Why some men are bitter and mean to the girls after rejection? (Page 2)

Question

It seems like they liked you a lot, told you many compliments, wanted to spend as much time with you as possible, but after rejection they kinda start hating you and try to hurt you. When I say rejection, I mean a nice way to say "No", not being rude or something.  It's very immature thing to do, just was curious why do they act like that.

jason15300 · Answer

I guess guys are bitter because they have invested a lot of time and effort into someone being rejected is like telling the guy, "sorry for all that time and effort you put on me, I'm gonna throw that away" obviously this isn't everyone and this is how people who can't handle rejection handle it

Giacomanzo · Answer

Most likely the "problem" is that they haven't been rejected much. I can only imagine [ :'( ] that if you have a good percentage of success, I don't know, 10% or plus, every single failure can be considered as a personal attack.
Regard the "rude part" I'm honestly happier when I get insulted than when I get rejected nicely. I know it sounds odd, but think about it.
When I get rejected by a jerk, the first thing that comes to my mind is "What an asshole!". When I get rejected politely and with delicacy, the first thing that comes to my mind is "Here it is decent girl #9999999 who I won't get."

godfatherfan · Answer

Who feels good after being rejected. I think the biggest thing that happens is women love the compliments, might take gifts, the ACT LIKE THEY ARE INTERESTED *** huge red flag. Then when the guy feels safe in assuming she is interested, he makes a move just to get shot down. Sorry, if she acted like she was receptive to him coming on to her, shame on her and she deserves the hatred.

hahahmm · Answer

Every time a woman asked me out, no matter how polite I was in saying 'no' she got mean/nasty acting. And God forbid that you turn down the advances of a married woman with anything other than, 'I would totally love to do you but my wife/girlfriend would kill me'... they are the worst. Except they will have their dumb husband after you thinking you tried to rape her. No joke.

R_Cakes91 · Answer

Going through that exact thing except the dude is harassing me now. It's gotten to a point where I've had to contact HR and my supervisor at our work to deal with the issue. He had a 2 hour long tantrum, telling me I was stupid after I told him no. Before that, he told me I was the most intelligent woman he knew.
A confident guy won't go there but someone with a tiny ego will call you every name in the book when you simply said no.

Silent_Observer · Answer

have you ever loved a doll so much that it breaks your heart when you lost it. What will you do? what did you do when you are a kid. In the early stages, maybe the guy is kinda new to dating, maybe he's sincere and hence angry. The fact is most guys are destructive and hold grudges if they are sincere, unlike most girls who are forgiving. Don't need to worry once depression is gone, guys won't even wink back at their exes.

PoliceLivesMatter · Answer

Both men and women demonstrate that behavior. It's not characteristic of men specifically, rather it's equally applicable for both genders. Rejection is never a good thing no matter how polite it seems. Both genders tend to react the same if they had an interest towards their partner

Alonn · Answer

For starters its depressing if you invest your personality into something and nothing comes out of it all the more so if its somebody's will that causes your failure. Job interviews are similar. More importantly, Men feel that they initiated the relationship they had to charm they had to be interesting they had to provide security. Its like we feel that you don't appreciate the hard work we invest into trying to please you.

Anonymous · Answer

The way a guy acts after a rejection shows his maturity. I know some guys take rejection harder than others, and have invested more into the girl than others. rejection could hurt a guy who's not used to it , has low self-esteem-self-image, or just really isn't confident or good with finding dates. Society doesn't help by showing guys that their self worth or masculinity is based on your ability to get a girlfriend. Not excusing their actions just explaining.

So yeah a guy might be hurt after a rejection. Which is normal and fine. Though he should treat you with a bit more respect. He's not worth your time.

IncognitoArchie · Answer

It's an issue of pride. When a man cares deeply about someone and is suddenly rejected by that person, oftentimes he may try to make her out to be the villain as a strategy for putting back together his shattered self-confidence. It's a way of convincing himself that she was never good for him, and sometimes that includes attacking her character in order to benumb his own pain.

It is indeed a very cynical and immature way to deal with rejection. We should never try to hurt those who have caused us pain; it does not accomplish anything good for anyone. In fact, true love would have the breakup-ee respect the breakup-er, even if he/she does not agree. Hope I made sense.

ruairi · Answer

personally i think its a case of guys forgetting that people they are attracted to may not always be attracted to them and having the hope of being with that person being ripped from beneath them.
this leaves them with a reminder of "why dont they like me", " did i do something wrong ", do they think they are better than me " etc and having those thoughts everytime you see that person can manifest as a bitter or agressive personality.
in short i think its the inability to emotionally detatch from a potential significan other which leads to projecting the feeling of rejection, emotional distress and feelings of inadequacy onto the other person.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Simply put... frustration. It's an emotion that is similar looking to anger, but it isn't quite the same. Imagine trying to get something done and you just can't figure it out... frustrated right?

