Is it selfish to feel like a man should fight for you. Is it asking too much to get reassurance when you express concerns. I broke it off with someone I dated for a month. He talked about me being someone he could see himself marrying but wanted to go at my pace. and couldn’t wait to introduce me to his parents.
The feeling was mutual. But I broke it off after One night of him making me feel confused and disrespected. He totally went ghost on me and didn’t even reply to my break up. It’s been a month of no contact. And now I’m mad that he didn’t even make an effort to at least acknowledge me. 😭
I don’t regret my decision but I feel like this generation of love is different. It’s so hard to date nowadays.
Is it selfish to feel like a man should fight for you?
The world moves very quickly these days. Social media really helped that! Everything is fast paced and short lived. People aren't genuine, they date for an array of reasons. And some to boost social status, bank balance, sexual prowess... Whatever. I dated someone before this guy in dating, and I really liked him. He kind of lied to me in the beginning by not telling me he had an issue with his leg. I won't lie I probably wouldn't have met up with him if he did. Because I'm an active person. He introduced me to friends and family on the second date awkward. But I thought OK he's serious. Then he started acting up being controlling and rude. He was bank tracking and making it seem like I was pushing for too much too quick when I was the only more or less following his lead. I found his indecisive behaviour really irritating and called it quits. I said we could remain friends but I realised that I was only temporary. He needed or wanted a date for his best friend's wedding. Ugh!
This new one I like but my guy is telling me I'm a meal ticket. Or at least that's what he thinks. He seems to want wifey behaviour without discussion
My boyfriend threatened my bosses when I was pregnant that if I got hurt carrying heavy objects (tables) during our monthly floor cleaning because the "men" I work with didn't want to help, that he would sue the living hell out of them for endangering our child. My bosses took him seriously & the men I work with hated me very much after that. I got a lot of "that isn't MY job, to help move tables" my owner over heard them say it once & said "it absolutely isn't in her job description either, but here she is doing it & while being 7 months along. We're a team here & the only one pulling ANY weight right now is her!"
it all depends upon circumstances doesn't it? if you just need/want the attention then you are probably a little narcissistic, if you have a genuine issue then its different.
for me, I've become so numb to drama and tantrums that in the circumstances you described, I would be quietly relieved that youd thrown in the towel. I'm not trying to be deliberately nasty to you, after all, you have your own plans, desires and ambitions, I respect that and theyre not for me to knock but just thought you deserve an honest answer instead of trying to kiss your ass and tell you "its all his fault" etc
It IS selfish and wrong. Men are going to prison for contacting women who dumped them. Even if no charges are filed, one post on social media about a guy who won’t leave alone the woman who just dumped him and his life is ruined. No job, no friends, even members of his family will distance themselves. He may as well learn a new language, leave the country and change his name, or off himself. So any man who “fights” for a relationship with a woman these days is either an idiot or a glutton for punishment. You broke up with one of the smart ones. Ell oh ell!
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Anonymous
(18-24)
1 y
You dated for a month and then broke it off. What’d you expect, him to show up at your house on his knees and beg for you to come back to him? No lol. A month is barely any time for a relationship. Sounds like he did the right thing and didn’t acknowledge your break up, and he moved on.
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Asker
1 y
I expected roses and a mariachi band outside my balcony 😂😂😂 In all seriousness he just removed me from all social media shortly after my breakup message and ran 😂 like I said I don’t regret my decision I stand by it. just sucks that I possibly could have hurt him.
I make it a rule for me that I DO NOT date exclusively. I am basically in an open relationship with several friends with benefits. A while back one of my ex friends with benefits did not return my texts. I was not trying to do anything but check on her. I finally sent her a last text basically saying have a great life and it was fun babe while it lasted. About 3 months later she texted me and wanted to come over. I simply told her no. It was disrespectful of her to ignore my texts. To this day I think she got offended that I was not kissing her ass. This is something I will NOT do.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
1 y
It seems pretty clear you didn't really intend to end the relationship, you just wanted him to feel bad about "confusing and disrespecting" you one night and beg you not to leave. You gambled and lost.
The irony is that you are the one who threw in the towel, so he is really the one who had a valid reason to wonder why you weren't willing to fight for him.
