Why is no sex a deal breaker for men?

[Anonymous]

I just read a question in Quora about this. A girl had a boyfriend break up with her because she wanted to wait until marriage for sex and she was a virgin.
Do men really not like the girl? If you like someone’s personality you should wait until they are ready for sex. Why break up with a girl when you want to have sex and she doesn’t want to?
I met men that offered that I live with them but the moment I don’t seem into sex I was out. They were bad older men too but I wonder if that’s the majority now. I think they are rushing into fire and it’s naive to think a woman will like you enough after just meeting you for sex. It doesn’t seem right.

Updates

+1 y

I think sex is such a journey because of the emotional side to it. Adding sex can really hurt someone to a relationship if they aren’t on the same page and the pain can last a decade. It can distract you from life and cause you to make mistakes. The wrong sex or values can send you into reliving it. For love men pressure women into this possible eternal self esteem lowerer. Bad sex can make that man want to not be with the woman anymore because he was too hasty it was bad. Why so in a hurry?

Updates

+1 y

And also. She is a virgin. And marriage would of meant sex forever so again it makes no sense. I guess these men are stupid.

[talover]

Here's my take. There is love and then there is - lust.
By definition love is selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional. If a woman or a man, wants to wait before giving themselves over to the most intimate act between two persons,
who are we to impose our differing view? This can be a moral decision or just a preference. Either way, love will wait. Lust will not.

Let me share my personal experience. I was not a virgin when I met my future wife. I had been sexually active since my sophomore year in High School. By time I met my future wife, I had been with multiple partners. All of them were open to sex. I never imposed or violated any of their wishes. But when I met this new girl, now my wife, she made it clear very early in our dating that she was not going to be sexually active with me. By this point in our early dating relationship, I knew she was not like any other girl I had been with in the past, and this talk really pronounced why she was different. She had higher moral values than all the previous girls I was with, and higher moral standards than I. In our talk about this I didn't really know how to process this new set of information about her, but I reluctantly agreed.

As time passed, I grew incredibly fond of her behavior, attitude, mindset, kindness, generosity and so on. And then one day like a lightbulb switch clicking in my head, I realized this woman wasn't dating me for dating sake. It wasn't for the purpose of changing her social status among her friends or relatives. Dating wasn't a game to her, or a temporary fix to her loneliness. Dating for her, was to find her future husband. She made it clear she wanted a loyal, humble, protective, faithful and loving man. Was that me? Or would she eventually break it off because I wasn't good enough for her?

She was way out of my league. By looks, for sure, but also by every other measure of character. In the two years of dating, she made me a better man. She made me a better person. And over time, she taught me what true love is.

We are now 12 years married, happy and faithful to one another, which was something I didn't think I could do. If a guy can't wait to have sex with you and leaves you; you didn't lose a damn thing - he did.

[Finchie40]

Because most girls use it as a weapon , Us guys are wired to want sex , it’s in our genes we are born this way we can’t help it , if we are with a girl we really like and we feel she is with holding sex from us it’s a turn off to us cuz we feel she really doesn’t value us , We have feelings also and want to feel wanted , Most girls will use sex as a weapon to get what they want from men , Waiting for marriage to us is pointless to us considering we aren’t going to marry a girl to find out that she is horrible in bed and then we are stuck with her , Sex is very important in a relationship no matter what people say , Relationships that lack sex end up falling apart , why do you think so much cheating and affairs occur? It’s cuz 1 partner is not fulfilling their partner , and the 1 partner feels they aren’t wanted or respected , This happens to Guys and Girls , Nowadays More Girls are using sex for money which is pathetic , So many girls have Only Fans accounts and making a shit ton of money from sucking in desperate guys , A normal guy with morals doesn’t want to pay a girl for sex there is no real connection there , This world has gone to hell in a hand basket , Marriages are becoming a thing of the past cuz no one really values anyone from the heart anymore , people have become more selfish and only really care about themselves , so for a guy to stay with a girl without sex and waiting until they are married , I feel sorry for him Cuz he is one desperate guy , She can decide he isn’t good in bed and turn around and leave him , so what is the point?

[Johnagain]

Five thumbs up! Exactly! "Most girls will use sex as a weapon to get what they want from men..."
For the lustful, It's just as frustrating to hold out for the good dance, which is what good sex is like, than to play with the other stuff that goes on in relationships. "... so what is the point?"

[Anonymous]

I don’t get it either. I’m 25 and a virgin, not necessarily for religious reasons, but I wasn’t in a good place (obesity and major depression) from 16-24, therefore men didn’t approach me.

I don’t mind giving my virginity to a guy outside of marriage, but the thing is it needs to be the right person. I feel men’s main priority while talking to women is sex, while mine is a relationship and sex is a perk of it. I don’t want to waste a guy’s time or my time if we both aren’t aiming for a long term monogamous relationship. Men should be communicating if they just want sex from a woman. The problem is they don’t until it reaches the point that they want sex from you and if you don’t give it, it ends.

I don’t want to have sex with a guy immediately to make him happy, if he won’t be in my life a few months later and is off to the next woman. I don’t want to sleep with multiple men in order to find a boyfriend. I don’t want to be with a guy who treats me like I’m special when it’s just a tactic to have sex with me. I don’t hate or dislike sex, I know I’d enjoy it. I don’t want to be casual with someone hoping for a relationship when that’s never their intention. I simply don’t want to give it to a man if sex is all he wants from me or his #1 priority, because it’s likely he’s not interested in a relationship.

[gabriel85]

Congrats! Very nice.

[Hallo626262]

You understand that men who aproacg you are more likely to only want sex compared to men who don't?

[Asker]

As someone said real men who are self confident are great because they are more respectful than losers. If you ever feel like they are barging in in anyway in your conversation or boundaries than they are not respectful. You don’t want a guy to look you in the eye and force you to give him directions to the bathroom. Pretend when a man asks you for sex or time that he’s talking about a daily thing and see if you like how he asks you. I wish I’d known this.

[CookiesAndCream2]

That's not all men and why things like standards are important. And developing a rapport with someone before anything else.

Boys trapped in adult bodies & losers will eternally want cheap fucks, easy sluts & free prostitutes. There's enough women with little to no standards & self-respect to appease them and leave these loser men to find these loser women. As the old saying goes birds of a feather flock together.

Decent men, actual men - self confident, assured, etc. - not boys in adult bodies, are more respectful than losers. It's why decent women don't waste their time with losers.

[Hallo626262]

A loser is someone who waited for marriage.

[InkRat_]

I love the way you shit on other woman whos view on sex are the same as yours. I personally could not care less how many partners she had. On the other hand i dont want to date wirgin, they are pain in ass to deal with.

[Asker]

I think the most important thing that you said here was that actual self confident men are more respectful than losers. You’re right that’s the first major noticeable difference. There isn’t any pressure. I have found one. He has a girlfriend. But I am hoping he breaks up with her. He did not accept my advances before I knew and wants to talk. No brush offs.

[CookiesAndCream2]

@Hallo626262 Says the loser who'll never have a decent woman

[CookiesAndCream2]

@InkRat_ I am not shitting on woman with the same view of sex as me dimwit but sluts

[Novacane]

I think the reason behind that is the difference between what makes a friendship and a relationship. The primary difference between a relationship and a friendship is the idea of sex, yes people will say "you can have sex with friends" which is true but you are not having sex with all your friends it's usually the one that you tend to have some type of feelings for. Back to it men get into relationships for the exclusivity have sex with that person, so if there is no sex then that's just a friendship and why would men stick to that when they can find someone that would give them that.

