My best guy friend completely stopped texting me!

[Miyani11]

Once he got a girlfriend. I'm kinda mad about it. I know he used to have a crush on me but I told him I saw him as a brother and wouldn't go out with him ever. (he's not my type) But I was happy he had a girlfriend but he was talking to two girls at the same time and got serious with one of the girls. He was always in an on-off again relationship with her in the past but I think now he's serious. But I'm really mad he just completely ignores me. I haven't even met the girl yet and we don't hang out anymore either. We haven't hung out since March last year. Ugh should I just delete his number and Facebook and get him out of my life already? I miss hanging and talking with him but he just completely abandoned me once he got with this girl.

Updates

+1 y

22 answers to my question shocked the hell out of me. Anyway, I'm dating someone at the moment. My best guy friend is not my type at all! I've never seen him as someone I'd love to date or marry. He's truly my bro. He's always given me advise on the guys I've dated. The last time we hung out was March 2012. We were both super busy with work and school but I'd text every now and then, but he'd text me like 3 days later. I just hate the fact that it takes him a month or two now to text me back.

Updates

+1 y

Also whenever he had a crush on me before he was always talking to two other girls so it would've never worked out anyway because he still had baggage. He still had unresolved feelings for his ex, he was still in an on-off relationship with her and I was always there for him when he was having issues with her. I gave him advise on what to do. I expect him to do the same. I expect him to still be there for me and to give me advise and to not ignore my text for a month or two and say "yoooo"! -__-

[kholland65]

Sorry but I'm going to be honest and start off by saying, "You're surprised by this". Like someone else said, these question come up all the time by women because they fail to understand the difference between men and women when it comes to mixed gender friendships.

Basically I'll I agree 100% with just about everything already posted but I'll just add my 2 cents. Let's start with the easy stuff.

First of all, regardless if its a guy or girl, its common for people to cut back on their communication with an opposite gender friend(s) when they are in a relationship. Personally I think its smart. Not that you should drop your friends completely, but its not respectful to your partner to be hanging out every day and texting another girl/guy all the time. How would you feel if you had a Boyfriend who was always texting some girl he knew and hanging out with her all the time? This is the first reason I don't believe its ever smart for a guy and girl to become too close of friends, its not sustainable because eventually one of you will enter a relationship and will have to dial back the friendship. His Girlfriend is his new best friend. That's just how it works.

Second, I think there is some jealousy going on here. Girls like attention from men, this is nothing new, but many times to a fault. It's why many girls, without even realizing it, will string guys along, or flirt, just to keep a constant bombardment of attention from their male counterparts. It's literally in your genes as a female to put a large focus on making sure you are being desired by men. Even men whom you have no interest in. An analogy that might make sense to you (even though its not entirely accurate) is that women view men as pawns for attention just as men view women as pawns for sex. Again not entirely accurate since not every man or women fits that mold, but you get the point. These feels are even more so exacerbated by the fact that the attention was taken from you by another female so you feel defeated. Basically you had no interest in this guy, but enjoyed the attention. As soon as a new girl took his attention, you not only missed the attention you were getting but possibly even starting to become a bit attracted to him.

Finally, my guess is he never really valued your friendship to begin with. 9/10 guys are good/best friends with a girl for one reason. To get with her. Sex/relationship. Trust me, he wasn't hanging out with you for the conversation. It's quite common for guys to drop female friends as soon as they learn they have no chance. The friendship was only a tool they were using to get closer to you and move into a relationship. It's how men operate. We don't like to go from stranger to lover as immediately as women do. We like to start as friends first.

I'm sure this guy doesn't hate you, but you have to accept that being friends with men just doesn't work, at least not close friends. It's not sustainable.

[fefe884]

This is a really good answer

[kholland65]

The relationship appears one sided to you now because it always was. Guys are not emotional, generally speaking, we do not give you advice out of the goodness of our heart, we're doing it as a tactic to make you like us more. Guys are hunters, every action is meant to accomplish a task, even if that task is to get into your pants. Again, I'm speaking in generalities. We're not completely heartless. Girls just mistake m/f friendships as being more serious than they really are.

[worzt]

MANY girls don't like it if her boyfriends are too close to other girl, even if he reasures that is just a friend, honestly, think how would you react if your Boyfriend was very close to other female, if you say "ZERO jealousy" then you might be quite unique. This is specially true when it is an early stage after a relationship turning serious, since, she might feel insecure as to how "serious this is" and even a small thing would make her suspicious, and you say he had a thing with her and another girl at the same time, so even more reason for him to be carefull to show her he's for real.

