If someone needs to lose weight or "should" lose weight, I'm not going to really knock the reason they're doing it.
It's kind of like the idea of going to a movie for a first date. Probably not ideal, but is it horrible or stupid? No. Can a relationship last when the first date was a movie? Sure it can.
Likewise, if a person should be losing weight, and the idea of being more attractive is what inspires them to do it... great. It may not be the most solid inspiration, if you're not commited to that person yet, but if it works, it works.
The thing is that many people will let their relationship define their weight or health. Meaning... you break up, and you gain weight because you're down or because you don't have to impress them any more. So the reasoning is kind of based on a tenous thing. Ideally, you're doing it for yourself AND your partner. But not everyone handles it that way.
And as long as you're losing weight in a healthy way - not starving yourself and going on "Grapefruit only" diets or trying to drink a gallon of prune juice a day... some weird thing like that, or lose 20 pounds a week (unless you're morbidly obese), then it's probably good. But if you're a person that isn't naturally motivated at all, and they're the ones getting you to the gym and all that... and if the relationship doesn't last, then the reason for getting up tends to fly out the window. And without that inspiration being accessable, or with so many emotions involved... it'll be a lot harder to keep getting out there, that's all.
No. Today many people have this idea that if you do anything because you feel like you should for someone else, that's wrong. They whine about "pressure" as if it's a bad thing.
Part of the reason I like to stay in shape is to stay attractive to my girlfriend. If that means that I go to the gym regularly and eat good food rather than sit on my ass all day and eat junk, I can't see how that's unhealthy at all. In fact it's more healthy.
The people who say that it isn't tend to be unhealthy people. They'll claim for example that being obsessive about eating good food and avoiding junk food is unhealthy. How? How can it be that not eating things that cause health problems is unhealthy? They only say that because they personally prefer to eat junk and sit on their asses. That's why they hate the "pressure". And/or the reason they do feel fine with being unhealthy themselves is because ethey don't care about what people think of them.
The "pressure" from other people is a good thing as far as I'm concerned if it drives you to better yourself.
Congratulations on the weight loss to the person in the photo. Mad props for your success.
That being said, you should never, ever change who you are for someone else. If they couldn't accept you for who you were/ are
they're not going to lose that trait just because of weight loss.
They'll just find something else wrong or some other reason to tho make you feel bad about yourself.
Changing our bad behaviors, habits, lifestyle choices can be a great thing, especially when successful. But it should always, always, be because of and for you, yourself!!
Someone who loves you wouldn't want you to do It for them. They would want you to do because it would benefit your health and overall well-being. Someone who loves you would be gentle about losing weight and would encourage you to do it a healthy way without putting stress. You could do it for yourself and for someone else if that person isn't being a jerk about your weight. If they lose attraction because you lose weight, that is their problem. Not only will you feel better about yourself and feel more confident, but you'll also be healthier.
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I voted A by mistake.
I wanted B.
But yes. Nothing wrong with that and in fact... if u look at it from the correct angle... this is just another form of self motivation.
I think the same btw! Like for example right now i dont work out as much as i used to. I kinda dont have a reason to. But i do know that once im married to my love... i will push myself to achieve the best body just so that our relationship and attraction keeps growing and our love increase with time. And i hope she does the same as well. My wife. I believe in a love life where both couples push themselves and each other to grow together in life and in each others eyes as well.
No, If he inspires you to change and that's what you want, that's fine.
If it is a requirement to keep the relationship... um on shaky ground, but still ok fine if it is what you want... e. g. either way you go you are fine... is the mentality.
If there is more going on here, then I'd get outside help to understand what is going on. some people can be coercive, manipulative, controlling, etc.. and that isn't love nor healthy.
Ideally you do things that you want to do and your partner is there to support and cheer you on, not that you have to change. but it is admirable someone is willing to change and sometimes change is necessary.
Yes it is wrong. You asked a very metaphysical question, so you are going to get a metaphysical answer. Changing yourself for someone is a good sign that you are with the wrong person, since the right person would not want you to change and would be unhappy if you did. Changing for someone means that you prioritize the wishes of others over your own self, which in this context is a bad thing. I would not want a girl to change herself for me, and I would not change for a girl.
Incidentally, the girl in the photo is more attractive on the left. She is adorably chubby.
It's okay to Lose a few pounds, but don't go overboard. You don't have to make a 180 turn. Just try to become a liiiiittle bit more appealing to your partner so they value your looks AS WELL AS your personality. Also a lot of mental change comes with weight loss, such as confidence and a feeling of achievement. So all in all, if you really like your partner try to lose a little, bit don't if you are skinny. Excessive wheight loss is bad. Don't go completely out of your way to get skinnier. Eat a little less, but don't stop eating what you like.
