Why do nerd fandoms have a sexism problem still?

Question

I’m a nerdy girl and while I try to ignore it I’ve still seen so many different fandoms like gaming, Star Wars, dnd, anime, comics, fantasy etc have inbuilt sexism/misogyny that is still rife to this day. Fandoms have always had their fair share of toxic issues but I’m surprised this specifically is still such a big issue even in our more progressive society. Surely most fandoms would have grow up by now and held less biases compared to before. But nope. I’ve seen many older fans get upset about how their beloved fandom has more women in them now and that they’re ruining it for them. Like seriously what is up be with that logic?

ObscuredBeyond · Accepted Answer

That's odd. Because I don't see any such thing in any of the games I play. Instead, I see toxic admins and moderators, scouring the bowels to punish you if you ever once had a conversation about mods or PC gaming. The "purity" of their Facebook group about the console version of a game must not face any risk, or so they say!

And if you make mention of a funny glitch, they're out for blood! Far Cry groups are the biggest offenders I've seen in this regard.

I've also seen toxic heterophobia in the Sims community. Bands of gay supremacist extremists will invade whole Sims fandom groups like a swarm of locusts, then act like the game exists only to pander to their sexual preferences, and nothing else - and will go to lengths to silence or ban anyone who dares remind anyone that the game is meant for a more general purpose!

Oh, and these radicals don't believe you being silent is enough. "Silence will be interpreted as disapproval!" That's witchhunting!

Because I don't allow these types to go unchallenged for their hypocrisy in carrying the spear into battle, while pretending to carry the shield, I have found myself facing ostracization and discrimination from most of the Sims community. Affiliate badge sites will allow sites that are on Tumblr that haven't uploaded new content in four years; but not one will touch my blog! Why? Not because I have "inadequate quality" of items. My successful uploads to Mod the Sims prove otherwise. Rather, because I refuse to let the rainbow militants abuse power they've unlawfully seized for themselves to trample others unchallenged.

Sims has always been a game that men and women have used equally. But I will say this: there is often a considerable difference in how it's used. And games that were once meant as refuges for men, don't want to be forced to conform to an outside agenda.

Let Sims be Sims. Let Barbie be Barbie. Let Skyrim be Skyrim. Trying to turn Call of Duty into Barbie is as offensive to men as is turning Barbie into Mortal Kombat is for women. Genre desecration is not something that should be treated lightly!

Also, as soon as the pink-haired "wahmen" get involved... they quickly expel everyone who isn't just like them, and ruin it - including expelling women who had a more balanced view! Worse: they aren't content to just make the old crowds feel unwelcome: they try to ruin their lives in real life!

This is like telling a homeowner that he has no right to be offended when a home invader breaks into his home, kills his family, and loots him clean, then claims the house for himself, leaving the lawful homeowner with nothing!

Men are tired of LITERALLY EVERYTHING having to be forfeited, to a locust swarm that never leaves them with ANY concession! To bitch about "gatekeeping," is like beating up a man who has already been the victim of a robbery, because you sympathize with the robber!

My advice: when you show up in Rome; be respectful within reason of the Romans. Don't show up, and insolently demand the "right" you don't even have to barge in and take over, and expel Romans from their own Rome! And if they throw you out for trying, don't bitch about it. You brought it on yourself!

At the same time, don't be a punching bag. If you show up and act modestly, don't tolerate being treated like a slut. But if you have done literally nothing, call out those who brand you a "thot." That title should be reserved for those whose actions and attitudes warrant the label. The man who throws it around carelessly, is a raging d-bag.

TonyV · Accepted Answer

Well a fee women have fucked it up. People want more representation in comics like women, African Americans, Hispanics, lgbtq, etc. Fine whatever, but the issue is that these people won't come up with there own characters so they are changing existing characters. White male characters are the enemy now, they keep reddening character to be gay, bi, asexual, pansexual. The sex think is annoying, cause I assume we don't even see most of them having sex while fighting crime so their preference is erelavant and just seems like an odd vertu signal to shoe horn into the story, and if he have seen them romantic with someone the gay, bi whatever switch dosent make sense. Or some silly plot hole changes their gender or race, they claim the existing female characters are problematic and degrading so the give them all the same tomboy outfit and butch shaved on one side of the head hair cut.
So basiclly they are alienating the long term fans ruining the liniage of their favorite works.

