"Your friend is so hot" Guys, STOP saying this to your female friends!

[Anonymous]

Am I the only one tired of hearing "your friend is so hot" from EVERYONE?

(I'm the blonde and my friend has dark hair)

Why do all my guy friends seem to think its ok for them to just mention it every time the see me.. It's like "I f*cking know!!"... What am I even supposed to say when they tell me this? What do the want me to say? Because mentioning she has a boyfriend (obviously) only helpes the first time. It just sucks having to feel like the DUFF every single day. Guys no longer hide the fact that you are the DUFF.

It doesn't bother me that my friends think she is hot but PLEASE stop saying it every time I put up a new picture on Facebook. It gets so old. I'm not her pimp so I'm obviosly not going to hook her up with any of my friends.

This myTake was just so that guys know how it feels to hear this 100000 times a day. STOP saying this to your female friends!!!

[Mesonfielde]

Hmm, that blonde hair girl has a much more attractive face than that left dark haired chick.

Just don't forget that if people tell you that someone else is attractive, that doesn't actually imply that you are objectively and comparatively unattractive.

[UnknownXYZ]

It does make you feel insecure though. I am very insecure about my looks despite the seemingly confident responses I give on here.

[iskcyrus90]

What is the purpose of telling? How does that have anything to do with her? Why would it even mater to her? If guys think that the brunette is attractive tell the brunette. Why tell the blond? It's not her business.

[Mesonfielde]

@iskcyrus90 Why not, though? It's a subject like any other.

[iskcyrus90]

True but what does that have to do with her? Why would she even care? Would you want want to talk to a girl about why your friend is hot?

[Mesonfielde]

@iskcyrus90 ... I don't see why not, LOL

[iskcyrus90]

Seriously? :) What does that achieve? How does that help you?

[Mesonfielde]

@iskcyrus90 Well, why do people do any kind of small talk? Discussing the weather won't change anything, people do it anyways.

[iskcyrus90]

Discussing another person's physical appeal or lack thereof won't change anything either. Also, are you saying that the guys who say that are just trying to start up a conversation with her?

[Mesonfielde]

@iskcyrus90 Probably, yeah, or are trying to get to know that girl through her

[iskcyrus90]

If that's the case, they should say that instead. They should ask about the friend because just saying that the friend is hot doesn't really open up the conversation. If it was me, I honestly wouldn't know what to say. It just sounds like a statement that another woman, in my opinion, would not really care about.

[IamNuts]

- Posts picture on "Facebook"
- Guy friend on "Facebook" says friend is hot
- Complains to guys on "GAG"
www.quickmeme.com/.../...fabc68e558542819e9a85.jpg

[ihatethiswebsite]

Exactly lol

[Northeast106]

MHO right here.

[xHoneyxBeex]

I can understand how that could annoy you. You should remember though that just because someone makes a comment about another girl being attractive doesn't mean they think you're ugly or objectively unattractive. Sometimes people just don't think before they speak. They probably don't even realize that what they're saying could be hurting your feelings or making you feel inadequate. That's why it's important for you to speak up for yourself and just be honest about how you feel. The next time a guy tells you this, just tell him politely to stop because it bothers you.

[TheDevilInside]

This is the case where an average girl could be the ugliest girl in the group, or could be the total Babe of the group. This may not be helpful, but if you Hang out with people uglier than you, you will be the Babe. Or girls just physically less desirable (not necessarily ugly, they just need to be seemed less beautiful than you by guys). I know this is not sound advice and is Kind of a bitch move, but it would be the logical move.

Another thing you can do is make them taste their own medicine and say the same thing about each one of the speakers' friends, making him feel like he's the ugliest guy in his group of friends. Eben if you don't think they're hot. Do it just to give them what they do to you. For the hell of it.

[myTake Owner]

Last bit was the best advise ever. I dont care how this makes me feel. I just want random guy friends that never ever talk to me all of a sudden start talking to me all day about my friend. It gets BORING

[TheDevilInside]

They're shallow guys. What do you expect? They're always on the search for available pussy.

Or you could also just catch them in the act and tell them something like "yea... you're definitely not getting into her pants so just quit it before you make a fool of your self". But if you do this, they. Might Start seeing you as a bitch though, butthurt assholes and all...

[abacaxi84]

Pretty much the only difference is that your friend is slimmer/ has a slightly smaller build. Not all men like the same body type. I have a very similar body type to your friend and I have had loads of occasions where a guy that I was interested in went for a girl with a different body type instead. Some guys will find her body type hot, others will prefer yours, what you won't hear, is anyone directly telling you that you are hot because people don't do that.
Guys saying "your friend is so hot" are not trying to make you feel bad - all they are thinking about is their interest in your friend. For them, saying "your friend is so hot" to you, is a way for them to fish for info from you as to whether she is single, and/or hope you pass on what they said to her as they don't have the balls to ask her out themselves. I wouldn't take it personally.

[0110101011001011]

i agree, maybe it's a way to get close to the girl really we like.

"hope you pass on what they said to her as they don't have the balls to ask her out themselves" hahaha yeah.