NOW I completely understand if the girl is waiting till marriage and is a virgin, that makes sense, then you should respect those wishes and if you want to continue then you will have to wait and if not then leave. But there are women out there that will have sex with randoms but for a potential person they tend to withhold sex which doesn't make sense

But I think that goes both ways if a girl is sexually active and gets with a guy who withholds sex she might be okay after a while but the longer she waits she will eventually go out and look for it considering that she can get it when she wants.

[lightbulb27]

We've pushed the age of marriage well past the peak hormone times for males to accomodate education. That means they have to wait, and it's torture. The hormones are driving the interest.

We've removed so many pillars of value training... religious conviction, parental training, fathers are missing from wars and jail, and broken relationships. Our morales and values have declined. Society adopted all kinds of garbage in the 1960's.

I was virgin well into 40's. I waited, some guys do, some don't... especially the ones that have the power with females. So... could it be you are "barking up the wrong trees"?

I can tell you that stuff gets really messed up waiting around... can't do that forever when have a girlfriend. At more mature ages, the girls can't wait as their hormones are raging. They want to make out and and all that, but that causes the ignition of mating. The guy ends up with blue balls and pain. Not fair.

So to be fair, how about this... court the other person, no contact as you get to know each other, no exposure to opposite sex and sexuality, no kissing. Major point... gotta shut off all the imposition of sexuality from society (movies, music, your female colleagues flaunting their stuff).. it's a big problem. Decide to marry or else move on within a year. That would help alleviate the issue.

[Hairylegs222]

You weren't specific with what type of sex. I assume you mean vaginal sex that takes away her virginity. What about other types of sex other than vaginal sex?

My longest relationship was with a virgin. She wanted to wait to have vaginal sex until after marriage and I totally respected/accepted that. We still did other sexual things together though. Blowjobs, fingering, handjobs, etc.

If there's nothing sexual going on when dating, than it's just friends still. When you open up that intimate side to your partner and be sexual, that's where the relationship begins.

If you meant dating with nothing sexual at all until marriage and expect a man (or women) to be ok with that... lol being just friends until marriage is not how it works.

Also it doesn't matter to me how her sexual performance is because we work together and get to know each other. Keep trying and it gets better and better each ttime. That's part of what a relationship is. This is commenting on the bad sex thing you said.

[Lliam]

If a girl told me that she was saving herself for marriage, I'd move on immediately. She's holding sex as an incentive to sign a legally binding contract. It's coercive. No woman is worth that.

I never had any interest in sexually inhibited women. I think it's immature, naive, unrealistic and, frankly, insufferable to think a woman's pussy is an immaculate flower that is spoiled if used. I doubt if a woman like that would ever be a good sexual partner.

I never dated a virgin and never cared to. I like women who love men, love being female, and have strong libidos. I respect a woman who has healthy values, self esteem, takes care of her body, is cautious about her health, and doesn't jump into bed until she knows and trusts a man. But she can remain a shriveled up old maid forever if she thinks I'm going to marry her before having sex.

I like a woman who goes out and seizes life enthusiastically, takes risks, has fun, engages in relationships and gives 100% to making them work, knowing that relationships are about trial and error and sometimes don't work out. If they don't, you keep trying until you find your perfect partner. It's about trial and error. In the search, you gain experience and maturity. It's called life.

Neither my wife nor I were virgins when we found each other. Not by a long shot. We've been married now for 25 years.

[Anonymous]

Every guy is different (and only that specific guy can tell you his reason (s)), but a couple of possibilities are he doesn't believe waiting is right (as strongly as she believes waiting until marriage is), or, he doesn't want marriage either or doesn't believe in it.

Personally, I would respect her decision (I've dated a girl who felt this way), however I also believe the opposite, that it's a big mistake to wait until marriage. It's part of getting to know them and if you're sexually compatible as well as compatible in general (something I don't think people take seriously enough as "mattering", especially women). I also don't believe you have to be married to live "happily ever after" or "prove" commitment. We did end up breaking up, not solely for this reason, but it was one of them. That doesn't mean I didn't care about her, I did very much and still do. But we could say the same thing, if she liked him, why wouldn't she (if he should have to wait)? You see? Goes both ways.

[MrOracle]

Why is no sex a deal breaker for men?Because, at that point, you're just friends. Nothing more.

You are looking for all of the BENEFITS of a romantic relationship with none of the RESPONSIBILITIES. You want to take, but not give. And, that's fine - you can want what you like, but most men are not going to have any interest in your "offer."

Here's my offer: come to my house, cook and clean for me, mow my lawn, prune my trees, clean my rain gutters, paint my house, maintain my car - and *I* will talk to you for a while and give you a hug when you leave. Isn't that a TERRIFIC offer? I'll be expecting you to start on Monday.

What? My offer sounds completely one-sided to you? That I'm getting all the benefits and you're doing all the work? Imagine that...

[kery123]

My ideal of a romantic partnership includes working towards a common purpose, encourage and supporting each other's growth and ambitions, having intellectually stimulating conversations, etc.

Your idea of a partnership sounds shallow af.

[spartan55]

@kery123
Clearly you've never been in one if you think that's shallow. So what's the benefit for the guy?

[kery123]

@spartan55 The type of guy I want in a relationship is someone who will be my best friend, - someone who also wants a partner to motivate him, support him, encourage him in his ambitions, offer him advice, share meaning in life, travel together, discover places, eventually raise high quality children, etc.

I am in such a relationship. We're both very driven, intellectual individuals. We don't have physical sex because I'm waiting for marriage, though we sext a lot.

[kery123]

@spartan55 We both make enough money to get a maid and hire a painter.

[spartan55]

@kery123
I don't get how your incomes are relevant to this discussion, but whatever. You are one those people that think money defines you. Great. Sounds like you have a great buddy/yes man. So was the no sex thing his idea?

[MrOracle]

@kery123 if you worked in a bakery, and a customer came in and asked for a traditional white wedding cake, as a baker, you'd know that there are many ways you could make that cake unique. You could change the shape, the height, the number of layers, the filling, the icing, and so on. But the cake itself REQUIRES certain things: flour, sugar, salt, eggs, butter, baking powder. If you are missing any one of those items, you don't have the cake the customer ordered, and the fillings or toppings or shapes are irrelevant.

For the vast majority of men, sex is a REQUIRED ingredient in a romantic relationship (and for most women as well) - it's certainly not the ONLY required ingredient, but it is among the required ingredients. You may feel differently, and that's fine, and you've managed to find a guy who agrees with you, but you (and he) are very much the exception, not the rule.

[kery123]

@spartan55 He's a traditional man, incredibly masculine and has been with multiple women before me. We're in love with each other and he respects my decision to wait for marriage, because he knows I am in love with him and desire him deeply, and sex is something that will definitely be explosive once we begin having it, but it isn't why we chose to spend our lives together. He loves my mix of innocence and uninhibited sluttiness when we phone sex, that alone drives him wild.

[spartan55]

@kery123
In other words, it was all your idea. He would fuck you in a second if you wanted to.

[N192K001]

Demographics of men differ, so this only applies to certain groups, while not for others (like those socially- and/or religiously-conservative).

For some (myself included), we can see benefit in self-restraint in terms of ourselves and/or in terms of the socio-cultural ripple-effects of more people holding-on to the traditional standard.

