Why do men complain about women when men are the ones that are the the issue?
On nearly ever study they show husbands cheat on their wives more.
Yet men have the nerve to complain about women filing for divorce more? It’s because it makes sense when you see studies showing all the married men cheating on their wives
Less than 6.0% (about 2 million) of all fathers of minor children are “solo” dads but 20.2% (about 7 million) are “absent” dads of all of their minor children. Compare that to In 2020, were approximately 3.0 million (4%) have an absent mother?
The US has the most single parents in any other country and somehow men twist it around and blame women?
“You can’t find a good man, you’re a bad wife, you shouldn’t have went and had a kid. “
My ass, it seems like men want a faithful partner but that faithfulness isn’t extended onto themselves.
Even Dr suess, the praised and loved children’s Arthur was an unfaithful old hag who went and cheated on his wife with one of her friends while she was suffering with cancer and depression. The dude went and married the girls friend after she committed suicide from having to deal with her disgusting ass husband too. Yet people complain the dudes being “canceled and book burned”
Even when it comes to marriage I see men who aren’t even married yet complain about how “women now a days don’t want to be a housewife and take care of the kids while I provide.”
Just goes to show how disconnected from reality they are, as if taking care of one child’s easy? As if motherhood is something innate in all women despite the fact that there are many mothers who regret having their kids.
I don’t understand what men are complaining about. And if the biggest struggle of being a man is the fact that “women suck now a days” than that’s tough a shit. Get a time machine instead of complaining.
The US Has the Highest Share of Single Parenting Statista
I’ve never been a mother obviously but I’m pissed at looking at the hard working single moms and dads that do their shit and take care of their family meanwhile we have married dead beat fathers who just complain as well as future dead beat fathers ⚠️
Updates
+1 y
I apologize if I hurt anyone’s feelings writing this, I understand this comes of as bias and I regret making this
Why do men complain about women in regards to marriage when men are the ones that are the the majority of the issue?
There certainly are plenty of dead beat men out there, fathers or not. But there are more good men, both fathers and husbands than wasters. There certainly is a culture in marriages of blaming the opposite partner for the shortcomings of the marriage, but when you boil down to it, often, and I'm not saying always, but often both partners hold some responsibility with the problems. Guys who just go off and cheat because the opportunity presents itself are scum of the earth, especially if the have kids. But women that do it are equally as bad. An old friend of mine has just completed a divorce on her husband because she cheated on him and had moved out of the family home. She gave up custody of her 2 kids because they didn't fit her new lifestyle. So sometimes it can work both ways. I'm not defending men who cheat or blame their wife's for divorce because they are shit heads, but I do agree than generally there are more of them than women, but also that women are not blameless when they do this too. I mean how depreved is it when a mother gives up her children because she doesn't want them anymore, it's bad enough when fathers do it. The mental torment for a child that has had a parent leave them is something that will go with them into adulthood, but for a mother to walk out on her children must be devastating for kids.
I don't know if such a blanket statement as ".. when men are the ones that are the the majority of the issue?" is completely accurate.
I was married for 15 years, I never cheated on my wife, I ended up being a single Dad to my daughter. I had a lot of valid complaints of our marriage, particularly after she chose to do her thing away from our kid's life at 12 years old. I understood her reasons, but I wholeheartedly disagreed with them and I made sure she knew it.
I feel it's an unfortunate perspective to maintain by society that if a marriage fails, it's one's fault over the other.. when both consented and agreed to the marriage in the first place. As such, if a marriage fails, in my opinion, it's both have faults that contributed.
Alas, my marriage taught me how truly boneheaded it was for me, with my personality, to have gotten married in the first place. I don't shed the share of the blame that's rightfully mine in the dissolution of my marriage even though she's the one that bailed on it.
I've come across a number of your questions. And unlike many older people's questions, I've so far found yours to be very well thought out and intelligent questions. I personally, was not offended.
It did come across a taaaaad bias :) The fact that you recognize that I respect and admire.
