I understand why women might be scared. Whenever I’m walking at night and I happen to be behind a woman, I just automatically cross the street to make her feel safe.
I'd say the Freddy Krueger fish knife glove must be working, or maybe it's the Michael Myers carving knife I'm carrying in the opposite hand, or that guy by silver lake, who inspired the machete I got strapped to my back. In any case,
I totally understand the caution, and I respect that. It doesn't make me sad, though. It's just a fact of life, and I don't begrudge the other person trying to keep themselves safe. I would likely do the same, in their situation.
When I walk alone at night, I'm always aware of who's nearby, what they're doing, etc. Humans may be civilised compared to other species, but we're still predators. It's wise to not forget that.
I kind of get it. But I still hate being seen that way. It makes me feel justified in treating women different for certain things. When they can stop crossing the street to avoid me, I'll reconsider my own position on the things they complain about.
Because I don't like awkward situations. So I avoid them.
Look: best case scenario, I see a girl walking towards me, I look her in the eyes, I smile, she smiles back, I keep walking, and then... I feel the sinking hole in the pit of my stomach. I feel miserable and depressed and worthless and dead inside. And I spend the rest of the day -- or possibly the rest of the week -- second-guessing myself and wondering what I could have said to make the situation turn out differently. I agonize over what clever line I could have hypothetically come up with to make a connection and get her number and avoid the fate of what is my actual current reality, which is that I will never see her again. (... So then what's the point? I would have been better off never seeing her at all. Hence the more reasonable decision to cross to the other side of the street and ignore her.)
That's a really interesting explanation, Jamie. I totally get it. (Probably not the best strategy, for a guy who is interesting in meeting someone, but on an emotional level, makes perfect sense.)
Which may seem like a platitude, but it is basically a skill to remain positive. I think the first step is to develop a sense of contentment with the environment around you. That in itself might be an effort, but it is worth focusing on.
@Nobodycares I'm all for having a positive attitude. But please explain to me the logic behind that attitude in this scenario. To me, positivity has to at least be based on a mathematical and/or scientific possibility.
I don’t care what they think. I have definitely had people stop in that “oh shit” kind of way in front of me and turn around. I have had women ask if they can walk with me or stay close behind on a dark city street as they trusted me with my girlfriend and wanted to be close. But sometimes it annoyed my girlfriend.
i dont give a fuck if someone is scared of me, i like taking long walks during the night, and if someone gets scared of me, fine, that way they dont bother me, the only thing i dont want is getting into troubles bc somebody mistaken me for another guy
I usually don't think about it but, if someone gets scared of me (while I'm most likely one of the less scary men), it would probably make me chuckle and I would be tempted to mess with them because you would really have to be paranoid to be scared of me in my opinion. I would be tempted to do something like that if the fear is exaggerated :
It's just, usually, I can feel when someone is being fearful and I tend to "passively mimic vibes" a lot so seeing someone afraid could make me tense, uneasy and I cope with that the same way I have learnt to cope with fear of monsters in the dark when I was a kid : what if I am the monster in the dark?
That coping mechanism has allowed me to not feel so powerless and to feel more in control in such situations when I was a kid and I use a similar strategy in situations like being alone in the streets at night. Now I would not actually try to scare people nor purposely try to give off a creepy/dangerous vibe, but it could be funny to mess with someone or a group that is overly paranoid.
I've never been steered clear. Anyone who walks by Me seems to be calm. I expect it's because of my Open, Goofy demeanor. I try to be a nice person. I suppose it shows.
short... having a penis doesn't make you a threat, i am very uncomfortable with the fact that this idea is being push by some women. But I understand to avoid people at night depending on the situation and place, being a man i do it to also to women (you girls are not harmless), basically depending on a previous danger assessment, but no by general rule.
At night im paranoid anybody trying hit lick on me. I dont leave my house without gun or knife. I avoid other people out at night so if they avoid me id prefer that.
I never even thought about this. As long as it doesn't impact my finances it does not bother me. Besides I'm a ghost and I have been one my whole life.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
77Opinion
I understand why women might be scared. Whenever I’m walking at night and I happen to be behind a woman, I just automatically cross the street to make her feel safe.
Why does this not surprise me at all. 💐
I'd say the Freddy Krueger fish knife glove must be working, or maybe it's the Michael Myers carving knife I'm carrying in the opposite hand, or that guy by silver lake, who inspired the machete I got strapped to my back.
In any case,
It feels pretty groovy.
None of the available options perfectly represent my feelings, so I didn't vote.
I'm a tall, physically imposing guy, so I totally understand the cauti
*stupid phone* as I was saying...
I totally understand the caution, and I respect that. It doesn't make me sad, though. It's just a fact of life, and I don't begrudge the other person trying to keep themselves safe. I would likely do the same, in their situation.