[PurpleTeardrops]

I agree as well!

[LittleSally]

Hmmmm...
I'm not tired of hearing this because I don't really hear it...

But if I did I'm sure I'd get bored of it. Not angry because of it.
I don't think she's hot, though... if that helps at all. xD

P. S.
You two are the embodiment of what I thought people in South Africa wear causally all the time. xD Haha

[myTake Owner]

Haha the clothes go with the temperature here!!!

[OlderAndWiser]

When they say, "Your friend is so hot!" you should reply, "And what about me?" They will probably stop dead in their tracks, not knowing what to say, and they may even think about what they just said.

[TheDevilInside]

That might also tell them that she's insecure, even though maybe she's not. And assholes could use that and Bully her. I think better Comeback would be "so is each of your friends", hinting that the speaker is the ugliest in his circle of friends. That would sting, i think.

[LiveOutLoud]

@TheDevilInside comback is savage... but worthy... lol

[Karyo]

Well I say it personally as a compliment to her friend, if I don't know her. I don't have many female friends, and the ones who do aren't interested in me, and/or have boyfriends. I don't say it often mind you, but maybe they kinda want you to feel jealous? Maybe to see if you like them based on your reaction? I might do that as a confirmation. If she seemed jealous to me I would possibly think she is at least a little interested in me, and wants me to focus on her? Otherwise I would think she is conveying, even if she isn't. In that case I don't see why she should care.

[Bluemax]

I believe what is really at issue here is that you feel you're the DUFF.

Why do you feel that way?

When I was a younger man, one of my friends looked like young Tom Cruise and another looked like young Peter Gallagher (and he's aged WAY better than Peter Gallagher ). My female friends constantly were telling me how hot they were. In my weaker moments, I found myself hurt. However I came to realize that this doesn't necessarily mean I am the DUFF. My self esteem is not the responsibility of those women fawning over my friends.

[SensualScribe]

I think you are both attractive. That being said, people have different preferences. I get where you are coming from in the sense that I wouldn't know what to say if my guy friend said this, other then agreeing with them and there is nothing wrong with that at all. I am not the jealous type, so I have no problem with my boyfriend commenting on other women, even if they are friends of mine, so for a guy friend of mine to say something, I could care less. If that is all you are is friends with these guys, why does it matter?

[Anonymous]

They are you "friends" right? Would your girlfriends tell you if they thought a guy was hot?
It's a funny thing about women. They want guy "friends" who they have zero interest in ever being with but have them around because they want the attention and admiration of the males like little attention sponges. They get completely butt hurt when the guy actually treats them like they would a FRIEND!

If you want a guy to be interested in YOU and not your friend... then don't be their friend, be the girl they can go out with, otherwise stop your whining and get over yourself.

Your friend IS HOT. You know it, and so does everyone else. It doesn't mean you are unattractive (minus the butt hurt attitude). I'm sorry that as a female you are incapable of having people acknowledge that someone may be more attractive than you. Life sucks doesn't it. Males are constantly told how completely not good enough they are, you will live.

[CavScoutTrooper]

You said everything I was going to say

[Opinion Owner]

@CavScoutTrooper :) and I bet it was common sense to you just like it was me, right?
Funny how women can't grasp logic in most cases and have this constant double standard bullshit idea where men should be one way but only when it coincides with their f'd up ideas and manipulated constructs.

[RainbowFanGirl]

Good point.

[Opinion Owner]

@RainbowFanGirl Thank you for having some sense. ;)

[lonerider]

Nailed it buddy. Nailed it.

[BackInGame]

a fuckin medal for you

[RainbowFanGirl]

I get that sometimes. It's like a backhanded compliment in a way, because they comment that your friend is hot. Uh... what am I supposed to say? Thanks? My friend isn't a new handbag or something, lol. If you think my friend is hot then please, keep it to yourself. It can lower self-esteem if a person keeps hearing that constantly, always being compared to their friend. Nice take, it sucks that you have to hear that constantly.

[CavScoutTrooper]

Because that's what friends do with each other. There treating her like a friend, that's what other guys say to other guys and that's what other girls say to other girls.

[RainbowFanGirl]

@CavScoutTrooper I know. I was just sharing personal experience.

[brain5000]

You are not a DUFF. There is a small population of jackasses in the world. They are going to say stupid stuff no matter what you do. You don't have to and in fact should not feel compelled to say something or react to them.

You are also a beautiful woman, but your beauty is more nuanced and individual than your friend's. I'm not just saying that. There is NO WAY I would ever look at you and thing "ugly" OR "fat." I am sure you know guys and girls who don't fit the standard mold for hotness; in some ways I'll bet you know that quirkiness and personality can make someone just as or sometimes even more attractive than a super hot person.

You have your own value and worth that can be invested in, built and expanded upon. In the meantime, be happy for your friend's good fortune. It does not reflect upon you. You have your own gifts, and you are an attractive woman.

[brain5000]

Also remember the word "photogenic." There is some beauty out there that doesn't fit in to two dimensions.

