Guys want a submissive girlfriend. Do you find this statement to be true about most guys?

[Filif]

I've never been able to understand most other guys tastes in girls. In this case it's how so many guys date submissive women. I've always preferred a stronger more independent women and don't understand the appeal of a girl like that.

I was wondering if I was the only one who thought this was happening a lot, and was hoping someone could try to explain to me why.

Updates

+1 y

By submissive, I mean she makes few to no decisions in the relationship.

[Anonymous]

i think people have different definitions of submissive. to me submissive means that I let the guy take control a little bit. doesn't mean I can't have an opinion but I just let him feel like a man, I don't wear the pants. I kind of like being submissive even though I am a very opinionated girl. and from what I find men don't like overly controlling women.

i am dating an older guy and I am definitely submissive in the relationship but as long as he doesn't hurt me and treat me like a piece of crap I don't care. I am a bit old fashioned like that. he listens to my opinions and doesn't invalidate them. I just let him pick where we go for dates even though sometimes he asks me, I don't argue with him just to "get my way", I don't nag or try to control him. I treat him with respect and listen to his opinions and if I don't agree I state it in a polite way. I think a lot of times people confuse submissive with weak. to me it means not being overly argumentative or stubborn. I am drawn to a strong man though.

[Anonymous]

I see it happening also. I'm not very submissive, though. Nor is my boyfriend. If you want to see two alphas in a relationship, look at mine. I think for myself, do things on my own, don't need him for me to be happy. Granted, he certainly helps me be happy, but if he left, I wouldn't be dead forever like lots of girls. We butt heads a lot and argue sometimes. I tell him exactly what's on my mind and if he doesn't like it, he'll either say something or leave. I'm the dominant one among my friends, also. Both male and female. I'm not bossy or anything, but you can tell there's a great deal more respect toward me from my male friends than they have toward the other girls. Mostly because I can handle myself and the other girls just back down. I guess guys like submissive girls because they make them "feel like a man" and the relationship goes smoother if one is submissive and the other is in charge. I tried being submissive once...I ended up breaking the guy's nose. Oops.

[Filif]

I have to know the story about breaking the guys nose.

[Opinion Owner]

I let him make the decisions in the relationship and he decided that I wasn't allowed to talk to other guys and that when I did, I got to get hit. I asked one of our guy friends a question about a math problem (this was in 9th grade) and my then boyfriend yelled at me and tried to choke me, so I slammed my palm up into his nose. We were done then. Haha

[Filif]

If you see him again, could you slug him again for me. :D

[crookthings]

I don't think I've ever dated a super dominant, decisive guy, let alone a guy who wants me to want him to make MY decisions, and that's out of four pretty serious relationships. Then again, I've never been attracted to aggression :P

I (and the guys I date) might be a minority, I don't know.

[DodgersGM]

I like submissive in the bedroom and pretty damn close to fifty-fifty everywhere else. There's some people that enjoy the dominant-submissive dynamic to bleed into other areas of their relationship, and that's not really for me; I'm more the type that likes making decisions as a couple.

Of course, there will be times where I can take more of a leadership type role (that's phrased a little oddly, but I think you guys will get what I mean) in the relationship and I certainly wouldn't shy away from that. I just don't want to have to make every single little decision all the time; that sounds tiring and unfulfilling for me.

[foolycooly1001]

An independent woman can be submissive in a relationship. I think a lot of men want(at least I do) a woman who is independent but will be accommodating to me. I don't want her to act like I'm giving her orders, but it's nice to know that she is there for me and will help me anyway I need(within reason). I also prefer a submissive woman in the bedroom, but I want her to be outspoken enough to tell me what she wants me to do for her.

[kereru]

sorry but isn't that kind of BS to expect a women to be independent and support herself but still come home and be submissive to you?

[foolycooly1001]

When I say submissive, I don't mean worship me. I mean I would like her to be receptive. Think of yin and yang. Then yang is the active force, and the yin is receptive. I'm having a hard time explaining what I mean. If I were with a guy friend, he would challenge me. We would talk sh*t about each other. It's nice for a woman to be like a retreat from the competition of life. It's not so much that she's submissive as it is that she doesn't challenge me on little things.