When I walk alone at night, I'm always aware of who's nearby, what they're doing, etc. Humans may be civilised compared to other species, but we're still predators. It's wise to not forget that.
I kind of get it. But I still hate being seen that way.
It makes me feel justified in treating women different for certain things.
When they can stop crossing the street to avoid me, I'll reconsider my own position on the things they complain about.
Me being avoided is actually compliment to me. I'm anti social so if people are avoiding me , it only benefits me.
Besides , I dress specifically so that people avoid me.
I tend to avoid getting too close to show that I'm not a threat. It doesn't piss me off, I know I'm not an axe-murderer, they don't.
I never experience this, because I avoid women. I'M the one who crosses to the other side.
Why do you cross?
Because I don't like awkward situations. So I avoid them.
Look: best case scenario, I see a girl walking towards me, I look her in the eyes, I smile, she smiles back, I keep walking, and then... I feel the sinking hole in the pit of my stomach. I feel miserable and depressed and worthless and dead inside. And I spend the rest of the day -- or possibly the rest of the week -- second-guessing myself and wondering what I could have said to make the situation turn out differently. I agonize over what clever line I could have hypothetically come up with to make a connection and get her number and avoid the fate of what is my actual current reality, which is that I will never see her again. (... So then what's the point? I would have been better off never seeing her at all. Hence the more reasonable decision to cross to the other side of the street and ignore her.)
That's a really interesting explanation, Jamie. I totally get it.
(Probably not the best strategy, for a guy who is interesting in meeting someone, but on an emotional level, makes perfect sense.)
Thanks for understanding, Amanda. <3
Positive attitude helps in that regard
Which may seem like a platitude, but it is basically a skill to remain positive. I think the first step is to develop a sense of contentment with the environment around you. That in itself might be an effort, but it is worth focusing on.
@Nobodycares I'm all for having a positive attitude. But please explain to me the logic behind that attitude in this scenario. To me, positivity has to at least be based on a mathematical and/or scientific possibility.
I don’t care what they think. I have definitely had people stop in that “oh shit” kind of way in front of me and turn around. I have had women ask if they can walk with me or stay close behind on a dark city street as they trusted me with my girlfriend and wanted to be close. But sometimes it annoyed my girlfriend.
i dont give a fuck if someone is scared of me, i like taking long walks during the night, and if someone gets scared of me, fine, that way they dont bother me, the only thing i dont want is getting into troubles bc somebody mistaken me for another guy
Nice attitude.
thanks i know
Most of the time you don't notice it happening. But at night you do and you feel like crap but you realise it's not personal and get over it.
I usually don't think about it but, if someone gets scared of me (while I'm most likely one of the less scary men), it would probably make me chuckle and I would be tempted to mess with them because you would really have to be paranoid to be scared of me in my opinion. I would be tempted to do something like that if the fear is exaggerated :
https://www.youtube.com/embed/h2DZrRLohGkThat video is funny.
But don't you dare do that!
It's just, usually, I can feel when someone is being fearful and I tend to "passively mimic vibes" a lot so seeing someone afraid could make me tense, uneasy and I cope with that the same way I have learnt to cope with fear of monsters in the dark when I was a kid : what if I am the monster in the dark?
That coping mechanism has allowed me to not feel so powerless and to feel more in control in such situations when I was a kid and I use a similar strategy in situations like being alone in the streets at night. Now I would not actually try to scare people nor purposely try to give off a creepy/dangerous vibe, but it could be funny to mess with someone or a group that is overly paranoid.
Ok, well said. I concur.
I've never been steered clear. Anyone who walks by Me seems to be calm. I expect it's because of my Open, Goofy demeanor. I try to be a nice person. I suppose it shows.
short... having a penis doesn't make you a threat, i am very uncomfortable with the fact that this idea is being push by some women. But I understand to avoid people at night depending on the situation and place, being a man i do it to also to women (you girls are not harmless), basically depending on a previous danger assessment, but no by general rule.
I chose option D, because this isn't something that I've ever observed.
I don't think I ever spend a second worrying about what some random stranger is thinking about me, when I go for a walk.
At night im paranoid anybody trying hit lick on me. I dont leave my house without gun or knife. I avoid other people out at night so if they avoid me id prefer that.
Being avoided only bothers me if I actually need said persons help for a task.
Other than that I don't care.
I never even thought about this.
As long as it doesn't impact my finances it does not bother me.
Besides I'm a ghost and I have been one my whole life.
Women probably can't even see me 😂
Can't see you hiding in the bushes
I don't really care, I'm not a wolf, I'm a sheepdog and people thinking I'm a wolf won't change it. When the day comes for me to prove it, I will