Broke up with boyfriend because he stayed out all night.. Was I wrong?

[pishposh85]

For the past month, there have been 3 times where my boyfriend has stayed out all night. He doesn't text, he doesn't call. He just comes in the house around 10 or 11am the next day. When we initially moved together, him staying out all night was a problem. He apologized and hasn't done it for a while. Now, he's started again. The first time it happened this month, I didn't make a big deal because it wasn't a regular thing. This last time he's done it, I ended the relationship. He just keeps apologizing and nothing ever changes. When I asked him how he would feel if every time I went out with my friends, he didn't know if I would come back home that night. Of course he stated that he would be pissed, and blah blah blah. I have stayed and helped him with his drinking issues. I have compromised with him through all the times he stayed out all night last year, and I'm tired. I feel like he is disrespecting me, our home, and this relationship. I don't ask much from him, and even me asking this is too much.

I'm sad and feel like just balling up in the covers listening to sad songs and crying myself to sleep. No, I don't want to be without him but I have to have respect for myself, and I demand respect from someone whom I have always respected. Was I wrong?

[trainer]

I broke up with my boyfriend because he stayed out all night. Was I wrong?

It's a question that many people ask themselves after a break-up. Was I wrong to break up with my boyfriend because he stayed out all night?

There is no easy answer to this question. It depends on a lot of factors, including the circumstances surrounding the break-up, the relationship dynamic between you and your ex-boyfriend, and your own personal values.

If you're wondering whether or not you made the right decision to break up with your boyfriend, ask yourself the following questions:

1. Was he staying out all night a regular occurrence?

If your boyfriend was staying out all night on a regular basis, then it's understandable why you would want to break up with him. If this was a one-time thing, however, you may want to give him another chance.

2. Was he honest with you about where he was going and what he was doing?

If your boyfriend lied to you about where he was going and what he was doing, that's a red flag. If he was honest with you, however, it shows that he's trustworthy.

3. Did he have a good reason for staying out all night?

If your boyfriend had a good reason for staying out all night (e. g. he was working late or taking care of a sick friend), then you may want to give him another chance.

4. How did you feel when he stayed out all night?

If you felt anxious, worried, or insecure when your boyfriend stayed out all night, then it's understandable why you would want to break up with him. If you felt safe and secure, however, it may be worth giving him another chance.

5. What are your personal values?

Your personal values will play a big role in whether or not you think breaking up with your boyfriend was the right decision. If you value honesty and trustworthiness, for example, and your boyfriend lied to you about where he was going, then you probably made the right decision to break up with him.

Only you can answer the question, "Was I wrong to break up with my boyfriend because he stayed out all night?" Consider the factors mentioned above and make a decision that feels right for you.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

You're never wrong when you decide to end a relationship with someone you feel isn't honoring or respecting you and is unwilling to change after you've aired your desires.

[MorbidPrincess94]

No, you did the right thing. How can he go out and come back only in the morning? He has some responsibilities towards you and towards your relationship. Who knows where he was all night long. You can't keep suffering because of his silly mistakes. What's the purpose of being sorry about something that he did when he is going to do it again. They better not say sorry. If my boyfriend would do this to me, I would have left him too. Don't feel upset, you took the right decision.

[Jenniloves]

No, not at all.. He needs to know its not okay and you don't accept that. And you have talked to him and given many chances but he obviously don't care what you want or not. I know you feel sad because you wish things were different but don't give in if you are not happy with what he is doing. After all is his Loss not yours. Let him realize that..

[OlderAndWiser]

You are not wrng for breaking up with im, but you need to recignize that most of your pain has been self-inflicted. He is an alcoholic and you knew that early in the relationship, right? And he did other things that established that he would not be dependable as a companion, and you stayed with him. And he did this staying-out-all-night routine before and you stayed with him.

I'm not preaching down to you, because I have made a similar mistake in the past. I know how easy it is to do this. But make sure that this break up is final. Block him on your phone and on all social media. If he tries to contact you any other way, ask him to stop it and tell him that you will get an injunction against him if he continues to try to talk to you. Make this break a 100% total break with no contact whatsoever, because the only point of staying in contact is reuniting for one more round of the same torture.

[Guy13]

Good move as far as I am concerned as I would not put up with that. Joint physical and STD exchanged before I got touched again...

