5 dates and still no kiss? Is this normal?

[AshleyBenedith]

5 dates and still no kiss? Is this normal?

I’ve been on 5 dates with this guy who I’ve known for a long time. We have lots of fun on every date and the conversation flows. However, at the end of it, he always just goes in for a hug or a kiss on the cheek. He doesn’t even linger as if he may want to kiss me but is too nervous…we just hug and he quickly leaves. Its driving me crazy because all our dates are really romantic. Like sunsets by the beach, or a cruise around in his car, a movie, etc... yet he never ever did anything more than hold my hand.

I thought this meant he wasn’t interested and have started to think of him as more of a friend. But he keeps texting me and asking me to hang out–I’ve never texted him first once or asked him on any of these dates. Is this normal?

Updates

+1 y

PS: I am giving him major signals like staring at his lips, or kissing his neck, or next to his lips. But he just gets flustered and turns the kiss to my cheek or forehead. I dont think he is a shy guy. He's a model and has a lot of self confidence in himself. Im sure he's not a virgin either. Might he be homosexual? I heard a rumor he was gay from a few people.

Updates

+1 y

He cares a lot about his social status and as soon as the rumors started to come out, he started asking me out. I might be his beard. He also texts me using bro and dude a lot yet we go out everyday on dates. Its confusing. He does like to show me off on social media a lot too.

[btbc92]

Instead of asking us you should be speaking to the person you're going on 5 dates with. You are the one that has to deal with this after all. Do the person have to make physical and social advancements just to prove a point to you? I can really see why the me-too movement end up being the case. The guy that you have here is very respectful and considerate and he doesn't want to make moves that both you or him for the most part is going to regret. He doesn't have to do anything the same way you don't have to do anything. The point is what do you really want? What does he really want? Only you can really answer that by asking him that. Is not wise to expect everybody to even attempt to make those movements on somebody. Things should take time. And if you're not the type of person that likes to take things slow, then perhaps you need to stop dating him and let him find somebody who does indeed is willing to do so. Otherwise is not wise to make assumptions. That's why you have unrealistic expectations. Your relationship is very healthy. Don't be impatient. In like another male used to have pointed out nobody really knows what you been doing with your mouth as well. It is no offense to you. But even I would not want to kiss them by not knowing where is. It's best to just ask these questions in honesty and integrity so the person can feel at ease and know what they're getting into. Is very clear that you were looking for somebody who's far more experienced. If that's the case then you need to find somebody else.

[btbc92]

Asker see, no. This is where you are in the room. Stop giving hints and signals. Verbally communicate what you want. Nobody is a mind reader. You can't judge him for not taking initiative to kiss you if you don't let him know that you want him to kiss you. You have a mouth you have a brain. Use your brain to open up your mouth and tell him that you want him to kiss you. And ask him if he has any reservations concerning that, and allow him to speak. And I find it to be extremely rude when you choose to listen to Rumours instead of going directly to that person. If you think he's gay then be with him. Because I guarantee you he is not gay. They only call him gay because he's not being lustful and being disrespectful to a woman, and then when a woman starts feeling a certain way then she wants to blame him but doing things that she wanted him to do. Please don't be that woman. Because. The kind of person that a man grows to despise and Hate. He is a respectful gentleman. Take care of people like that. Because they're hard to find.

[btbc92]

In the wrong*

[AshleyBenedith]

Thanks! I hope you are right :)

[btbc92]

Also from what you was talkin about I can see why he's uncomfortable. He just met you and you are moving way too fast and you're being way too bold. People like him and I are very sensitive to things like that. And it will be good if you have a conversation about these things before you even attempt to make those moves. Because all those things that you're telling me shows that he is very much uncomfortable. But it's only allowing you to do that because he doesn't want to lose you as a person. It's very clear that his inability to be physical with a person is why a lot of people mocking. I know because I'm not that type of person either. Trust me, I know I'm right because I am that kind of person too. I don't believe in trying to force things and trying to make things happen if it's not meant to happen. Especially if it's not natural. Both of you deserve the kind of respect that you want. And by him taking it's slow it gives you both room to really get to know each other beyond the physical. It may be too fast and too soon for him. Because if you don't start opening up your mouth and telling the person what you want you're going to continue to have the same cycle and is going to cause a lot of miscommunications and misunderstandings and that leads to resentment and bitter arguments. And worst case scenarios, a bad breakup.

