Why are so many men afraid to make a move these days? (Page 2)

Question

It seems like more and more lately I've noticed or heard from my guy friends and my own personal experience is  that even if they really like a girl, they'll wait for her to initiate or make a move. I understand girls can ask out guys as well, but I just think more men should stop being scared and go out for what they want. Granted, I do ask out guys occasionally, but most the time I just wait for them. Unfortunately, the type of guys that usually ask myself or my friends out seem to be the over confident or cocky assholes.  Men, are you really that afraid of rejection that you can't ask out the girl you like?

BlackSuperman · Answer

its a combo of fear, how they were raised, and also you have to consider this... so many young men were raised by women- so they do fear women in some regard... But the BIG one is fear... all the acting like 'cocky assholes' is nothing more than projection... that will change with time for them. Girls who ask guys out ain't desperate. They just know what they want...

AndyWes · Answer

Hey, why not wait for a girl to initiate? Then we know they're interested. When you're asked, you're in the position of power, to reject or accept. When you do the asking, you're in the position of weakness.

mike5150 · Answer

I have taken the initiative of asking 3 differant girl out and all 3 times I ended up getting embarrassed. The last time the girl had 3 guys beat me up for asking her. So I'm not going to put myself in that position again. I have great respect for any girl that asks a guy out because it goes against everyones pre-concieved notion.

madiocre · Answer

It's a really scary thing. that's why the cocky ones are able to do it. I guess if you want them to ask you you have to make it easy for them , let them know you are interested make them feel confident that they might get yes.

when you have asked guys out how did that work?

gummybear888 · Answer

Guys have to have confidence in themselves to ask a girl out. Some are mostly like cocky and jerks if they approach a girl to only have sex unless that girl is OK with it.

Some guys may genuinely not be interested in a relationship. A lot are non commital. Girls who ask guys out are not necessarily desperate. they can be really hot and guys are generally intimdated by them, so the girl makes the move or helps it along.

keith503 · Answer

Seriously as a man who has been dumped by nearly ev ery woman I have went out with, I am terrified of woman and rejection.  It takes me a long to recovery from rejection and I still suffer bad self image problems from the cruel things that were said to me.  I have been single for nearly 20 years, and have only dated a few times but that was enough.   Lame huh?  I am a good guy, and not bad looking, I guess I just don't have what they were looking for.  I was always to nice, buying flowers and stuff.  Trying to work out our differences when she was being a bitch to me, and thinking...Man this guy just doesn't have a clue...Oh well, I am happy now, and can take care of myself...Maybe someday I'll meet the right kind of girl.

Anonymous · Answer

I used to be shy when I was younger and slightly am today. I try, like every man should, to let rejection roll off my back, but it's kind of hard to put yourself on the line only to essentially be told that you're not good enough. I understand where you're coming from, but it's not like the possibility of rejection is just a little thing to get over.

Anonymous · Answer

It just seems dumb to make a move unless the girl gives some kind of obvious signal she wants you to because so many girls have so many guy friends you can never tell if you're in the friend zone or not. If I'm in the friend zone and make some move on a girl she's going to either classify me as a man whore or everything will be awkward after that and the friendship will pretty much end.

Anonymous · Answer

Men with the balls to approach a girl were hunted to extinction by the feminist movement in the late 1970s. All surviving men with courage are confined to museums.

The modern generation had their spirits systematically broken at a young age.

jrw3207 · Answer

First no we never think a girl is desperate. Its more her showing interest for the guys to know that he can now start the chase because she is into him. Here is the deal, girls seem to usually push a guy away when he is trying to ask her to hang out. They always say they are busy but then leave a little hope for him by say something that will keep him around just so she gets attention. Its absolutely insane how many girls reject even after a guy takes time to get to know them.

taster · Answer

As one female said " the trick is to decide which one you want and then try to make it seem like it is his idea"  If they are going to make all the decisions it is easier to wait and just be "selected".  The only problem with this is that you will get the desperate ones as well...

sikoo31 · Answer

it depends on the guy's situation and if he likes the girl enough to go out with her. I've liked girls and didn't ask them out because I knew the relationship would have no future, just cause you like someone doesn't mean you'll want to marry them.

and no, I don't see the girl as desperate if she makes the first move, I see her as brave and out going. and I wouldn't mind a girl just wanting sex from me.

headspun92 · Answer

yeah before you go insulting everyone, think of their back grounds, me for example I've always struggled making friends, I'm always too smart and logical, and for crying out loud, I was always the last one to be picked on any compulsory sporting activity at school or any team event , so how do you think that makes us feel? lonely? rejected? ignored? and what do we do? push our feelings inside because there the things that always get hurt and no matter how much you hope this get better they never do, until the point where they are now so deep, you don't know who you are anymore, its society's f***ing fault.