Plus it's just like why can't guys have a place to themselves? Like comic con? Some washed up twitch girl famous for painting her tits was there trying to stop the "explotation" women, like really? You're famous for body paint, you're famous for female explotation shut up. Makes the space kind of hostile for men cause now there's loads of "sexy" quin Stacey's or half naked harley Quinns and Jinxs walking around and if they think someone's looking to much cause either her whole ass is out or maybe just maybe someone likes the costume, boom you can get in trouble, so great got to be careful which damn way you turn your head.

So yeah they're some legit issues that come with it, some of it is just ignorance tho I'll admit that, I'm sure some stupid guys think a girl can only like sailor moon or Shera.

I don't know it's like when the girls ruined the boys outs, that was not needed, they claimed the boyscouts activities sounded more fun, ok fine then change the dumb stuff the girls scouts do, no ones forcing you to do that stuff, but no, they had to barge in and take over our space, and qhats worse I think the girls scouts still exist, why do they get to keep their own personal space and take ours too?

theothersider · Accepted Answer

Lol, well honestly they are kinda not wrong. Diversity has systematically destroyed fandom by creating via committee and twitter survey than via passion for the source material or any real talent to do anything with the source material beyond the writers original vision. for example, instead of having the talent to write new female characters for comics and video games most new "writers" prefer to gender swap a character. instead of making a interesting gay character. they take this now gender swapped character and make her gay. instead of writing a solid black character they then race swap this new gender swapped gay character... now fucking up the originating fandom and made a character that is not only lazy writing but their only defining characteristics are they have a pussy they are gay and they are black. characteristics that those that are female those that are black and those that are gay are not very interested in and certainly none of the original fandom thus in making a book for every body you have now made a book/game for no body.

Case and Point. Rye from the new star wars movies... they essentially remade Luke Skywalkers story wrote in a girl made her a ridiculous mary sue with a personality like wet shit and removed virtually any obstacle in her way making her journey about as interesting to watch as said wet shit drying on hot pavement. then on top of that they had to humiliate and destroy the rest of the fandom to boost her up.

personally though most of this is over blown and largely made up. I have been a smoking hot female nerd most of my life. While admittedly most of the guys at the comic shop would rip off a arm for 10 minutes in the sack with me they have only ever been respectful and endearing... so long as I show a hobby that admittedly is made more for them than us the same amount of respect.

Ez-Bri-Z · Accepted Answer

As a girl who is also into playing D&D and MTG and has more video games and board games than I could ever realistically play, I think it depends on where exactly you set up your circle on whether or not you experience it. For example, my D&D campaign is led by another woman and a few of our players are female too. There is no sexism at all in that one, but on the global scale it isn't as bad as it used to be even 30 years ago.

Unfortunately you are dealing with a group that hasn't been used to dealing with women because in the past the stigma for being a nerd was real. Some just never grew out of that phase and so they pass it on to others and you get that kind of culture that wants to reject women from their inner circle because it makes them uncomfortable. They want heroes and friends that represent their own looks and values.

Phoenix-gb · Answer

Sorry you've had that experience, while I don't generally have an issue with anyone wanting to come in and enjoy the same things I do, I can also see why there would be pushback when there are suddenly demands to change exactly what made these things popular in the first place. If you don't like what exists, don't change the existing media, create enough demand for alternate options that leave out the bits you don't like and includes the new bits you do.