[Anonymous]

If this was a trust issue; i. e. you thought he was cheating on you then ok fine.

But that doesn't seem to be it, this guy goes out sometimes and gets drunk with friends.

I actually don't consider that to be a big deal, usually when people get pissed off about their partner being off doing something without them its because they dont have a life of their own or are unable to entertain themselves and then resent their partner for not babysitting them.

Maybe you are simply incompatible people and its all for the best but you haven't made any other complaints.

The was a thread the other day about womens clothes and 100% of the women said they would instantly shit can any man at the first sign of him having an opinion about what they were wearing.

This guy isn't allowed to see his friends essentially and the guy is getting shit canned for that even. Perhaps its too frequent, perhaps he isn't spending quality time with his partner?

Apparently I am the only one who thinks this is absurd.

[Sour-rose]

"Actions speak louder than words"
I have no example I can pull out of my bum but- oh wait, I run a small business. Running puzzle pieces but I have made money with it, my mom calls bullshi because I had one client but I'm getting paid. She still call it a scam for trying to learn more. But the thing is, I did the thing instead of just saying I'm gonna do that thing.
So if this guy doesn't understand that you don't like what he's doing and he keeps apologizing and shi, he's not getting it. So breaking up with him is most likely the only way he'll get that you ain't fukin' around.

[sheikalana]

I think you have all the right to be mad at him. It's okay for him to go out and have fun but it's very disrespectful of him to stay out all night without notifying you when you live together. I would be so worried if my husband did that to me. Maybe the break up is going to teach him a lesson but if he really wants to save this relationship he needs to prove he's genuinely regretful of what he did.

[bamesjond0069]

Thats ridiculous! Lets even assume the worst and he's cheating... WHY THE FUCK doesn't HE AT LEAST TEXT A LAME EXCUSE? he's got to be the biggest retard I've ever heard of. You should have dumped him long ago if he's done this a bunch of times. He is clearly disrespectful in like the rudest way possible. He might as well just shit on the floor every morning for you to clean up. Good riddance.

[Anonymous]

You’re not the boss of him. You’re not. I know you think you should be, and you try to cover it up by saying he doesn’t respect the relationship or you. Bullshit. You want to tell him when to come home. What’s next, are you going to tell him when he can go out?

[Sasha0426]

Ok, then hopefully he gets arrested or is dead in a ditch somewhere with his asscheeks exposed.

[Anonymous]

Well most likely cheating or not doing good things so you probably should have done it a long time ago. I learned the hard way my girlfriend going out all night my worst fears were true. If your gut is telling you he’s not being faithful you are most likely you’re right.

[Chumblyf]

Talk is cheap. Saying sorry is automatic and pre programmed. He knew that it bothered you for him to stay out all night which by itself isn’t the biggest issue, it’s the lack of respect and decency to call or text to let you know he isn’t coming home. Drunk driving is worse but you have done nothing wrong.

[OfMiceandMen]

Not at all. You can't keep putting up with his issues while he does nothing to improve upon them.

I think you did what you had to.

[katiesmuff]

Without having some logical reason for this action, breaking up would be my course of action as well.

[courtney06]

I don't blame you. That would upset me too. Doesn't sound like he is taking the relationship or his sobriety seriously.

[CuriousMufuxka]

From what I've read and interpreted, you have finally put your foot down but softly. He knows you're weak and gives rarely a fuck besides a bullshit apology every now and then. Either deal with the same treatment or find another dude.

[Iron_Man]

11 AM that’s past late that’s the next day. What could he possibly be doing to come home the next day? He certainly didn’t go on a fishing trip in the ocean

[msc545]

If he was cheating on you, you did the right thing. If he was passed out drunk somewhere, he needs help. AA is great, and for you, Alanon is very helpful as well.

[easybrezzybeautiful]

I mean I understand where you are coming from, but if you let him slide the first time, how many times did he do it last year? And where actually was he

[Shy_Steve]

I definitely don't think your wrong, A lot of Girls have broken up with a Guy for a lot less.

[RuthlessAggression]

Very wrong. His life, is not yours. You don't control men

[Samwoman]

You got out just in time unless this is the type of relationship you want.

[Anonymous]

Yeah you did, it's his life, he can go out abd have fun without your jealousy.