Single motherhood is one of the hardest things that any parent has to go through. For a mother to pick the route of single motherhood as the better life , it just comes to show how shitty men are
I have to agree that men cheat more than women. Take a look at all the womanizers in the 1960s and prior , they were All men
In my experience, single mothers are often terrible parents and significantly worse for their children than the ones raised by single fathers. And plenty of women choose single motherhood because it benefits them financially.
Women use the courts to prevent fathers from being with their kids. The women want majority custody so they can get child support, which they mostly spend on themselves.
And single fathers have more money that they earn by working, single mothers have more money that they get for free by stealing it from the fathers and by government programs that help women much more than they help men.
Women often work a low status job, even though there is more free exclusive college money for women because women take the easy route in life most often and aren't willing to sacrifice and work hard to have a better life.
I've seen it is real life for over a decade while working in schools. Single mothers are often terrible people that abuse and neglect their kids. Even with child support and food stamps, a school I worked at for years was still giving bags of food to many students to take home in their backpacks each weekend because of neglect from the parents, 87% of whom were single mother households.
@HighValue no single mother ever told me that being a single parent was easy. Nobody ever encouraged it to me. they all told me its something that i should never do
@doopayo So you too have worked in schools for over a decade and known hundreds of families like I have? No? I didn't think so. You just deny the truth. Stay ignorant, it's what you are best at.
That little comment was unnecessary. I’ve been threw a different life is all, not recognizing that is ignorant in and of itself. I recognized that this question was made out of ignorance and have apologize for that but to generalize single moms from your personal experience Is to erase the many good single moms that exist and are doing their best to provide for themselves as well as their kids
take a look at the high divorce rates with overwhelming majority of these divorces initiated by women. this proves that its MEN that are the problem, not women. In overwhelming majority of families, its always wives that are working full time jobs while being responsible for all the housework, cooking, cleaning, child rearing, tutoring.
Well I think people have to be willing to make it work with each other. If they aren’t willing (both the male and female), then it just won’t work. Don’t settle, find the right person for you and you for him.
In the US, men cheat at a rate of 29% and women at 26% - that's a 3% difference. However, women initiate divorce 77% of the time vs. 23% for men - that's a 54% difference. Do you see how the scale of the problem is dramatically different?
Then, consider that women are awarded primary custody of the children in 82% of cases, even when men want split custody. This allows judges to award child support to the woman on top of alimony, and for many men this means that 70-80% of their after-tax income is going to the ex-wife - which means he's unable to live despite working full-time, while she often doesn't need to work at all. It's a massive imbalance.
And even women think so - at least, the ones who out-earn the men. Halle Barry and Kelly Clarkson were furious at having to pay so much in their divorces, and railed about how unfair the law was - but only after it was applied to them the same way it is applied to men every day. Maybe you should see what they had to say, and see if their opinion makes some sense to you. If even women are saying these laws are unfair, don't you think that it might just be true?
Thats nice, my mom cheated on my dad. She disowned me when I was 11. So i dont like blanket statements or us vs them. You're coming at it from one side because you only know one side. I know both sides and have seen both sides. But my mom was the one that checked out on me, not my dad. And yes lots of single parents in the USA because we have given certain individuals the incentive to wreck their marriages for money. If you reward people for doing poor acts then poor acts follow. If you reward people for good acts then good acts follow. It's that simple.
If you dont want kids or would regret having them well... I mean when all else fails abstinence is an option I guess. Or an IUD. Plus having quick access to morning after pills. I mean everything is a choice so don't put all the blame on men. You know what happens when you deal with f*ckbois. If you can't deal with the potential downsides of that then simply dont go with f*ckbois. And dont sleep with a guy you just met. Like this was all pretty damn common knowledge throughout history and yet now somehow it's like a giant secret mystery no one knows about? I've never cheated on a girl but I've had 4 gfs cheat on me. I don't want to hear it.
