Girls why do you reject/friendzone us then get jealous when we talk to other girls or get a girlfriend?

Question

Its like we have feelings for you, you dont want to date or be in a relationship with us, so we accept that and move on. But some women get annoyed when the guy gets involved with someone else. So you want him to not be with you, but not be with anyone else either? Whats the reason behind this, if you are jealous and like him, why friendzone him? My example is a girl who friendzoned me, but if im talking to a group of girls she runs up and stands next to me and immediately joins the conversation, or if I say I've been out she always asks who I was with and if there's a message on my phone from a girl she wants to know who she is.

Girls why do you reject/friendzone us then get jealous when we talk to other girls or get a girlfriend?

Updates

+1 y

Are you keeping us on the backburner for when your other dates or relationships dont work out?
Do you secretly like us?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

What I've learned (and women will never admit to this) is that the friendzone is the place girls put guys they like but aren't sure they can be in a relationship with. It's the testing pool. There's just something about him that says no. In an ideal world all guys would be friend zoned until she gets to decide unfortunately many guys will leave before getting friend zoned and this causes girls to panic and make the premature decision to enter into a relationship. Which many later regret and try the whole let's breakup and just be friends move. The only reason I say this is because I have a lot of female friends. Many of which are now married and the difference between me and there SOs are obvious. Our traits are always extremely identical minus one or two very important differences. Simply put Guys pick women choose. My female friends get insanely jealous when I flirt with other women around them. So why not just date me? Because they're still not sure but they don't like the thought of me leaving for another girl either. As a guy friend you're not the back up date or the side guy your just in a different phase of being tested. When she runs through boyfriends those are the guys that may sexually excite her but don't make her feel secure and as a result they date for a month or two and leave. The friend appeals to her need for security and intimacy but he's just not sexy enough or in my case doesn't seem that sexually interested in them. There's no passion. Girls (and guys) need 3 things for a successful relationship commitment intimacy and passion. And like I said before guy friends usually lack passion. Either she thinks your not attracted to her or she knows she's not attracted to you. High passion no commitment no intimacy=one night stand. High passion high commitment no intimacy=empty relationship. No passion no intimacy high commitment=stalker. High passion no commitment high intimacy=most boyfriends. High intimacy high commitment no passion= friendzone.

johnmspaghetti · Accepted Answer

I see this has already been answered to exhaustion, and mine is pretty much the same, but with a visual representation.

So, below (I think, first time using an image) (also never mind the politicalness) is basically how girls like to use the friend zone, conscious of it or not. Keeping you at arms length. Not to close that she'll make you her boyfriend, but close enough that she resents you trying to find something else that might end up being real. Its logical to keep a harem of prospects, seeing it from their perspective. But its pretty messed up from ours; denying his advances is one thing, certainly your right, but killing his chances of happiness with anyone else too?

I read that one answerer here did it to play 'hard to get', to see if the guy would fight for her. Trick is, you gotta give /some/ indication that you do have interest, that he's not trying to woo a brick wall. Ladies, of course he would want to find someone who demonstrates they're more receptive to his love.

So asker you have a couple options. You can, as another answerer suggested, fight harder for that brick wall, see where that gets you. Or, you can ask her very kindly to stay the fck out of your business. I get she's a friend but a friend doesn't keep you under her heel and foil you at every turn. I dunno, up to you.

Serah8675309 · Accepted Answer

I've done this to a couple guys before and when I first rejected them I was expecting them to keep fighting for me but they just gave up almost instantly. I liked playing hard to get but he would move on and in reality I actually liked him. So she probably likes you and wants you to put your attention towards her and keep chasing her. Either that or she's the kind of girl that needs constant attention from men. But I would say you should either start chasing after her again or confront her but in a nice way that might get her to open up to you

XRabbitHeartX · Accepted Answer

Two reasons that comes to mind

*Girl has a jealous personality type and/or attention seeking personality. When the attention and chase is no longer on her, she gets uspet that all the attention and focus is not on her. Everyone likes feeling wanted and for some this is a obsessive thing and when they don't feel wanted - they act out.

