She didn't want to do anything physical. Does she not like me?

[Anonymous]

This girl and I who are dating got physical about a week ago. It was kind of spur of the moment, but before she opened my pants we had to stop. I invited her to sleepover last night but she said she shouldn't because she knows what I would be expecting. I told her we didn't have to have sex and she was fine with going then. We went on a date and then we came back to my house and cuddled and watched a movie. While we were watching the movie it seemed like she didn't want to have herself open to me, but she still was fine with me touching her. Then when it was time to sleep she faced away from me in my bed and was tight like she didn't want me to try anything at all. We just layed there in silence and then I said, "I understand you don't want to do anything, but I was wondering if that was because you wanted to take things slow?". She said "I don't feel like its right to have sex with someone you're not in a serious relationship with." We both decided we can't be in a serious relationship because she's going off to college at the end of the summer, but we're still "dating". She acknowledges that we go on dates and her good friends know that we are dating. After talking with her she seemed more comfortable and was facing me and she wasn't so closed off. Is she doing this because she isn't interested? It seems like she likes me but it seems like she holds herself back from getting really sexual.

Updates

+1 y

We've been good friends for almost a year and then things started getting physical between us and we started dating. I forgot to add that after she said that she didn't want to have sex with me because we're not serious she said that "You'll find a girl to be in a serious relationship with." I responded by saying that "Right now I'm only exclusive with you." and she said "We go on dates..." bla bla bla.

Updates

+1 y

Things got physical between us about two months ago so it's fairly recent.

Updates

+1 y

Well she just spent the night at my house and we had sex...

[toulouse]

She told you she doesn't feel right having sex, in tihs situation. being sexual might be included in that. but props to you, for coming out & saying what you wanted to know. I hate it when people get on here worrying about tihs or that, without even having tried to sort it out. good job ;)

if she doesn't want to get extremely physical, would you still want to date her? because that might be what youd be dealing with.

it takes me months to want to be physical. years for sex. doesn't sound like uve got much time.

what I mean is, if you knew she liked u. but she didn't want to get too sexual, would you still date her.. I mean, maybe your not worried about whether she likes u, but whether you'll get to mess around.

think about it, honestly.

[Asker]

Its just that feeling like because she doesn't want to get sexual I feel like she doesn't like me. But you're right maybe I should stop worrying about the whole sex thing. It does really seem like she likes me.

[Asker]

I'd be fine dating her with no sex. I just wanted to know the reason why she didn't because I thought it might've been because she didn't like me anymore.

[toulouse]

i think you have to try to trust her. if she doesn't like u, she's no reason to be with u.

if she doesn't want to be with u, shell tell u, I'm sure. ;)

[Asker]

Thanks

[Asker]

That made me feel 10 times better because I totally know she would say something. She's extremely honest and caring.

[toulouse]

EXACTLY. that's why you're with her, silly. ;-)

[MsPink1516]

Ohhhhh I see. I still stand with the thought that probably she's scared and she is mentally preparing herself for what she thinks will become a "break up" believe me some girls do that, so, they refrain from sexual activity and start forcing themselves to fall out of love for fear of a break up. Just try and be supportive of her decision and show her you want to be exclusive with her. EVen after she goes to college never stop proving that you are exclusive with her because what I am getting at is that that is her fear either you or her leaving. So after she goes off to college don't forget about the little things like showing her she is still exclusive to you.

[Asker]

We've already discussed the fact that we have to break things off when she goes off. I told her that even though I have to let her go it will be tough for me because I think it will be hard finding a girl who I have as good of a connection as I had with her. I also told her that even though I'm letting her go I hope our friendship lasts a long time. She told me that we should Skype and Facebook each other while she's gone.

[MsPink1516]

Skype and Facebook sound like good ideas. There are still possibilities that you and her might be able to maintain a long distance relationship, but it seems to me that she's not so interested anymore.

[Asker]

She's not interested because she's just not interested or is she purposely doing that? But since she's going far away like across country we can't see each other.

[MsPink1516]

Like I said before it could be both she could either not be interested in you anymore and wants to let you know little by little OR she might be doing that on purpose so she doesn't get as emotionally attached to you I know you both have discussed breaking up by what you said but she is probably trying to get less attached to you the evidence points to that. No sex and just dating, when before you guys would get physical I mean I think she is trying to get less emotionally attached.

[MsPink1516]

First of all she doesn't have to have sex with you too prove that she likes you. Second, she probably thought things through and thought that once she goes off to college u'll meet another girl or she'll meet another guy. I would say from your part take it slow and show her you support her. I'm shure she's interested but she is probably scared

[jounghostjisokh]

she doesn't wanna get too emotionally involved, I'm sure she wanna have sex with you.. but not now since your both gonna be fra away from one another

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she likes you, but only wants to be sexual in a serious relationship. Neither of you can have a serious relationship, so she's having a nonsexual relationship with you until she goes to college, unless you tell her that you only want a sexual relationship or you decide to try being serious.

[Anonymous]

i think she likes you but she doesn't want to get physical with you because she is afraid of getting too attached to you