For others, that is not the case.

So, it's generally best to find candidates whose worldviews, philosophy, priorities, and values are reasonably similar (or bear-minimum: 'compatible').

[noohair]

The ancient character of the male is to hunt, for food. That characteristic also bleeds over into the desire to spread their genetics to future generations. We have come a long way culturally, but some guys see it as a contest. Don't play their game. Go with what you feel is correct and find someone that you can try to make a life with.

[Asker]

Thank you. If I keep going against what I want anyway I couldn’t be happy

[Jlegacy]

I'm not even going to kiss my girl until marriage. I love the way God scheduled sex and God is the wisest person.



There was a man who loved his sister and wanted to be with her so deeply. The love evaporated after sex. This is how disastrous premarital sex is.


Every sexual relationship I had, never satisfied me in any way. Not emotionally or even sexually and not spiritually.


My favorite past relationships are the ones without sex.
My girl is also for sex after marriage and she is a virgin. I'm not even kissing her beautiful lips until I say "I do" before God, Jesus and all the innumerable angels. I love her this much.

[ILLuMiiNaTi]

Everyone says the same untill they get a girlfriend..

[Jlegacy]

You make it sound like I have no girlfriend.

I do have a girlfriend and I'm not touching her until it is okay in God's eyes.

Not the first girl I like that I never touched.

[ILLuMiiNaTi]

That sounds wonderful Man. Good wishes for you !

[Jlegacy]

Thanks Chief

[Anonymous]

If a guy loves you then yeah he’ll wait. People think waiting is easy for women because we apparently don’t get as horny haha. For me personally I want to wait and I can never just jump into that sort of thing.
First boyfriend cheated because I was waiting for marriage and he didn’t actually love me so he slept with someone else.
Guy I’m with now wants to wait for when I feel I want to do it, may it be after or before marriage, he cares about how I feel and never wants to do anything that makes me uncomfortable. Now to me this is real man.
This is my opinion from my experience with manyyyyyy shitty men. Don’t like my opinion or what I have to say? Keep scrolling and move on.

[pinedarose]

Yes that the true fact you said said

[ohshee]

Your right in a lot of ways. In a relationship where somebody wants to remain a virgin until being married you have to respect that at the same time there can be a compromise. You can have four play you can make out you can get each other off and it can be very very hot romantic passionate without penetration.
If I would have been that guy it was dating that girl I will talk to her about this and then I would ask her if she trusted me and she said yes then start with foreplay start making out touchy feely make each other feel good and then you can roll her over on top of me and I place her hits just right can I slowly slide her forward slowly slide her back slowly slide her forward slowly slide her back I would pull her hair down so I could kiss your lips or neck and that way when I slide her forward and back her clit is sliding on top have my cock there's all kinds of ways to please each other without having penetration sex but there has to be some sort of compromise

[Nik1hil]

Men are biologically programmed to ejaculate every 1hr 30 minutes...

Imagine the crazy urge you have to get pregnant or have sex a week before your periods...

We have that urge every 90 minutes...
Every 90 minutes our mind say..
" Find a pussy your body needs to put a Dick inside one.."

Women are emotional creatures. We as men cannot handle that...
But if it comes with rewards that our brain will no longer bully us by saying

" Find a pussy your body needs to put a Dick inside one.. "

if this stops we can deal with female drama..
But if we have to put up with female drama and also our brain keep saying every 90 minutes...

" Find a pussy your body needs to put a Dick inside one.."

That is a bad condition to be in..
Get tortured by both sides..
I would go in depression or lose my shit if I had to do both..

[Anonymous]

I think you need to find a man who has similar values with you. This case is not just for men. There are also women who think if the relationships don’t involve sex, they are like a friendship. So, you have right to have some values and find the man who has the same values. But no one can pressure you to do something. You have right not to have sex before marriage this is your life. If someone doesn’t accept you like this they can go wherever they want. Don’t change because of anyone else. There are men who don’t love the women and just try to manipulate them just sex so in order to get whatever he wants. The man you mentioned above can be the one. Or he is the one who has different values. We can not know until we know him. But don’t care anyone and live your life with your mindset and truths.

[Dragonstarterplus]

"If you like someone’s personality you should wait until they are ready for sex."

Weird how women always come up with this double standard of "if he liked her he would wait" and yet this logic never goes the other way for some reason. Anyway, the guy didn't want to wait YEARS for sex

Hell you yourself say "Adding sex can really hurt someone to a relationship if they aren’t on the same page and the pain can last a decade". So if you're the guy wouldn't you want to see if you're on the same page before you get married and it's much much much harder to go your separate ways?

[sd1223]

I had this problem too, it was a dealbreaker if I didn’t want to have sex, I wanted to wait until marriage. My last boyfriend I gave my virginity to but it wasn’t a dealbreaker if we didn’t have sex. He was chill about it. He didn’t pressure me at all. If someone is willing to break up with another person because they don’t want to have sex, they aren’t the person for you or maybe that’s all they were looking for in the first place. It’s so much more to a relationship than that, that’s just part of it.

[humpbackjack]

It’s a different belief someone that’s a virgin and is saving it for marriage needs to be with a man that appreciates that otherwise it’s a bad match on so many levels. I personally would respect her but there would be no reason to continue dating because if I was married I wouldn’t be looking to get married again so we wouldn’t be good together. There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin and there’s nothing wrong with have sex before marriage the only wrong thing about either one is you’re wrong for eachother

[InventorofWarp]

No sex would not affect me since I'm also 24 and waiting for the right girl and I'd need at least a few months to get comfortable with her.
However, no sex before marriage would definitely be a dealbreaker for me.
I dated a girl who was 37 and wanted to wait until marriage when I was 22 and back then I was still young enough that I felt I could hold off and I was a lot more naive. Now? No, never again. Sorry but I just can't put up that kind of commitment right off the bat, I'm not looking to get married until AT LEAST MAYBE 27-28 and I'm definitely not in the position to waste anymore time at this stage in my life.
You want a guy to wait until marriage? Go to church.
Otherwise, don't date in the real world with unrealistic expectations.

[Question_091]

I believe the discussion of sex and marriage should be discussed before the relationship goes any further. Not only that, but other core values that maybe considered "deal breakers" should also be sorted out before hand, such as number of kids, lifestyle, future goals, financial goals, etc.

I personally agree with waiting until marriage, so if a girl wanted sex before marriage, I would make that clear as early as possible that I will rather wait, and if she is not willing to, then the "relationship" can end on a difference of life choices rather than hurt feelings.

[Erin2003]

It’s about personal choice and that should be paramount. Still for any action (or lack of action) there is a reaction and that’s also about personal choice. In a normal, healthy relationship both parties should feel sexual attraction and desire sexual relations. Whether they act on those feelings is a different story (that is, moral standards and personal choice). If those feelings don’t exist at all then the relationship is likely doomed. in my opinion sex is something to be shared and not something to be preserved but in either case it should be treasured. I made certain decisions that weren’t always the best but I can’t change them and therefore have no regrets. An individual’s beliefs or preferences are there own. Right or wrong it doesn’t make them stupid.