*Girl may have "grass is greener" syndrome where now that she has rejected the guy, she suddenly second guesses her decision and is conflicted about what happened and the outcome of it.

Anonymous · Answer

Two reasons:

A) You date the wrong girls.
B) Many girls in our time a mostly egoistic.

That girl wants to have you as a an option to fall back too.

Unless you really want her as a friend ask her the following:

Do you want to be my girl friend?

If she says anything other yes say this:

Then fuck off and get out of my life, don't waste my time.

Then turn around and walk away, don't look back. She will either run after you, because you just showed manly attitude or she is hurt and your time not worth to begin with.

Careful this is basically an ultimatum, if you want to be just friends with her you will lose her this way.

Generally stop watching the lies of the media, they tell you women are more than men, they are not. If a woman treats you with disrespect, call her on her bad behaviour. You are the guy, find your principles you want to follow in your life and stick to them like iron. Any girl who wants to be with you should follow those rules, if not leave her behind.

FinalVow · Answer

Seems to be a way to see if you will chase/not sure about you. Problem is that unlike most women most guys have no interest in playing games. if you play hard to get he will 100% move on minutes later because most guys don't have time for that shit. I have had 1 female friend who tried this and I stopped it real fast. she got jealous I was talking to another woman not even flirting I can't flirt to save my life. I was talking to her about a personal project I was doing because she asked what hobbies I had. She tried to insert herself and I said excuse me a moment and dragged her out of earshot and said "You turned me down you have no right to get jealous if I go talk to another woman unless you are trying to say you made a mistake and if that is the case I better hear those words come out of your mouth in the next 5 seconds I don't have time for games or I am going back to talk to her because she at least was genuinely interested in what I was talking about and was adding input." We are still friends but she has brought up several times how she may have made a mistake. Oh well should have thought of that before turning me down. If I approach someone for a romantic relationship and they shoot me down that is that they aren't interested so I move on

Theguyoverthere · Answer

It's a control issue for girls. This ranges from initial attraction to a relationship itself.

I've seen some girls go as extreme as to flip out if their boyfriend had the lightest conversation with another girl.

As for your situation, she is probably another girl like the many out there who expected you to "keep trying" and since you have common sense and are going for a real mutual attraction, you're trying things with other girls and she's seeing that you're not obsessing over her and getting mad.

Anonymous · Answer

Because they want to keep you around as an option. If you get involved with someone, you are no longer an option. It truly sucks and have been through it and seen it happen to other more often than I would like to admit.

The most recent one I went through.. she tried to give me a million reasons to break up with this woman. When I challenged every single one of her reasons, she stopped and started in with the "I love yous". Once upon a time I would have done anything to hear those words from her.. now they are worthless words.

HairyDumpling · Answer

I think it's because people want things they can't have. I think we can all agree that girls would want a guy with a lot of value. Basically a guy that offers a lot. I'd say when girls friendzone a guy, they either don't see that value right away or believe that they can date the guy at anytime so they don't feel any pressure or need to pursue the guy. Once the guy starts flirting with other girls or gets a girlfriend, the fact that someone else values the guy adds to their own perception that the guy has value and thus makes him more desirable. That coupled with the fact that the guy may be out of her reach now that he's taken probably makes the girl feel like she's lost something important and thus want to pursue him.

JayParris · Answer

Lol. You don't realise that what you're describing is exactly how you climb OUT of the friendzone you put yourself in. Lack of self esteem or being in demand is why you allow yourself to be available to someone who doesn't like you romantically. If you don't value yourself, and no other women do either, then why should she? The simple act of saying "sorry. I can't make time. I have a date." instantly changes your status.

Stop caring so much for people who couldn't care less about you, and look out for yourself first.