[btbc92]

They only mocking him for his sensitivity. Don't listen to such bitter people. Most girls despite how they behave would want to have a man like that. Because it's hard to find respectful men that are gentleman today. Too many men are too busy trying to get laid. Now if you were in his shoes, and a guy thought that way about you he will call you a prude. You are dating him, he is not dating these other people that are spreading such nasty rumors.

Yeah, he's doing that because he feels he has to prove something to people because he's not experienced in these areas. He's not gay at all. And is very sad because that's how much they bully and shame him because he's not actively dating people. I get treated the same way. As somebody who has never dated and is a virgin myself, I always get called those things too. A lot of people assume that you're a lesbian because you're not having sex or showing interest in men sexually. The truth is it's really Nobody's Business. You like this guy focus on this guy. Do not focus on rumors. Because it's very clear that he's the bunk in them but he is not comfortable knowing that he's doing this basically for wrong reasons. I think what you need to focus on is less about the kiss and more to do about his insecurity problems in dealing with people who's expecting far too much from him. Right now what he really needs is a friend and somebody who's willing to support him. Because sadly he is also dating you for the wrong reasons.

[Moonchild714]

He's not gay, he likes you a lot and is nervous. Just because he's a model and comfortable with his body doesn't mean he's confident with dating or suffer from anxiety. Most in the Entertainment and Modeling Industries are tge most Self-Conscious, Anxiety Ridden, Unsure of Dating than anyone else, they spend their entire day being told what to do... Why don't you just kiss him... Many Men are Idiots with dating they don't understand signs especially if their not that experienced. Go for it plant one on his lips.

[AshleyBenedith]

I’m so shy to kiss him. Because I tried to plant one near his lips and he sorta turned away a little...

[Moonchild714]

Then talk to him about it. Honestly kiss on the neck should have been very clear...

[Moonchild714]

AshleyBenedith, thank you for the MHO.

[Cynicaldreamer]

Did you think he might be taking things slow so as not to offend or upset you? Or he might have been raised that way by his parents.

I mean he sounds like a sweet, old school romantic (lucky you!) And really sounds like he's into you.

Just enjoy the process of being treated like a lady; there really aren't many men left like that out there!

However if you just really want a kiss that badly? Kiss him! That way he'll know the attraction and interest is there on your end and you want more.

[Dongtai]

Alright. I’ll help you out. So you like this guy. You want him to kiss you or whatever. Here’s a little tip.

Not all men are like those guys in the movies. Some men need a little push. Empty your brain of all of the stereotypes you learned about men and see him as human. See yourself as human.

Call him over as soon as you can. Tell him it’s an emergency. Make it seem urgent. When he comes to your doorstep looking all concerned and worried, your heart will race a bit. Why?

It’s your gut telling you there’s a man right in front of you who just dropped everything to see if YOU was ok. It’s your gut telling you this man cares about you and likes you. Not only that, but it’s telling you, YOU like him too.

When you feel that feeling, you might lose your breath. And that’s ok.

Take small steps to him until your arms length away. Grab him by the face gently. He might ask you what you’re doing. Or he might become paralyzed but his eyes will be right on yours. Don’t look away.

Lean in as you pull his face towards you. Be gentle. Meet him halfway and kiss him.

Tell him the emergency was that you couldn’t wait to let him know how you felt about him and wanted to see if he felt the same.

[COMMODOREII]

Sounds like he likes you so much he doesn't want to mess up the relationship. To not frighten him away try kissing him back. Always start with pecks. On the cheek is safe, but if you try the lips that may tell you more. Don't be afraid to initiate the kiss.

[AshleyBenedith]

I’m afraid I’d make him feel uncomfortable since he might be gay

[COMMODOREII]

That's a possibility. But in today's society he could also have been brought up to wait till marriage or doesn't like doing it in public. The best thing would be to talk to him and ask him. Tell him you want to make sure where you are headed and assure him that you will still be friends whatever happens. If you want to be.

[AmandaYVR]

I think people are being kind of harsh with you about the advice. I agree with you, there might possibly be a sexuality issue here. I think your physical signals are clear enough. Yes, you could kiss him yourself. Might as well, so you get on with it and find out. If you really don't want to do that, or to talk with him about it or make a small joke, maybe go a little aloof/busy and see if he still initiates more outings.