I read he is your BEST guy friend, are you really going to give up on him so easily? perhaps his thing with that girl won't even last, and you would hope he'd wait for you if for any reason you had to distance yourself of him. besides, like I said, this happens mostly in early stages, so as things progress, and the relationship settles the girl will feel more confident and he'll stop being so extracareful, when? well, that depends on how insecure the girl is and feels at the momment, and how able is the guy to erase her doubts, so the "at the edge of the cliff" stage may last some weeks or some months, and well, truth be told, some people (boys and girls) will always be reluctant to trust and letting jealousy and doubt get the best odf them, then, he'll lose you as a friend, or he'll choose you and his life over her and her insecurities

[fefe884]

Yup that exact same thing happened to me. I liked this guy and I think he used to like me, but we were friends all the same and used to hang out and stuff. Then he got a girlfriend and since then just dropped absolutely all contact with me. I honestly don't know why they do that, but I suggest you just stop talking to him too. No need to lose his contact though in case he begins talking to you again. But until that happens, just stop all contact with him since that's what he wants.

I honestly think he did that because he wants to end any contact with any girl he may have feelings for so that he wouldn't jeopardize his new relationship with his girlfriend.

[Miyani11]

Ah that's understandable. But if you're best friends you shouldn't just quit on a person and stop talking to them for like almost a year right? I haven't talked to him since March 2012 once he got a new girlfriend.

[fefe884]

Well it looks like that's what he wants. He liked you as more than a friend, you didn't feel the same way about him, so now he's moved on. Most guys befriend a girl because they are interested in her and want to be more than friends with her. I'm not talking about acquaintance friendship, I'm talking about close/best friend type of behavior . Otherwise, if they weren't interested in her, they wouldn't even bother hanging out with her and spending so much time with her.

[StHelensfan1988]

He used you do you really think us straight men can be friends with women without sex the answer is no we can't but if he is gay the answer is yes cause he ain't gonna try anything on not like us straight guys we try to get the woman into bed

[Anonymous]

Don't take it personally. It seems to be a guys way of doing things. My best friend did the same thing to me. It hurts, but just move on. Since he had a crush on you & you turned him down he probably felt a little upset about that. Now that he's finally got a girl he's interested in he might think what's the point of still having a friendship with a girl he used to like..you know ? in his eyes he wanted more with you. He probably only hung around because he enjoyed being with you, but now that he's got someone he's serious with he no longer has to be caught up with other girls. More so one's he wanted to date. If that makes sense.

[Miyani11]

Yeah that does make sense. So should I just delete him then? I don't want to deal with a flaky guy like that

[Opinion Owner]

If you feel like that's the best thing. It depends on you & how you feel about it to be honest. I mean I don't think you really have too since you guys are just friends. If it's making you upset than you of course should. Nothing wrong though with keeping things open so you guys can talk again. It's not like he's some guy you were going to date & he stood up for another girl ..you know ? its just your best friend spending time with his girl.

[Miyani11]

Yeah I know. But it still pisses me off. I'll text him and he'll text me back like a month later. I just feel like I shouldn't even still have his number in my phone.

[AznGirl370]

Well it sounds like he's really interested in this girl and his time is preoccupied with her, not you. And yeah you may miss him, but you should just be happy for him. That's what a best friend would do right? Being selfish and just worrying about what you want and miss and just let him be. I'd just move on.

[M_A_X]

Stop using men as friends. The only reason he was as nice to you as he was, was because you were female.

He treated you better than his male friends, huh? That's because you were more than that, and it gave you unrealistic expectations of what a friend is, and now you're going to have to deal with the cold hard reality.

[Miyani11]

That people can't be trusted or men REALLY can't be trusted? I don't know what friends are I guess

[yopyopyop]

This guy was probably a lot into you. But as you were just interested in his brotherly friendship, at a point he probably had to look somewhere else. And he found somewhere else what you didn't want to give him.

So why should you be mad ? You should be happy for him. He finally could move on from you, after understanding he was in a dead end.

[Miyani11]

I'm happy he has a girlfriend and that he's moved on from me! But when I text someone, I expect them to text me back not a month or two later. That's what pisses me off. I'd text him to check on him to see if he's still breathing and he won't text back

[yopyopyop]

That's basically what I said. Now he has moved on, or is in the process of moving on, so he doesn't want to "catch the bait" and keep talking to you. It was pretty, if not normal, predictable a behavior in my opinion.

[Miyani11]

Well I mean he's never done it before. Like he was talking to other girls and was committed to one of them, his ex. He still called and hung out with me. So now it's supposed to be different?

[yopyopyop]

Well people don't stay blocked in a phase of their life forever. Sometimes, they have to detach themselves from some people to be able to know new persons.

