How to apologize to someone who you hurt and doesn’t want to be in your life anymore?

[Anonymous]

We been friends for a long time after a night of drinking and celebrating my new job. I got out of control and started acting inappropriately I threw a drink at my friend and said some stuff that I shouldn’t say. Later I told her I was sorry and in that moment I acted out. I did tell her other stuff that I was actually embarrassed. I honestly never drink that much alcohol or drink. She wasn’t drinking. We been planning for the longest time moving in together but she says she needs time to think through what happened. It’s possible that she won’t ever want to be my best friend again or if so she will not forgive me and treat me like she never knew me. The party went on and when it was over she left. She did say hurtful things to me and screamed at me.

[HollyK21]

She said she needs some time, not that she’s out of your life for good, so don’t make it that big of a deal in your mind. I’m sure you have other friends and/or priorities at the moment, so turn your focus elsewhere and give her some space.


You’ve already tried apologizing and I’m sure you’d like to explain, but that can’t happen if she isn’t open to having a conversation right now. So until that time comes then maybe it’s a good opportunity to do some soul searching. I believe that drunken words can be sober thoughts, so if somewhere deep down you’re really feeling some kind of way about something between you and her then it’s worth a discussion eventually.


Lastly I would tell you to not be so hard on yourself. Yes you messed up, but there’s things she could’ve done differently as well. If I’m the sober one out of my drunken friends, then I’m not going to engage with any one of them about “getting something off their chest”. If the talk is so important it can happen the next day, your friend could’ve easily de-escalated the situation or just walked away in general. It sounds like she stepped out of line a bit as well.

[Spongebobssocks]

Tell her "I'm really sorry for what I did. I did not mean what I said. There are absolutly no excuses for my action and evan if you can't forgive me. I at least hope it won't affect you, cause what I said when I was drunk was not true".

[Spongebobssocks]

Thank you for MHO! Wish you best of luck!

[ohsheeT]

I think the best way is to say hey I need to talk to you about something and just be 100% completely honest do not blame anybody or anything except for yourself and all you can do is keep it short keep it honest and just say hey I hope you forgive me I really like you in my life and then the balls in their Court and just wait and see what happens let them talk and just listen

[jahaims]

You don't