No, he did nothing wrong, you broke up with him after 'One night of him making me feel confused and disrespected' (I notice you don't say what this entailed) - what are you a child? If you have a problem with someone you talk to them, work through the problem, not just break up, relationships take work, you dated him for a month that's barely an introduction.
Now your upset that he's gone radio silent - what did you expect - him do the 'Pick me' dance? Men have seen that it rarely works and it's better to move on.
He did what women claim they want, to be left alone when they break up with someone now you're pissed that he did just that? God entitled much?
Men will fight for a relationship when they think its worth it, Would not be surprised if he's decided that you are not worth the effort.
@TheSpaceGnome I'm using 'fighting for her' as she sees it, not as we men think of it, her 'fighting for her' is the 'Pick me' dance, we have gotten wise to the 'Pick me' dance, now when a women instigates the break up men now just go 'Fine' and move on.
@TheSpaceGnome The 'pick me dance' is trying to win back the person that has broken up with you by deluging them with messages through texts, social media, showering them with gifts, invites to dinner.
Why would someone fight for a piece of garbage like you? That's never going to happen... You had a minor misunderstanding that made you feel funny and rather than work it out, you dumped the guy and now you have crazy delusions about him on his knees in the rain begging you. Crazy as shit.
This isn't the 18th century to have to fight for a woman. Besides, a woman who expects one guy to kill or beat the other in a melee fight is not worthy the effort.
In nowadays terms grovelling, humiliating yourself and/or begging a woman to stay with/return to you is also not worthy the effort.
There's plenty of "fish" in the sea, so the man would do better to find a better woman.
There isn't a point to acknowledging a person who broke up with you over one argument.
Either the argument was so bad that incompatibility was revealed, or she breaks up with people over stupid shit. Either way, responding (let alone trying to prevent the breakup or "fight for her") is not worth it.
You leave out a lot of details, but from what you wrote, thats what my opinion is.
and if you think otherwise then you think it’s ok for men to fight women
Why do you think females in the wild can’t survive without males if a female grizzly comes across a male grizzly she either better give up her goodies or make peace with the lord in her final moments
What did he do or say to make you break up with him? He probably felt like there was no reason and that you want to be left alone after breaking up with him.
The way i view it is; if it's a situation involving her, i trust she can handle herself. if i can see she needs backup, i will be there, as i would expect her to feel/do the same for me. The whole pokemon battle situation of being treated like a pokemon, is not ok with me.
I am having the same problem as this dude is having with you don't do this. If we are this far in our head with a girl We are in love to the max. The fsct you allready dated him makes it worse for him. A good guy like this doesn't like the games and having to compete with other men. He Just wants to put his energy in loving you.
So yes it is very selfish to ask for him to fight for your attention,.
I guess it depends on what he did that made you feel disrespected. Intuitively, I read what you shared and thought "okay, but why would any respectful man fight for you after you made your desire to break up known?"
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
1 y
If you're giving g little too nothing? Yes.
So many women make the mistake of thinking that just because she has female genitalia that a good should pursue/fight for her. Why? There are 3.5 billion women on this this planet with the same thing. The ONLY thing that makes you special is how you treat others.
I recently discovered the term Situationship however there was no definition attached. I’ve seen people use the phrase sliding into my DM’s? This is used in lieu of a phone call or a face-to-face meeting. There is immense pressure for real people to live up to the standards set by airbrushes and editing programs on Instagram and Snapchat. These just weren’t problems 10-15 years ago. The prospect of dating someone by email or Facebook or video chat it doesn’t make a whole Lotta sense to me. You could be dating someone on a different continent or even on the international space station without ever actually meeting getting married and having kids. Screens seem way more important than conversations, and this is making people more awkward in person. There’s always gonna be part of a relationship that you have to do in person, and it will be very interesting to see how industry tries to outsource or network physicality on mobile electronic platforms. Young people say they don’t seem to know how to deal with ideas or subjects that their fragility disables them from contemplating. People outside the west are openly mocking Westerners lack of ability to deal with WORDS.
I'm going to do that if a girl ever breaks up with me lol. Thanks for posting. But why would he fight for you... You don't even fight for him... He dodge a bullet clearly. This is why don't understand girls. They play games too much.
