Why is he giving me a cold shoulder after I rejected him?

[Anonymous]

A coworker of mine asked me out on a date few months ago. I was really shocked because I never thought he likes me in that way, we've known each other for few years already. I was kind of put on a spot and I accepted the date, because I genuinely do like him as a person, and I since we don't really know each other that well I thought maybe we could get a bit closer now and see where it goes. And well, his date idea sounded fun as well, so why not. But I wasn't really in a mood for a relationship, my life is pretty chaotic right now and I also didn't quite think about him in that way yet. So anyway we went out on a date and had a great time! Then he asked me out again few days later and added some kind of romantic comment, which got me a bit worried that he might think that I'm up for a relationship. So I told him we can hangout but that I'm just not looking for a relationship right now. This was all via text, so I added that we can talk more about it if he wants to. I was being honest and polite. But then he just said that he understands and that it's all cool, no hard feelings, and that we don't have to talk about at all. I was kind of relieved, but ever since then he's been giving me a cold shoulder. He doesn't really engage in conversation with me, doesn't look at me anymore, he's acting like nothing happened. But he's all friendly and chatty with everyone else, while I feel like he sometimes is avoiding me. We're good when it comes to work, actually that's the only time he talks to me. I feel a bit left out and like he hates me. Does he really hate me? I thought we just started to get to know each other, thought we could lead somewhere, but he just gave up I guess?

[hellionthesagereborn]

He was interested, you where not, that's all this is. He is not going to be all friendly if he has feelings and you rejected him, he is going to move on and go about his life. He is being very professional about it and mature in my opinion. No he doesn't hate you, he does however want to move on because you did reject him and he has no reason to continue a relationship with you and probably doesn't want to interact with you like that any more because again, you rejected him and he wants to move on and because he doesn't want it to seem like he is pressuring you. As for him "giving up", no, that's bullshit. You rejected him, you said you did not want a relationship so he moved on. That is entirely on you, he didn't give up you told him their was no reason for him to try because it wasn't going to happen. If you wanted to try for something more you should have said that instead of telling him you did not want something more. This is called consequences, you are experiencing them, own it and move on (now you know when you tell a guy no, he will assume you mean no because you know, language).

[Anonymous]

You rejected him, what did you think would happen?

He played it cool because that's what's expect of guys and all that, but you still shot him down. If your intent was to keep dating but not pursue a relationship, it seems like you went about it the wrong way.

"we can talk more about it if he wants to"
That sort of implies that you aren't interested in talking about it and it's all done and dusted for you. What's he going to say? There's nothing considered acceptable that he could say other than just play it cool and say it's all fine.

[btbc92]

He wants S-E-X. And you just told him he is not attractive enough to screw him. Sad, but true. Genuine guys who are not after sex gets it. He doesn't really. He can say he is, but he's lying. He's actually cursing himself and you in his mind.

[jtmc731]

I think you panicked and jumped the gun a bit. You gave a complete rejection instead of communicating. It’s okay to talk to someone and say, “we can get to know each other, I don’t want to fall too quickly into a relationship.” A date doesn’t always lead to a relationship, but I don’t know where his head was. Just my thoughts.

[JSmuve]

"I thought we just started to get to know each other, thought we could lead somewhere, but he just gave up I guess?"

You rejected him and said you weren't interested in a relationship. Where do you think it could have possible led? The friendzone? Clearly he's not interested in that.

[TheFlak38]

The dude played the game wrong. I would have invited you regardless. Zero fucks given about your "i don't want a relationship blah blah" you all say the same thing. At the end of the day the area between your legs is getting wet and you ask for the D.

[scotty01]

He got his hopes up because he likes you a lot and wanted a relationship with you and you turned him down so you rejected him so he’s rejecting you. He’s not after just a friend and wanted to settle down with you and now he can’t have that with you he’s rejecting you.

[Tdieseler]

what did you expect? i doubt he hates you... but you did just slam dunk him. its gonna take a while... but i know for SURE he doesn't hate you... he's just awkward now.

[Logorithim]

Because people dont handle rejection well after they got their hopes up

[Asker]

Was it wrong of me to accept the date?

[Logorithim]

No, i don't think so

[thechesseman]

Are you sure he's just not putting in effort to please you because there's no reason for him to?

[Anonymous]

is this really a question