I have actually asked them “why does every guy want to hold hands” or “you guys love hand holding don’t you” or “a lot of people ask to hold my hand!”
but I suffer from Asperger's making me a bit brutally honest at the worst times
@Chazmatazz269 is right about the fact that many men long for even a small amount of intimacy, so that is a factor, but it could also be that because Aspergers can make it difficult for you to pick up on body language and other language cues, and so their other flirty behavior is not getting any responses, they may be trying to hold hands in order to establish a connection - hoping a more direct approach will send the message.
I agree that it would normally seem a bit aggressive to move that quickly unless the girl was obviously wanting that (and some definitely do), and I wouldn't be shocked if some of these guys are socially inexperienced and awkward themselves, but I think some of them are probably sending signals to you that other girls have always picked up on, and when you didn't pick up on them, they were confused and even a bit panicked that they weren't communicating their interest successfully, so they escalated things to make sure the message got through.
I wish I could give you some good advice on how to handle this better, but I don't know you well enough to really know where your comfort levels are or how you are likely to feel in these situations, but I believe that most of these guys are doing their best to meet you halfway, and don't really understand the challenges you deal with, and so they mostly fall back on what they do know, and hope it works out.
Relationships are tough under the best of circumstances, so when you add in an additional challenge, some mistakes will be made, even with the best of intentions.
You are a bit socially awkward and mentally challenged, on account of the Asperger's.
Thus don't understand you need to specify you don't like being touched BEFORE meeting the people. Shaking hands and holding hands are a normal social interaction.
Obviously if he takes an iron grip on the hand or starts stroking it, then it's a different matter. You're not brutally honest, just ditzy and clueless about social situations and what they are about.
But your mental conditions is mitigation for that. Not saying you put "retard" on your online bio. But you need to specify you've got quirks other could find challenging.
Are you serious? Half the people have sex on their first date. Holding hands is nothing. It also keeps people from slapping the other.
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It hasn’t been normalized. It likely never will. Men suffer more from isolation and loneliness than women do. Women can hug, kiss and hold hands with their gal pals to get the physical intimacy most healthy human beings crave, and frankly require. Men still aren’t allowed to do that, at all. We’re only allowed to express physical affection for women we want to have sex with. The stigma is so severe that some fathers feel compelled to stop hugging their own kids around puberty.
Also, holding hands is the least a guy can do to suggest he’s interested in more than a friendship. We don’t even hold hands with OUR gal pals. Ell oh ell!
Count your blessings.
If you ask me, the only guys that feel the need to hold your hands on the first date or rush for it, are territorial men. Men are only territorial around women if they feel insecure. They are only insecure because they know the woman or girl deserves better than them.
I have made it a point all my life to hold a woman's hand when it feels right. If another man can make me feel insecure that I could loose my date, it is a clear sign that I am dating the wrong woman.
If a woman is compatible with you and she really likes you and everything is mutual, no guy can feel like they can take a shot at stealing the woman. The chemistry between the two of you alone should be enough to deter other men away. Forced hand holding to me is a red flag.
Hand holding is the easiest way to get some physical intimacy. The more you touch someone, the less awkward it becomes to go for.
Just tell them you have Asberger's, and that touching someone doesn't come easily for you, and that should solve it, or just add questions from people who don't know about it. Either way, less touchy touchy.
Men will try to hold your hand to test the physical waters with you. This is the most mild form of touching, as just about anywhere else on a females body it's more intimate. When a guy approaches this barrier, separating being able to touch a woman and not, he'll test it out by holding her hand, touching her arm or her lower back to move/ direct her around, then check to see if she's receptive to it.
For the most part, Men don't usually hold women's hand unless she give confirmation that it's ok Communicating first is always key plus if the man is a True gentleman, respectful, and you allow him to hold your hands, that is great sign of great affection, closer, and love especially if finds you attractive.
Let him know up front that you're an aspie and that it takes awhile to get used to people before you're comfortable with touching.
If he doesn't respect it, then that's it.
Ja - my son, brother and self are all aspies, too.
What is aspergers and that's not normal I wouldn't want to hold your hand on a first date that would be weird seeing as how I don't really know you. That would be very uncomfortable for me
I dunno. Maybe it's you sticking your ta-ta's all up in the camera?
In the words of Bill Engvall "Here's your sign".
I always thought holding hands was romantic... I may be wrong now 😳
How many times have you blown a guy or more on the first date?
Maybe you have nice hands
It's a way to gain trust
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