I´m a guy but I can relate to this problem. I think the biggest problem is that people stop communicating in person with each other but instead communicate online. I think that´s a problem because that way the bodylanguage gets lost. Without the bodylanguage things I say or write are received differently by the other person. Bragging and making false promises is a lot easier doing it online than in a face to face situation. Because dating is online also possible. We, guys, stop abroaching girls/females and we stop understanding what they want and need. I would never talk the way about sexual fantasies like I did while online-dating on a real date. I think both sexes lost a way of communication and understanding for the other´s needs while blaming the other one. The reason men are the way they are, the reason why they have these problems is because they don´t who they want to be and who they should be. Whereas in earlier times when there was no internet guys learned about females and there needs and wishes through dancing classes or by dating nowadays many guys learn through movies or porn. Because we live in a world where we can live our life in comfort in front of the Computer or other electronic media we became lazy. The problem isn´t that no one showed us how to approach women, the problem is more that we feel like we don´t need to approach them because you can pleasured in a brothel or through dating apps especially for that. The other problem is that guys misunderstand or tend to tell themselves that because of emancipation and the equality of genders girls could start approaching them if they really want a relationship. I´m not saying girls shouldn´t or aren´t allowed to do so, but that way we guys get even lazier. Yes it´s tearsome and it´s not easy to approach a woman but that shouldn´t stop us from trying. I can´t say I´m good at it, I can´t tell you how to do it but I´m still trying to talk with women on the streets and I´m still hoping to find a woman that way.
Because the onus is on men to approach women (or else stay single for life) women act very cold and indifferent to men when they come say hello because they get approached by too many men and thus tell all but the most attractive men to fuck off. This then results in men being nervous and trying too hard to impress women which is a massive turnoff.
If approaching the other gender was 50/50 most of the problems in dating for both genders would disappear. Men would have more options and become more confident knowing they have opportunities to not live most of their lives like hermits, and women would get naturally confident guys approaching them as well as being able to choose the guys to interact with when they approach (because if many girls were approaching guys, girls wouldn't fear coming across as desperate and would actually learn to not be socially retarded instead of just relying on their boobs hanging out of their low cut dress to get guys).
The ability to listen to and comfort your partner about their perspective instead of trying to prescribe a solution to your own diagnosis of their problem. A lot of people (and our work place culture) glorify "problem-solving" but this doesn't always make people feel emotionally supported.
People want someone who is compassionate and is with them "on their side" because in a world with thousands of stories, we want to feel that ours is the one worth listening to. A lot of guys think that "solving someone's work or social problem" makes them better... only at the expense of your partner feeling dismissed, that their feelings about a topic/situation are less important than everyone else's. Sometimes we don't want to always do the "right thing", and we don't want our partners being that parental voice of morality. We want our partners to be our friend with whom we can vent, laugh, and cry.
When people are ready to hear a solution, they will ask for your thoughts (aka your opinions) on the matter. A lot of less mature guys readily jump to this last step because they automatically assume that their opinions are "more objective" or "more logical" or "more neutral" and thinking that you are "more [anything]" automatically makes your partner feel they are "less." Partners want to feel as equals so checking yourself and your responses really does go a long way in maintaining that trust and equilibrium.
Relationship problem solving is a different process of problem solving, and I just wish more men understood how sometimes the skill sets you learn in other aspects of life can put you in a disadvantage in other areas, which is okay, but we can recognize our own thought patterns and recognize the impact it has on another person (was it supportive or from your own perspective).
First of all, I love men.
The main problems I have with them are the following:
#1 them feeling like I have expectations/like they've got big shoes to fill
Whenever I tell someone about my exes/about the men I was influenced the most by, this stops more or less, but before that, things are prettty awkward. I'm not sure why this is the case, probably I've just met more insecure men than other people.
#2 them feeling like it's okay to be extreme machos
I don't like when guys do that. I want to be able to say what's on the tip of my tongue, but some men have told me to shut up, to stop being so cheeky/naughty/sassy when all I wanted was to be honest with them. This whole "shut up"/"don't say that"/"you're a girl, start acting like one and be quiet" is something I deeply despise, simply because I want to be treated with respect. That's understandable too I believe.
#3 them not respecting my personal space
Luckily, this one is easy to avoid turning into a problem. I always make sure to use a lot of big gestures when I meet someone for the first time; this shows them that if they're too close to me, they will risk being slapped in the face (accidentally) eventually. Also, when I feel comfortable enough around others, I will straight up tell people that I need a lot of personal space, both physically and emotionally.
Opinion
17Opinion
Some not all men are too busy assuming about women off of either past relationships or asshat assumptions of other men. . Thinking women are looking for men to support them when done women are just looking for a man to love them...
And also, some men keep saying women have nothing to offer/bring to the table these days, but we shouldn't be treating people as just expectations... The things I'll do for my partner/relationship I'll ldo for someone that deserves it, not because it's considered"A role I HAVE TO FULFILL"...
I'm a traditional woman in some sense. I like when a man pays for the first few dates, makes surprises for me, and generally, shows he cares about me. Because then I will show it back. Today, men my age or 5 years older (I'm 21), don't have that (mostly, there are exceptions). So I tend to like older guys (they can be jerks, too, so this really depends) who are educated and know what they're doing in life. Also, with that, I like a man who doesn't necessarily goes with a crowd and thinks his own head and has plans for the future. And please don't be cocky and take too many selfies.
Well there are all kinds of men with their own set of problems. No body is perfect whether man or woman. The thing what I have stopped is I've started to listen when men speak to me. People give clues about themselves everytime.