[Pasiton5]

It's a macho thing or his ass just got some before getting tho you but dudes need to be more f open with their girl talk more about issues with their junk I mean when ain't got crap to worry about sexually you get to dry Vaseline safe boom your good but men stress, junk stays soft, tired soft, this on his mind yup call him limpy, it's hard on as dude to can destroy his confidence when he can't come to attention for you, mental it's all mental, you written you're like the Eveready rabbit just keep going and coming and going and coming, really not fair barking l Vaseline and you just go forever

[SunnyFlorida]

If a woman is a virgin and wishes to wait until marriage, then that's her business. If sex is important, the man will get it from another woman. The bigger problem is the fake-virgins or born-again-virgins who try to withhold sex to entice a man to get married.

If a woman is a virgin, I can respect her desire. If you marry a virgin, she may decide she hates sex the first time she has it or that sex is "dirty" - that's going to be a horrible relationship.

Truth about marriage...

Then there are born-again-virgins, women where were hoes, but wish to get married, so they withhold sex as a tool to get what they want. Best to leave those women and pursue someone else.

[Jamie05rhs]

Because a lot of men see sex as the main reason to be in a relationship with a woman in the first place.

And I kind of agree with their logic. I don't think they're necessarily wrong for feeling that way.

The problem is when you see that as all a woman is good for. If she can't bring you joy when she's not on your penis, then... Maybe you just want sex but not an actual woman. Not the entire package of the human being with a personality and a soul.

Here's the way I see it:. Yes, a woman should give sex within a relationship. But the man should be willing to wait for that sex. He should earn it by proving himself.

I personally won't have sex with a woman until I marry her. I want to make sure she's the one before I give that part of myself away; and I want to give her time to make sure I'm the one as well.

[just_a_potato]

Beautifully worded

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks, @just_a_potato! :)

[MCheetah]

It's not a dealbreaker, but the answer is simple: hormones. Men have certain biological urges that need to be met. If he's dating someone and still has to jerk off to get those needs met, she really isn't bringing much to his life that simply being a friend couldn't bring, is she?

[Asker]

So this was harsh. But as someone currently interested in a guy with a girlfriend I find this encouraging... it seems that it’s a very important role for women to play to a large number of men here.

[bamesjond0069]

Waiting for marriage with a virgin and having a girlfriend who just doesn't want to have sex much are two totally different things.

If your girlfriend or wife doesn't want to have sex regularly she's worthless because the primary purpose of a woman is sex and reproduction. Im sure hed rather live with his best bro instead of some girl he's not fucking.

The virgin... yeah that guy doesn't like the girl that much or doesn't want to marry. So thats good he ran off. Thats the whole point of waiting to marriage, only your true love will stick around and all the others will run off.

[Johnson124]

The primary purpose of women is not sex and reproduction. Please don't say this again, it's totally wrong

[bamesjond0069]

@Johnson124 if its totally wrong then why dont you say what the primary purpose is?

[btbc92]

Asker, do not bother. Ask God to help guide you if a man is what you seeking and God will be forever faithful. It is best to date and be with men who share your values and desire the same besides being compatible. They were not sexually compatible because he already experienced a woman. And now he don't respect her virginity.

[InkRat_]

For a love of what ever good you are worshipping, please stop mention it in argument that have nothing to do with religion.

[btbc92]

@InkRat_ @CasaNorba I am not the problem, I LOVE PEOPLE. It is a problem to LOVE YOU? Or do you want me to HATE you? You must want that. Because it is clear you people know nothing about love. You reject it. Then you blame others for YOUR problems. So, if I am the problem. My problem THEN, is giving my LOVE, MY HEART to a PERSON who has shown he is UNDESERVING of it. Don't come looking for me afterward. I will not accept you back. Nobody is arguing. Take that crap you got going on with you and please go ELSEWHERE. Or be blocked.

[btbc92]

@CasaNorba sorry. disregard the mention. I was supposed to post something else.

[btbc92]

@InkRat_ If you do not like what I have to say, please then LEAVE. I am not arguing with ANYBODY. God is God. He doesn't care about religion. So please stop with your misinformation and your nonsense. What I write is not your business.

[InkRat_]

First I don't care if you love me or hate me, nor I care if you block me. You say some interesting things, as if people who don't believe in some gods will never know love, does by love you mean The seventh plague of Egypt, or perhaps God killed all first born Egyptian children, or perhaps The Ai massacre? If that's the love you want, that's fine by me, take it, I don't want such bloody love.

[btbc92]

Dude, last warming, your getting blocked if you have no respect.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I would wait 3 years before having sex so I would have enough time to figure her out as a person, but I wouldn't wait until marriage. Marriage would come a year after having daily sex. Also it would only be oral and handjobs if she's not sterile (birth control and condoms don't work, and I don't want kids).

People are too trusting too early, and commit before they are certain.
Sex matters, looks matter, personality matters, intelligence matters, talent matters, hobbies, matter, views and morals matter, sense of humor matters, etc.

[Inexpensivefurniture]

I don't know. I'm having similar problems dating. Sex is difficult for me for many reasons. It's not something I want often, or right away. That's a deal breaker for a lot of people, which I don't understand. I get that people like what they like and have different sex drives, but is sex really so important to some people? Maybe I just don't get it because for me sex isn't a priority, it's rarely even a want

[aWes0MeNeSs]

I feel the same way, I have never understood the importance it has to most people (not that it's a bad thing, it's just something I can't relate to).

[FilmGuy93]

No sex is more like the straw the breaks the camel's back than the reason for the breakup, in the same way that pussy is great, but it's not that great and the rest of the woman comes with the pussy too. Most of the time when men break up over no sex, it's more because the woman was making herself a gigantic pain to deal with and the the lack of sex made her more trouble than she was worth. Men like sex, obviously, but we see sex as a sort of reward that most women strongly overestimate the value of. Women don't realize just how much they overplay their hand

[J2ohhhhh]

Lot of women massively overestimate their personalities. I remember in school before we guys got horny in one class out of 16 girls there were usually 2 who was cool and interesting and the rest were like room plants, we knew they were there, but didn't really care about them. I remember when before my 13th birthday we went for a summer break and when we came back some girl hit puberty quite noticeably and she went 0 to hero. Not because she became interesting or cool, she just grown boobs. And slowly it happened to all of the girls and now they try to convince themselves that they have a cool personality, but most of them don't. It isn't always men who only wants sex, but sometimes (very often) women don't really have anything else to offer. And don't get me wrong 14 out of 16 men just as fucking uninteresting as women and they aren't really good for anything else than providing financial security, so it's not women hate people are just boring in general.

[LisaRaven]

I only know from my limited experience, a guy cheated on me cause all he was interested in was sex. I like slow relationships and take a long time to get to the point where that to an option. He didn't agree and was trying to get with another girl while he was with me.

[Den1971]

As pretty as you are it would have been worth the wait I'm sure of that

[LisaRaven]

@Den1971 ty :)

[Den1971]

Always.

[Erron_Black]

cheating on you is so stupid

[LisaRaven]

Not seen or heard from him since I told him to get lost. Rumor is he got two girls pregnant around the same time, guess he didn't learn anything.

[Den1971]

He hasn't learned anything yet he will when he's paying child support for both them kids and they ain't got no money and lost the best thing that could have ever happened to him thank God it wasn't you baby girl

[Erron_Black]

you should be happy. for getting rid of such a man

[LisaRaven]

Not putting in names for obvious reasons but if rumors are true, I know a bit about both families (small town) I image his biggest problem would be both fathers demanding a "shot gun wedding" my grandfather would have called it.

[LisaRaven]

And yes I'm happy I'm not in that boat.

