How can you tell if someone is just being polite or if they REALLY want to talk to you?

There is this guy I REALLY like, but i am not good at talking to him cause I get nervous- I feel like a five ear old then I get mad at him cause I like him so much & its making me an idiot.Ha,ha.

He tries to talk to me, but I feel like maybe he sees how much I like him & is trying to be nice.. But sometimes he looks uncomfortable, sometime his face lights up & sometimes he looks mad.

I like that he does not always talk to me perfectly - makes me feel more normal- but... It makes it harder sometimes.. Also he is REALLY smart {& he knows it ! :-)} So I keep expecting him to just be able to talk to me with no problem - especially if it is JUST to be polite... Tho, I guess sometimes 'smart' does not do much for intuition. :-)

So, I want to figure if he is just trying to be nice or maybe I am making him feel uncomfortable. Sometimes he really looks bright - just to talk to me, but maybe it's a 'ego thing'. I don't have an explanation for him getting mad at me fro time to time- I'd say like every tired or seventh interaction he is annoyed... I think I usually leave it to him to say hi, cause I am just procrastinating, trying to thin of what to say or how NOT to say it...

I wonder if he resents having to talk to me - I mean maybe he feels obligated to talk to me , there fore gets mad at me. Wish he would just not talk to me if that was the case. I do not want to guess, & I would never ask him about that, cause he would think I was crazy, especially if he is not even stressing over a of this.

Everyone thinks he is nuts for not just being crazy about me, but I think I could see how he could at least 'think' he has problems with me... IDK.

Ho can I figure this out?

I do have a lot of other options - not that I am interested right now, but maybe in the future- but I cannot even think about anyone else.. I don't want anyone else, at ALL... , of course my passions are pretty rational.. If I knew that he did not like me, if I knew he was just trying to be nice, I would have no problem walking on.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Haha, I know exactly what you mean. I have been dumbfounded about S.A.L. for a while now. It's interesting to see how someone like myself can utterly stutter about the situation at hand.

    - The only reasonable explanation is that with men and women- we have different expectations.

    Men date fast and look for the outcome as soon as possible.

    Women date slow and want to protect themselves while growing a bond with this person.

    - Basically, men are task-oriented; while women are relationship-oriented.

    The reason he is becoming annoyed with you, is the same as why you are becoming "mad" with him. It's that you are expecting something to happen, so you know where you both stand. I've done that in the past- and quite frankly... It's cute as long as it's not an "extreme".

    [ So, I want to figure if he is... uncomfortable. ]

    - It's that you both are uncomfortable. Take a look at yourself and see how you are reacting:

    "I get mad at him cause I like him so much & its making me an idiot.Ha,ha."

    - You're getting "mad" because you like him. BAM! This is proof of my theory that he is doing the same thing. People always act strange when they expect something from the person they care about.

    Just relax and have fun ^_^ You'll see in time that he is just being himself.

    ~ ArtistBBoy

    • Ok. but I get 'mad' cause he is being impossible to talk to but I don't show it. - I do pay attention to how I act but it is true I can not see how I look , & I will sooner be detached the overly involved - just because if I were on the reverse I would think better of some one who was a little distant rather the too pushy.. Just about respecting yourself & others boundaries & not being presumptuous... bUt still, I make an effort not to look annoyed.. Why would he not mind APPEARING irritated?

    • Show All
    • Why do you think people say that woman are complicated, or at least why do they say that Woman being complicated, means Men are comprehensible?

      I don't know if it is actually a 'guy' thing, or just a social stereotype, or a culturally imposed reality, but the RESULT is the same.. Men are not systematically comprehensible, easy to understand, or often times,it seems, even 'wiling' to be understood.

      It's not an attack on men really- Life's complicated, people aclimate to complexity. & I -

    • Wonder why woman are considered complicated to a degree far higher then men? & Is it popularilly thought to be an inherent difference, or culturally cultivated?

      My whole situation with Mr. 'Mercurial', is really getting me thinking about communication with people over all.. I am starting to think I met him, not because we are meant to be together, but that I take a serious look at human nature . human influence & the challenge of harmonization. W/ & M/ are 'people' - It should be expected.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Kelleena?

    • Umm, is that a word , a question, or do you think I am some one else? I assure you that I am not writing about anyone on this site.. Who or what are you?

      I like your picture. :-)

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    • I got that before you said anything ^_^... The irony in similar situations... *rolls eyes*

      It happens a lot on this site from what I've experienced =P

    • Oh, ok.. It' avery exotic name , & I thought it might actually be a take of from some spanish saying, or some such thing... probably if yo put a more familiar name I would have assumed as much.. Well I appreciate you appreciating my situation. Good luck with yours.

      Feel free to give advice.... But, I guess you know that. :-)

  • You don't live in NW Colorado?

    • NOw what? Ha, ha.. another one , or is this a joke?

      I am an anonymous user,so I can no tell you where I a from, however, I can tell you that I do not live there, in NW Calorodo.


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