Like I said, personally I'll talk nerdy with anyone who wants to, if you game, you're a gamer regardless of gender, you want to brag about your kick ass D&D character, tell me all about them, as long as you're not judging people for liking aspects you're not the greatest fan of (lets face it, most women have an issue with the fan servicey aspect of a lot of these hobbies that attracted the initial guys over and made them as big as they are) then I'll respect that and not force those aspects on you where avoidable, while geeking out on everything that's left.

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

I haven't really seen such behavior in any kind of statistically meaningful frequency, but then I don't really go deep into fandom territory. I like the things I like, and if other people also like those things and wish to discuss our shared likes, then that's cool too. I guess what I'm getting at is that if a subset group within the broader "community" has some ingrained bias for harbouring sexist attitudes, then that says more about the closed dynamics of that group rather than some generalised 'truth' about the nature of the larger community -- which is really less a 'community' than a loose cluster of disparate individuals who just happen to share this one particular interest as common denominator. It's likely only when you drill down into the more sequestered, more rigidly defined sub-communities that shared beliefs about "women's place in the fandom" can really crystallise in a specifically negative form. Entropy increases in isolated systems, right? So the more isolated a sub-community is from the general populace of "people who share XYZ interest", the more cultural entropy is likely to form within that sub-community. Whether that entropy takes the form of mysogony, gatekeeping, in-fighting, or censorship, or groupthink, or whatever other toxic behavior, is secondary to the fact of entropy itself.

Anonymous · Answer

It’s fantasy. A lot of culture and mythology still has women as sex appeal. Japanese culture also has women as weak and sexualized. That’s normal for them and the women expect it, enjoy it, and profit from it. It’s all fantasy. I don’t see a problem with it. If you are talking about specific individuals you interact with who are unpleasant, then it’s up to you whether you hang out with those crowds or not. I actually think it’s quiet the opposite in the fandoms you speak of. Women are extremely empowered, shown great favoritism, have much more opportunities, and don’t need to be as competitive or skillful as their male counterparts for similar recognition or to achieve certain feats. I could give a hundred examples. Outside of fandoms, the world and workplaces have grown extremely progressive, women have more rights and opportunities than ever in history, and when you compare it to islamic muslim countries where women have almost no rights, and most of the women prefer it that way, I think we are in a good place. You don’t have to associate with people who think less of women or sexualize them. There are many social circles that protect and empower women.

Lionman95 · Answer

I´m not sure but most guys that nerdy that I know have let not so good relationships to women. For them it´s a problem because they used fandom to flee from women to have something of their own, so to say their own little world.
By women entering their world it gets ruined because they already feel like failures in dating in real life now their fandom also kind of changes into a more female orientated one. That way they loose their ground because now they say that´s sooner or later female dominated as well.
Most of these guys at the end of their 20s and are still single or never had sex for them fandom was something to feel they are good in something and achieve some kind of goals, now they feel like fandom is also pointing out to do them that they are loosers.

Oigit · Answer

In general it's a long established norm. That was going long before women decided to start joining them. So you are simply seeing the long established norm play out for yourself. Also a lot of the guys probably feel those fandom things are their community and women as invaders. That is why there is probably a uptick in the sexism and misogyny. Because they are trying to pushing the invaders out. It's all part of that weird tribalism thing.

A progressive society is something you can really push hard for even in those fandom things. It needs to be achieved naturally and at an natural pace Because when you push progress you do risk regression. If you think those fandoms are toxic now, let regression start. The toxicity will quickly go off the scale.

JamesDiaz11 · Answer

The problem with "fandoms" is that they're typically revolving around some deviation of the "heroes journey," which is a MAN's journey. Don't let the new Startwars fool you, women do not play convincing heroes... Therefore, these people are fixated on the idea of placing themselves in the shoes of a traditional (male) hero, pursuing his destiny, which is invariably not a place for women.
Of course women are attracted to this figure, and/ or the setting, but you're going to be dealing with people attracted to what you define as misogny etc. Just know that going in.

