I rarely speak. Whether to roommates or workmates. Guys at work still joke around and chat with me, but it isn't because of any effort on my part. I have had friends growing up but since HS I have been a real loner which has been very depressing at times. I was always quiet and shy though. After a decade of friendlessness, I lack the ability to make friends or be friendly anywhere outside my own head.
I was abused since a kid so I learned that the best defense was to camoflage and never reveal anything about myself and just blend into the background by not talking. I was mute around one of my parents... Who was the scariest to me.
I think I need to start communicating. I didn't realize I must come across as stuck up because I never want to share myself with others. Because I am so shy. I realized now after talking to someone on here that part of a beneficial life is communication. I really had a mindset wherein communication was seen as bad/dangerous.
I was abused since a kid so I learned that the best defense was to camoflage and never reveal anything about myself and just blend into the background by not talking. I was mute around one of my parents... Who was the scariest to me.
I think I need to start communicating. I didn't realize I must come across as stuck up because I never want to share myself with others. Because I am so shy. I realized now after talking to someone on here that part of a beneficial life is communication. I really had a mindset wherein communication was seen as bad/dangerous.
