If someone develops feelings, can it go back to friendship?

[Anonymous]

My male friend just admitted while drunk to developing feelings for me during our HS years. After that incident, he has become distant. He's online but doesn't speak to me as much like before.

I really have no romantic feelings for him. Kissing him would feel like kissing a brother. I'm just wondering if I can ever get my old friendship back? I've known him since 4th grade; that's a lot of history. It would suck losing a good friend. I just want things back the way they were. Can we go back to friendship again like before?

Yes

No

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Stop saying things like that kissing a brother lol , it would hurt him never uses such sentences
It would make him feel bad or guilty of something.

I dont think it can go back , everything else is just simply a diversion feelings don't die.

Leave the decision with him , but also be able to accept that he loves you and will keep loving you.

But no need to get too much concerned about it.

Tell him that you understand he likes you , but you are intrested only in being friends and you should never cross the lines.

Then ask him to take time and decide if his ok with it by time he would find someone else

[Asker]

He wants me to give me space and not to contact each other for the meantime. This really sucks. I missed my old childhood friend; the one whom I grew up with, went to the same school, used to play with, would tell each other our secrets, was like a sibling to me (I'm an only child and he was like a brother to me), etc. I missed that old relationship; the friendship from our early years.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Hmm why is that you didn't consider him as partner? He could have been your friend for life?

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Do you like someone else?

[Asker]

I don't feel attraction towards him. I love him the way you love your sibling, your family. Physically he's not really my type either.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Like what is he like and what's your physical type

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Anyways do a favour on him , and let him go it's disgusting to him , when someone you love says that they thought you as a sibling it's very heart breaking.

Please refrain using such words before him that would be kind of you.

I really feel sorry for him 😔

[n4meAL]

tbh a lot of people both girls and boys just bullshit that I can't love him because I already consider him a brother... actually he just doesn't want it not because he sees him like a brother... my advice you should also stay away from him a bit so he can start to forget you a little hmmm... you may not be able to be friends with him again before he has a girlfriend.

[sissyalexa]

Unfortunately I don't really think it ever does, once someone is in that romantic place, they tend to have changed how they see you anyway, from my experience, guys who admit to liking a girl are only looking for the response "omg! I really like you too!" And if you give them anything other than that they will distance themselves and act as if they had never said anything 🤔

I do hope I'm wrong and you can save your friendship though! 😊🥰🥰

[Asker]

I hope you. We have a lot of history. It would be sad for him to just walk out of my life like that. We was my childhood playmate; we were best friends. I wish things would go back how they were. I want my old friend back.

[sissyalexa]

I get that! 😔 I think the problem is one of those "you can't unring that bell" 🤔 if you're lucky he will be able to accept that, and I really don't want to be negative for no reason but it does make you wonder if part of why you where so close in recent years is because he fancied you. Its hard when you can't know the intentions of people around you, was he only still around you cause he fancied you or was he there because of a genuine friendship!

I really hope it's a genuine friendship and it'll be fixable! ❤

[Asker]

He wants to take a break from speaking to me and be left alone for the meantime. I just hope he'll come around soon.

[Gigi2019]

This topic has been covered in several B movies... Unfortunately, the conclusion is usually in favor of the guy having a glowup and the girl removing him from the friend zone. In my opinion, you should just let him go. He will resurface in your life if he really values the friendship above wanting to be your romantic interest. If not, there is nothing to be done about this situation except to move on with your life.

[not_a_twinkie]

I mean, I can't speak for the internal minds of others but I can still be friends with people I've had feelings for in the past and I have friends who have admitted to having feelings for me in the past, so in short yeah it's possible.

[Swezie]

I'm sorry to tell you this but that's it sweetie his a guy his not gonna show you how much this is hurting you but his not gonna want to be your friend either. He loves you and he doesn't stand a chance if you labeled him a brother. Why would he stay if he can never be yours.

[Asker]

This really sucks. I miss the old, innocent times when we were friends. He was my childhood playmate, we grew up near the same neighborhood, same school... it would be sad to just move on and let go of those memories.

[Swezie]

I know it would be painful but you have to put his feelings Into consideration just cause he won't say his hurt doesn't mean his not he risked everything by telling you he likes you now not only does he not have you y'all don't even talk you got two choices one is to let it go and somma forget he ever existed or the other way is to try and I mean actually try and be with him but during this period you can't see him as a "brother" see him as a guy you're getting to know and don't date him out of pity he'll definitely kick you out of his life

[Asker]

We've just talked and he wants to be left alone at this moment, wants me to give me space. I hope he can eventually come around one day.

[DarkWinterNights]

Unfortunately that ship has sailed. Since you’re getting older it’s also going to be harder to keep friendships with straight guys in general, much less one with a history of an awkward rejection.

[Asker]

I know. I really thought we could remain best friends (without it ever changing into romance) permanently. We used to go to the same schools, played as kids, have picnics with our families... regular activities friends do. I missed my old friend from my early years.

[spartan55]

Nope. The horse 🐴 is out of the barn now.

[Asker]

This sucks. Even though I'm still on his contact list, he just told me he wants to take his time and be left alone at this moment. I missed my old childhood friend I used to play him, hang out with, the innocent age where we were great friends.

[skytatoe]

Yeah he just needs to get over you.

[Asker]

Hopefully it happens soon. I miss the old friendship, one of my best friend I could confide in (without it turning into a romance), the one I used to play with as a kid.

[Exterminatore]

Hate to inform you but it’s over.

[Asker]

I wish my old friendship; the once childhood playmate, my old friend I could trust, the old him. It would be sad to for him to just walk out of my life. I wish he would see me the same way again as when we were much younger, as his best friend.

[Anonymous]

Sure? But does he want to?

[Asker]

He wants to be left alone at this moment. He doesn't want to be contacted for the meantime. I hope he eventually comes around and goes back to being my old childhood friend.