[Den1971]

Keep your Head on right and keep your values the way they are and your love will find you Believe me. Stay just the Way you are your beliefs your attitude just stay you don't ever change for anyone no matter how much they tell the sweet talk you and peer pressure you don't do it you do what you want to do because you want to do it

[ObscuredBeyond]

That wouldn't be a deal breaker for me. I'd prefer such a woman. The alternative is much more likely to cheat. I want a reliable life partner. Any idiot can be a pumping station. That man's priorities are all wrong. If he has to go number 3, the toilet works for that purpose too.

[DizzyDesii]

If he can’t wait at least 6 months (which is the minimum wait time) for me to even consider hopping on his dick, then he's not for me. I have no problem masturbating him til then but I’m not having sex in less than 6 months and im not having oral in less than 3 months. I need to be in love before i give into certain sexual things

[Anonymous]

I'm not religious.

Would never rush any women or have sex when she is not ready, I would just find another one.

Your forever sex after marriage usually looks like first year you getting some and then never gain.

And one of answers are in your questions. What, if she will hate it after having it first time after marriage and will never want it or wants it not often enough?

Main reason, men can do it all without women, only one thing we are not able to do alone is sex and all that comes after it.

And all Virgin stuff I do not really understand, that would mean I would have partner who knows nothing and I would need to teach her and I hate teaching anything...

For gifted people: not saying that women with huge number is my preference, she just needs to have some experience...

[Hypnos0929]

Because a lot of women don't start off with "no sex", the "no sex" women tend to pretend to be freaks up until a year after the wedding/first couple kids. It sucks to find out the woman you love DOESN'T GIVE A DAMN about you or outright doesn't want you.
Furthermore there are some women who love sex, except for with their man and that idea tends to sting at guys. A lot of women want their cake (loyal husband, stable family, and nuclear family from the outside) and to eat it to (the excitement of secrets, the passion of a first meeting, the strength of something new).
Now not all women are like this but as a guy who has had a history of sleeping with "stable" relationship women, I can say there are a lot of them out there.

[t-8900]

Don't compromise who you are for others. You ar you and nobody can take that away from you. You are unique band no other is your copy. If a woman wants to wait for marriage I can respect that. But when married those obligations will have to be met. When w guy is willing to wait months or years for you he just showed he had class, commitment, and respect for your wants and needs. In turn you need to be willing to do the same in return.

[G5TWA1]

"I don't understand men, I guess they are stupid" nice logic, some men think that if they are not having sex women are not worth the effort, some are willing to wait, but not till marriage, cause like you said sex has an emotional side, so if after dating for months you don't want to be vulnerable to someone in that way, then they will think you don't love them and are just wasting their time, but there are some men who are willing to wait till marriage, they are not better or worse men, their values are not better or worse either, they are just not compatible with you

[Sam_The_Savage]

I have counter question.

(1) why guy need to be wait for girl? Is there anything girls can offer in relationship apart from sex?

(2) why girls say if guys loves her truly than he should wait for sex till marriage. ? Why not girls do sex before marriage If she loves him?

[Asker]

The answer to your questions is the Bible. The answers are there. It seems like men do not want more than sex. And that’s great because some women are not going to give you anything else but they have sex so there’s someone for everyone it’s better that people find their person that they are equally yolked with. Try to be your most godly self. She can be a cheater or not all there mentally. She can be carrying bad energy.

[Sam_The_Savage]

I still didn't get the answer ma'am.

If guy need to prove that he loves her by waiting for sex till marriage.

Than why don't girls prove that she loves him by giving sex before marriage?

Ma'am isn't it's equally fair?

[Asker]

Because withholding sex doesn’t want do any damage. Having sex can cause damage because you give so much to that person that’s why unless they are giving the world in return it shouldn’t happen. It’s safer that you get to know her enough to see if you want to stay.

[Asker]

And rather just tell her that you didn’t like her enough.

[Sam_The_Savage]

I agree on one point if girls comes from traditional background than she will give importance to sex after marriage.

And as a guy we should respect her culture.

[samavia]

I have for u
(1) if there is only sex for a girl to offer man in relationship then why you even want to be in relationship there is a lot you will find who can give you what you want and is looking for without relationship problems no need to be in rationship
(Relationship have a lot more physical touch is the last priority in it if u read 5 languages of love book then u will know)
(2) sex is the most selfish thing a person can ask by manuplating with a sentence "if u love me prove it by giving sex"
A girl says no boy should respect her decission if he truly love her if a guy says no then girl should respect him actually when they tryemy respect each other and are not selfish no problem happen..
Even a girl agree after manipulation tell me will u enjoy it when ur partner is not fully happy with it.

[Sam_The_Savage]

So if girl say if you love me than wait till married for sex. So it is ohk? Nice dear. Thanks. Lol.

[samavia]

No not gender even a boy says he don't want it he wants to wait girl should respect it's cheap saying prove ur love by it... even if a girl says prove ur love by waiting.. it's all respect not a test if the other respects u then it's called love when u are not selfish and are concerned about other persons happiness and comfortability.. I don't think if someone truly respect or love they would even like to be intimidate if one of them is not perfectly ready... both are ready there is no probelm go ahead but if one is uncomfortable then a bad person will manipulate cuz being intimidate means giving happiness to other showing love if u r doing this for ur sake then where is respect and love in it

[samavia]

We don't test each other it's cheap it's life who test our love for each other if we start asking and taking test of each other's love then I don't call it love

[Sam_The_Savage]

Yes ofc whatever I say it's cheap.

[samavia]

😂😂😂

[Sam_The_Savage]

Stay away from cheap minded guy. It's good for you.

[samavia]

I did not said u r cheap I said who want a test of love from their partners are cheap.. I don't know how u r in life what you do it's just my opinion I m not mentioning anyone

[Sam_The_Savage]

It's better to say you disagree with this thinking rather than saying it's cheap n all. It's doesn't look good.

[samavia]

Ok I disagree with it.. u r right maybe my language were wrong but still I consider it bad if one partner is not ready other manipulate it's somehow forceful.. both should fully agree

[Sam_The_Savage]

By calling someone point of view cheap it's doesn't make you good or smart. Stay humble In life. Take care.

[David_Kek]

Why is men not protecting or providing for a woman until after marriage a deal breaker for women?
Because natural selection doesn't care for your self-centered selfishness. If you bring nothing to the table, then you'll be alone at that table.

[Asker]

I like your answer. It makes sense.

[Apple1996]

Anyone who waits till marriage to have sex is just ridiculous. A couple needs to find out if they are sexually compatible before locking it down for the rest of their lives

[spartan55]

@Apple1996
No kidding. Think about the lamest sex you've ever had. Then think about having that lame sex for the rest of your life... no fucking way.

[Apple1996]

@spartan55 yeah exactly

[Grond21]

Not all men are like that. I am also a virgin, and waiting for marriage. I would be most happy with a woman who was the same. But in an era where men and women hook up all the time and we don't understand what sex is for anymore, what its meaning is, it's not too surprising that a lot of men get this wrong

[btbc92]

That because a lot of men are not seeking that. They think it's too much emotion, too much feelings, too much of anything that they themselves know they don't have. They don't want innocence and pure things anymore. That's that's why a lot of people turn to pornography. That's why they tell you to what's after a person and if you don't then you must be asexual or gay. Men and women have been told mixed messages this is why hookup culture is more a prevalent practice today. They don't care about the meaning. They just care about what they feel they're entitled to. Remember it's not about sex itself is about the intent for it. And most people's intent for it is selfish at its core. I just came back from another question where I had an argument now with three people instead of two. An argument that should not be. So I don't know exactly what you actually believe concerning it. It's best not to say all men are like that when it's actually very few who have such innocence anymore. I've learned as a virgin myself there two types of virgins on this planet. In fact I guess I can probably say three types: virgins of the world, religious virgins, and spiritual virgins ( meaning) those who have spiritual and biblical values.