Much like my feelings as fruit flies buzz around my mouth when I'm trying to get drunk off this IPA stuff... that is frustration.

vonasaurus · Answer

because immature idiots can't handle rejection and would rather blame us than take any responsibility.

according to a few articles i read a while ago, a man's worst fear is that his date will be fat; a woman's worst fear is that her date will be violent and harm her. and, with the way some folks handle rejection these days, that fear is justified.

AaronTupaz · Answer

Because many guys wait too long before asking a girl out and as a result they've invested way too much emotions and effort. It's better to ask a girl out within minutes of first meeting, this way a rejection won't sting as much and he'll forget about her in minutes

10dsw · Answer

I don't know any guy who is mean to a girl after rejection. If you are encountering this, you are talking to some very immature men.

However I kind of feel like YOU might the one who is bitter that a guy isn't putting much of his attention into you after you rejected him. And I say this because (1) you wouldn't be asking if this was not the case and (2) I have seen this with other women

savalisk · Answer

Same reason you would be angry after any sort of rejection. From job applications, university entrance applications all the way to relationships.

I'm going to assume a bit here and read in between the lines; you seem to be dealing with immature men, the kind that be nice, friendly and enter relations with you for sex. I think they fashion themselves as blatantly honest "assholes" rather than deceptive fuckboys.

Humans are weird creatures...

thunderbob · Answer

see the problem is some men have to really build up too asking you out it took courage and strength on our part too get there too that point and for some of us those we've loved we've been betrayed by and to open ourselves up to the possibility of having something again and then have it thrown back at us destroys us inside so we try to escape the thing that brought all that pain back to the surface

backtoblackkkk · Answer

Because their egos get hurt and they think by lashing out, they'll prove themselves. Some women act harsh after rejection too because women aren't used to being rejected. Rejection feels awful, but it happens to everyone at some point. There's no need to get upset over it.

CHRIS11796 · Answer

You have to keep to asking out over and over again. Eventually some guys will get frustrated and start hating themselves because of it. Asking themselves questions like "was there something wrong with me?" "am i ugly"? am i destined to fail all the time?" It takes a hit on a guy's self-esteem as well. I do agree lashing out at a girl for rejection is wrong and not the right way to handle it. But some guys don't know how strive and move on from it unfortunately.

AleDeEurope · Answer

Some people just can't take rejection. It's not just men, it happens with women too. Honestly, I think it's worse with women since they're not used to being rejected.

PixelEvolution · Answer

Men have been blaming women for their efforts for centuries.

of course. next question.

I know this sounds feminists but I'm speaking from a guys point of view. it sucks seeing a fellow man stoop down to that. and women have to just go through the bad ones and wait it out til the good ones. or one. eventually we'll get it down so guys don't do that. trust. :)

Brian-Brain · Answer

I cannot tell you why other guys do it. But I can say when I become bitter. So this probably does not apply to your situation.

I do not become bitter after a rejection like you describe but I do become bitter when:

- When she was leading me on
- When she was trying to use me
- When she was lying to me.
- When she was using to me for an ego boost
- When she becomes intentionally mean

Like I said, it does not apply to your situation but i thought I should mention it.

assley · Answer

Because they're told from early ages they are the conquerers of women. That if they can't get women they're inferior somehow. They're told how strong and powerful they are constantly. So when they can't have what they want, they don't know how to handle failure. Not their fault, but yes it's pretty crazy how they can't handle it. When women can't handle rejection they're labeled as crazy or desperate.

TripleAce · Answer

Probably because it takes work and mostly from the guy to even get to an acceptance or rejection... So it's frustrating sometimes when you put in effort for nothing... which goes for anything really

Skilledfolk · Answer

Well, to be fair, do women have to risk making that first step? No, they wait and then choose. Not saying its right, im saying these guys will react better when they internalize the fact that it will be unfair to them, it sucks, and it won't change. Female priv... I mean, beneficent sexism. All men are misogynistic in nature, so take the mans action with a grain of salt.

meatballs21 · Answer

They put their heart and feelings out there and had it thrown back in their face - that was a big stressful risk and now they're just humiliated.

They also figure that hey - she doesn't like me, I don't really owe her any courtesy.

Not saying I agree or disagree, just that this is the thought process. See also: sour grapes

disgustingweebtrash · Answer

If the rejection is simply put and you're not belittling him, then he shouldn't get bitter. Upset, yes. That's normal. You just got rejected. But I guess after a while of trying and rejection after rejection it just gets tiring for guys.

