Someone who is confident enough to be free to express who they are in public and private without worrying about judgement.
Wanting a girl to be a certain way in public is too controlling, it’s up to her, if she wants to wear a mini dress, crop top or long skirt n cardigan, it’s her choice.
Equally the sexual aspect is about trust, respect, her comfortable and safe enough to play how she wants to and to be confident when she says no, it’s taken as a NO.
A lot comes down to mutual respect for each other backed up with honesty, communication and trust.
For example with my ex girlfriend, we could go to a business function or an RAF mess function, I knew she would be perfectly turned out for whatever we were going to, I did not need to say, we had mutual respect and I could trust her decisions.
Equally we could be going to a fetish event at say Torture Garden and would be on the London Tube fully dressed up (maybe a long coat on her).
Our outside clothing would be far more extreme as to what we wore at home.
It’s a mix of mutual respect, knowing and understanding a level of decorum and a sense of when things are appropriate or not.
for example, An officers mess Tarts n tramps or Devils and Angels fancy dress would not be the same as a fetish / BDSM club event of the same theme, it’s about what is appropriate and sense of decorum for each event.
it’s not just clothing, it’s also our standards we follow, acceptable conversation etc.
Yes, that's what most men want. To put it another way, we want a girl who isn't drawing extra attention from other men (and from other women to some extent), because we don't want to always be worrying about other guys trying to get with her. But we want her to be uninhibited at home in private with us.
This isn't anything new - you can read references to this in books from 300 years ago.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I'm the anon Laurie is referring to. I talked to a nice girl today, and she said there are certain things her boyfriend doesn't like her to wear. But I just assumed she meant in public. I was flabbergasted when she said she was also talking about the privacy of her home. Wow, that really threw me for a loop. I've never heard of that.
So Laurie graciously offered to ask the question. I would have asked it, but I'm really low in Internet ink. I'm going to Best Buy tomorrow to get some. I'm looking forward to see what you guys think.
I know that most guys here frown on sluts, but does this hold true if she's your own private slut?
My wife was a slut in college and when I met her. We had an agreement and we've had a solid marriage these last 19 years. "Lady in the parlor, chef in the kitchen, whore in the bedroom." That's an old quote
That's the best quote of them all. When I first talked to Laurie about it, I thought the saying was "slut" in the sheets. But when I went looking for examples, all I could find was "freak." Freak? That's it? My cat's a freak! I'll check out your post and make a comment. Thanks for your reply. When I get there I'll tell you a brief story a guy told me.
"Both, she's just gotta know when each is appropriate. So does he. Reciprocation is good.
I've heard "Lady in the parlor, chef in the kitchen, whore in the bedroom." That's from the 19th century. Recently I've heard another about men: A gentleman knows when not to be gentle.
In a healthy relationship you need to read your partner and try to meet their needs. Neither one is a mind reader so communication is always critical." This is my response to the post from last year. The link is working for me.
I like consistency so I prefer a lady on the streets and a lady in the sheets or a freak on the streets and a freak in the sheets.
What I don't like are the inconsistent types who change personalities in the bedroom, like a freak on the streets and a lady in the sheets, or a lady on the streets and a freak in the streets.
They give me a feeling when things heat up like, "Who are you and what did you do with the woman I was dating and starting to like so much? I miss her."
For me I'm looking for someone who j can love and share my life with. I don't think she needs to be those things. She just needs to be her tho there are qualities that I do think are ideal in a partner. And well having somoen who you can share that loving intimacy with and make love to in the bedroom would be amazing. No one needs to be a freak in the sheets so to speak. I'd guess I'm a lot more vanilla but open to some things and experimenting and just open and honest communication.
I know this isn't really in line with the answers your looking for but I hope it helps.
Simply said: Yes. In my perfect world others see my woman and would want her, but only I get to have her. However I like. Of course, this is in the realm of a loving and respectful relationship.
If a girl acted proper around other people but only acted a certain way around me, I would see it as: she trusts me and thinks I'm special and she loves me.
I don't know about freak but she certainly can be more naughty in the bed and not be afraid to show that she wants sex. But lie it says it should be special treatment for him, not for everyone.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
No, it's not true for me. I want a slut for cum dumping, but a reserved woman for committed relationships.
A slut learns to be that way by being a slut for many other men before you, I'm not putting a ring on that kind of a woman, monogamy is gonna cost you.
There are lots of freaky women in the sheets. The problem is finding a real "lady" these days. Good thing you're here, Laurie!! Obviously, lots of women say the same thing about finding a real man!
It is a girl who has a nice average homemaker type personality during everyday life around her relatives and peers but when she is in the bedroom having sex with you anything goes. She loves any and all types of sex that you want and screams when she orgasms. That makes no sense?
I don't see it. I am married to one like that, and most of people i know their wives are extra in the bedroom. But! In my case i have been with one woman so far, church, shy, respectful, calm and no one would think she is the kind of freak in the bedroom. So i don't know more than this
For the most part, I think everyone wants to feel desired and trusted. If she's a lady, than you can trust her (in theory). If she's a freak in the sheets she desires you ( in theory).
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