I did not intend this to be an us vs them. I’m just saying I don’t get why dead beat dads complain about their wives. Dead beats mothers exist but at a smaller rate than men and a lot of people go and hate on the single mothers that are trying rather than the dead beat mothers and dead beats fathers who aren’t. That’s my point, I just didn’t have enough word limits to explain thoroughly
the high end of men who cheat by the numbers is 18% and on the low end 13% so that's a minority of men who cheat. As far as me, even after all the crap some women put me through I never gave up on women and never will. But a lot of women just like men do not understand the opposite sex and too many are too arrogant to try and learn. Anyways this is how I deal with single moms: How to deal with a single mother as a man ↗
Well I don’t understand how this has anything to do with that. If your father was a good dad than I’m not talking about him, I’m talking about the rest of fathers that are absent and it’s not always because they’re bad. People just say that to take accountability away from the dad and onto the mom.
Even single dads are treated better and thought of better than single moms by society
every child is a shared 50/50 responsibility. And yes he's an ass if he did that and he's pathetic, low tier trash. But she still chose to make a baby with him. Child birthing in the western world is 100% a choice. We have contraceptives, we have... undesirable methods I wish weren't around, and then we have CHOICE. Simply put women need to VET the guy first. Is it fair? No. But it's always been like this since forever. That's why back in the day women usually either waited for the wedding ring or they bagged a guy with enough money and resources or enough reputation that if he didn't step up he'd be ruined. But if girls are just going to do random hook ups with guys they have no idea who they are, I don't feel bad for them. That was very stupid on their part. And the guy was just as stupid for sleeping with her too. But if he's a deadbeat she can still have the feds track his ass down, give him a shakedown, and take him for all he's worth or throw him in prison. But not every dude that's not in the picture is not by choice. Sometimes it's the women preventing him from seeing his child. And sometimes you get a mystery baby that a woman passes off as one guys when she has no clue who's it is. Those statistics dont take into account anything of the sort. Its just "this many guys that we collected data on cheated. This many babies dont have a daddy." But context is everything and these numbers dont break that down. All's I can say is for myself, I'd die before I left my wife and kids behind. There's no way in hell I'd ever even consider something that wicked and evil.
And what statistics led you to believe so many women are getting pregnant by one night stands? And you’re acting as if it’s as simple as 2+2 = 3 it really isn’t, there are situations where they’re good one minute and bad the next.
Either way your claim that the father was bad so it’s the moms fault she’s a single parent is a horrible excuse at explaining why there are so many single fathers.
And it’s literally not as simple as that, family courts always favor the benefit of the doubt even if your mom or dad is horrible. My dad got away without paying child support for years, it really isn’t that simple.
I also never said the women couldn’t prevent them from seeing their children, I specifically said I’m talking about dead beat fathers and mothers.
Not all women can see the future. And just because their husbands bad doesn’t mean they don’t want the baby and claiming that it’s their fault for their hardships removed blame from the father for not doing his part for the child he helped create
That’s my problem, I’m tired of single mothers getting so much damn hate and no one ever points fingers at the actually dead beats. It’s always there fault, you should’ve picked another man, etc.
I used to think the same exact way about my mother and now I hate myself for it once I realized she was the only parent that gave a shit about me.
I said it's 50/50 blame in the case of the unwed mothers exceptions being things like rape and whatnot. Children are a shared responsibility. it takes 2 and always has. if they were married and then he walked out then yeah it's on him entirely. But dont give so much access to a guy who hasn't put a ring on it. that helps prevent half the problem right there alone. Never give your body to a guy who isn't invested in you. This is pretty basic tbh. As I said, "dead beats are dead beats". So I'll say it again. And dead beats are also lousy PoS. No one argues that. But a woman can certainly help herself out big time by choosing men more carefully. yes there are liars and cheats and sometimes they get the better of us. A guy can get hurt by this too but he can be less careful simply because he's not going to have to tote a baby in a womb for 9 months. I'm not even sure what this "hate" of single mothers even is or where its coming from because honestly I've never seen it. The most I've seen is men dont want to date or marry them. But beyond that I dont see hatred so much from where I'm sitting. But maybe give me some examples so i understand what you mean better
I’m mostly just basing this off of the statistics I see as well as how I see my single mother is treated.
