reasons, other than the possibility of sex and I honestly never feel frustrated, however... HOWEVER, a few good weeks later, she did change her mind and her heart and the situation changed

we weren't sure either how long that was going to go... and I honestly didn't care to think much about it but I could not tell you about how it would be for me, if I had to wait months or years

[BoopBoopBeep]

Everything has a shelf life. You want him to wait a month? Most men will. You want him to wait 5 years? Not so much.

[Horse-girl]

I wasn't thinking 5 years so much, maybe a year or so, long distance also makes things go a bit slower.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Yeah, also makes you way less appealing. You can't squeeze my hand when I'm having a bad day. You can't make me a sandwich when I'm feeling sick. I can't spontaneously show up to your office and bring you lunch. I can't take you for a walk in the park after work when we've been working too hard lately. There's a physical touch component to a relationship. You don't provide that. I'm not saying have sex before you're ready. Far from it. You're entitled to decide to wait however long you want and are well within your right to do so. He's also well within his right to move along.

[Horse-girl]

Oh I know, I don't want to keep him if he's unhappy but it was him who asked me and he knew full well it was going to be that way.

[BoopBoopBeep]

I hear you. I deployed for 9 years, collectively. A lot of women said they could do it and stick by me. I'm single today. What people say they can do and what they actually do are very different. Best of luck to you!

[Horse-girl]

Thanks for that 😊

[David94358]

Sure but at your age it's not a big deal, as you get older and older it will become more of an issue.

How long have you been dating?

[Horse-girl]

Since December, we've been friends for about 2 years and he's liked me for 4 apparently. Although we are long distance so there is that as well.

[David94358]

Don't worry about it, if you are not ready for sex then don't have sex. It's really not that complicated.

Besides once you are feeling more comfortable there are options other then full sex that he will enjoy, but again wait until you are ready

[Horse-girl]

Okay, thanks for that 😊

[Wise4myage]

I don't, because I have more respect for girls. But theirs lots of guys who would get frustrated.

[Horse-girl]

Okay, thank you for that

[Wise4myage]

You’re welcome.

[SweetDripp]

It depends on the guy. I’ve had several guys lose interest early in relationships. I suspect at least some have been because I didn’t “put out” soon enough for them.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Ya, but if you like her then it might be worth it. Nothing wrong with a woman doing that a bit.

[sheikalana]

It's his problem if he feels frustrated. You should never let anyone pressure you to have sex in a relationship until you're ready and feel comfortable enough with that person. Go at your own pace.

[Nik1hil]

Yeah, They do, it's not about sex actually.

If they bust but due to anything else, it works, like BJ, handjob, wanking with you. That's all..

[bowenw]

Of course guys want sex, but any half decent guy will be willing to wait until you are ready. The anticipation builds excitement.

[Billlewis]

Of course I get frustrated, but that's actually a very good thing, in my case;)

[laly520]

some get frustrated n even cheat so yes possible

[Anastasia_543]

That's fucking true my boyfriend said same thing I have let him fuck me😂

[handsomelad70]

Yes. We're boys, we want to club our girl ASAP !!!

[Wiredone]

He might get frustrated but if he really cares about you, he will wait.

[jjj101010]

Depends on a number of factors, some guys will, some will be understanding. Can help if there are alternatives to sex until u r ready

[Jennz6]

Yes, I think that they do get frustrated

[Horse-girl]

So I guess most girls have sex pretty early on.

[Jennz6]

@Horse-girl I did

[OtterMan68]

Only if he's in it for the sex

[Anonymous]

Not at all, no sane guy would want sex early on