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Delivering a message.
It is Easter in southern Finland. A certain beautiful cashier girl has frequented my thoughts ever since we started noticing each other at my hometown supermarket. This Thursday I found myself doing groceries there as always. On-site as I examined my heart, however, the groceries were a pure excuse for me to go and see the girl of my fancy. She is so beautiful, her gorgeous face stands out from all the other women in the building and we always pay more than a fleeting attention to each other. I saw her again during this visit and was determined to approach her one way or another, I just had to figure out a way to do it. After putting the creative chambers of my brain to work, I finally got it.
I was determined to approach her one way or another, after putting the creative chambers of my brain to work, I finally got it.
I go to a bookstore and buy a small card which folds in two. Its front cover has a darker colour and in the middle a shiny gold text proclaims "You're Awesome". Inside the card I write a message to the cashier girl and decide to add something extra. My recent IT-education from University of Applied Sciences has served me well in providing me the knowledge to create web pages. I decide to make one for her with a specified message. To make the online greeting a tad more appealing I opt to add in an accompanying image and present the text content as an animated text. "A typewriter effect!" I think to myself and proceed to spend an evening working on the webpage code. After plenty of double-checks I print out a clear URL-address and neatly glue it inside the "awesome card". Reflecting on my creation I go: "This is going to be great."
Come Friday afternoon I find myself walking the supermarket hallways once again, searching for a familiar face. Armed with confidence and a personified card I carefully observe my surroundings, I feel my heartbeat slightly increasing as I scan the faces of the cashier personnel. After plenty of observing I come to a disappointing conclusion however: "She's not here today." Due to her absence, a part of me sighs of relief as I don't need to face my fears of approaching someone who I don't even know. Relieved of the momentary tension, a sense of false bravado takes over me: "I can do it tomorrow!" As evening falls, I find it hard to think about anything else other than her.
As I examine my heart, the groceries were a pure excuse for me to go and see the girl of my fancy.
On Saturday I decide to do my vocal practices before heading out. I improvise my song selection and without even realizing it, one love song after another gets crooned out through my vocal cords: "When You Love a Woman" by Journey, "Rhythm of Love" by Scorpions, "Why Can't This Night Go On Forever" again by Journey.. among many others. One and a half hours later I'm standing at the nearby bus stop, determined and ready to embark on a mission: to find the beautiful cashier girl in the supermarket.
I take the commute to my destination and upon entering the entry gates I find five to six of the closest cash registers occupied by supermarket personnel. One by one I scan their faces and always within a fraction of a second come to the same conclusion: "It's not her." There are still plenty of cash registers to scout but I can't help feeling slightly discouraged. Down but not out, I decide to go to collect groceries. Truth to be told I'm not interested in the groceries one bit, all I care about is spotting this beautiful young woman for whom I've shed my heart and creativity in form of the card and the webpage.
I pick up some groceries and proceed to scout the middle-area cash registers. One after another I recognize every cashier as not the person who I'm searching for and I start to get really discouraged. To make matters worse, the song I've been humming to along all this time is Bon Jovi's "Only Lonely" and its bittersweet melodies blasting through my earbuds as the cashier girl is nowhere to be seen. I think to myself: "Seriously, these two days when I'd approach her she's not here? What timing." Under the gloomy sentiment I continue walking forward and checking out the rest of the cash registers one by one.
All I care about is spotting this beautiful young woman for whom I've shed my heart and creativity in form of the card and the webpage.
Then without warning, a tall long-haired female figure appears from behind a nearby cash register about ten meters ahead of my position: all my brain registers is her long ponytail hair and tall figure as everything else disappears around me: "It's the cashier girl!" She has jumped out to get herself some water from the machine right next to the cash register she's currently occupying. She doesn't notice me yet with her back facing me as she concentrates in what looks like a slightly hurried and nervous attempt at filling a plastic cup with water in the midst of her shift. She takes her water and finally turns around, faces my direction and notices me. She smiles to me. I am enamored. I deliberately keep myself cool and won't show my heart's elation to her as she hurries back to her cash register.
This is it. This is my chance. She's right there. All I need to do is hand out the card to her. I feel my pulse increasing rapidly as I take my place behind a sole elderly person who is the only person left between me and the girl of my admirations. I observe the groceries the elderly person has and use the amount of food to determine how much time I have left before the moment of truth. My heart rate is rapid, I decide to subtly take a deep breath in an attempt to calm myself down. It works. She looks at me once before it's my turn to pay for my things. All I can think of is how she has no idea about what she's going to receive in a minute. Every once in a while I admire her beautiful face as I prepare for our interaction. Finally my groceries on the conveyor belt reach her as she starts to handle them.
As is customary for cashier personnel, she asks whether I'd need a small bag for the food from the freezer. I tell her a versatile yes and my wording disappears instantly from my memory because at this point I'm totally concentrated on making my move as soon as she hands out the receipt. "Do you need a bag for your things so you could carry them?" she asks to my great surprise. I have my own bag with me and reply to her that "the food should fit into my bag, we'll see!" My dreamy heart persuades me to think that what she said was extra service just for me. Be that as it may, she finally hands out the receipt and I make my move.
"Let's make a trade! This is for you." I hand out the card with the shining gold text to her, she looks astonished as she takes it and proceeds to read its contents. I see the look on her face: it's as if the card's contents luminate her face as she reads all of it on the spot. "Check it out when you have a break. Happy Easter. :)" I say and smile to her. "Thank you, to you too!" she replies and smiles to me. I grab my things and walk away. I pause near a corner to put the groceries into the bag. My curiosity takes over and I take one last look towards the cashier girl's station of the day: she is walking and moving fast nearby the cash register in order to get something for the next customer. My sole recollection and visual image of the moment is that "she's almost jumping and moving around really fast". Maybe I caused a line of customers to gather behind me and made her busy. In any case, I depart the supermarket with a feeling I've never had before.
I depart the supermarket with a feeling I've never had before.
I feel an incredible high and simply cannot stop smiling as I walk toward the exit doors and prepare for the cold air which waits for me outside. I feel like a conqueror. I feel like a winner. I feel like a man. I have conquered my fear and came out on top. As I walk towards the bus stop I don't even feel the cold air, I'm high on my success and rapidly texting my friends about what happened. It takes several hours before my high starts to even slightly cool down and I sigh of relief at the realization of having made the move the day before April Fool's day. The cashier girl and I have written a story for the ages. Even though the contents of the card and the webpage shall remain between me and her, I can reveal that we can now reach each other anytime. The decision is hers.
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