[Xssxx]

Ok no one here gets the point... Stop repeating that her friend is hot or even saying that the blonde girl is hotter because that is not the point. The point here is (and I guess this appeals to women as well) that it's pointless and hurtful to point out which person you find more attractive in a group- it gives one person a massive ego boost and the other a massive confidence drop- so there's no need to do it, in situations like that keep your opinions to yourself.

[myTake Owner]

Thank you!!!

[jjmarvin]

I would have said the issue was the irrelevance of the comment, as the information has zero benefit to her.

If she gets sad by knowing someone else is hot or hearing another woman get compliments, that problem is internal and not on the person who made the comment.

The commenter has the responsibility to keep the comment to themselves out of respect because her hotness had nothing to do with the picture and he ignored more important aspects of her. He does not have to take responsibility for her self worth that is tied to comparing herself to other women.

I speak matter of factly on the Internet, please don't read this in a mean voice ;)

[Krillanr]

Not sure what a "duff" is, but I assume it's one of the many ridiculous terms in popular culture.

I sympathize with you, but you're being unfair to them, in their case, it's one person saying it, though you hear it from many people.

It's also nothing to do with you, now if they claim you aren't as pretty as her, then I would understand the irritation, but to just state that your attractive friend is attractive, that's the same as stating that your food looks tasty.

Personally, I find you both very attractive, but I think you're letting your insecurities control your thinking in this issue.

A minor test would be, when I said you are both very attractive, did you by chance think to yourself, "Ya but he probably thinks she's prettier than me."?

I personally find you both equal in attraction, though I am partial to blondes, especially with short hair.

[thomasjjeffy]

lol, I guess you're fishing for compliments now and expect people to tell that you are hotter.

Stop with that. What if a "nice guy" nags because he can't have a girlfriend? Shut up, just deal with it.
Remember: life is not fair. Some are born to be not so hot as the others, that's a fucking fact.
I don't have a vagina, I don't get drinks. Is there anything I can do against it? NO!

[thomasjjeffy]

Jerks get good girls, good guys get nobody. Ugly girls don't get picked on parties and the hot takes it all. That's just life.

[dori1024]

LOL agreed

[Dandeus]

Your friend IS hot. You don't need to acknowledge it when others point it out. They're just commenting, they aren't looking for your confirmation for how they feel.

And if I'm your friend (and I mean a real friend, not someone you vaguely follow on Facebook) I'm not going to be telling you that YOU'RE hot because you're my friend and that creates way too much confusion in the friendship. Doesn't mean you're not hot too, it's all friendship dynamics. It's much easier to comment on the photo of a stranger than to say something like that to a friend and have them think you're hitting on them.

Plus, when you're around someone all the time, you get accustomed to their presence and don't make comments on their appearance.

[ChocEyes]

Don't be so selfish :(

She's your friend, you care for her, aren't you supposed to feel happy for her?

If someone said to me: "wow, your friend is smoking hot", I would probably say: "Yes, he is, he's a catch :D :D :D" (even though I actually have more female friends). My point is, you don't have to make everything about you. People think she is attractive, they're not trying to give you any hidden message or something. This is NOT about you.

[nalaa]

Who said the friend likes it?
She said it was on social media and it's very common for guys to leave, often quite rude comments on girls pictures. What is it with guys thinking they're constantly entitled to judge and comment a girls look.

[ChocEyes]

They are not entitled to. But that was not the asker's point. She wasn't bothered by the fact her friend was being judged, she was bothered by the fact their comments made HER feel the DUFF (whatever this is).

That mindset presupposes that these guys comments were complimentary and this made her feel bad about herself. And that's the point. If they are indeed complimentary, then you should be happy for your friend and not act like you're being wronged.

Now if you want to discuss the idea of if they are really complimentary, then this is a hole different issue.

[Anonymous]

I don't think your friend is hot. She's alright looking... Her face is cuter but your body is nicer. She's too thin for my taste. The way she is smiling gives off the feeling that she is a bit devious. Your smile gives off the feeling of being more welcoming. So, I won't say that your friend is hot. Neither of you are hot and neither of you are ugly, but based on your appearance alone. . . you look like a girl I would like to get to know and your friend looks like the kind of girl that if I were to have any relations with her. . . it would only be sexual.

[TadCurious]

I wouldn't ever say that. It's just really inconsiderate. When you're with a girl, whether she's your girlfriend or just a friend or whatever, you don't go off talking about how so-and-so other girl is so hot, beautiful, etc. How's that gonna make the girl you're with feel?

[JuicyBrain]

I think both are hot.
First, if you are tired of hearing this, then why do you put up pictures of you and your friend on facebook for everybody to see and comment on? That's not really smart.
Also why do you tell us this on G@G where probably nobody has you on facebook?

[xOGxDub]

If you changed the wardrobe and showed my skin she'd already be jealous of you

but if you're trying to get people to notice you like they notice her id recommend dark eyemake up, red lipstick black out line, some face cream, and a bit of blush.

then the girl beside you would look like a cardboard box compared to you

buuut if you like keeping it natural thats ok too, when she takes off that make up she'ss look different.. lol... but you're already pretty without any makeup