Mikey_Ramone · Answer

Yeah when I chased this blonde girl she kept talking me down out of flirting her like that talking about age gap and her failed marriages blab blah. But when I told her I had a new girl in my sight and we were dating then she started to act wild getting jealous didn't want to communicate with the girl I liked - a brunette chick. When it comes to competitive minds the claws will come out for women. At least that's what I can see. Now I blocked all of them because they kept talking about me negatively as if I was the one causing the drama. Lol

navychick2006 · Answer

It's nice to know that somebody likes you that much, even if you don't really feel the same about them. Some girls don't realize how much it hurts to be on the receiving end of this behavior, some do and do it anyway for attention, and some legitimately don't realize how much they like you until they lose you (this happens to us with guys too).

Marinepilot · Answer

Women do this because they're terrified not to have a beta Momma's boy fag orbiter. By talking to other girls you're
letting her know you have options and an abundance mentality,
Bravo ! If she persist in in trying to cock block you say, "Look

toots, what gives? You say you want to be just friends. Yet you act jealous henever I talk to other girls? You ain't having your cake and eating too. Do you want to date or not? If not leave me alone to pursue my own happiness". Most women who friend zone are attention whores. She's panic stricken you won't be her Plan B. You're above that,

ShirleyG · Answer

Guys do this too not just girls.
The reason is that they dont like oyu enough to date you but they like the attention they get from you. So when you go off and give that attention to someone else it drives girls/guys crazy. men do this to me too. just move on and tell her to find someone else to fill that void.

MaskedSanity · Answer

Some girls just have very huge, but fragile egos. They require validation of their existence in the form of male attention, even if they're into someone else and/or taken.

Though what you have described just sounds like curiosity, nothing else. I'm always nosy about my friends' dating lives.

Being curious =/= cockblocking.

winniethepoah · Answer

I've done this before. I've friend zoned a guy or showed disinterest but then when he stops showering me with affection I get offended... I guess we like the attention even if we don't want to pursue a relationship. Nobody's perfect. We probably shouldn't do it but we do. Sometimes we like to feel wanted at the expense of others...

JennyDarling · Answer

I think a lot of girls just like the attention. It's pleasing to know that there's someone who still likes us even though we don't return the favor, and if that person moves on, then it's a blow to their self-esteem. They want everything, even if it's selfish

3va11 · Answer

because you were her back up. that I've done all my party and drug life now lets settle and have kids. if your not her first choice tell her she's a dumb cunt for wanting to blur your friendship. throw it back at her that by acting that way she's not being a good friend let her stew dont apologize if she can't get over it erase her number if she can and does become just a friend then its no longer friend zone its "bros" zone

horsegirl500 · Answer

I was like that with a boy but I really did like him and we had a really close relationship like so close that no one could break it. But I saw him making out with a my bestfriend so yea I was really jealous. It's all because girls just dont want that one boy they really like to fall in love with someone else and just ditch that girl they had a really good relationship with. Maybe some girl just dont want other people to see her with that boy because of whatever reasons. That's just how girls can be, there are some girls that are the jealous type.

ineedhelpasap111 · Answer

She probably does like you and might not be ready for any kind of relationship yet. You may have been coming off a little to strong and it could have made her nervous. I would ask her for her honest truth as to why she acts like this all of the sudden.

RobLovesDemi19771992 · Answer

Dude do you hear yourself right now you sound like a fucking pussy. If the bitch is friendzoning you, you give her the finger (yes actually tell her to go fuck herself I've done this to a few) and move on. Make the women chase you not the other way around. Dont act like a little bitch around her grow some balls give her the finger (yes actually do it) and move on and wait and see how she reacts. At first she might argue with you but stand your ground and dog her until you get so fed up you block her and dont talk to her then wait and see she will come running to you or even stalk you at that point

whyisitso · Answer

It's because they want to get to know you and whether your relationship would be possible. They like you, but they don't want to hesitate. And when you start to date another girl they see you didn't want to make the effort, they will be disappointed and jealous, because they could have been that girl.

Fhamator · Answer

Its simple, girls want what they can't have , for exemple if she can get you to go out with her or talk to her anytime she wants she will definitly lose interest , BUT if your unavailable busy or just in a relationship she will try to get you all you have to do is play hard to get.