[Grond21]

It's true. Most men are not seeking this. It seems like everyone these days are using each other for sex or for emotional connection. Everyone is abandoning the Deep kind of relationship that we all want to have because so many people are using pornography or just hooking up. I don't know how to get the kind of relationship we long for in our hearts. Everything is mixed up!

When you say virgins of the world, do you mean incels? And what's the difference between religious virgins and spiritual virgins? What kind are you?

[btbc92]

Set is supposed to be an emotional connection. But it is emotional and spiritual connection that can only be achieved through the physical act itself. The thing is in this world, most men don't care about either. Very few men actually do. Just like there are a lot of women who cares about the emotional connection, and someone like me that cares about spiritual and emotional connection. But they are also good for you to ask you don't care about none of it either. You got to remember this is about genetics. And not everybody that walks on this planet is actually a human.

It's not that they are abandoning it. The world is telling you don't even care about it. This is why pornography and everything is so easily available. This is why magazines like Cosmopolitan, or website like jezebel. com are highly rated. Because the world runs on witchcraft. And they use for witchcraft too, the gain and transfer powers. So you have to remember it has nothing to do about the act itself it have to do about the transferring of spirits and gaining power. They don't talk about this. That's why in other religions and the Occult they touch up on that.

[btbc92]

And you got to remember something too. Not everybody actually wants that. If they actually want that, they will not turn to pornography or hooking up. People turn into pornography because they carries and all that told that is normal and that's what adults do. Then when children because messed up now they emulate everything that they see because they've been programmed David and people end up hooking up because now they don't see the purpose of attending a relationship if you're just going to have sex outside of marriage and then you break up. They don't see the point of waiting for sex in a marriage if you could just going to be married and your spouse degrade you sexually anyway. Are you around the wrong kind of influence that has sex with multiple people and talk about how having sex with different people is better than just one person. What do you think others are going to start doing? You got to remember this is the social aspect of things and not just a relational kind of thing. That's why our peers and Friends opinions matter more to us than our own loved ones.

[btbc92]

I definitely truly believe I know I do but then again everybody else is telling me different so I really don't know if that's the case.

[btbc92]

But there are also a good few women that don't care about none of it either*

Plus how you may view it may be extremely different. Especially since you are a man and I Am Woman. However, I believe what most say about us as human beings it's not really true. Meaning I believe how we were originally designed in the beginning it's not the same entirely because of sin nature how we emulate and act today. I believe that there was a lot more to it than what people want to say about sex even for those who had it the entire life or slept with hundreds of thousands of people. There's no one that is truly an expert at knowing that because we are all different people.

Everybody wants to say men are more visual than a woman is. I believe that is overall false. Because we as human beings are visual creatures anyway. Because if that's not true we wouldn't notice skin color. We wouldn't notice the different textures of things. We wouldn't be able to see numbers, or letters, we wouldn't be able to tell the difference between Darkness and Light unless you're color blind. We wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a man and woman or child. We wouldn't know the difference between what is an animal and what is a plant. What is alive and what isn't. So a man can notice a woman and a woman can notice a man. So where is there any difference? I realize there is no difference. It is just a matter of choice and what you choose to do with it.

[btbc92]

I have many people tell me I have preferences and types of a man. What I like physically and what I don't. At the learning about myself, I realize if I didn't necessarily have to care about that I wouldn't. I had to really think about why should my love and desire to love a man be contingent on whether I find him attractive sexually and physically or not? If love is unconditional as people say then why do we have so many conditions? I believe overall it's a test. I mean everything in this world is a test doesn't matter. Is just that, we can appreciate Beauty and natural things. I'm not saying that. What I am seeing why do we decide to treat others better and others worse? Because when I treat others worse than I do other people I don't feel great about myself. I had others tell me I'm too sensitive and that's not good. I realize that I'm just sensitive. And I just can't find myself treating others differently for the sake of it. So I don't know maybe it's just me. I believe the factors of why we are lack so much is because we already lack that as a child because our parents lacked.

[btbc92]

And I'm going to continue that in a minute. Virgins of the world is just that. Those who didn't have a physical sexual experience. But those who don't care about it either. In their minds, they do not find it wrong to masturbate or watch pornography and still be a virgin. They don't think that oral and anal sex is actually sex and they think they're still a virgin. They truly don't believe that hymens have to do with the physical aspect of your virginity, that's why a lot of them especially women depending start talkin about it even though there may be evidence that she may not actually have been a virgin. Mind you, I'm not talkin about rape victims, all those who accidentally stretched herself due to sports or other activities. In fact that actually teach you ways on how not to accidentally injure yourself down there so there really is no excuse. It's a simple fact it did what you and use sex toys or something else as a stimulant for masturbation and still believe they're still virgins. And an even if they do lose their virginity they don't Place much importance. All they care about is using sex either for pleasure or like you said to get something emotional out of it. They often do not wait for marriage to have sex. But they may not do it for quote on quote religious reasons either.

[btbc92]

Now that is a great difference between a religious virgin and the spiritual virgin. At least on a aspects on what the word of God says about a carnal person and a spiritual one. Most religious people are those who say they are religious are carnal. You will find that most Church buildings have religious people in it. That's why you got plenty that say they're Christians and a lot of them don't believe the Bible. Why a lot of them think that they can continue do willful sin and that God is going to still forgive them anyway. When the Bible clearly says that he is not mocked. And why God says he loves you, and you can still go to hell as a Christian. Religious virgins are just that. They do it strictly for religious reasons, and for most people even if they say they're religious. If they didn't have to do it they wouldn't have cared to waited anyway. But because that would have been a lot of Social and religious pressure they do it only because they will feel manipulated and they don't want to be judged. And that is why a good few Christians who have those beliefs and they can be virgins and they can wait for marriage to have sex they finally have sex on their wedding night and have unrealistic expectations and they end up miserable. They now seem their partners and then they end up shaming "religious values". And then say how religion don't work and how waiting for marriage don't work, is better off that you have sex outside of marriage so you can find out what you like in bed. No different. Still of the world oh, they just called themselves religious. Religion is of the world anyway.

[btbc92]

Spiritual virgins are like myself. We have actual Purity and innocence. Everything about us is just that. And everybody and everything around us can sense that. We wouldn't have a personal desire to watch pornography. But because we are human that doesn't mean that we wouldn't be curious like anybody else. I think the curiosity is the most definitive Factor. Not necessarily naiveness. We truly love with our hearts and we don't have to lie about it. We know to honor God with our bodies. We know to honor our family, community, with our choices. And most importantly we want to make sure that we are doing the right thing by our spouse and our children. It doesn't matter if you a man or woman. If you fit these attributes, then your spiritual. For us, sex is not a means of seeking pleasure or just something physical. We know it's emotional but it's more than that to. We know is spiritual. But what makes it important to us it's not so much that it's expected of us. Or required of us or demanded of us or just something you do just to show you love a person. We do it because we have a desire to love. And to desire anything less BUT to love. And to share that bond with you through the love that we already have. It is complete openness, complete Joy, compassion and full of hope, and it should be an expression of those things.