I have been here myself. I think you should only lose weight for yourself be it for health reasons or to just personal reasons. I have to watch what I eat all the time because I am emotional eater. Stress really sets me off and food is my way of dealing with it. Once I thought some people would except me better if I were slimmer, so I lost weight. Truth was it didn't change things and I put weight back on. Then one day I just decided to lose some weight just for myself. I felt better and became more active. I still have to watch what I eat, but I would never again do it for someone else. If you like or love someone, they except you as you are.
We humans are social beings. As such, it's perfectly normal for us to rely on each other sometimes to keep ourselves motivated and focused toward our own goals!
The important thing to ask yourself is if YOU consider losing some of your current weight to be a positive potential change FOR YOURSELF. If it couldn't hurt to lose some weight, consider it a blessing that you have somebody around to offer you incentive to improve! Having something to strive for is what keeps us going in life, don'tcha think? :D
There are 2 sides to this, the bad one and the good one.
I don't wanna write too much atm so I'm just gonna say that I'll side with those who say that it isn't a bad thing.
Tbh you might lose the person but if you get fit, your whole mentality and habits might change. Yeah sure you won't have the person anymore but you'd have become a better version of yourself in that you'll start living healthier.
I think it depends. If the person has a chronic disease due to obesity and has loved ones they care about enough to want to try to be there for them and goes to the gym to lose weight then that's not really unhealthy thinking that drives the action. Less so there are situations where someone unhappy with themself might find healthy coping mechanisms with their partner and might want to lose weight for them to reach some sort of goal. But I will admit like 80% of the time its toxic thoughts and ideas that drive ones weightloss for another person.
I don't think it's bad. If your partner got with you while you're fat, you can assume that they got with you mostly for personality and nothing more. You finished filtering the ones only in it for looks. Now that you're both together and have strong feelings for each other, it's okay to want to look more physically attractive to them.
However, you should always want to be healthy and look good for yourself. It just makes you feel much better about yourself and let's you do more with your body.
Depends.
Are you a healthy weight? It'd be harmful to your self esteem but depending on how much weight you want to lose is probably physically harmless if not slightly helpful.
Are you underweight or really close to it? Don't lose weight for anyone. It's a good way to ruin your body physically and ruin your self esteem.
Are you overweight? It could be harmful to your self esteem but you should probably lose weight for yourself, it's fine to use someone as motivation as long as you're doing it for your own health.
Assuming you're already healthy:
Who is the person?
A crush? You probably shouldn't
A long term partner/spouse? You can
A close friend or family member? If you're a healthy weight then I don't see why they'd want you to lose weight but I guess you could
No. Why would it be?
I will say that in order for your lifestyle changes to actually stick, it's better for you to also be doing it for yourself, but using this other person as inspiration for wanting to get fit and attractive is perfectly normal. Nothing wrong with it.
Nobody cares about your motivations as much as you will. If doing it for someone else gets you taking action, then the motivation serves its purpose. I dont buy this false virtue signalling trend that we can't do anything unless we do it for ourselves. We live among others, we share kinship, our actions affect others. As long as you do it for the right person, then go ahead and consider it a service to them. In the end you'll both benefit from it all the same.
You can use someone for motivation, but anytime you take steps to change yourself (weight loss, plastic surgery, whatever), the main reason should be for you.
The main person you should change for faces you in the mirror.
No... Doing something for someone has become labeled as "bad" because of jealous people of a more lazy nature.
Compare it to a man that holds a job to impress... you still disapprove? And if you do, we have no conversation to have. But if you don't... maybe.
It's a good motivational tool, but you also have to do it for yourself... otherwise if things don't work out with that person, you will give up and fall back into bad habits... and possibly worse if you were overly invested in this person. Losing the weight will benefit you in so many ways, don't let 1 guy be the only deciding motivation.
Thereās nothing wrong with being motivated to lose weight or get healthier/better looking for someone else.
I mean.. itās āforā someone else in that itās to be more appealing to them but at the end of the day, itās for your own benefit. I see no harm in that!
If itās also what you want then why not. If said person is making you feel bad about your weight and says you need to be thinner, then Iād rethink it.
But make sure it is something you really want to, because itās a big lifestyle change. To be able to stick with such a change you have to really want it for yourself.
It depends, is it your decision or are you being made to feel like you should?
Because if it's your decision then yes perfectly right and reasonable to want to look like your best for someone you love dearly
But if you're being made to feel like you should lose weight then no. That's not a healthy relationship.
I wouldn't say it is wrong but questionable because loosing weight is a good thing but why only for someone else?
I mean you should treat yourself with respect and part of this means you are not treating yourself well and want to for someone else's sake.
Don't get me wrong it is great that you found a motivation to be more healthy but ask yourself why for that person and not for yourself and make sure you also do it for your own sake.
I believe you can do it and good luck.
Well in my view irrespective to whether you doing it for the sake of the person or voluntarily it is still morally wrong to do things for someone or for the sake of it.
You should only lose weight if you realize the drawbacks of weighing more and if you have the motivation and the determination to lose weight.
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