Was my mother always materialistic or did she become one?

[Anonymous]

I hate to say it but my mother sadly sounds like one. She's now in her mid 50's and is definitely not the woman my father married long ago. Every time guests come to our home, the table have to be elegant, she's going to trips with her friends and acting like teenager, putting botox and fillers on her face for many years (hence why she has no fine lines), spends money on worthless decorations (if my father gave her his credit card to spend, she would spend it all and get him in debt), she expects people to put likes on her fb pictures, expects to be given great gifts and money for all special ocassions (Valentine's Day, her b-day, woman's international day, etc) or gets upset if not given what she wanted and lately is all about looks and appearances, making other people think we're more wealthy than what we really are.

My father now feels she likely was never in love in with him, but rather in love with herself and the idea of a married life, in love with her fantasy. He's starting to feel if he indeed wasted all his years and if he gave up his freedom in vain. He's even question if she might even have some characteristics of a narcissist because she's been take pictures of her face and nose too much and posting picture after picture like no tomorrow.

Updates

1 y

My father definitely wouldn't have married her if she acted like that when young. It's like she changed for the worse. Is it likely she always had those traits or become like that?
It seems like my father long misses the woman he married long ago.

[MaazHussain]

It's difficult for me to say whether your mother was always materialistic or if she developed these tendencies over time, as I don't have enough information about her personal history and behavior. However, from what you've described, it does sound like she places a great deal of value on material possessions and appearances, and may prioritize these things above other aspects of her life.

It's not uncommon for people to become more focused on material possessions and appearances as they get older, but it's also possible that your mother has always had these tendencies and they are only now becoming more apparent. It's also possible that she is using these things as a way to cope with her own insecurities or to feel more in control of her life.

Regardless of the cause, it sounds like your father is feeling unhappy and unfulfilled in his relationship with your mother. It may be helpful for him to speak with a therapist or counselor about his feelings and concerns, and to work on developing a better understanding of himself and his needs. It may also be helpful for your family to seek family therapy or counseling to address any underlying issues and improve communication and relationships within the family.