The thing that I have just stopped doing is that to think I am going to change this xyz thinking. For example- if a guy says that he's not looking for something serious then I'll keep in account this xyz person doesn't want anything serious instead of I'm going to change this statement of his.
Everyone comes with their own set of problems. We have to listen our potential partner and then think if we are fine with solving problems that is attached to this guy. Love is not looking into each others eye but looking at the same direction.
Dating?
There has been some area that are lacking in the following:
- romance since most are into casual or pretending they’re a relationshipy type of person/good guy
- being a gentlemen and being what he said he is
- lead and action
- engagement to carry and connect
- respectful and consideration of what a woman said and wants, not just his own
- authenticity
- some may have no ambition, passion, or open mindness
- stability (emotionally, mentally, living style, or financially)
Extreme engagement of sexual stuff too early on including exes or other women... no women wants/likes that if she’s a relationshipy type of gal. Guys should just do that with casual girls who don’t really care, so they will be on the same page.
And not being able to handle the same taste of his own medicine ☝🏻
Problems? Depends on the man. Each is an individual with whom brings a different past and experiences. My current interest that I’ve been seeing is guarded because of past relationships. That’s my only “problem”. Men are interesting creatures and I appreciate those I’m attracted to/interested in.
I guess for me it’s how guys behave in the predating phase that hurt woman
1 - Acting like your boyfriend and girlfriend without first asking if your into being in a relationship or getting angry when your turned down and trying to punish them for doing so
2 - Liking them but also liking other girls and hitting on other girls too after they begin to grow on you so that you feel jealous
3 - Hurting you either with delayed or scattered and inconsistent signs of interest or rejecting you in a hurtful and rude way because of things beyond your control like they want somebody with a more pointy nose or bigger eyes or shorter body or less wrinkles or a softer voice
For the men in my past, I would say they just didn't know how to treat a girl, you thought after you buy a girl a meal she owes you sex or a kiss or something which is worse but, besides that, I would say that men have never really had to think about things from a women's perspective some of them think it dick size that won't make them stay when the reality is it's just your poor attitude besides all that the size obsession with having a bigger dick like they'll make you 100x times better at sex (when there's real proof it won't)
Literally every female response.
Different opinions not one is shared across them clearly showing they just nitpick at anything there's not a clear problem if there was they'd all have said the same thing.
They also go "every guy..."
Meanwhile, if a guy says...
Guy: Every girl I talk to just treats me horribly.
Girl: OMG you shouldn't just label every girl bad just because met one bad egg every girl is different.
Now you see that is where the problem is.
Not all men but I've came across a few who are completely unable to listen to others or take responsibility for their actions. They can't amit their wrong and get very angry and aggressive when people tell them they are. They think what they say goes and believe their own bs. That's the issue i have with a lot of men that I don't like.
Depending on who you talk to,
Not masculine enough, strong enough, rich enough, not in shape, not successful enough
Although us men are partly to blame for this 😂😂😂😂
Every girl has a father and that father can have just as much influence over her choice as she does. So while she is picking out dates she is thinking partly of his approval too 😂
And being a father, you are going to look for the best possible person for your daughter
I would say it’s their mother’s. They see their mothers tolerate crap from men and it’s as if they assume that’s how women want to be treated. Your lucky if he’s come from good stock but screwed if his mother was a doormat and allowed the man/ men in her life treat her like scum. Men want to emulate what their mummy’s had as it’s the only constant of what they’ve known.
Some (not all!) men cannot control themselves around women. It’s kind of pathetic in my opinion. Everyone is all about having a big ass and tits because that’s what men want. I have a decent ass but my tits aren't the biggest, and I’ll see my boyfriend check out other women that are bigger than me. Makes me super self conscious.
Women’s critiques of men are mostly retarded and can be blamed on them all chasing the 15% of super hot guys who will never be tied down and who have literal harems. Ladies you will always be disappointed if you follow this path. Your criticisms do not apply to most men, only the very few you chase.
as a man my main criticism of men is that the top 15% are fucking assholes with no respect for women, and the rest have too much damn respect for em, treat em unreasonably well and get stomped all over in return.
My biggest problem is that so many of them act like they have no feelings when it comes to liking someone and some still think it's the 1950s apparently and think women should be virginal housewives. Oh and the lack of honesty but that's more of an every gender thing.
lol you asked so imma answer. Most guys when they're around women they like, they tend to treat other girls really terribly which is really douchey. I know girls do this too, but I noticed guys do this more. They'd always help the hot girl even if she's wrong.
In my opinion, the men my age (little more than boys honestly) are not willing to take charge and lead. They are to be the head of the house, but an out lead on much of anything. Our current society crushes both femininity and masculinity.
I feel like the majority of men that I have encountered were essentially only interested in sex. If they got sex, it’s hard to keep guys from ghosting. If he realizes that she isn’t gonna have sex as easily/soon as he wants, then he basically kicks her to the side and finds a new girl.
My main problem , they do stupid thing , not listing and always want to argue. That how must have my past relationship. by the way just because girl is hot is doesn't mean you can be stupid piece of shit. use your brain if you had one and not with your dick
The main problems are that, by and large, men have adapted to the new reality where most women want equality except when it comes to paying for things, causing a lot to forgo relationships, while sex is so easy to get that marriage, unless you are a TradCon or heavily influenced by them, seems unnecessary.
Not raised the right way, don't have their priorities right. It's partly the parents fault, partly the media... Society as a whole basically.
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