If you're belittling him, he is right to say shit back in my opinion.

ironclad_iconoclast · Answer

It's human nature, but it depends on the human too, of course. Some guys are deeply insecure and lash out those inadequacies. Some are egocentric and can't accept that they've been rejected. On the flip side, some girls play around and lead guys on. There are so many factors to take into account.

StellaS · Answer

You hurt their ego and something just switches off in their head, still no clue why all the drama with being rejected, if you like a person you could like it as a friend also
It is immature to act like a kid after someone didn't give you your chocolate, grow up and handle it like a man

MrOracle · Answer

Usually they're hurt and embarrassed - maybe even feel humiliated at being rejected - and some people - especially people who are never told "no", aren't very good at accepting rejections.

Being rejected always sucks, but most guys can handle it maturely. Some obviously cannot, and then they behave like spoiled, rotten little children.

Kuraj · Answer

Define "start hating you and hurt you".
From your description it just seems like you are expecting them to keep giving you compliments and try to spend as much time with you as possible, which is obviously not going to happen.

It's natural for someone's behavior to change when they get rejected.
There is no point in further interaction with you.

Phyllis91 · Answer

I have seen it too many times where a guy wants to hook up or be friends and if you say no they go into the personal attacks and blaming everything on the girl. I am sure then the girl is more than happy she rejected them. Guys do have fragile egos. Not all but some.

Ezra8 · Answer

I know that it is very difficult to approach women. You make yourself vulnerable and it can be very hard not to take things personally.

I hope you are nice as you say but you may not actually be. I have had women say " sure but I'm really busy" or some other excuse. it's not nicer because it is just not taking responsibility for the way you feel.
you don't owe anyone an explanation but it can be a kindness to be frank.

Tomsta · Answer

Some guys are constantly rejectes and that will tarnish thier view of themselves and the opposite which will manifest as bitterness

You know that feeling you get when you keep failing a certain task... yeah thats what its like to a guy who is always rejected. Its normally only temporary though like venting anger

Daylight7550 · Answer

After getting rejected time and time again, no matter the situation, it hurts more and eventually you don't try anymore. That's why I have created my own girlfriend in my mind. I know she's not real but she is there to comfort me and I know she won't hurt me. That's the most real feeling I have with something that isn't even real versus real women that have done nothing but hurt me.

ATuairiscean · Answer

I think there is a sub group of men who fall into "All In" category - They fall hard and create this fantasy of mutual attraction - When this doesn't work, some are just hurt and lash out upon reflection they probably regret it. I think girls can handle it more whether in a bitch session with friends or crying at them, men don't have same support network.
Apart from that they is another sub group of men who may have inherent bad feelings towards women and a rejection sparks the feelings off.

yellowmamba024 · Answer

Because they can't handle the truth that not every girl likes them. Hate to tell women this, but it's usually guys who get accepted way too often to behave this way. They get so much yeses that they just can't take no for an answer. Guys who get rejected often accept rejection are used to it. Thus, they feel that they have nothing to lose. In turn, they tend to not get too bitter about it. Plus, the guys who get rejected are often nicer.

akadatank44 · Answer

I posted something the other day on a similar question. Its almost like a coping mechanism for these retards to be like yeah I'm glad I'm not dating you, your ugly. To be mean to someone after you just got rejected in a nice calm manner is insane behavior. Its uncalled for as well.

SSam23 · Answer

@NajemEddine Thanks :) haha you thought that because you blocked me, you could get rid of me, guess that'd make me a smart cunt, pu**y face :). Now I could keep going but that means I'd stoop to your level so I'll just save my time since I already spent some on an idiot who didn't want extra knowledge

Dany1985 · Answer

I've recently been rejected by a girl that seemed to be interested in knowing me, we've dated for several times, and at the last date I got the cheek turned instead, I smiled and wished her a good night, I followed by a message some hours later saying that I've enjoyed her company, in which she saw but never replied, then I knew the rejection just happened, so I never followed up with another message, even though it hurts, especially that I like the girl, but we can't force ourselves into others people life. so silence is how I walked away

tiarobbie · Answer

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m0t0rcyclist · Answer

keep in mind what your asking when i say "are you not thankful for something that saves you hours, weeks, embarassment, wrongful guilt, etc? the neon flashing sign of douchebag is solar powered and some girls stand right in front of the panel, neon sign stops lighting up at all, so they think he's not a douchebag"

Ansy26861 · Answer

I would never be bitter mean but will accept and respect it, some men can't move on and think rejection is cruel, so they act cruel back because they want the girl to feel the same way as how he feels. He can call the girl nasty things or insult her! But this only makes things a lot worse and for the guy he has no chance with her ever in his lifetime.

ladsin · Answer

Something I've noticed is that people tend to give as good as they get. If a person is let down in a gentle and amicable way they will likely act gently and amicably back. If a person is scorned and ridiculed they will often return in kind.