HighlyVolatile · Answer

That's a Western thing and I think it's because if we go back to the 80s taking gaming as one example, Japan marketed things like Famicom to both boys and girls. The US marketed it to boys like this and put it in the boys' sections of toy stores:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/uI3rO3PbYOo

Contrast to Japanese commercials like this:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/tOGysAyUJ5E

And so I think in the West, this idea that nerdy things like video games are meant for boys, not girls, was sort of born and has stuck. We have the same way here in Japan with comic books and animation (or manga and anime). They are marketed in unisex fashion, while in the West, it is generally targeted more to one sex or another.

IMuser · Answer

Majority of the nerds have, at least once in their life, heard the following term from a girl "eww you are a nerd?"

This plants the seed to hating women because we tend to associate women as creatures who hates our hobbies.

Nowadays, a lot of women have embraced the nerd culture and it's refreshing but that "hate" still exists. That's why you will see a hate on, let's say gamer girls "ahhh she sucks at the game, just gets viewership based on her tits".

I apologise for all of us 😅

RolandCuthbert · Answer

Because many nerdy guys, unlike nerdy females are anti-social or lack social skills. This leads to them being very awkward and to having issues approaching and dating women. That whole incel underworld is whiny, it is political, and it is a lonely pathetic existence. They are miserable folks who blame their misery on women, the "left", or whomever.

They never blame themselves. And it becomes a downward spiral.

grega239 · Answer

Because feminists are forcing their ideological bs into their hobby.

The new starwars trilogy. Its a reboot of the old movies, and the men are replaced by women.
The 2016 Ghostbusters reboot. All women leads. The rebooted oceans movie. All women leads.
Same goes for the new terminator movies, batwoman tv series.
Warhammer. Feminists bitching why there are no female space marines.
Apex legends. Why is there a character pose of rosie the riveter in a video game?

Why do women feel the need to have a female equivalent of every male character?

Thats why they "sexist". Women come into the hobby and start fucking it up

Anonymous · Answer

They don’t. They have a wome problem.
Too many woke weirdos in there determined to be bothered by everything. The vast majority of people are sensible and reasonable. But then you have these freaks that flip out over nothing and ruin it for everyone. Often companies producing this stuff cave just because they don’t want to risk any trouble, thus the whole thing gets ruined. Star Wars is a decent example, I mean look at how trash the new sequels were. They scrapped an entire extended universe to replace it with those movies. It’s extremely difficult to find any misogyny in such communities, or anywhere in the west for that matter, but it’s easy to find woke people or compliant normies willing to go along with the cult.

megabamse · Answer

It's hard to know exactly why. In my opinion it's better now then it have been. How ever there so many "gamer" girls that is dressed like it's a only fans type of deal. Is that really a gamer when they do that? Also nerding is so imbalanced gender vise, to many boys. That don't make it right even so. Nerds are often the target of bullying, so they might be frustrated and take their shit out on anything they come across.

CheeseMonster · Answer

Oh shoot I'm getting into dnd. I haven't seen that yet though, and at least my group is half women rn. Maybe just find not-sexist groups of fans to do stuff with? It may be a smaller group but maybe that would make a better environment of fandom.

crmoore · Answer

I'm not too into Star Wars or comics, but I partake in all the others and aside from gaming, I've literally never heard remarks like that. And when it comes to gaming, I can count on one hand how many times I've heard a sexist remark, and that's from nearly 2 decades of gaming.

007kingifrit · Answer

women are fundamentally different than men. that means them being around changes things.

to pretend otherwise is childish and lacking in fundamental truth

so if women being there fundamentally changes things. then it's a pain to have them around sometimes

jshm2 · Answer

Nothing. Whats up with you not understanding this is what fandom really is? Just because a few gays, girls, Blacks or whatever join, doesn't mean all must bow to the minority.

Reijen · Answer

Probably because it is true to a certain extent.
I remember the show runners for Enterprise were saying in an interview that executives wanted to get bands of the hottest guys to play in every episode, all because they wanted to focus on getting the female audience.

boggboss · Answer

Lol its not hard to understand why lol yes are fantom that mostly contain guys and in many tend to be guys with poor or no social skills that don't interact with women so ofc when they do they are dog shit at it and can come off as creepy

Anonymous · Answer

They don't you're just a whiny cry baby with no emotional stability, and a very thin skin.