HonestAdvice · Answer

I have always taking a bit of time when asking a lady out. I have been fairly successful, although have not had a large amount of experience. It is hard if you like someone to put it all on the line and risk blowing it when your quite happy trudging along.

mz4568 · Answer

I will approach a girl but I like to know before that there is an invitation to do so. If I catch her looking at me, puting herself in places I am at, then I will know it is okay to say hi.

I will admit that there are times I would rather live with regret than rejection.

Anonymous · Answer

I am the exact guy you are describing...both the shy afraid to make a move guy, and the asshole. This is what I finally realized...I am an asshole to girls I don't respect because I know I can sleep with them and then never have to deal with them again, ie. I could careless what they think about me. On the other side, I have never had a problem getting girls...and it took me up until law school when I actually had to ask out girls to realize that every hookup I have ever had or girl I dated was because SHE made the first move. Now I often find myself being extremely shy, somewhat awkward when there is a girl I actually like because I have never had to ask a girl out! It's not that I am afraid of 'rejection' I think it is more as if I have to be 'the perfect guy' which leads me to not act myself...

Yeahhbro · Answer

Too many conceited bitches these days. Women are often very disrespectful when they reject a guy, with that in mind, who the hell will put themselves out there? Not only that but not only we have to make the first move, but we also have to put up with their damn tests, to make ourselves datable and attractive for them...its not easy to be a guy man.

FrancisN · Answer

Men don't afraid to make a move for girls they like. They afraid of rejection but it's not a big deal if they really like a girl.

I guess you and your friends need to think maybe you are over confident not those guys who are interested in you.

P.s I really respect girls who ask guys out.

Dr3amboat · Answer

Im super late to this but to make a long story short I will explain a bit here.I myself as a cute/hot guy am not scared of getting rejected by a beautiful girl.To tell you the truth I think most guys don't really know what they are really afraid of when it comes time to talking to a pretty girl.I can easily carry on a conversation with an ugly girl well because she's ugly, but when it comes time to talking with a pretty girl now that's when things get hard and its difficult to carry on a conversation and not making a fool of oneself.Most of us guys really prefer for a pretty girl to make the first move but some guys actually do make the first move.Same goes for the girl,girls always expect the guy to make the first move either because they are shy or because they are afraid of rejection.I understand that its the guy that has to make the first move but it can be pretty dam hard sometimes.0.o

DJS32 · Answer

It's purely a rejection thing, most guys just consider that hot girl over in the corner to be either A to pretty and therefore tired of dealing with guys walking up anmd talking to her or B that they'll be a bitch and turn them down. I agree with you, you'll never know unless you try, but it can be hard for guys to build up the nerve, or to blow a conversation halfway through and think of themselves as stupid for messing it up.

Anonymous · Answer

if I girl asks me out I won't think she's desperate   .    Yes  we are afraid of rejection I really liked this girl   but  I was shy   not asking her out was biigest mistake of my life . m advice is tell him how you feel if he doesn't say same back give him time

ITLSTL · Answer

Its been guys like me know that women are evil, and want to eat our sooooullls.

caleytega · Answer

u are kinda right anyway dear,may be too shy ,or too scared due afraid of being turned off,

i do like your score,and your profile,can we be friends,?

may be we can learn and share ideas together,

,i do await your reply,

enjoy your day dear,

Caley Tega

Boring01 · Answer

Rejection's a bitch that no one wants to mess with. That's why both men and women in general have problems to let the other know their interested and would live to get to know them better.

Anonymous · Answer

No to the second part but I could see where some younger men might think that. I don't approach because I don't have a need to. I have a highly independent lifestyle and really only a passing interest in any relationship. If a woman doesn't approach me I'm simply not interested, as I have better things to do with my time.

dudeman · Answer

uhh I'm not scared I thought long ago that if a girl turns me down don't take it personally because she doesn't know me personally. she just doesn't want to f*** me and I'm good with that not everybody is going to want to f*** you. I've only been rejected twice once in first grade lol and once as a sophomore in college, I was so surprised by that I didn't even realize I was rejected.i just walked away and thought what the f*** just happened

MrNameless · Answer

I think the bigger question is... Why do we still live in a society where guys are always pressured to make the first moves?

arashmenalagha · Answer

I hope it stays that way because times are changing, I'm curious as to who girls will choose, if the guy doesn't approach them, and if you don't want to approach a guy, may you forever be alone.

doctorwhofan23 · Answer

I actually really am that scare of rejection. I fear it so much I almost avoid girls all together. I don't have any female friends and stuff. It would mean everything to me if I was noticed and liked because my fear is too strong that no matter how much I like a girl I can't ask her out.