So many of my family looked down at my mom for being a single mom, even tho she tried hard and still he was just an ass.
Single mothers, especially single black mothers are stereotyped as being lazy, one welfare, ghetto, on food stamps, etc by the world despite there being so many good moms so I just don’t see why people think that way.
I also dislike society devaluing mothers and acting like their jobs are easy when motherhood is just really hard and not for everyone despite society acting as if all women are good mothers. There are too many parents that act like children are commodities and not actual people, they just have them and don’t take the time to care for them or even think maybe having a child’s not for me.
That’s what I find harmful, if someone doesn’t want to be a parent they should definitely not become a parent. But if someone decides to do the work to take care of their kids I find it unfair that they are treated poorly
You know the irony in all this is that men championed mothers and certain aspects of the female population were the ones bashing them for not just being career driven women, right? A lot of guys agree being a mother is hard! And some of what you say is less to do with single mothers and more to do with deep seated racism still being a thing. And of course what better target then the part of the black population that births more? So yes racists will stereotype, ofc. that goes without saying.
Single fathers have lower numbers because women and the courts steal the children from the fathers and use kids as a weapon to hurt the father. They also want custody to get a free paycheck for many years. Single mothers are often very emotionally abusive to their children. Source? I have worked in schools for 11 1/2 years and have personally witnessed it on many occasions.
Plenty of married women I have worked with that are married with kids cheat on their husbands. They hit on me too and I am disgusted by their behavior.
If women weren't intending to be abusive towards men, they would get laws changed so they couldn't steal from the man during divorce. They don't get the laws changed because the majority of them are thieves. Even the ones that claim to support men's rights still never try to get any laws changed for fairness because they too are sexist thieves. One of the ways to know a woman is a good long term partner is when she will sign a prenuptial agreement. If she won't, she is a thief.
After working in schools for many years I have lost a lot of respect for a lot of (not all) women, how unfaithful they are, how promiscuous they are, how they harm their children just to benefit financially or to hurt the father regardless of how it affects their children. Also how incapable many of them are and unable to understand homework and how to help their children academically at home. Many more of the two parent households have competent mothers, where as many of the single mothers are incompetent academically.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
They are not the problem. A fraction of people cheating is not some grand cause and it's inappropriate to draw that conclusion from the data, so stop. Also, young people (under 40) cheat less frequently (below the stated rate for both sexes), and it's young men making the complaints you're speaking of. Secondly, more impactful data, says women initiate breakups and divorce in 70% of those instances and the primary reason cited is dissatisfaction in the relationship, not cheating. Now... to suggest that if the women says she's dissatisfied as the reason that the whole problem must be with him would be very poor conduct. Next, most "absent" dads are the result of the mothers choice to get rid of him (and got custody as women typically do, this has been better in recent years, but the real problem is broken relationships in the first place, not custody), not his choice to leave the kids. This validates the attitude that she has made bad choices for herself and children. But all that aside, we should be talking about people looking for marriage, not people who were married and it failed, regardless of cheating.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
You have a very naïve view of what problems exist in modern marriage. There is so much more to it than the issues you cherrypicked for your little essay here.
The fact is that marriage today is much less appealing to men than it used to be, and for a lot of important reasons. One of the biggest, but certainly not the only issue, is that nearly 3/4 of divorces are filed by women, and the biggest reasons for divorce, by far, are financial issues and a lack of commitment, not infidelity, as you seem to think. That is a proven statistical fact.
Infidelity is much lower on the list, and studies show that when it is a factor, the cheater is the wife almost as often as it is the husband during the age range when most divorces occur. The difference is 3% - 4%. So obviously your claim that "men are the problem" is nonsense.
As far as absent fathers, that is an unavoidable consequence of women having children with unworthy men. Men obviously play a role in that too, but it should come as no surprise to anyone that promiscuous women who sleep around before marriage are far more likely to end up pregnant by a man who isn't ready or willing to be a good father and husband.
