Should I date or dump him?

[anonbrunette99]

I will make this short and easy to follow as possible

Physically I like him personality wise I like him but we had about 8 dates in total dated in August, 3 days, we then drifted (mutually responses lessened, neither one of us made the effort anymore) he came back, wanted to see me again, we had several more dates but he would sometimes ghost me for weeks sometimes a month or two between dates but I was aware he travelled bc of his job and had a busy lifestyle so I didn’t exactly take it too personal but there’s other red flag like him picking me up 30 mins late with no explanation or apology. He pays for everything though and always makes sure he either drops me off picks me up or buys me an Uber ride

now, we last hung out in febauary after reconnecting had 2 dates in that month and honestly he messaged me a few weeks ago and we finally are agreeing to hang out again this weekend. I don’t understand why.. he spaces out dates, doesn’t make it clear where I stand.
he's 31, he’s older but we never slept together yet. Our dates are usually activities

[NathanDavis]

if you have doubts or second thoughts about dating someone... at least to me, that is clear indication and signal that you're just not really into it...

and that is from your part, from his part... he is not consistent and not enthusiastic either...

which makes me wonder, have you been dating other people since? or nobody else? if you have been dating other people in the meantime, chances are that he is doing that as well

me, I would just not pursue any of this just because I would not be genuinely into it

[anonbrunette99]

But why would he waste his time and continue to date me? Like it literally makes no sense. Yes I have been dating other but none of those worked out. I just wonder why as a man he wants to keep dating me if he isn’t that into it especially when he’s not getting sex it’s senseless most men I know wouldn’t

[NathanDavis]

not everyone wants just sex... many people do want company and some attention

it is well known that many men go to prostitutes, escorts, strippers and other types of sexual workers, first they go for the sex yes... but after some times, they keep coming back mainly for the company and the attention

now I am not saying this is the case with him, but it could be that he just wants the company or the attention or to be seen with someone, or just to be with someone... maybe he is dating multiple people and he's getting sex from someone else

and also yes, perhaps most men would want the sex... just not all, at least not for now

[HollyK21]

If I were you I wouldn’t waste any more time in that situation and dump him. I know it’s easy sometimes for women to get “confused” with the whole ghosting thing when a guy pops back up, as this one seems to be doing, but to me this is less out of interest and more out of convenience, boredom, and loneliness. He’s found you, a girl who accepts him back into her life after each time he drops off the face of the earth, and you are one of very few who will tolerate such behavior. That’s why he comes back, and there is nothing interesting, confusing, or endearing about it.



This is just a man who cannot (or is just uninterested in doing so) prioritize a woman. His career and bachelor life comes first, which he couldn’t possibly make any clearer, given the amount of times he’s ghosted you. I’d say to take some time, figure out what you want from a man in a relationship and do not settle until you find someone who meets that standard.

[ohshee]

Well you have to figure that out yourself you already know down deep with the real deal is you just haven't listened to yourself

Okay so everybody in the world is different did you see things different good for me but I like a girl she's going to know it because I'm going to call her everyday I'm going to ask her out I would probably want to spend the weekends together because I enjoy being around her I'm not going to wait a week and then call her I want to know how's your days with I want to know more about her so you can look at it a couple different ways first of all I like her and I'm going to show it and you guys can look at it your way LOL you already know where it's headed you already know where it's going you just got to listen to yourself that's all

[Guardian45]

I could be wrong, but I don't hear that he has a burning need for you in your description. It sounds like you're conveniently available, and therefore, just a friend (confirmed by your activities).

So you have a decision to make. How badly do you want this guy? If you want him, then you're going to have to ramp up your game. If you're undecided, then keep him in the friend zone only.

[Sam_The_Savage]

You're just his backup plan for timepass...
He knows this cunt will always available whenever I text her even after months...

It's no brainer.

[anonbrunette99]

But we have never had sex so what is he getting out of it? To waste his own time?

[RealMarek]

Why don’t you ask him about his intentions? By all means, don’t sleep with him until you are sure of his intentions and how he views your status (exclusive? casual dating? Etc.)