M_A_X · Answer

Guys tend to not care about if a woman seems desperate or not...  The thing is, though, the reason why they don't like to initiate is for the same reason you don't... NOBODY LIKES BEING REJECTED.

Anonymous · Answer

Most women are into loud , obnoxious jerks.  A lot of women consider shy, quiet guys to be wimps, losers, unmanly etc.  So why should we bother?  Keep pursuing the jerks and leave the rest of us alone!  You're NOT worth it!

Shaun · Answer

Because people don't want to validate their undesirableness. And, as you have noticed, it's mostly aggressive assholes who approach these days. Why is that? Who's changed more in the last couple of generations, men or women?

DS4L_ · Answer

I think it's because lately guys have been really into the whole "bad boys always get the girl" theory, so if they really like a girl they assume that she'll reject them if they don't fit the bad boy image.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm just not looking for girls. there are quite a few guys who just enjoy being single and don't want or need a GF.

Xenophobia · Answer

Cause some guys don't feel good about themselves.  Some are scared of rejection, while others are afraid of being called a "creeper."

BJJFIGHTER · Answer

i don't like making the move. if she wants something, then, she should make the move. that's how it works. if she doesnt, its ok.. I didn't lose anything  LOL,  its gonna be all the same.

Unloved_Grudge · Answer

Unfortunately I suffer from this problem. Heck, I even find it hard to ask girls out that like me back! For me, it's down to my apparent lack of self-confidence and shy nature.

defytraditiongirl · Answer

whats wrong with girls going after what they want? why is taking charge a masculine thing? it's the 21'st century, quit being so sexist

mayshea26 · Answer

If a person doesn't have the courage to ask a a girl out, that must mean the girls is not on his level. Maybe that guys should find more girls who are on his level to ask out; he'll have more confidence this way.

yastal1 · Answer

i know eh! Just ask a girl out- text her as much as you want--- we like the attention. Just ask us. The worst thing is you get a no, the best...who knows

socalgamehater2006 · Answer

because we have been doing that for centuries, and it's impossible for a girl to be labeled a creep, so that's why it's better if you girls do it.

moviedude714 · Answer

we hate rejection, personally I hate it as in it pisses me off, makes me angry, not hurt my feelings

mab5275 · Answer

I don't think it's rejection they're afraid of, rather than ruining what's going good, or getting hurt in the long run. There's more to it than just rejection. All guys are different.

MtnDewMan · Answer

because its a f***ing turkey shoot, guys don't want to work if there is an easy girl that's all over them and the girl they really want is waiting for them to make the move and its a lot harder.

studmuffin-perfect10 · Answer

because a girl will label a guy a creeper for trying lol

Anonymous · Answer

Rejection. Besides, why are girls STILL so afraid to make any move at all even now?

zagor · Answer

Yeah, and get sued/slapped/arrested/fired/scorned/kicked in the nuts?  Why deal with that when you can find photo-perfection on the web...

browolf · Answer

Too much socializing on the Internet reduces the opportunities to gain in-person social skills and understanding of girls.

SirSmith · Answer

The saying once was, 'Money is the root of all evil". You could answer most of today's problems simply by saying: "Feminism is the root of all evil!" ;) You'll find your answers there.

Kadiboma · Answer

GREAT question, am off to check out the answers from the guys! It's a bugbear of mine, I don't approach guys, I'm too shy and I guess I'm old-fashioned, I want the guy to make the first move!

emzy-89 · Answer

people are often afraid to make a move because of the fear of rejection.

oxidizer235 · Answer

they have been feminized and don't even know it... 45+ years of gynocentricism being forced-fed to everyone causes stuff like that...

allen_88 · Answer

I am  not afraid to make a move. I am just a picky person. Most females chase after me  that's how I can be a picky person. nor would it take a hit on my confidence or self esteem.

Anonymous · Answer

yes, I am really really afraid for rejection. Nowadays I always feel like a loser who just can't approach girls. its so hard to know if they are interested :(

Elmo420 · Answer

You think that we men should sstop being scared to ask girls out? I think that you women should learn to stop rejecting the sweet lonely guy whod give up everything for one day with a girl.

Anonymous · Answer

if women aren't willing to approach men, then why are you all fighting for "equal" rights...

maxxl · Answer

More shy guys, more single girls! Not a bad thing at all! ))) As for your last question, - no, a first move from a girl is not desperate. Confident girls are sexy, and no, that does'nt automatically means she want only sex.

pezzonovante88 · Answer

I'm afraid for reasons that I have conjured up in my head and should really be of no significant concern.  Basically, I'm f***ed up.

xxxMoneyxxx · Answer

either their not confident or just ugly women surrounding them

Marciano · Answer

you sound like an expert why don't you tell us what to do exactly.

Why are so many men afraid to make a move these days? (Page 2)

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