You are a good example of the fact that women today are in denial about marriage. The institution of marriage is dying a fast and painful death and won't last more than another generation if things don't change significantly. Until women wake up and take some responsibility for the problems with modern marriage, that seems an unavoidable reality.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I don't think all men are the reason the marriage falls apart. But I do agree a lot of men are assholes and like to blame women for all their problems and don't like to look at themselves. But one of the main reason I think so many divorces happen is because the two people jumping into the marriage are just not compatible. A lot of the times people see all their friends getting married so they rush into relationships, marriage or even rush to have kids for self gratification instead of actually loving each other or actually wanting the kid to be successful. A lot of people look at marriage like it's just a status symbol.
Oh doopayo at 15 years of age you have Jedi kills for asking the most biased and pointed questions...
1. Either your really 15 and very opinionated and bias against men, white people and anything other than yourself...
2. Your not really 15, but use it as away to cover up your ignorance in asking stupid questions.
3. Regardless of your age, you are a master at generating buzz on the platform without any concern of the level of ignorance, racisms, sexism and disregard you convey.
A big factor is that women take half a man's life savings and more upon divorcing him. So sure... he cheats and he pays the price... Or you can be like my father, who was the sole earner for a decade, got cheated on, had to pay half his shit and more to my cheating whore alcoholic mother, she goes unemployed for nearly a decade, living on divorce spoils and selling the house I grew up in to pay for more wine.
So sure, if there was no monetary component the divorce would be on whomever caused the relationship to fail... but since women get a divorce paycheck, men are heavily disincentivized from leading the relationship to ruin and initiating divorce. Not saying that plenty of men aren't to blame for divorce... but at least they have actual consequences.
Well I’m sorry but my dad is like the male version of your mom. I also know women aren’t the only ones that get treated unfairly overall it’s family court that’s bs. They give parents the benefit of the doubt, even tho my dad abuses the fact he has shared custody over me with my mom to torment her the court still doesn’t listen no matter how much evidence we show them.
Just a bit confused on how you're comparing your dad to my mom... I get that they're both abusive assholes... But my mother took a huge portion of my father's wealth and wasted it, which could've been passed down to my brother and I some day. Might've been neat to have that house to have my own kids in someday...
And ironically, my father got a pretty good deal because he was the one that ended up filing. My mother thought that it would be a good idea to start cheating, drinking, and she tells my father she wanted to divorce eventually, and just wait until she was ready... So my father only had to pay a large settlement, alimony, and he would've gotten the house, but they worked out a deal where my mother's rich father wrote a check for 100,000 to him for her to keep the house... Which honestly, might've been a bad deal considering a house in that neighborhood is worth close to a million these days.
There are just as many bad women out there as there are men.
Its fine to hate deadbeats and cheaters. But to sit there and say all men are the problem and all women are innocent is narrow minded and naive.
Taking that stance just creates a further divide between us and makes you part of the problem.
As it demonizes guys who are innocent and makes that much harder for them while at the same time putting female cheaters, abusers, manipulators and the like on a pedestal.
[As it demonizes guys who are innocent and makes that much harder for them while at the same time putting female cheaters, abusers, manipulators and the like on a pedestal.]
how do you blame women for men being abusers, manipulators, cheaters? its not womens fault that so many men are shitty
Ugh a feminist, skewed brainwashed question if i have ever seen one. Tell all of this to my brother, who committed suicide because his ex chose to cheat on him with multiple men, take his children, his home, his vehicles, and even the clothing off of his back, and basically forced him to become homeless, And ended up killing him self. If you're going to bash men and make women seem superior, then remember 73% of child deaths are at the hand of women as well as 71% of child abuse, and 72% of child neglect. Nether gender is a saint. Your whole tirade here just screams bitterness and hate. Grow up.
Your profile says you're divorced, and that is obviously clouding your feelings about marriage... and men.
You may have statistics about cheating, but marriage is about much more than that. Marriage is a partnership that grows over time. Men complain about women, and women complain about men, because we all have problems understanding the other.