100% bet you don't complain about #KillAllMen trending on twitter or any of the other sexist trash Women love to push. Go deal with a real issue like Women being only 20% of suicides you whiny bitch.

Anonymous · Answer

I love seeing women in gaming. I hate seeing women like Anita sarkeesian get into gaming. The come into it believing everything is sexist, and what not. No gamers, male or female want women like that in our space.

As to the other fandoms. It's not as rife as you make it out to be. It's a minority. But because ilk like you see everything through a feminist lense, one person being like that as all men.. Which is not only stupid, it's dishonest.

AvaOneLasTime · Answer

You are surprised people are different from you? You can leave them be themselves, and be you too.  If you can't get along, I am sad to say it, but don't try to.

Hawner · Answer

Could you please give an example? I know some nerds have certain... Problems against the other sex, but I didn't think to the extent that you comment.

Heartache0405 · Answer

You act as though misogyny is the only thing going around when there is also plenty of misandry too. Doubt you even know what misandry is.

Anonymous · Answer

People have fetish for everything, it's the internet, you're calling it a huge problem? You American, there's people starving in Africa, and your huge is issue is because guys fetish over nerds? when you don't even have to pay attention to it? Jus ignore it... Seems like the one who needs to grow up here is you..

you're basically saying"Ew I don't want guys to fetish over nerds cos I don't like it"Well we can fetishize what ever we want, deal with it

jahaims · Answer

Because those groups in general aren't successful with women and pass the blame instead of admitting to theirselves that they aren't appealing

Anonymous · Answer

I didn’t have a problem with it at first, but I’ve come to the conclusion that if you don’t gate-keep what you love it will be ruined. Nearly all my childhood games, movies and comics have been butchered beyond recognition.

zagor · Answer

I was walking around outside Comic Con a few years ago (pre-Covid, obv.) and I was surprised at how many hot girls were around.

Then I read about how a lot of the sponsors hire girls like that to hang out and attract business.

Kenzy009 · Answer

because women come and take it over, then change it to something else. We men need our own spaces, even the boy scouts have been taken over. They may be rude to try and push you out

Deserter · Answer

Because they aren't fleshed out and interesting characters. You can tell when a character exists solely for diversity, and when they exist cause there's an actual good reason for them to.

captain_voidwalker · Answer

If you don't like it go find another Fandom and leave us nerds alone

Stephen_77 · Answer

Women today think that everything is sexist. Some things are just better suited for men, and women need to get out of men's spaces.

Anonymous · Answer

I think nerds have been used to being rejected and made fun of women for being nerds so they assumed it was a non women thing and might have made a tradition like it. Men still get judged by old people for playing with dolls or baking cakes

Havill4nd · Answer

I haven't seen any but then again I'm a man so I don't really know what to look for. Is there something specific?

TickleMe4ForFun · Answer

Luke and Solo are the heros... Leia was just the hot chick in the metal bikini. ^---you have guys that think this way.

Uptowngirl88 · Answer

People are dying in Ukraine rn. This isn't something most people care or think about.

JesseJayNeak · Answer

Get your priorities straight. There’s much worse in this world and you complain of this? Act your age

OddBeMe · Answer

This is related to another myth that Hollywood is liberal.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Same reason why everywhere else have sexism/misandry problem still

Anonymous · Answer

you rejected us and called us nerds and losers  why would we let you in now?

SignedAutographs · Answer

I didn't know they did

annabananna · Answer

Like that South Park dungeon and dragon episode?

Subarugirl · Answer

Because sexism is still a social issue

Andres77 · Answer

Don't try to understand them

Anonymous · Answer

What is that on the side of your cheek?

Anonymous · Answer

Do you have problems with Greeks and nerds?

Why do nerd fandoms have a sexism problem still?

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