[visual]

Like consideration. :)

[foolycooly1001]

It's like acceptance. Like the yin accepts the yang into it. It doesn't fight it.

[Elephants]

Not challenging is being submissive. A girl should be there so you can support each other, not so she can support you and be your comfort.

[foolycooly1001]

They're not mutually exclusive.

[toulouse]

Support is strong. not yielding. You two are there to support each other, she's not a human sponge.

[7gnat]

I date a stronger and strong willed type of woman. I suppose it is because of how my mother was. I cannot explain why some guys date submissive women but I could guess. Maybe it is to make themselves feel more powerful. Personally I do not care who dates who. I just date who I like and whom I am attracted to.

[2248576]

Men hate to be womanhandled by a woman because it hurts their masculinity which is why they want a submissive woman. Men hate tough bad girls. They want good girls who will make them feel better and won't hurt their feelings. Men hate being abused and humiliated by women but women will continue to abuse and humiliate men to feel more empowered.

[RedThread]

Lol is this a man posting this? If their masculinity is so fragile perhaps they need some growing up to do lol

[Anonymous]

not true. I had a submissive girlfriend who was actually a ticking timebomb waiting to explode (passive agressive). After she cheated on me, she blamed me for everything and brought up every little thing in the past. She never communicated or complained because she kept it all inside.

Submissive = passive aggressive = stay the f*** away

[Anonymous]

It drives my boyfriend nuts (and not in the good way) that I don't have an opinion on where we eat when we go out. Most of the menial decisions like meals and day-to-day activities he makes. Life decisions like whether or not we have sex, where we'll be in so many years, what kind of life we'll live...those decisions are the ones I make.

[visual]

A woman can still be strong, able to support herself, and willing to submit. Everyone submits, such is life.

Are you just saying you want her opinion to be as strong as yours? I'm kind of confused.

[AmberChick]

Considering you like dominant woman you must be a submissive guy and those women go for you, don't they? The submissive women usually go for the dominant guy.

[Filif]

Actually, it's more that I hate a relationship where either person could be consider the leader of it. If there isn't extremely close equality, I'd go crazy,

[Zaphod]

I guess it's for men who like to be in control, they wouldn't really want their girl to stand up to them. and I guess they'd also like the girl to give into things easily. I'm not the submissive type. ha ha :L

[haleyb]

In my experience, no. Most guys either want a girl who's somewhat dominant (in decision making at least) or who is at least independent. Then again, I don't really surround myself with girls who would be submissive :)

[Jay-Man]

You would love to have a latina for a girlfriend. Strong, yet feminine. Outspoken, yet respectful. Loving, yet not afraid to kick your arse. Exotic, yet homely. Weak women are for weak men, the warrior princess wants a warrior king.

[Twincapersred]

I'm not sure how many guy like out and out submission ie all the decision making most I find like it equal

But I think most men like a lightly more if not completely submissive girl in bed

[okenel]

ive actually noticed the complete opposite to what you think and that is guys do* like more independent, outgoing, assertive girls. I've noticed this ever since I was little. I think guys get bored of quiet girls

[jacquesvol]

"Guys want a submissive girlfriend." WRONG!

SOME guys want a submissive girlfriend.

I don't know if they're 10% or 25 or 33% or 51% or 66.6% of the guys.

Do you know it?

[jacquesvol]

BTW, I want an equal.

[why-makoto-kun]

This is the stereotype. I think it definitely goes for controlling guys.

[Anonymous]

If the guy is one of those controling macho guys who need to be in charge. But normal ones? No. I'm really assertive in my relationship as is my boyfriend.

[Libra89]

well guys like girls who are easy-going and not forceful or pushy or bossy lol.

[RedThread]

You and me both bro.. I never understood it either.

[Anonymous]

Girls want guys who want submissive girlfriends.

[toulouse]

What Women have you actually talked to about this?

[Anonymous]

No. guys these days seem to like to be mothered.

[why-makoto-kun]

Oh God, the truth to this. :/ They're often using that as a form of control too IMO.

[Anonymous]

Not true, I prefer dominant girlfriends.

[Anonymous]

yes

[Lj236]

i dont

[Anonymous]

Very true