There is also the possibility his new girl is very jealous, and she doesn't want him to talk to you.

Maybe ask him directly, if it's the latter, in your opinion.

[Shablul]

Your best guy friend probably kept you around in the hopes that you would one day like you back. Basically, he was following you like a lovesick puppy. He NEVER saw you as a friend or valued your friendship. He wanted to make you his girlfriend. Now all his affections are for another girl, so now he sees no point in talking to you. To him, you're probably now just some former crush who he's gotten over.

[anonymousbastard]

Survey says? Ding Ding Ding we have a winner.

[TheDigitalSaint]

Well, before he was in a relationship, you probably took up a lot of his time. His new girl is probably taking up the majority of his time now. That's just the nature of female friendships/relationships. I wouldn't delete him, that just seems childish. Just don't spam him with messages. He might come around on his own, no point in trying to get pouty about it.

[charliecod]

You were going to be constant distraction so he had to let go. You friend zoned him which in his eyes was cruel, but he kept along for the slightest chance to get at you. Plus the girl may not approve of him hanging out with you since in her eyes one of you two like each other.

[PhilaPenn]

I think that you just want to have the guy falling all over you. If he used to like you, and now he has a girlfriend...put yourself in his girlfriend's shoes...wouldn't you be pissed if you boyfriend kept texting his "platonic" girlfriend, whom he used to have a crush on? Most girls I know would try to shut that whole situation down.

[kisaragi5TH]

I think you miss the attention he gave you rather than him.

It reminds me of an episode of Family Matters where Urkel goes steady with Myra, then Laura misses him because he doesn't come around anymore to bother and annoy her.

Move on.

[anonymousbastard]

I miss that show.

[Jaden69]

I've seen so many of these "best guy friend ignoring me" posts now. Maybe guys and girls just can't be friends. He probably talked to you because he thought he had a chance and talking and hanging out with you a lot may change your opinion. But eventually when a female who actually "liked" him came into his life he started taking her as priority because that would actually go somewhere, unlike his dead-end with you.

[avans]

Seems like you secretly like him..he moved on, I would've done the same if my crush say that to me...I would just delete her number and ignore her..If you like him then stop playing games and getting mad when he's taken. He's not gonna wait for you because your not the only fish in the sea

[Miyani11]

No honestly he's not my type and I'm already talking to another guy I really like. But I miss my best friend. I need his advise. I haven't talked to him since March 2012 or heard from him since he got his girlfriend. He'd text me hella late and it would piss me off because it's like you're just now getting my text and I texted you like a month ago? Would that not annoy you too?

[avans]

It won't be annoying to me if he texts 5 months late because he's not "MY TYPE"...The guys is totally doing the right thing, gotta give him credit for that. You should stop texting him and just focus on the guy your "Talking to". Just forget him because you led him to move on.

[sapphire2010]

Maybe his current girlfriend doesn't like the fact that he has a girl as a best friend. I too contact my female friends less when I'm in a serious relationship.

Why would you want to get him out of your life? Aren't you having a crush on him :P ?

[Miyani11]

I don't want him out of my life. I'm just mad he hasn't talked to me since like March 2012. That was honestly the last time we hung out since he got his girlfriend. I don't think that's fair. And I don't.

[sapphire2010]

Oh well, I think you can still taxt him though, but yeah its not fair indeed but this was kinda expected when someone has found a partner ;p.

[Happy-Plum-Pants]

Of course you miss him, he's a friend. His girlfriend probably just doesn't like when he hangs out with other women (feels that men and women can't be just 'friends")

By the way, if that's your real picture, which I doubt it...you're slammin'

[Miyani11]

Lol no, just my favorite blogger Xiaxue lol.

[Happy-Plum-Pants]

Oh

[harrison92]

Shes his priorty now, not you.. If you can't handle the fact your no longer his priority you may aswel delete him. I wouldn't advise that though

[M_A_X]

This is why men and women can't be just friends. This. Right here.

[britannny]

Don't delete his number or anything. That's a bit dramatic. Just leave him alone for a bit. Maybe he'll start talking to you again, maybe he won't. Either way, just think about something else.

[anonymousbastard]

Your jealous. See your now upset he doesn't have a crush on you anymore. Like most guys he's given up chasing you and moved on. You should do the same. I'm single that's if you like fat ugly stupid guys who can't drive or hold down a job.

[Opalivian]

You shouldn't have brother-zoned him and he shouldn't have completely ignored you.

[loveawake]

You miss him but you deleted his number and Facebook. He was moving on and he have found a girl now. He's now out of the brother-zone. Let him be happy with his girl now.