My mother embarrasses in public on purpose whenever we're together. As of lately I have been avoiding going anywhere in public with her. She always tries to guilt me into going places with her... am I wrong?Am I wrong for distancing myself from my mother who embarrasses me in public?
Am I wrong for distancing myself from my mother who embarrasses me in public?
This is my personal opinion it has no scientific basis or under general purposes.
For me it doesn’t matter that my mother is going down the tampon aisle in Claire’s ( I am well aware they do not sell tampons I’ve been in there with my ex-girlfriend’s and my little nieces and my mother ) z,? and by myself in order to buy something for them that is cheap but looks beautiful because I care about then’ Liz,.., and I look like a creeper doing it. By as long as my girls are happy I am happy) I’m going to do the best I can for the woman in my life it’s pretty simple,
As a man I’m sure it’s a lot more embarrassing But mother is the person I would do it for every single time hey sister will be there at least my girlfriend it would be the second most.
As far as askers go my girlfriend is in the top 98% tile Mother asked about me and.01% of the time my sister is 2.5% of the time and my nieces there about 0.4 but it really doesn’t matter I would’ve followed my mother anywhere if she needed me
I had a quick look at some of your replies - My advice is (1) Mom please tone it down, if that doesn't work (2) Mom I may have to stop hanging out with you if you don't dial it back a notch, if that doesn't work you are within your rights to limit your public time with your mother
Not to sound weird but what do you consider embarrassing?
I still embarrass my adult child just by breathing sometimes...
Well it tends to be my over talking to people in public.. I was an introvert until about 35 then I moved to the southern united states and became ambivert. It is hard to not talk in the South.
the only time I've intentionally tried to embarrass her was when she was being really nasty to me in general so when I would be saying goodbye I'd do an overzealous I love you and the icing on the cake might be a very gushy hug. Or I'd say make good choices like in the Freaky Friday movie.
I just read something else you posted. As parents we forget sometimes that our child is not a child any more and now our adult child. Things like did you order your birth control pills. She takes them not only for bc but for health reasons. Then if say she accidently messes up on a pack I'll say don't forget you're not covered until the end of this next pill pack. I don't think I've asked this in public though.
I"d just be honest with her that you feel like when you are out she says things that you'd rather not have advertised to the general public. That you are sure if you said certain things about her in public she wouldn't like it either. If she can't comply to your wishes just tell her that when she is ready to treat her like an equal adult then you will do things with you. If not you are just showing up for family functions. The is worse case scenario. Some parents can start to treat their children as adults and others never will.
I miss my mom. She's been gone since 2014. I have so many questions to ask. She told me one time I'll tell you why I think I'm the way I am some day. I never found out what she meant.
If you can handle her - you can deal with her - if you can't handle it - you can try to avoid the situation - I don't believe we should be required to take on more than we can bear but remember she has done a lot for you so you should try to love and respect them to the best of your ability and I know this can be hard when you feel threatened or attacked - in Christianity it says when you worry about God's honour - he worries about your reputation - your reputation is not your responsibility - it is God's prerogative
I feel you :/ I wish I could distance myself from my family. My mother is exactly the same. She is so ignorant about feelings and has zero common sense, she treats me like a kid, invades my privacy and does nothing that will encourage my independance. We have nothing in common, and can't even trust her, every simple discussion turns into a fight :sigh: Best of luck, don't feel bad for wanting to keep your mental sanity.
No, your not. You are perfectly normal to avoid going with someone who embarrasses you. Set boundaries, and get someone on your side to explain to your mom it is not ok.
Its one thing at family events (that happens to everbody) but if its all rhe time and it makes u unduly uncomfortable then yes it is reasonable to ask her to stop.
First, you have to discuss this problem with her and tell her about those things that annoys you, but be aware that you present your words to her in a polite, moral and logical way, this way may get her more calm when she answers you. Try this many times but take some time between these discussions. And if she doesn't respond to you and doesn't change her treatment, then you can distant yourself from her, but not too far, because your mother always loves you deep in her heart but she can't express that love properly.
Do you really need to ask if you are "wrong" to allow your wacked out mother to use you as a public whipping post... intentionally? Just asking makes you sound as crazy as she is !!! Duh, of course you're not wrong !! Just refuse to go anywhere with her. You're 25 years old !!!
I know you're right! It's crazy how you can tell just how manipulative and emotionally abusive my family is just by this question. How far they've got me down the rabbit hole.
You are not wrong. But I want to ask - have you talked with her about it? Has she simply ignored you if so? My mother still treats me like a child in many ways (not just like a "you'll always be my son" way, but literally like I am an actual child) and I don't think she's ever, in her entire life, listened to my feedback about anything. I don't totally avoid her but I do sometimes limit the situations I'll put myself in when she is around.
You should be honest about this and tell her how you feel about her attitude and how it is unpleasant to be around her in public. She may think it's funnt and may not realize that she's causing you major discomfort. In order to improve something that's wrong, we firstly must be honest and bring out the truth. However if she keeps doing this, then I think you're in your right to avoid her.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
So the chill side of me is like "yeah nope mum go away" and the stressed side of me is like "omg.. but in a few years time.. she will forget me.. and she'll be in a hospital.. and about to die.. and I would of wasted all my time avoiding her OMG NO NO NO"
Try letting her guilt you this one time and if she does it again, just lay it on her. “This is why I don't want to go anywhere with you”. If she think she isn't in the wrong then continue avoiding her. If she does, then ask her to work on it. by the way what does she do to embarrass you? Our ideas of that might be really different.
Gosh, if my mom did that to me I would say "Happy 65th birthday!" loudly back to her.
Heh.. Mothers feel extremely embarrassed if you say their age with a couple extra years attached in public!
I did it accidentally at a restaurant when my mother had turned 47, and said "Happy 49th birthday!" on accident, not knowing she was 47. Most unhappy look I ever got!
She is your mom, not your slave owner. You are an adult. Stand up for yourself. You do not have to tolerate her bullshit just because you two are related.
If you told her and she is changing this behavior, yes it’s normal. It’s not because she is your mother that she can do everything she wants with you and to you.
she's family, you should talk about a solution first. if still things dont workout, tell her dont ghost her or anything. just tell her that because of this and that, you will not do this and that with her anymore.
Not in the slightest, it's best to distance yourself from people who are manipulative like that. Of course, you should talk to her about it before distancing yourself more. Otherwise you won't know the reason why she's doing it to begin with.
You must never feel ashamed of the person who raised you. When you were a child u definitely embarrassed her but did she give up on you. Never that's why please be her number one supporter
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
No your not wrong. I did the same to my father. He embarrassed me so much that i cut him out of my life. He was so weird that whenever my friends saw him with me, they asked me what's wrong with your father later. But then every person has to start saying i don't give a damn at some point in their lives
It's understandable, but really what you should do is talk to her and tell her how you feel (preferably sprinkled with "I love you"'s and hugs). Set boundaries, but do it in a positive way.
Depends on what she does. In my experience when kids say that they are mostly just brats that said not knowing the specifics you may be justified. Also not going out in public with your parrents does not mean you can't be close.
Not if she is doing that to u. U should be Makeing her think about the way she makes u feel an take in to note how it hurts ur feelings also she is ur Mother after all. God Bless
Its payback for embarrassing her when you were a kid 😂. My mom does it to me too. Just do pull yourself to far away, because one day you won't have her anymore...
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