Stella___ · Answer

People get jealous all the time because of ego. I do get spontaneously jealous when my guy friends, whom I know had an interest in me, get a girlfriend. But then I think that it is selfish of me and they deserve to be happy, since I don't intend to be with them. And then I'm happy for them. Most don't think much of it though. In your particular case though, it is may not be because of ego, but because of interest. Search it more or/and ask her.

Zilkk · Answer

Never settle for being someones 2nd option, but if she's getting jealous of you with other girls, and you think your friendzoned?
I guess I'd have to ask if you've ever tried taking to her about being more than friends, or ever tried making a move or just showing her that you want more than friendship

stevemeh · Answer

Friendzone means you keep certain guys at a diatance then tell them about how you screwed around with other guys and watch em leave the friendzone and put you in the fuckoffzone.

Yes it will suck and you might get a bit jealous when a better women cozies up the man you hurt but you gotta learn to just fuck off. Fucking off and never letting him see you again after you hurt him would be better for him since he won't waste his precious time and energy on you ladies who friendzone guys a lot.

Prof_Don · Answer

Because they implicitly want u as an option B or as a source of ego boosting attention... stupid I know.

But this is truth.

This makes me wonder... as insecure as so many of these females are, it is completely asinine for ME to somehow AFRAID of females in general. :-P

Anonymous · Answer

Usually, at first we put you in the friend zone simply cause we don’t like you guys like that AT FIRST. But then once you’re out in the friend zone we then start to see all the cute, sweet & nice things you do for us so we start catching feelings, then when we see u talking w someone else that’s what gets us upset.

Maebo · Answer

If she doesn't like you romantically and she does friendzone you Its because she likes you for who you are and wants you in her life. Living someone is simplistisch not always good enough ro develop more feelings. If we would fall in love with every awesome guy, it would be madness.

She gets jealous bc other women may come between your bond and may take your friendship away for life

Anonymous · Answer

It's following your mixed signals.. "I like her but I don't wanna keep pursuing her" because of the fear of seeming needy. Her thoughts are... well he's unsure so maybe we shouldn't : equals rejection... Then we see you all buddy buddy with another chic and we are stuck like WTF Happen to us... He couldn't pursue me but he's talking and laughing and flirting with her. :(

Anonymous · Answer

Because girls are like little kids when they see a toy they might play with it a little then get tired of it they throw to the side but when another little kid starts to play with it a little bit then they have a fit it's part of human nature some want what they can't have.

Asad1ONE1 · Answer

What's the opposite of friend zone? Relationship zone? Any guy or girl can friend zone a person of the opposite gender whether they like them or not. Everyone has their own reasons. Besides, I wouldn't get into a serious or intimate relationship with a girl I didn't even know yet.

LittleRedKat · Answer

My bff did that one time. She friend zoned a guy multiple times and then when the guy hit on me she got mad. She had no right to get mad since she friend zoned him. I realized later on that it's just because she's insecure.

Astraea · Answer

I'm afraid of getting close so I push them away. Doesn't mean I'm not going to be sad or possibly slightly jealous if they are with someone else later... I don't feel I have a claim on him, it's my own fault.

KBob93 · Answer

Yes we do secretly like you guys; we just don't realize we do until you guys are talking to other women. Then we beat ourselves up for it.

Ethicals · Answer

Some girls do it to play hard to get, which in some cases is basically trying to get a guy to prove that he's worthy of your love. Some will even do it just for the attention and they can't help but become overly jealous of you paying attention to other girls because you're no longer giving them the attention they want. Those are the types of girls you may want to steer clear of

HoustonGirl · Answer

I do it because most times I don't like the guy that way. But I wouldn't get jealous of him being with other girls because i don't like him. It seems like the girl you like is confused, about her feelings for you. Try and talk to her about how you feel one more time and see how she reacts.

lilaqua · Answer

I've never done this. If I like you and you like me, i'm going to pursue that. If I don't like you I don't care what you do with your life.

