What does it mean when a guy says he's busy after a girl asks him to hang out?

[Anonymous]

is it a common way to reject a girl? why would he still stare at her make eye contact and be flirty chatting up a conversation if he didn't want to go out with her? do all men pull the busy excuse when they don't wanna date a girl or like her?

[Droosilla]

I had an experience like this, and long story short, I came to the conclusion that if he REALLY was into me, he would have tried and see what could happen, rather than shut it down from the start because he thinks he is too 'busy.' So, no matter how many times he said he liked me and that wasn't a factor, on some level he didn't like me enough to want to try.

I've found that, even though it's hard -- because in my case, I am still extremely attracted to him and feel that spark -- it's a waste of time if he already is putting restrictions. So, why do they still pursue you, even when they aren't going to make a move? Because it's an ego boost, because they genuinely like your company, because they don't want to hurt your feelings, they are too weak to tell the truth... there are many selfish reasons.

I'm sure many guys lie and say they're busy, when they're not. It's an easy out, and doesn't hurt the other persons feelings.

[Asker]

AGREEED!

[Anonymous]

It could be one of these two reasons:

1) He made up an excuse to not hang out with you. He was just flirting and nothing more. When it comes to dating you, forget about it

2) He likes you a lot but has fear of rejection issues or he had bad experiences where he got hurt in the end. So, he wants to go out with you but he's pretty nervous about it. The first thing that pps up in mind is to say "I'm busy". It's a technique to push you away. It happens.

Personally, I think it's no#2, but YOU can only feel which one it is.

[Asker]

thank you that's great advice! I honestly don't know which it is he's so mixed hot and cold my instinct says he's afraid of getting attached and doesn't wanna start something he can't hold together and then other part says he was just messing with me for fun and attention aka mind games =/ sigh

[Opinion Owner]

If you're confused, just be patient. Only time will tell ;) Best of luck and thanks for the BA :)

[swagger]

Being a Guy I do not think this advice is totally sound.

He may have actually been busy. You know with important stuff. Hard as it may seem for a girl we do not just drop everything when a girl we like asks us out. Plus it's rare that a girl chases the guy so why not savour that for a while. It helps boost our ego.

[jjevel]

I know this guy from school and we talk sometimes. Today I went to his workplace and tried to ask him to go out for coffee and he said that he has to attend a Christmas party that day. I though to myself, Christmas party in November? I feel so embarrassed.

[mikewnaz]

i have learned if you say you're busy it makes the girl want you more but if you say you're free then she wants you less in the long run.

every time I try to be straight forward and honest I get burned but if I treat her poorly to a point she will keep coming back.

it makes me sick cause I want to treat women awesome all the time and pamper them but if you do they seem to penalize you for it,

its just my observations and probably most won't agree with it,

i also think women act busy when theyre not interested but most men will just tell you if theyre not interested.

id be calm and not clingy. I think you need to get him to want to hang out with you without you doing the asking. if a girl asks for most men its a turnoff as they like the chase the gal or be the agressor.

hope this helps. id have an open mind and date someone else to keep your mind off this guy or find a good hobby.

[Asker]

thank you that's good advice I never thought of it that way

[Anonymous]

If he's made it a point to make it another time he was busy. If he didn't, I'm not going to sugar coat it like others seem to do. He's not interested.

If you really liked a guy & he asked you out. What would YOU say? Think about it.

I know for a fact I would make it a point that I wanted to see her at another time. (if I liked her) Maybe I'm a weird one but I would want to go out with someone I really liked.

[Asker]

he said exactly these words ' I'm actually quite busy these days with school and work but I will try to make time'

[Opinion Owner]

Well there you go, if he makes time then you know. The balls in his court. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, but you have to be realistic sometimes. And 1 thing I do know for a FACT. When a guy really likes a girl, he WILL make time. In your comment you said he flirted for a yr, unless he's an ass or ego trip I can't see why he won't. But don't you ask him again, it's up to him now

[chettah-two]

If he says he is busy, and ends it there he is not interested.

But if he says he is busy, but free on a certain day then he likes you...

[Asker]

he said 'im busy with school right now but may be in the future"

[chettah-two]

i don't know, that could mean either way..

[WeaponZero]

Maybe he really was busy. Why is that so hard to believe?

[Asker]

because after a year of flirting with this girl and knowing she likes you he should freakin set a date and be happy to go out with her

[Anonymous]

It never even occurred to you, or your Best Answer, that he meant what he said, and he was just too busy?

You people are brilliant.

Keep digging for those reasons which aren't there... oh yes, and tell us again how guys are difficult to understand. That's hilarious.

[Secretdesirez]

You have to feel out the situation. Also if often getting the "im busy" line and see if there's correlation. Find out his schedule ask, if he won't say then use your best judgement.

[gtex1991]

the same thing women mean when they tell a guy their busy

[jkjk123]

He just wasn't that into you maybe

[Asker]

thats what I saw it as

[Anonymous]

thats my excuse when I just want to flirt and sh*t but don't want a relationship

[Asker]

go to hell loser

[Opinion Owner]

hahahahaha what the f***? I was just telling you what I do to help answer your question.. why did you bother asking if you only wanted to hear nice stuff that would make you feel better about yourself. You are asking a question about mens intentions and you make the best answer one that's come from a girl that knows nothing about men, f*** me you're an idiot.

[Asker]

you don't need to help answer my question you need to get HELP yourself you flirt and sh*t with women to get some kind of ego boost to help satisfy your insecurities because it makes you feel better about yourself rather than being a real man and pursue a woman you actually care about to make your girlfriend, yea who needs help now mr. flirt d-ic-khead?

[Opinion Owner]

please explain to me how this means I'm insecure? if anything I'm more secure because I know I can get girls... your logic is stupid. Of course it makes me feel good flirting, why are you pointing out the obvious? I'm 17, why do I need to worry about a girlfriend and commit to a relationship and how does this make me a d***head? I have never had a girl get angry at me over this? I think your just insecure hahaha. All women do is winge and want money at this age, I can't be f***ed with that sh*t.

[invisible_monster]

I think he's probably busy.

[currannaaach]

I thought it was this. I looked at the best answer and was wondering where this answer was.

[invisible_monster]

yeah, if someone asks me to hang out and I say I'm busy... 99.9% of the time, I am actually too busy to hang out. Guys don't usually tell lies and play mind games. He's probably busy.

[Asker]

"guys don't usually tell lies or play mind games" LMAO girl what world are you living in

[invisible_monster]

the real one. Most guys are really straightforward and not that hard to figure out. As girls we expect them to be as convoluted as we are and thus we spend too much time over-analyzing what they say.