He's jealous when I talk to other guys- even though he has a GIRLFRIEND?

[Anonymous]

A guy I've known for a couple months now had been showing signs of liking me, despite being a shy guy. It has been getting stronger with each passing week and he has even gotten jealous when I talk to/pay attention to other guys.

However, I just found out he has a girlfriend he has been dating for 7 months. He never once mentioned her in all of our talks (though I know everything else about him and his family). Because he's so shy and appeared to be a responsible person, I never expected anything like this from HIM.

Despite the fact he is dating another girl (whom I've met before and I like), he still tries to get my attention and gets jealous when I talk to another guy.

What the heck is this guy's problem? What goes through someone's mind to do something like this?

Updates

+1 y

But WHY does a guy do something like this? If he really likes me so much, why didn't he break up with his girlfriend before it got to this point?

Updates

+1 y

Also, recently he's begun to attempt to make ME jealous.
He'll talk about how close he was to a certain woman and how they used to be able to talk for hours.
And worse: he used his girlfriend to try and make me jealous! He purposely cuddled and rested his head on his girlfriend's shoulder DIRECTLY in front of me. -I will note that he wasn't drunk, but he had been drinking (it was a work function)-

[Elises]

🙄... Alright, two theories
1. He's not crushing you, it's something I do too to my female best friend, I'm a Wolf 🐺 nah just kidding but my personality is that of a shy Wolf. Basically my point is that I want some attention from the person I call a friend in my mind, if she talks to other guys I'm wary or I don't trust, yh I tend to avoid them talking to her if I think they want to harm or have deeper relationship with her. It's what I call fren jealousy, if it really bothers you, just tell him who is okay to trust and try seeing what happens if it isn't two together.

2. Probably what everyone else says but if his personality is really like mine... A shy, confident talkative when he's alone with you, cracks up a joke or two then yh... If not go for what others say.

by the way I answered because my this girl is complaining to much to me. Anyways I'll be happy to answer your question further.. 🙂
~ Hiro

[cupkek]

It is his responsibility to mention he has a girlfriend, out of respect for her, he didn't that should say a thousand words.

[SirNewhallian]

He probably has a crush on you, but he also really likes hos girlfriend. And since he’s shy it’d be super hard for him to break up with her. He just wouldn’t be able to do that to her. He probably doesn’t know what to do and sometimes the quiet ones cheat also

[FitNerd]

Lol same reason women do it. They don't want to break up with one and end up alone. The bigger question is why are you interested in a guy that is taken but isn't faithful

[Asker]

No, I literally just found out he was in a 7 month relationship... with a fellow coworker. He never mentioned a girlfriend before.
Before this, his behavior was a little odd but somewhat cute because he's a self-admitted shy guy. Now, I'm more appalled and I just need to understand WHY someone would do this. It makes no sense to me.

[FitNerd]

Women do it to guys all the time and guys do it to women. I know that it's because they know the relationship isn't going anywhere or they lost interest but they don't want to be alone so they stall it out till they find someone new. Both sides do it. I just end a relationship if it isn't working but a lot of people can't handle being alone

[Asker]

Whoa. That's deep. Thanks for letting me know!

[FitNerd]

Yeah no problem. Honest for myself I avoidgetting in a relationship with people who can't end one before they have another lined up. It's not like a job lol. Also if he's your team leader or boss I wouldn't go down that bridge either

[love2cook]

Maybe he is attracted to you but doesn't want to tell you he likes you because he doesn't want to ruin the friendship.

[Asker]

Or ruin his relationship with his committed girlfriend?

I don't understand this way of thinking... But thank you for your opinion.

[love2cook]

Maybe in his mind he is over the other girl but keeps her around in case it doesn't work out with you. How close are you and this guy.

[Asker]

Well, I've known him for a couple months. He's our team leader at work. While I've stayed both friendly and professional (haven't treated him any differently than anyone else at work), we get along very well. If this crap wasn't happening, I'd definitely say he was very similar (personalities, backgrounds, habits, likes/dislikes). We would have made excellent friends, maybe even something more but since this crap is happening-
I don't trust him. It doesn't sit well with me that someone can hold a committed girlfriend in one hand and pursue a massive crush on the other. It feels disrespectful.

[love2cook]

I definitely understand how you feel on that. Sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too. Just tell him to be more professional with you. And try not to talk to him outside of work. Because if you don't will lead him on. And that's what he wants.

[Asker]

Thank you, that's good advice, since I don't want to lead him on or have this continue!