[AshleyBenedith]

You read my mind :)

[OlderAndWiser]

Is it possible that he has some kind of relationship with another female and is concerned about doing something that he feels would be disloyal?

[OlderAndWiser]

If you want to give his a frying-pan-up-side-the-head obvious hint, do this. Next date, as it is ending, move in for a hug. Make it a full body hug with both of your arms around his waist and linger with that hug. Then, keep your arms around his waist but pull your face back, look in his eyes and then at his lips, tilt your head, move your face towards his (but not all the way,) and tilt your head to the side. If that boy doesn't kiss you then, he may be dead.

[Pinay_ako]

5 dates still no kiss? I guess there won't be a 6th date anymore. If I have to wonder if a guy likes me after a few dates, it's safe to say he's not into me at all. I don't have time for that.

[Sinnfeiner]

my advice is make the first move if you really want to advance this relationship. Or at least have a conversation with him about his intentions. It could be that he wants to but is trying to be a gentleman and doesn’t feel like you are comfortable with it yet, or he respects you too much. It’s also possible that he doesn’t have much experience, in any situation, communication is the key to any successful relationship

[EyeAmNiceGirl]

Ask him if there is a reason he never tried to kiss you. If his answer is anything other than "I'm gay" or "I really have a crush on your sister," you tell him that it would be OK if he tried to kiss you. Even if he doesn't have an answer, tell him it would be OK if he tried to kiss you. Some guys are so afraid of being too forward that they never even try.

[es20490446e]

https://youtu.be/0v4gp9dktKA

[AshleyBenedith]

Thanks for the video :)!

[es20490446e]

https://youtu.be/0juTULOW6BA

[Anonymous]

It is normal depending on the circumstances. Maybe he is scared you’ll reject the kiss, when you hug him, look him into his eyes and get a little close to his face and let him do the rest... this will at least eliminate his fear of You not wanting the kiss.

I know because I’m struggling with this at the moment.

[Anonymous]

Why do guys always have to do it? A lot of guys think it’s safer to let the women be physical first, women consider a lot of that stuff assault or harassment so a guy has to be very careful and that’s why it’s best if the women does it first

[DeeDeeDeVour]

Have you set up a romantic date with him in your place instead of going out?
If not yet, try it out and wear something seductive.

[WalterBlack]

That might be too much if he's shy or anxious.

[khaled1212]

Take him and get drunk and u will get all ur answers next morning 👌👍

[MannMitAntworten]

Sounds like "metoo" has him terrified to make any intimate move. Just kiss him or tell him to finally kiss ya damnit! If he has friend zoned ya, at least the mystery will be over. Though, I think he is too affraid to make any move is all.

[El_Heffe]

Not in my opinion it ain't normal in my experience either. I've always kissed, my lovers and made out with and we also have sex on the first night also.
I am not making light of my experiences to make you feel bad about.

[AnthonyLeads]

he's gay or probably no interest with you.

cmon! being a guy that is seeing a girl who is already showing her intentions and ignoring it? cmon dude!

[TripleAce]

So you went on 5 dates and you didn't kiss him? Why didn't you?
Obviously you want to. So kiss him

[MlleCake]

Why not ask him? There are so many reasons. Maybe you could even make the move.

[slatyb]

Kiss him yourself. Some guys have a hard time imagining that anyone would want to kiss them.

[nerms123]

You need to talk to him and ask about all of this stuff directly.

[Thatsamazing]

"I’ve never texted him first once or asked him on any of these dates" I cannot roll my eyes more.

[AshleyBenedith]

I always text him. Where did you even read that? And yes the dates part he always asks to see me before I get the chance to. Rolls eyes even more

[Thatsamazing]

LOL uhhhh I read it in ^ your post up there. That was the point of the " " quote marks. You wrote it. Are you serious? Did you not read your own words?

[Anonymous]

Im much older than you but on my first date the guy and I were already making out, the second date again making out, the third date making out + sex, 4 date, making out+ sex. No more dates or kisses or sex after 4th.

[scooogy]

You girls should finally learn that dating is not easy. We guys tear our asses up finding a girlfriend, and you think you can just sit there and let one guy after the other come up to you? No.