I’m actually widowed. But I’m a real note I’m not referring to marraige I’m referring to the fact that single moms get treated way worst than dead best fathers and I find that fucked up. As well as the people who are ignorant and blame single moms.
I think you will find the study that was done isn’t exactly accurate because women cheat just as much as men do only the women are better at hiding it I seen with my own eyes a woman cheating on her partner not the first time either I’ve also seen a married woman cheating on her husband
I also think women complain more about men than men complain about women
@doopayo then this one is for you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zO9nUBazWEg The women are wonderful effect is still really strong in marriage. Also the fact that women gets so much benefits while men get so much consequences in marriage, that's what those cheaters are after.
A lot of people just have no buisness having children or creating a family. People need to do the inner work before the unresolved shit storm within flies out on all the people who are close to them in their lives.
@mikkun_ lol glad you agree bro, people just be unconsciously fucking, passing down loads of ancestral karma and the children gotta struggle real hard to turn that shit around. Some younger people r starting to become a little more 'woke' to the reality of the world. They ask themselves the big questions... Who are you? What do you want? Before they start a family and gotta solve all that shit in the mid 50s at the same time they're going through a divorce.
Marriage is 100% on both ends. Therefore it's equal. Men and women are both at fault. Women tend to stretch the truth so that they feel better about the situation and don't feel like they're the bad guy. That's their worst nightmare too be seen by everyone as God knows what. Care way too much about what people think
And what makes you assume they don’t respect themselves based off the way they dress? Still isn’t a valid critique for why there are so many dead best dads it’s just removing accountability
I don't know what you're talking about. Men hardly complain. We just stopped getting married. Its not my problem if a woman wants to get married and its not my problem if all these women are single moms. I dont owe anyone marriage. These girls should stop annoying us men for shit and solve their own problems.
I’m not talking about that I’m talking about dead beat dads who complain about that even though they aren’t good fathers and society rarely critiques them as much as they blame single mothers
Well maybe at least some of the time the women and laws drive them away. Children are important and great but if the law prevents them from seeing them much and the mom turns that time into torture then i mean they definitely have something to complain about and not really anyone could possibly be a good father in such an instance.
First, because of hypergamy. Women cheat more often than men do and are just better at hiding it. Second, women have weaponized the legal system against men so that men in family law court typically lose everything including their children, their money, and their possessions. No sane man gets married anymore.
That’s not true at all. The legal system doesn’t favor the mom or dad, it favors them both usually sticking together which is why most cases end with dual custody. What’s wrong is the courts always give the parent the benefit of the doubt no matter how bad they are.
My dads gotten away with so much shit in the legal system so bs, he’s not going threw any trouble
You have not been a litigant in a family law court, and you have not cared for veterans who have also been victims of family law courts. I have done both. You write with no authority whosever except your own experience with your father and your resulting biases. Moreover, at 15, you are still a child and really have no comprehension of the complexity of these problems, which are no nearly as simple as your writings would suggest.
Wow, congratulations on being one of the youngest contestants ever in the increasingly popular gender blame game, and for making such a magnificent contribution to gender hatred and the ever widening divide between the sexes. Bravo!
Seriously, that is some real bitterness and anger in your heart. You'd better get that under control or it's going to mess with your head and your life before you even become an adult.
The U. S. is basically just a giant shit storm. I wouldn't take anything to serious when people start shouting things. Honestly most people don't even know what their talking about. As for what your saying it seems more to due with single mothers rather than dads cheating. 2nd I wonder what are the reasons for the divorce and the cheating? Why did they do that and if they were happy would they do it anyway? Maybe I don't know? People will always have their reasons for how they do things.
Because women initiate 80% of the divorces. Most common reason is irreconcilable differences i. e. im not happy. Women are financial incentivsed to divorce and women get custody of children 93% of the time. Women have an entire legal framework called the family Court which is run by feminists who hate men. So odds are if your a man you will not get a fair shake in divorce court.
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