How do you deal with someone who is arrogant and condescending?

[Still-alive]

I just got back from my tax preparer guy and he's a bit of an arrogant douche. I tried asking him stuff I didn’t understand and just the way he talks to me makes me feel like im an idiot for even asking. Also cuts me off mid sentence too.

so suffice to say i think ill get a new tax person next year.

anyways how do you deal with those types?

Walk away if they try talking to you

Call them out on it

Troll them

Cut the conversation short and leave

Just deal with it

Im that arrogant condescending person and idc what you think!

Other (how do you handle them?)

[Rosexøxø]

Ideally I’d try not to get offended because there should be no offensive way to deliver facts and truth. Well. Facts. Facts aren’t offensive. So… whether a person is a crappy human or not, I have to remind myself that all people aren’t born knowing, and I probably know a few things that arrogant person doesn’t know. I don’t need to prove it or grab a diagram / drawing board just so we can compare and see who knows more. Do I like attitude? No. I honestly can’t tell if I’d address them on their attitude or not. Depends on if I feel the need. I may just look at them and understand that I’m not their mother or paid to teach them on manners. I’m not their teacher and I’m not god. I’ll ask the questions. If they’re rude in general I’ll seek out a new person of their profession who can at least deliver the facts with finesse, patience, and some common courtesy.

When I’ve dealt with people like this in the past, I’ve definitely felt angry and was burning inside knowing I didn’t have to prove anything. I simply did feel bad so later I had to address what I may or may not have felt uncertain or a bit insecure about. There’s been times but very few, where I did call them out on their behavior. It’s really not about what a person knows or what they do for a living or even how much they make. It’s their delivery of information, services, conversation, and etc. - to other people.

Part of me also thinks that’s their style and they probably talk like that to others, and they can’t help their own stupidity, so I’d just ignore it. Like back in the school days when you just knew one kid was a weirdo and called everybody “Sam.”

But he didn’t have special needs.
You could either ignore him and be firm that you like others to call you by your name. Or just understand he’s that weird guy and you just make an exception for him and ignore it and not take it so seriously.

It’s 50/50.

In general I think others should address things they don’t like so they keep a fresh sense of self and not mellow into nothingness.

Personally I want to try to adopt not reacting to certain things and this comes with risks of desensitizing, of course. I try to find a balance and just wish to be well aware of behaviors of other people. I just don’t want to let certain things get to me. That’s all.

In closing. It depends on what I think and feel in that moment. I need a personal scenario to actually be placed in and would need to see them as a person. Assess that and also see how strongly I feel about whatever uncertainty or insecurity I may have that would be discussed.

The only way to overcome an insecurity is to become secure in it, and doing that simply means learning more about it. The how and the why. Like that.

[Rosexøxø]

Voted other because it depends

And apologies for that happening. I definitely felt a little bleh 🤮 thinking about this situation and vaguely remembering similar situations I’ve been in, in the past.

Definitely was annoying and not fun.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

My grandmother can be a real bitch when she wants to be, and as the abusive, racist lump of flesh gets older she cares less and less about what she says to other people. It’s turned into me calling her out for it whenever she critiques random strangers for bullshit, or people in her church, or my mother, and that just turns into her calling me a bitch to my mother when my back is turned. She’s terrible with confrontation lol

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I actually seem to have a natural way of dealing with arrogant people in ways that have them inviting me back to their homes at the end of the day, like local celebrities here in Japan as well as very successful business owners and so forth. I've even had some buy me dinners that would bankrupt me: champagne and abalone oysters normally costing $3,000+ USD for free on their dime.

It's not because I'm so charming; far from it.

The way I look at it is that I'm neither star struck nor star allergic. If a person did something really amazing, I'll flatter them for it. But I'm not going to flatter them just because they're famous.

Even the way I compliment is kind of weird. Like I don't tell women that they're beautiful. That's too generalized. I could say that to any woman I find attractive. Instead I say their hooked/aquiline nose is beautiful, for example, and reminds of Greco-Roman statues. It comes off more sincere that way and much more observational; it sets you apart from the crowd who can't come up with anything very original.

So I'll even accept some degree of condescension from such people but I will challenge some of it. It's just never challenging a person as a point. And I'll still flatter but sincerely, very observationally.

I don't know how to explain it. I can try to work on how to explain it more. I just have a way that works for at least some. Not sure if it would work on your accountant but I have a way which has rarely failed. In fact, it's easier for me to befriend arrogant people than humble people given the way I work.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

One of the things is that arrogant people who at least earned some of their status and conceit are used to asskissers. So the first thing is that you never, ever, be an asskisser. They have a perfect radar for an asskisser.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I think one of the things is that I had a bit of a weirdly abusive but flattering mother. She abused me one way blaming me for things I didn't do and even hitting me belt and whip but she was also an asskisser the other way like saying I'm her most prized possession, that I'm the star of our family, that everything I do is so amazing, etc.

That made me somehow allergic to her just entirely, both when she rewarded me and punished me. I didn't want to be treated either way. Her flattery was as toxic to me as her punishments.

And I think I relate a lot to arrogant people that way in that they seem to have a similar allergic to both asskissers and haters. So I know how to navigate the middle ground as neither asskisser nor hater. I'll call them out for their BS but reminding them that I still genuinely admire their accomplishments, but neither overglorifying their accomplishments or underglorifying them either.

I'm just about bringing us all down to earth. And something about my way tends to click with a lot of very arrogant people. I became a stranger to most trusted advisor very quickly.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Also loneliness. Arrogant people are generally lonely in my opinion. In their way of placing themselves above others, they put themselves in a cloud with no company. I offer some genuine company, and not the asskissing and worshipping kind.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

You know, I'm neither here to be a fan nor a hater. I'm just here. And I'm down to make friends with all sorts and I don't mind if some are arrogant. That's my best attempt at explaining it. I do genuinely have a knack for this. My life experiences are weirder than fiction in some respects because of this. But I know how arrogant people can be very lonely, and I seem to know what they're missing.

[Wiredone]

I will call them out on it the first 2 times it happens. The third time I walk away and never talk to them again

[IslaTheWitch]

I'm assertive AF :D

"Let me finish first, please"

"I don't feel comfortable with the way you treat me, please be more respectful"

[electromagnetic]

my partner is like this sometimes. I call him out on it! And I correct him on the spot because I refuse to be the person he puts down just because he’s not in his happy place.

[mandyfire98]

I'll definitely call someone out on it in a heartbeat.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Walk away and say an asshole will be an asshole is how I see things.

[llorando]

Cut the conversation short and leave.

[thegreenyogi]

Ignore them.