Kissanity · Answer

Think of it this way.. you are in a relationship. A one sided one. She gets everything she wants from you; yet, you feel this void where your needs haven't been met. You then make the decision to dump her, and she immediately enters a panic state because all of those needs he met may no longer be met, and she just can't handle the thought of losing you. I can think of no better person to break up with. End that relationship and find someone who can meet your needs as well as you meet theirs.

NathanStrat · Answer

They dont want you, but their ego doesn't want you to want anyone else, but them. Its pathetic. As if their soooo great you should stay single waiting on them to never come around.

Lynzerilee · Answer

Immaturity and ego. They don't know what they want, nor would they accept that you find a "better person".

CypherV · Answer

If a girl rejects you, she has no right to be upset when your pursue someone else. It's her loss and is something she has to deal with.

FrozenPancake · Answer

Lool you girls keep manipulating and testing man.. a real dude won't stick up for this bullshit cause how you gone trust someone who picking and choosing? Nope.. i'd rather be with a girl who knows what she wants rather than wasting my time and my feelings

depeche2015 · Answer

if you did that as soon as she friend zoned she probably thinks you played her. if you did it after awhile then she's just jealous that you don't like her anymore.

dragonfly6516 · Answer

They're jealous of you being happy when they can't have the men that they want.

sakalator · Answer

Oh God this is so typicall of women 😂😂 please just make your mind girls 😀 you're really making it hard for us then..

Anonymous · Answer

This happened to me a while back, with a girl I loved. She told me she didn’t want to hear whether I got with anyone else. She got really uptight when she found out I was...

She left me so fucking confused. I loved her so much - I put my neck on the line, I was honest with her, I was smitten and I had never felt and still haven’t felt like it ever before.

It’s been 5 years since I cut her out of my life. I regret it every single day. I know it’s too late.

Anonymous · Answer

OH HELL NAW. If a girl friendzones me but gets jealous and then proceeds to fuck another dude and have a relationship with them, im fucking done. I hate that shit with a burning passion. Like honestly any girl/woman who does that shit is a disgusting human being idgaf what anyone says.

Anonymous · Answer

The faster you dump a girl that has put you in friend zone the better, last time I stayed too long in the friend zone with a girl and up to this date she's still stalking me and doing that kind of shit, is so fucking annoying, I want her to go away, if you didn't want me back then, let me alone now that I have a girlfriend.

ThatPersonOverThere · Answer

Some women literally are just attention whores. They will strong you along just because it feels good to have somebody show interest in them.

loveyourself0606 · Answer

Maybe we are just trying to figure out our own feelings for you, and we are confused. Ever think about that?

Anonymous · Answer

I didn't realize that was a thing. With guys I've friendzoned in the past I usually help them get a girlfriend so they get over me.

Lukeyboy95 · Answer

I have the exact same situation the girl who friendzoned me even resorted to checking up the girl I was chilling withs instagram like wait why does she care

Anonymous · Answer

Bcoz they only go for looks, not personality or anything else. Tell her to mind her own goddamn business, next time she interferes.

MissyBB · Answer

I don't know this type of woman. I'm usually happy he found someone.

Dzokson00 · Answer

Because only then they realize that you are the one but its too late ;)

Legendary_Shark · Answer

Lol who does that other than girls in movies and serials who are destined as per the script to end up being with their friendzoned friends 😂😂

hotdogliquid · Answer

She must have done it when she doesn't like you and since you acknowledge that you like her she must have thought of it

Anonymous · Answer

They like the attention and feel bad when you don't give it to them anymore

Anonymous · Answer

3 possible options. 2 that rabbit heart already stated, but also she may like him but realise that it can’t be for whatever reason.

JesseTheMan · Answer

Thpse kinds of girls are immoral trash and just want attention...

jacquesvol · Answer

If shegets jealous, you're the reserve guy. In case her <3 fails to say yes.

Kiels01 · Answer

Because you aren't good enough to be their boyfriend but they still want to be your number 1 girl.

Jasmine_IV · Answer

We are hurt because we are rejected and get jelous of the other girl you do like.

Girls why do you reject/friendzone us then get jealous when we talk to other girls or get a girlfriend?

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Why do girls reject you then try to make you jealous?

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