[btbc92]

You finally discovering each other for the very first time because it is a communion of Souls. Heavens open up when you do so, and the blessings come down, sex should be used to honor God and God is pleased because you're honoring him. And the next thing you know you're blessed with a little one that looks just like you and them. None of those things that the world tries to put on you matters. You're not focusing on their physical, you're not focusing how sexy they look, all you want to do is love them. And if you already find them to be attractive you already felt that way about them anyway. But you love for them is more greater than any of that. And that's what makes them more sexually attractive to you. It's not about what they do, or what they can give you. It's just at the love they have for you is so great oh, you feel like you don't deserve it but yet you're blessed. You wouldn't have it any other way. And thus, your satisfied. All is well. And other sees that light and your joy and your love and how greatly satisfied you are. How greatly are you blessed and how much do honor God that others to desire to have the same that you have.

[btbc92]

So be if I'm being too optimistic, call the fantasy, call idealistic, call unrealistic expectations, call it being too stuck in my head, been watching too much Disney or whatever, say just dreaming. I really don't know. I'm only speaking what I truly believe in feeling my heart and a very core in my spirit. But, if love in that aspect, his marriage, sex, a family isn't that and never was that. Then is fine too. If that is truly how God made it after all then there's nothing I can do to argue about. God is God. What he says and how he designs goes and will be regardless of what i think or say. His ways are higher then mine. I just cannot find myself to do what everybody else does. Everybody says they believe the same thing but I just don't know anymore. I just truly feel like I'm really am just only one. Especially as a woman I would not personally know what a man really desires or think truly. I can't speak for other women and I definitely cannot speak for a man. I just know for myself I can only speak for myself. So you asked, I told you what kind I am. It's strange how people say that I'm not too different. I think all of this proves how very different I am.

[btbc92]

I think what hurts me the most it's not what I never had. For me not dating or any of that with anyone accuse me of not having. But why anybody would truly want that happiness for themselves and actually try to work for it if they so badly desire it? So I don't think it's really hard to achieve. I think that's just something people start giving up looking for and just don't try. Because they're too scared of being judged by someone else. Not if they don't want that it's not for me to push my beliefs on anyone. But when it comes down to these topics, I do not understand why people feel the need to shame you for having them. Especially men. I get called a man-hater. Then I must be a man hater who truly loves men then. Don't know how that works.

[VanillaSalt]

Look. Understand that sex is why men hunt women. We’ll wait for a good women but I would never wait for marriage… it’s old fashioned and nobody waits. Even if they did I’m highly mistrusting of women so I won’t marry. If we’re waiting for marriage then I’ll never get it so nope.

[Mango-man]

For some men, the main reason for being in relationship is the vision of "free" sex.
For others, the main reason for being in relationship is to have someone to share life with, and sex is just a cherry on top of a cake.

If I were to guess, the porn could be the culprit why some men expect sex out of every encounter with female.

[Buckzor]

You shouldn’t be judging someone else’s choice and opinion in life.


I wouldn’t date someone who wouldn’t have sex until we’re married because I crave that emotional and physical connection in a relationship.


Hell when do I ever know I will be married? 30? 35? 40? You’re willing to wait that long? Not me.


It really doesn’t matter - as long as you’re doing what YOU want, who cares what other people are doing or not doing.

[Honesttguy]

Some men want test drive before buying the car, there's nothing wrong with that.

Some men dont want to get married at all so breaking up is a must have, otherwise whats the point of dragging it out, the moment she says sex after marriage its time to go separate ways.

Its all just Logical. Makes sense in my head what's so hard to understand?

[CookiesAndCream2]

And that's why guys like you will eternally only end up with sluts, cheap fucks and free prostitutes. Decent women want more than losers. Women with little to no respect don't care.

[Honesttguy]

@CookiesAndCream2 well you dont sound that decentbto be honest i just answered question on possible reasons for deal breaker and you go ahead losing your temper and start throwing insults at me you dont even know how to behave yourself.
You see most women have avarage IQ, guys dont care much for what womens profession is, he cares mostly if she's good looking thats basic evolution. If you think you are special and can change million years of evolution go ahead you can be free to think that way but im not buying it.

[CookiesAndCream2]

@Honesttguy - like said, losers care. I've attracted the attention of some rather successful men dressing & acting in a decent and professional manner. Never once had to wear a revealing piece of clothing. Women like myself are too much for guys like you. All you want are the cheap ones, the easy ones that give out at the first compliment. So go waste your crying with them.

[Honesttguy]

@CookiesAndCream2 like i said you dont sound that decent at all. Hear something you dont like 1st move insult get upset and angry. can't expect anything more from you. If your so happy with your men why are you here wasting time arguring about nonsense?

[Caramelpie]

Men are horny dogs and mostly live for sex so if there’s no sex in the relationship they will just simply leave it to find someone that will give them what they want no matter how much they love their girlfriends or wives. It’s very rare that you will find a man that doesn’t care about sex unless he is 100% asexual or has some kind of diseases that stop him. So, they’re more likely to cheat for sex while most girls cheat for the lack of love, emotion and attention.

[sigggnupp]

You think so bad about men... Gosh...
:(

[Caramelpie]

@sigggnupp It’s not what I think about men. This is fact in studies and science that men are mostly always hornier than woman and they have great energy that they need to get it out somehow, and those that control themselves become crazy rapist for the sake of pleasure. When a man’s wife dont want sex he gets mad, when she doesn't feel it he starts noticing other girls and start cheating not all but the majority.

[Caramelpie]

Can’t control themselves *

[Caramelpie]

Also when there's a relationship without sex he won't stay because emotional feelings isn’t what they need or want. Sex comes first then other things while gor us emotions come first then sex.

[sigggnupp]

But you could have framed it better. You literally said men are horny dogs and only live for sex. And that the men who aren't so horny have some disease...
Damn really?
Do you even like men anyway?

[Caramelpie]

@sigggnupp You can just ignore my opinion if you don’t agree with it, it’s no big deal right? Yes I already have a boyfriend so I don’t hate men or have something against them, was just telling facts from our daily life that is out there in the world.
Also yes its fact if the guy has any kind of serious disease that will prevent him from sex he won't otherwise he will still think about it always and wants it badly. :)

[Levin]

In my experience women are pretty fucking horny, if not hornier than men. Especially if they're emotionally comfortable around you. They turn into wild animals!

[sigggnupp]

@Caramelpie so according to you women don't want / desire / think about sex anyway and just do it in a relationship after a certain time period just as a chore in the relationship?

[jspl90]

too bad you are wrong, men are not horny dogs and they do not mistly live just for sex

[FurryGuy14]

Our genes are different. It is genetics that give us our hormone levels. It is our genetics that give us stronger sex drives.

Women who have higher testosterone, than the average woman, tend to have higher sex drives, than the average woman.

Men who have higher estrogen, than the average man, tend to have lower sex drives, than the average man.

[Seinna]

People, both men and women nowadays can't wait for anything. They need things immediately because they're used to getting them. If they can't afford it, they'll take a loan. If something's not working out, they'll find another.

[aWes0MeNeSs]

Very true.

