I can never approach guys I like I have no idea how either I get defensive or I convince myself to give up. How do you even start conversation?

[Anonymous]

I refuse to approach guys I like because i always think their female friends have a better shot than me. Sometimes I think they hate me or something so although I’ll still refuse to approach them and instead always try to look disinterested or mad around them so they know I hate them back. Even if I can’t find a negative to pin them with I can’t think of a single way to approach a guy that won’t make him laugh at me for trying. Why is it so easy for everyone else.

[Anonymous]

You think their female friends have a better shot than you even though they haven’t asked these girls out or started dating them? If the guys thought they were that hot they’d have asked them out by now.

[Asker]

I don't know man he might just not have done it in that exact moment. He could be planing to. If not he may already find her attractive, maybe more attractive than he’ll ever find me. Either way she already has a head start over me so why would he choose me.

[Opinion Owner]

Or—I’m just asking you to keep an open mind here—those girls have been friendzoned. Sometimes when women try to be one of the guys they end up not being looked at as a possible girlfriend. Being someone new and from outside their immediate group of friends can work in your favor.

[Asker]

Maybe I don't know I don’t think I’d ever even find the courage to approach him anyway

[Opinion Owner]

Eh, you’ll never know what will happen unless you try. Just say hi and ask if he’d like to go out and get to know one another. You don’t have to be smooth or anything like that.

Asking people out gets easier the more you do it. As a guy you just get used to women either ignoring you or rejecting you. It doesn’t really bother you that much because you’ve been rejected before and it doesn’t have the same sting because you don’t build it up so much and make it into a big deal. I have no real fear of asking women out. I can relate though, I did at one time in the past.

[Anonymous]

So where's the problem?
You don't want to make a real effort and are creating a reason for not doing it. So the way I see it. You just continue what your doing ( or rather not doing lol). He'll never know. And eventually some other woman will get him instead. Life goes on for everyone. 🙂

[Asker]

It’s not that I don’t want o make an effort. I’m trying to break the cycle I just don’t want to look like a ducking idiot.

[Opinion Owner]

Nobody does pink anon! Lol
You know just because you "like" a guy doesn't mean you have to ask him out. You can just talk to him. He's not going to bite you. And you do get a guy NOT asking you out isn't a rejection, right?

[Asker]

When I talk to him I just get mean (playfully mostly) but it’s impossible for me to have normal conversation beyond commenting on what he’s doing in that moment. Like If he’s playing chess against another guy or something I’ll bet to him that he’ll lose, stay around if he wins I’ll congratulate him and if he loses I’ll say I called it. O he’ll usually take it pretty lightly and smile at me or something but them after that the conversation is done. And if I were to just say something to him his friends would make fun of me

[Opinion Owner]

Sounds to me like you don't really even know this guy. What are you attracted to. You don't ask what kind of music he listens to, you don't know any of his hobbies. What his goals are? Anything?

[Asker]

That should be obvious considering I can’t even talk to him so duh. But this isn’t just a bout one guy it’s about all guys. I have no guys I’m close with or able to talk to so yeah crushes on guys I barley talk to are my only option.

[Opinion Owner]

Well I hope it gets better for you. My attitude is there are 3.5 billion of the opposite gender on this planet. Why get nervous. Just because that one doesn't accept you doesn't mean you're unlovable or another guy won't.
You're giving these guys too much weight. Just my opinion.