[DamnMan]

He's sounds like a punk.
If he likes you then he needs to dump his girlfriend and make a move.
The fact that he has a girlfriend and gets jealous over others is weak.

[snekbrek23]

You are what's known as the "backup." He doesn't like you enough to breakup with his girlfriend for you, but he still views himself with you in the future so he also wants to keep you under lock and key, ya know.. just in case.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Why are you talking to other guys or him? I'm dead sexy.

Don't all my lady friends, gf's, and wife though... you know I love you lol

[Motocrossmam]

he's in love with you stright up. And if you did get with him that jelious would only get worse

[Nice222]

Find another guy. You don’t want to deal with jealousy.

[Anon-ymous1]

He likes you, and wants you for himself. What's confusing?

[Asker]

If a guy is in a committed relationship, why on earth would he get so jealous over another girl who isn't his girlfriend?
It's unfathomable to me that if anyone (guy or girl) has that strong of feelings for another person, wouldn't they break up with the person they were seeing? Since, he only looks at me, even when talking to her...

[Anon-ymous1]

Because he likes you, and wants you for himself. What's confusing?

[Anon-ymous1]

Per your update: Why would you break up with your current girlfriend if you weren't sure for a fact that the new person was going to work out for absolute certain? You don't quit your job before you have another job, you job search while you still have a job right now. You're kind of asking why people don't break up with their SOs just for liking or having some attraction to some other person, somewhere out there. NO ONE does that. It doesn't make sense why they would. It's normal for people to be curious and attracted to others even while they're in a relationship. You're asking a question about human nature here, not something devious or confusing or nefarious.

[Asker]

As another user has said, "People aren't jobs". If you or the person you're dating, are so strongly feeling attraction towards another person to go so far as to act out your jealousy- shouldn't you question your current relationship? I mean, it's not like a passing attraction or celebrity crush.
Those things are understandable for not breaking up with your current SO. But if you would go so far as to treat your crush as if you were protecting your girlfriend, there's a problem somewhere...
And why would you keep someone on the line (your current SO) when you knew your affections were elsewhere? It just seems disrespectful to your SO and the person you are acting jealous over.

[Anon-ymous1]

I'm not sure what "treating your crush like you were protecting your girlfriend" means. Again, are you really suggesting that if you feel deep down inside the slightest twinge of genuine attention to, and attraction for, someone other than your SO, you are supposed to break up with your SO? Good heavens, you think the divorce rate in America is bad now? If people actually lived as you seem to be suggesting they should, monogamous marriage would basically cease to exist. It is *normal* for people to be attracted to other people. Nor. mal. Normal.

[newbie2015]

I had a man do this. He was possessive.

[thegr8lion]

He should give you freedom

[Anonymous]

I don't think he's jealous

[Asker]

Really? He normally is a quiet, patient person but when I talk to another guy, he'll get upset (blow air out of his mouth in frustration), he'll get louder and interrupt us with a topic he knows I like, he'll stand DIRECTLY behind the guy I'm talking to, he'll physically block me by standing between the guy and me (and this happens a LOT), etc.
If he isn't jealous or trying to grab my attention, what is he doing?

[PrittBalagopal]

Physically block you in the way? Fuck me, that's way too far. Even a boyfriend shouldn't be telling you who to talk and who not to. Be very careful, he might sound innocent, but he is not. He's ruining your life, and he's just a guy you know, not even a boyfriend. Tell him to fuck off, seriously.

[emp111]

I have a dude in my life like that. His not even my boyfriend but he would beat up or threaten any guy who touches me or crushes over me. But i like him like that. He is single though but he had a girlfriend for a month or so. He won't beat up if its me who call the guy but would get pissed off and seem shattered.😂😂😂 he doesn't know but i find him cute that way. He is such an alpha but talks like squeeking mouse to me... stuttering and getting nervous.

[Juxtapose]

He wants a harem.

[cupkek]

The social media generation fueled by ego , one giant harem, so effortless.

[Juxtapose]

@cupkek Exactly. I'd rather have a few loyal people in my life that I can actually see and talk to then a bunch of subscribers on youtube, followers on twitter, etc.

[Juxtapose]

@cupkek Exactly. Quantity has been placed over quality unfortunately.

I'd rather have one truly close person in my life then a bunch of social media followers.

[cupkek]

True. Good luck finding that in this world. The world is sick.

[Juxtapose]

@cupkek Sorry for the double post, I think one of them didn't get through xD

[Anonymous]

He is into u