Mom asking me for money - should I give it or not?

[devilish-cutie]

My mother asked me for some larger amount of money and I said I would give it to her, but I lecutred her about it, I said she should get her shit together, so she said I've ruined it and she doesn't want it anymore, that it's about her dignity. I told her she was a brat getting all pouty like that, I would give her the money, there was never question about that.

I get her and her dignity and all but I cannot take that seriously, she is not fully reasonable. She's saying it's about her dignity, but I know I would be taken for granted and I would never get that money back. Not that I expect it back, but then don't talk about dignity. I do think about myself as giving and generous person when it comes to people I love, but I don't wanna be the person that it's all gonna break on. Also, I don't want her to use my money on e. g. my sister that does nothing, also talks about her own dignity, that she doesn't want money from mom, but always takes it and never gives it back even when she has some money she spends it on herself. I know my sister believes what she says but in the end she doesn't act that way.

I love my mother and she has been the only person in my life I could relay on but mostly I have to do everything by myself, and I know if I asked her for the money she would want to give it to me but wouldn't have any. I don't want to be the only one that denys myself and works hard and then gives it like it's nothing. In my heart I would give it like that, but I don't think it's smart.

My mother says she gets me and that I'm right and that she needs to grow up and take care of her own shit, but I know she thinks I'm cruel and resents me for it. It hurts that she thinks that of me but I'm so very much tired of it all, and I don't care that much anymore.

In the end, what I ask is, am I selfish and unkind?
Should I force money on my mom to take it? I know she would if I force it; again, talking about dignity here...

[Anonymous]

You could have saved her the lecture, you either want to give her or you don't what you did is treat her like she is a child you are scoulding, she is your mother, she raised you, it must have been hard for her to ask you for the money, everyone is diferent i guess, as long as she does not make it a regular thing i think at least this one time you could have helped her out without the fuss/lecture sure she feels ashamed as it is your lecturing her just made it much worse, she's right to refuse it now everyone has their pride, don't force it now you already said what you meant, we need to be mindful of what we say or do, consequences of your actions.

[devilish-cutie]

I do want to give her the money, I just wante her to understand some things, she then said she doesn't wants it. I would want to not to think about it and just give it but I feel like someone should be reasonable. I dont' feel like I can relay on her to be reasonable and I know that in the end I'm gonna be the one that's gotta take care of everything, and that is not even the problem but the fact that I don't feel appreciated at all and like it's all expected of me casue I'm capable...

[Christoff92]

Depending on her situation