[Ninani]

I'd have to know somebody sexually before even getting in a relationship with them. Sexual compatibility is equally as important as personality, so knowing them platonically would never be enough to build such a big decision as marriage on.

[sigggnupp]

So you'd have sex with someone before liking him and committing in a relationship with him?

[Ninani]

I'd like him for his personality, of course, otherwise I wouldn't bother sleeping with him. I would, however, not commit to him before having sex with him and knowing him both physically and emotionally.

[sigggnupp]

What do you seek / desire in a man sexually/physically?

[Ninani]

Compatibility. Can't really say it more specifically as it depends on the specific man and how our bodies work together.

[sigggnupp]

Is there anything that'll be sexually repulsive about a man as soon as you see his totally naked body?
Anything that you'll judge him on as soon as he's naked?

[Ninani]

Sexual compatibility is not about looks.

[sigggnupp]

I agree. Just wondering what would be in your mind if he gets naked in front of you and you notice he grows hair even on his shoulders z upper arms , belly and sides of the back too... although you could see stubble only since he has closely trimmed it all?

[Ninani]

I've seen that before, wouldn't think anything of it.

[sigggnupp]

Would you judge him if he's small down there?

[Ninani]

Only how he acts about it.

[Justneedtokno]

Yeah I wonder this myself because there are guys that will totally call you a slut and then there are guys like why don’t you do this either you’re too promiscuous or holier than thou

[Waldoe]

HE does NOT speak for all men... he was looking for an easy "sex-partner", not a "Life partner" Kick his nasty ass to the curb... Your Body, Your Choice... stay strong and ditch the "pussy hounds"

[TheFlak38]

All you have to offer to a man is a vagina and you still say no. Goodbye then. Thats you can do. It's all about your vagina. There is nothing else you can offer to a man. Any rational man with a brain in his head would dump such an entitled princess.

[Asker]

You have to remember that on a human level just because it has a hole as you put it. Doesn’t mean that they will be a good addition to your life and that they won’t cause you pain.

[Archerer]

I think the concept of virginity is barbaric, unhealthy, and stupid. I think waiting for marriage is also stupid. Therefore, someone waiting for marriage doesn’t hold the same core values as me. I don’t mind “waiting” to have sex, but more than a few months it’s a problem. One that goes beyond just “not having sex”

[BruceJender]

It’s not just a dealbreaker for many men, it’s equally so for many women.

We’re sexual creatures, it’s our desire to have sex, especially with someone we love.

Don’t be surprised that someone would want to break up if they weren’t getting any.

[iBeowulf]

Women don't pay men's bills, so their wet spot is all they really have to offer.

[Asker]

Women raise children, and talk to you. Just don’t forget that part

[iBeowulf]

Children are a product of sex. Friends talk. Women file 80-90% of divorces, get custody and alimony in 90% of cases and can falsely accuse good men decades later without consequence or evidence. Don't be her golden parachute, boys.

[Asker]

The answer to your questions is the Bible. The answers are there. It seems like men do not want more than sex. And that’s great because some women are not going to give you anything else but they have sex so there’s someone for everyone it’s better that people find their person that they are equally yolked with. Try to be your most godly self. And women can cheat, steal, and do anything hurtful that a man can do emotionally. Some don’t.

[iBeowulf]

Marriage, cohabitation, sex and childbirth rates are at all time lows. I used to be a Christian until I discovered hundreds of bible contradictions with explanations varying between made up extra biblical nonsense that invites the curse of Revelation 22:18-19 for adding to or subtracting from, the bible; all the way to two different people being given credit for killing goliath, as a copying error. They'll say anything to hold onto their cash cow.

[happyman1012]

Men get physically attracted and intimate before they get emotionally attached. Women get emotionally attached then physical and intimate. A lot of men haven't learned to talk to women and women haven't learned how to talk to men so there's that barrier between all of us.

[cryscrys1]

No wonder you ate are the HappyMan you know what’s up 🥺

[cryscrys1]

Are*

[m33lad]

I didn’t read the whole thing. But people need to be up front of.
I do think Virgin girls going to marriage and I want to have sex before marriage is one of the secrets of concreting at long last relationship.
However with the world that we live in this concept is quite difficult.


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[Partaken]

You seem to have no idea how man's mind works. We dont want to wait forever for sex so why should we stay and be miserable just cause its what she wants? Like would you marry a man that wants to wait til marriage to take you out on dates because its just what he wants? No you'd bounce and find a guy that treats you how you want to be treated

[Anonymous]

First, something you must understand. Men are not women... Let me repeat that, Men. Are. Not. Women.

The biggest way in which men feel connected to the opposite sex is via sex.. I get that might sound foreign to you, but it is what it is. There are SOME men that are ok waiting to get married, but those men dont typically form meaningful connections til the wedding night. Men aren't stupid they are different, And religious idiocy is literally the only reason women wait for marriage.

[SamFromFL]

Because marriage isn’t a guarantee of sex forever. Some women when they get married slow down having sex. Other times the wives decide sex isn’t something they like. There are examples of this and other reasons.

[Asker]

The answer to your questions is the Bible. The answers are there. It seems like men do not want more than sex. And that’s great because some women are not going to give you anything else but they have sex so there’s someone for everyone it’s better that people find their person that they are equally yolked with. Try to be your most godly self.

It’s so easy to find sex that I feel like it might be overshadowing what matters the most.

[SamFromFL]

As a Christian I have read and studied the Bible. One thing I learned is in the culture of those the Bible is written about the marriages were arranged and often girls were 14 and 15 years old when they got married. So of course them having sex at 13 was dangerous and not good. But certainly the Bible wasn’t meant to have women in their 20s and 30s as virgins. Just like parts of the Bible where it tells women not to talk in church or take leadership positions.

But aside from the Bible, I’ll tell you that men need sex to feel loved. If they are denied sex they feel rejected.

[SamFromFL]

What matters most is love. If guys are rejected how can they ever fully love her?

[Asker]

I would say to try and compromise. That’s the only way. But make sure you strictly follow her comfortable ness with what you want. Something great is around the corner if you do the right thing.

[SamFromFL]

Yes all relationships are full of compromise. For example she could make out with him and give him oral sex. Even anal. But I will say if she refuses to even kiss or do other sexual things most guys wouldn’t stick around for the 3 years required to get married

[SamFromFL]

And while as a guy we meet her needs to make her feel comfortable and complete, she should meet our needs. Relationships go both ways

[Asker]

Thank you for your incite

[SamFromFL]

You are welcome, God Bless. by the way I wouldn’t have sex with someone for the first 3 months anyway. As you said it’s about making love and must include emotions and respect

[Asker]

I don’t think that the man is truly being rejected. I think his refusal to remain with that woman is what she is rejecting.

[SamFromFL]

And I will say that men and women are different and have different needs. Women who refuse to have sex with men are similar to men who refuse to open up emotionally to women. Both are in love but boths needs are not being met. You asked about what men need, so that’s your answer. Can you imagine being with a man who refuses to share his emotions or listen to hers?

[SamFromFL]

I saw what you said about how sex carries risks. Emotions also carry risks and a guy can be emotionally hurt that can last a decade or more

[Anonymous]

Why not date a guy who's also the same , virgin waiting for marrige. You can't change the other person. Even most virgin girls don't want to date virgin guys but want experienced guys who will not have sex for them. Life always doesn't work like that way

[aWes0MeNeSs]

You have a good point. People should seek out others who have the same values and are on the same page about sex as them.