My boyfriend likes to isolate himself. How do I handle his isolation?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend likes to isolate himself and I don't know how to handle it. I asked him if it was depression. He says it is not. He said he goes through phases where he just wants to shut the world out (that means including me) and be by himself for days even weeks. And it hurts me when he does this. And I feel like it's gotten worse. I ask questions like if he still loves me and still wants to be with me etc, but that seems to annoy him. Though he says he wants me to be in his life, but at the same time likes being by himself. I feel as though I can't talk to him lately. His mind is always somewhere else. I don't know what causes him to go into isolation. He doesn't even know why he is the way he is. Though he said it may have something to do with his family. Growing up with a big family where they fuss and argued a lot and not being able to escape might have caused these isolation problems. Like when me and him get into an argument he wants to shut down and disappear for a while. We're always going to have arguments, but it's hard on me when he shuts down because of it. It's hard on the both of us. He pushes me away because of it. So I guess it's stress related? How do I deal with his isolation because it hurts me.

[stacy9743]

its good to have space but as for your situation he seems too be keeping more hidden within himself from you, thats not healthy if he is hurting you in the process, he is shutting you out because he likely has deeper issues than what he is revealing, you need to sit him down and try to get him to open up, because as for this case it will only get worse if you dont help him through it, this is not your fault dont think that at all! he firstly has to see a therapist as they help a person find out what the real issue is they ask questions about childhood problems and history aswell to get to the root of the issue , he is pushing you away and you must not tolerate it he needs help we all do some times, he must not be afraid to get help you must get him to see a therapist it can really help otherwise he will always be this way, you need to do this soon now to save your relationship and him, i hope it helps...:)

[Asker]

Thank you. I will try to talk to him about seeing a therapist.

[stacy9743]

its my pleasure<3 i have heard before that therapists have a way of figuring out what the real issue is especially with him saying it has to do with when he was growing up because a therapist asks those specific questions, if he is afraid then attend it with him maybe or get his parents to go with because it can be that he has unresolved issues regards to his parents aswell as they may be the cause, he will feel better even going to his parents if not a therapist and talking to them at least so that he can have comfort because a simple real apology from his parents might really help...:)

[Asker]

Again thank you. This helps.

[Fuentes]

Autism?