If a lot of guys like the same girl would that encourage or discourange you to approach her?

[Anonymous]

She is not a slut and doesn't look like one. Would you still be thinking that she is secretely a player or a conceited b...ch? I'm just trying to understand how guys think. There is this guy I like and I want him to ask me out but there are other people in the way.

[Tukindz]

Why are there other people in the way? Meaning: why do you allow so many men to be around you?

It sets off alarm bells when a girl is surrounded by guy "friends" (especially if they aren't all in the same social circle). Either she's slept with quite a few of them or she's an attention seeker. it's very rare to meet an attractive girl with lots of guys friends that she isn't either leading on or at least f*cked/dated.

Which makes them orbiters, and orbiters are just a pain in the ass. Too much drama, too much other BS. I'd definitely be discouraged. She'd have to be REALLY SPECIAL to me for me to give it a shot.

[Asker]

These guys are mostly my classmates in college and yes I know they like me and I've made it clear that I'm not interested in any of them. I have to complete assignments with them or sometimes even study with them, so I can't just tell them to f... off but I don't want the guy that I like to get the wrong impression. Just because many guys like me (not conceited just saying) it doesn't mean that I'm a slut. I dress properly as well ...

would you think of me as you did when you first replied?

[Tukindz]

It's not about dressing properly that makes a girl a slut. It's how many & how frequently/quickly you've slept with the guys you know that does. I'd generally still be very uncertain about dating a girls that hovers around the same guys that she KNOWS are attracted to her.

It's still a red flag.

What is your history with all the guys anyway (because trust me, if you have any history with any of them, your crush probably knows).

[Asker]

I haven't dated any of them. There is only one guy who I have dated once in the past but I don't hang out with him, I'm avoiding him and It just was just a date and it was way before I knew my crush. I went to the movies with him and nothing sexual happend, after that I ignored his messages (lame I know)

Besides, I don't sleep around with guys and I have only had 1 boyfriend in the past.

Btw, can I guy tell another guy that he has slept with me even if he didn't ?

[bond_007]

guys in general fear rejection when the girl they're interested in is for example sitting alone so how about if she's surrounded by other guys,

personally I would be discouraged, however if she showed interest in me even when other guys are around her like for instance if she looked at me and we made eye contact while others are around her I would still think about approaching her, cause that would make me feel that she's preferring me over them

[Asker]

Your answer gives me a lot of hope. I've been doing the very same things you have described in your comment (eye contact, smiling, looking). I'm aware now that being around other guys can scare off the one that I truly like, so I will remove myself from that situation. Thank you for your reply, Mr Bond!

[bond_007]

i'm glad that my answer gave you hope, and being less around guys is even better for your special one :)

[Oreodere]

The people who get in the way are known as cockblockers... Unfortunately, you cannot stop them from behaving that way. Your choices are to ignore them and tell them to back off or get you and your special someone to talk one on one. I'm sorry you have to go through all that.

[Anonymous]

The guys I know get discouraged when there are too many guys hovering around a girl. They just assume they'd be rejected.

[Asker]

which sucks big time :(

[Opinion Owner]

Indeed.

[sinful1620]

Discourage. It'd probably make me feel like a) my attention isn't good enough for her, and b) if we ever fight, she'll cheat on me because it'd be so easy

[Asker]

why do guys think like this :(

thx for your answer though ...

[sinful1620]

Girls don't get attention from a lot of guys without encouraging it. I'm sure that tons of girls who are in this situation THINK they don't encourage it, but they do.

[Asker]

I'm just being friendly (not wanting to hurt someones feelings) just being nice in general. I guess that doesn't work for me, so I'll start ignoring people that I don't like making very very clear that there is someone else that has captured my attention and hopefully this will bring me some luck :S

[jimmy217]

yea that would keep me from approaching her unless she showed more interest in me then the other guys. Why not ask him out instead of waiting on him?

[Asker]

I want to ask him out, it's just I don't want to come off as desperate :P you never know what guys think of you, but maybe I'll just go up to him don't know :S

[jimmy217]

he sees other guys hitting on you and knows you have options. Just go for it

[Asker]

Thank you for your advice! I'll see what I can do :)

[TJWolfe]

Majorly discouraging

[Asker]

ok :( so basicly I have to remove these guys out of my way ...

thx for the reply

[TJWolfe]

no prob, its just when guys see a girl interacting with a girl and have a crush or something they instantly assume your flirting with them.