Always a friend, never a girlfriend?

For some reason guys always see me as their best friend or little sister. How do I fix that?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Learn about attraction, rapport, and intimacy. I usually teach men these concepts but I'll do my best to give you a tiny lesson in all three...

    Attraction isn't a choice. Don't ever waste time trying to change a guy's mind. He feels what he feels and that's it. If he's made you his "friend" it's best to move on.

    The most common reason someone ends up in "friend zone" is that they started in "friend zone."

    Rapport is stage two of seduction (attraction comes first) yet almost all of us try to start here. You might think "I need him to know me and like me before he'll feel attracted to me." But this is dead wrong. Men look at hot chicks in MAXUM magazine because we like what we see and how it makes us feel. It's got nothing to do with how much we know about these women.

    Attraction needs to come first so stop playing "friendly" and stop trying to build rapport before he's shown you he's attracted to you.

    How do you build attraction?

    Flirt, tease, dress sexy, and stimulate his sense. It's as basic as this. It comes down to your body language ( are you confident in your own skin, or are you awkward and uncomfortable?)

    Banter and role play with him (Google "banter roleplay flirt with guys") and pay attention to how he responds. If he's interested he'll flirt back by teasing you, touching you and talking with you.

    Only once you're sure he's "in" and you're both on a date together should you start to build rapport.

    Rapport is about connection, honesty, and building trust. It's also about mirroring each other, both physically and emotionally. Laughing at the same time, being serious at the same time, or bantering with each other.

    And just when he's getting comfortable you can switch back to attraction (flirting, teasing, challenging him, touching him when he makes you laugh, etc.)

    Playfully going from attraction to rapport will pump up his interest like a balloon!

    The mistake most women make is that they get so focused on rapport and intimacy that they neglect attraction.

    So don't get too serious too fast... take your time. Don't swamp him with emotional baggage in the first 10 dates. Don't make him define your relationship.

    Keep it lite, fun, unpredictable, and sexual. This will leaves no room for him to think you're "just friends."

    I hope this helps!

    ~ Robby

    My Blog ( link )

    • Thanks. That was actually very helpful! Ill make sure to keep this in mind :)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Hello,

    You need to trigger there persue response, man are natural chasers and women are the choosers. if your interested in aguy then you need to flirt with him, hair playing tone of voice ect. if you pass the physical test then he will begin to persue you at which point so long as he has confidence he will ask you number and ask you out on a date.

    Good look


    • See I want to do that but it worries me they will just think of me as like a slut and not anything to be serious body for the night. Is there a way to do it without the guy thinking that? Thank you for your comment :)

  • First think carefully: do you WANT to 'fix' that? Doesn't your image mean you'll attract a guywith sincerity and sensitivity..versus the 'hot' or go-go chick that gets a lot of dates, but that no one really respects?

    Think it over before you decide to remake your image!

    • Its not that I have a problem with that, because believe in being friends before anything. But it won't go beyond that because they only see me in that way

    • Let nature take its course. You don't need to force anything.

What Girls Said 2

  • 1. be more feminine and not to be one of the boys.

    2. dress more feminine and show some skin.

    I am one of those girl friends too who eventually becomes the girlfriend or the crush. that's what I do. its great to be friends with guys but sooner or later, one of these guy friends fall for me for me. :)

  • improve your looks to become prettier