Don't know if this answered your question though

Curmudgeon · Answer

They really should still teach Aesop's Fables in schools! Sour Grapes! "The Fox And The Grapes":

kate5922 · Answer

GIRL YESSSS. SOS Why they gotta be so cranky and mean? recently an older guy was horrible to me after I ended things after the 2nd date. i really don't know--but i hypothesize that it is a bruise to their ego, it brings up feelings of rejection and insecurity. and to not feel vulnerable, they lash out and try to take control of the situation by making you feel the same way. (They are only human and women can be the same way :) )

bente2 · Answer

Both sexes do this.

I think most men do this because, from a young age, they are taught that they should not show emotion. "Boys do not cry", they should be tough beings that are boisterous and wild, that are leaders and decisive. When a girl who they are emotionally invested in says they don't like them, they have the initial hurt that everyone feels, plus the rejection of their decision and what to them feels like rejecting their maaculinity.

kenworth · Answer

I can't speak for anyone but myself. with me I know I as I'm sure most people dislike rejection. I don't believe I've ever become rude or mean to any girl who has rejected me. but the more I thought things were going well with someone. only to find she lacked the same feings then after she has announced the rejection. I will usually retreat and distance myself from her for usual a short period of time. then I might try to seek a friendship with her

justLiving993 · Answer

immaturity. But yeah, girls do it too. it just hurts, but people should really try their best to get over it. there is someone out there for everyone, as long as you take care of and believe in yourself.

Cruciatusdeatheater · Answer

Most guys are prideful, so rejection doesn't come easy. It comes as a surprise and it hits them hard. That, or it may feel like they were trying so hard to get with you, and you say no, and it's like all that effort just went to waste.

Theuninformed1 · Answer

Because it hurts self esteem, we dont want to hear "no", just like a girl who is only interested in compliments coming from a guy she wants, its not how we want it too goo! Lol but yes iget very stingy and mean when irealize a girl not fucking with me, like give me back my 6$ worth of food out your stomach then ! Lmfao

Paul1964 · Answer

Because they are hurt and expressing how they've been made to feel. Men show their feelings through aggression. When a man loves a woman he'll devote himself to her and never stray but if she shits on him he'll react towards her in the only way he knows to try to make her feel how she made him feel.
And by this I don't mean violence towards her just anger.
If he truly loved her and he's found out she's slept with someone new it will destroy him inside.

DanoMR98 · Answer

I don't take it out on any woman in particular, but as I get older my discontent with my own lack of success with women has frankly caused me not to like womankind. They made it pretty clear that they don't like me, so why should I like them?

Porn and strippers will do me just fine.

dannymexico90 · Answer

Women are the same if not worse. Turn down a chick at work who you talk to regularly and watch how fast she starts being passive aggressive towards you. It goes both ways. I dated a chick a few times and didn't call her for a month due to shit happening and when I went to go talk to her she was mean. She didn't even make an attempt to talk to me in that one month and yet I'm the bad one. Women make no sense.

Marinite · Answer

Because they don't think of women as people, or at least don't practice treating them as such. Their entitlement communicates that perfectly. "No" doesn't mean "no" when you're kind of a jerk and you think you earned a yes.

TheUglyMonk · Answer

The way they behave after the rejections just says it all, if they're bitter and mean then they weren't even worth to think about.

generalm · Answer

Because they put women on a pedestal. They think that the one time their balls drop low enough that they have enough confidence to talk to a girl, that it should work and that it'll go exactly the way they want it to. It's not just that they can't handle rejection like mature adults, but that they fail to keep in mind that there are, literally, thousands of other women in their city and that one rejecting them doesn't mean all of them do.

ShadowUnicorneTears · Answer

ego. in my experience rejecting a man wounds his ego. they have this "friend zoning or whatever means she's a bitch" attitude. while I get not all men are like this. there's quite a large number that is. some can't take being rejected for sex or a date Vs. being thought of as a good platonic friend

xXHozanXX · Answer

well I've only been rejected by a girl once... And I never realized this but I WAS being mean to her. I guess it's because I felt bad and lost feelings for her. Now she's just another bitch to me. I guess another self-conscious reason is that I feel that maybe if I treat her horribly she might start to realise how great she had it and begin to want it back... in other words develope feelings for me... Probably should've went anon for this but nah it was a long time ago, time to move on!

iwantsaje · Answer

I wonder if has anything to do with if the guy is an extrovert or an introvert. Where some guys may internalize the emotional rejection triggers or take it out on the person who rejected them or someone else

Why some men are bitter and mean to the girls after rejection? (Page 2)

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