Why so hard making friends didn't have that problem when I was younger?

Question

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Accepted Answer

School provided the perfect place to make friends because you all spent a massive amount of time in the same vicinity as each other, you were encouraged to interact and collectively work together on assignments, not to mention things like lunch and recess making it easier to form communities. This is not the case when you're an adult and the only place you're forced to be on a regular basis is work, where you usually just do your job and go home. To make friends as an adult, you need to join a community, and this is most easily achieved by regularly going to a certain place where others go. This could be a quiz pub, or some place that has open game nights for tabletop games, you can find places by searching around and looking for options that make it easier to interact with other adults that share your interests and you can begin building a community again, it just takes a bit more effort now than it did in school.

Effably · Accepted Answer

Friendship requires expectations.

In school you knew what you'd both be to each other. The parameters were clear. Plus of course the shared activities made it desirable to get along.

As an adult, work is our shared activity but often we are not in the same phase of life, age bracket etc as our colleagues.

It is still very doable to get friends as a grown up. If you are in a setting where expectations are clearly defined you all get along. Party, hugging and dancing? Easier than getting dressed in the morning. Gymbros? It takes a compliment a day and some very light smalltalk. Mma? Its just asking if they're up for drinks after and people generally bite. Gaming? One good meme and insensitive joke and you're there.

As long as we know what we're expected to be it is easy. Just like mom groups and dad groups tend to be quite easy to make friends in.

BarryLiverstone · Accepted Answer

It’s about seeing someone regularly. Much easier back in school. Now unless you go to the gym at the same time each week or you do weekly trivia.. to make a friend is much more effort and then hang out

DarkWinterNights · Answer

You were forced to interact with other kids at church, school and college. Once people grow up everyone forms their own opinions, beliefs and habits. Makes meeting people with similarities much harder.

maroon_eyez · Answer

I know the feeling.. probably because you’ve been disappointed by some, you’ve seen real faces of so called friends.. And that made you trust less

Bobbysworld · Answer

When we young we don't have expectations, heart aches, drama so on. It's easier.

BLP11520 · Answer

Seems harder nowadays, can't put my finger on it

Why so hard making friends didn't have that problem when I was younger?

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