How can guys have a perfect relationship after dating you? I was treated badly and he's moved on to a happy relationship now for a year?

[Anonymous]

I feel I was not treated very well by my last boyfriend. He would only see me once a week, he would forget to text me back for two days sometimes, and he never wanted to spend much time with me, he was very distracted. He would just go on boys trips all the time instead or was always busy.

Now, he's been dating another girl that I know for almost a year, and they do everything together. They go on trips, he treats her super well, they hang with all my friends. He never really did that with me. In fact, it was pulling teeth to get him to do anything.

Obviously it's because he probably likes her better & they click much better, but I feel he literally didn't put any effort into me at all. I feel a bit used and hurt. I know he wasn't the right guy for me, as our personalities were different, but how could he suddenly put so much effort into someone? I haven't dated for a year. I was his first relationship by the way, maybe I was asking for too much.

I'm pretty shy and quiet, so it's hard for me to do stuff. I just feel real dumb. I'm going to try to move on from this, but it does still hurt quite a bit. Why do some people do this? I'm sure plenty girls do too.

[Zweihander9005]

Relationships are a learning experience. We all want to show our SO we love them, but we’re usually stuck in our own ways of expressing love. With you he learned that spending quality time is very important so he’s making an effort with the next one.

I know you’re not looking for advice, but I’d suggest to stop seeing yourself as the victim in this and learn from it. You mentioned you were shy, maybe to a point where your communication with him was hindered. Work on that and make sure the next one is better.

[Asker]

Thanks😭😭! I appreciate it. I wish I could be happy too

I probably won’t date again soon bc of my shyness. I didn’t know it was so hard to work on. Thanks for this answer tho

[nawtee_me]

sounds like you never loved him or you would be happy that he is happy, even if it is without you. Have you been keeping up with him for the past year? are you stalking him? Why not just move on?

[Asker]

Thank you for this answer. He was very mean to me at the end for no reason, called me names, humiliated me in public, yelled at me in front of my friends, and then ghosted me. And is now suddenly very nice again. I see him constantly because he is in same friend group. I am trying to move out of my city and have deleted a lot of social media. I am trying my best. Thanks for this