Should your family’s legacy/ reputation be your responsibility?

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

Let’s say your parents/ family has a specific reputation in the community / a family business to the point your last name is very well known.

Whether they’re known for their religious ties to the community, a family business , influential and specific reputation. They have always supported you and may even support you as you go into a different path BUT they ask you to lie about it so they can keep their reputation.

What would you do?

I do feel responsible

I don’t feel responsible

[ShadezMcgee]

Good question, man. If I was to be upfront with you, my family, specifically my dad's side was very involved and is well known in my part of the state because of their profession and devotion to church and their town's community.

It carries a weight of pride, but also indirectly puts you in the spotlight because everyone knows your family and the reputation that they established almost seems expected of you or anyone that shares the name. You hear about the accomplishments and the praise they receive, and it almost feels like an obligation to transcend what they have done to keep that reputation intact or expand on it.

I would get questions from people who knew them like, "Oh, are you going into the family business?" Or "Are you x's grandson or x's son/nephew?" It honestly feels good to be affiliated with that level of esteem, but it is stressful because now it seems like it is an unspoken expectation and that if you go against it or make a mistake, it is like a slap to the face of those who expected otherwise and to your family's name and legacy.

I try not to step back into my hometown much anymore because of it. I believe I am responsible for the name I have and will do everything I can to ensure it is remembered as something held in high regard like everyone before me, but I don't want to feel like I disgraced it for not doing what may have been expected of me or not accomplishing something grand.

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

I completely understand that, I was in a similar situation so I get it

[DonkeyDan]

I feel in no way responsible for my family's legacy or reputation, it's the reason I turned my back on them at 18. I don't want their legacy and I don't want to be involved in their aristocratic lives. As far as I'm concerned their legacy and heritage dies with them.

[WonderBell99]

I feel responsible. I try my best to live up to my parents’ expectations and keep up my family’s reputation. However, I think it depends from person to person and the situation they’re in. If your family pressurizes you into doing something you do not want to, then you shouldn’t feel responsible for “protecting” the family’s “honor”.. it depends on the circumstance. Why do they want me to lie? Do they not support me? Do they feel ashamed? My family is very big on honesty and they’ll never ask me to lie about anything..

My family has always supported me, yes but if I were to do something that they do not like in the future then it’s not my problem. I will be my own person after 18, and I’ll start making money by 25-26, so it’s MY life to live. I won’t do anything scandalous lmao, so if they do not like any decisions I take in the future, it’s on them. I will not feel responsible

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

Perfectly put

[Xoxocutekitty]

If you're living in their ocean, drinking their Kool aid, using their social network, it's best to play by their rules.

I think if you value freedom/independence, feel free to vote with your feet and live the life you want to, but outside of their community where it'll affect them. Move a state away, get new friends, essentially build your own community.

[HighlyVolatile]

Maybe in the middle? I'll try to respect their basic wish of preserving their reputation by staying out of the spotlight but I'm not going to lie about what I do for a living. I might also favor a business name so that if I do end up having the spotlight, it's not so obvious that I'm related to them.

[FinalFantasyBro]

I at all don't feel any responsibility for something that was out of my own control like a simple name, I prefer to make my own destiny it is the reason why I hated my childhood because all I remember is living up to others expectations instead of my own. Now that I finally became the adult it is time to start living up to my own expectations and not pretend to be happy to be hearing other garbage.

[DizzyDesii]

Lol my fams reputation isn't good so i’m probably the best reputation out of the bunch 🤣 My public sexcapades wouldve only slightly tainted their reps. But had their reputation been good, yes i’d feel pressure to help maintain it

[NathanDavis]

the reputation in our family is to NOT lie, for no reason... our word matters around here, that's honesty and that is what keeps us alive (knocking on wood) lol

[Brendan24]

I've little interaction with my real family since we were separated when i was 4 so it might be easier for me to say this but no your family legacy should not be your responsibility your responsibility is to live life and do what you wanna do as long as your not harming you or your surroundings

[lrina]

i just don't really see much for me to carry on. there isn't really like any big family company or something like that, so nothing to really maintain afterwards. and it's not like my parents are famous, so i just have to build my very own reputation.

[JoyGirl]

I try to keep our reputation, but that doesn’t mean I will completely lose myself, while keeping it.

[RobT312]

Your name is your responsibility, I do agree with that. However I don’t agree with lying about it

[letuswaltzforthedead]

My family doesn't have a reputation for anything but I would. I wouldn't lie though since its morally wrong to lie, even for such a reason.

[CuriousMufuxka]

Is this some mafia shit? Anyway family is core to me, I will do what's necessary for the ones I love.

[Dontaaaa]

I mean... I guess technically it is by default, isn't it?

[Iron_Man]

The reputation is for eternity there’s nothing that I want to do to change it because it can’t be changed they are champs

[fegelen]

i was mentally abused till the point of hiting my head, and sounding difference after breaking the part of my brain.
so no.

[Agape93]

Nope, fuck em.

[FriendlyDrugDealer]

Harsh but true lol