Do most guys want girlfriends, even if it's a busy time in their life?

[Anonymous]

I'm not gonna write a whole long explanation for this. There's a guy who I get along with well in my classes. You wouldn't guess we know each other well because we rarely talk, but when we do one-on-one he's enthusiastic and I don't feel pressured to act any way but myself. We're seniors in high school about to go to different (but close) colleges next fall, and I'm hopeless. I can't get the feeling out of my mind that if I didn't give him a shot I'd be missing out on something really, really good. Also, I learned that if I worry too much about the future, it neither affects the future nor makes my life better now.

We both have moderately busy lives, but we aren't needy people. I find him knowing things about me that I didn't tell him, or that I mentioned a long time ago. We have direct eye contact constantly when we're sitting down talking, but rarely make eye contact otherwise across a room.

I guess it was sort of a lengthy explanation, but oh well. I know I'm a dumb high schooler who shouldn't focus on guys, but I also know my limits. My question is more generic: can I count on him to be like most guys (?) that want to pursue a romantic relationship? (Little note: I've asked him to study with me and he asked me questions about myself most of the time we were together. Yet, he hasn't asked me to do anything with him.)

[MrOracle]

I think most guys - let's say about 2/3 - would like to have a girlfriend "ideally" - but often, their situation is far from ideal, whether it's a busy work schedule, a car or house or business that needs a lot of their attention, family responsibilities, or whatever. Some may not have their own place, and either have difficult roommates or parents, and would be embarrassed to bring you into those situations (not embarrassed of YOU - embarrassed of their current situation).

I own and run a small business, wearing all of the hats, so I definitely struggle with free time myself, but I've had it worse than this - I spend almost 3 years working 365 days a year, usually 12 hour days. Needless to say, I had zero social life during that period.

All you can do is ask. In most cases, you'll get a truthful answer. Yes, a few guys will lie and say "I'm not in a position to have a commitment right now" because they aren't as attracted to you, and might be in a relationship two weeks later - but such situations are actually pretty rare. And, often, the guy will REALLY appreciate you saying something, because he DOES in fact like you, but perhaps didn't think he had a chance with you.

It's always better to know the answer - even a "no" is better than not knowing, because if it's a "no", you can immediate move on and not waste any more of your time on something that has no chance of success. Not knowing is the worst possible situation.

[Asker]

Thank you. I completely agree with the last statement, though it always seems to be a constant battle in my mind with this kind of thing

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I'm saying this for the guys, don't get a girlfriend when you're busy. She will compete for your time and win.

Especially if you're both young and broke. Half these girls don't even realize how much they like to sleep around. You won't be able to offer her what she wants and you won't be building anything for yourself while you try and fail at both.

[SamIam96]

What do you have to loose by sharing your feelings with him? You seem to realize that there's a lot to gain. There is!

My advice is to take the risk. Move things to the next level. It sounds like he has similar feelings. If you go out, you'll find a way to manage the other pressures on your time.

[DaySpring]

Enjoy present pleasure in a way that doesn't derail the future.

My Advice - Stay close friends with him. Your time will come.

When it does come, you'll be ready.

[Asker]

Reading this again confused me a bit.
Would you mind clarifying?

[Jamie05rhs]

Yes; they do. For people seeking long-term relationships, a girlfriend isn't necessarily for "Right Now;" she's an investment in the future. He wants to invest in her and invest in their relationship. The end goal is that someday they might live together as a couple. But that's a long-term process; which is why we have no problem with getting started early. Baby steps.

[bowenw]

Yes, most guys want a girlfriend regardless of how busy their lives are. Get to know the guy as best you can. If you're open to a serious relationship try to drop hints or flirt.

[crossdressingrihno]

Yeah most guys want relationships including me but also there are guys like me who despite thinking relationships would be nice also think that being in one ultimately might not be the right decision for the time

[IsoUser]

I definitely would love to have a girlfriend vurses not having one at least you have someone to talk too and relive stress with and a different point of view.

[2021biguy]

Guys want a girlfriend even though life is hectic and busy. It would be good to have someone that can understand that.2 people can have busy lives and still love each other.

[scott04sa22]

i do but they keep rejecting me :(