Guys, if a girl makes the first move to contact you after breakup, are you turned off?

[Anonymous]

no contact with my ex for like a month already. I was the last time who initiated contact because I miss him badly. but he ignored me on my last attempts because probably he really wanted to move on already..that made me decide not to initiate back again..but now after a month of no contact, I am more composed and less emotional.is it okay if I say Hi? will I look pathetic and cheap?

[Luopio27]

People of both genders have told me girls/guys come and go friends stay for life. I am 100% against this ideology. Those who can stay friends after rejection and relationship are admirable people because they act like adults are supposed to. All that p**** rally

(f*** those who we don't know well enough or easy to get dispose) is for teenagers.

Just send him and email sayn what you want from him. If its friendship, then tell him that. I say be real friends or not at all.

[Asker]

i think you're right.. thanks so much! at least I will try..if it doesn't go out well, at least I did my part...

[sumina7]

If there is some place where you can naturally bump into him, try to do that and say hello.

It is better to contact sooner rather than later. Waiting too long can make the person develop feel too disconnected to resume unless you parted in good terms.

[Asker]

the problem is he avoids contact now with our common friends . I think that its really impossible to bump into him anytime.. :( do you think he's okay? he seems weird lately. avoids everyone..maybe he has moved on.. I wanted to say hi..and be friends.. the decision to part was a common decision.. it was on a good term. but my last initiatives to contact him a month ago was ignored already...thats y I decided to not contact him anymore until now..but now I miss him so much...

[sumina7]

There is something wrong. Please contact him, as an ex you can insist on meeting him and figure out what is wrong. Your concern for him shows your true feelings. Express it!

[Asker]

thanks so much! I miss him already and I wanna do my part...whatever will be the outcome, I won't have regrets,

[terry2k]

There is nothing wrong of saying hi. But if he keeps ignoring you, then leave him alone. Was the break-up bad? Because if it was, then you may have to give him even more time. He may be really hurt in the inside, so give him some more time. Just prepare to face reality he is trying to move on. You should to if anything. Don't wait too long. I did and it just didn't feel good.

[Asker]

the decision to part was mutual. too much complication. he was tired of the situation . had to give up. he avoids contact with common friends and he is totally out of touch even @ Facebook. if somebody was hurt too much that would be me because he initiated the break up and I felt rejected cos my last attempts to contact him were ignored. but then now I miss him so much and I just wanted to say hi...oh well maybe I just have to forget about this...i may end up ignored again.. ;(

[terry2k]

Its all up to him now. You done your part. I normally give it a few months and if nothing, move on.

[Asker]

you're right! I've done my part...the ball is on him. well then maybe ill just have to move on...ive read from a book that " he who cares least controls the relationship" maybe I just have to give up...if he comes back, well I just hope that I won't even care by then... thanks fro sharing your insights!