Guys, Why my boyfriend saves pictures of other hot girls but not mine?

[Anonymous]

Hi guys, I recently discovered that my boyfriend has a folder full of sexy girls' photos from internet, they are random online girls so I don't really have a problem with that but he doesn't really save my photos that I took only for him (of the similar sort)... I know that it's pretty normal for guys to have their fap folder.

I have to add that our relationship is happy and healthy, we always try to talk through our concerns and we don't really have many problems in our relationship, we love each other dearly. We are together for 2 years now. We have quite an open relation to sex, and our sexlife is good, we talked about it honestly many times before.

He is even sending me some photos of such girls, I'm guessing it's for me to try to copy that in my photos but now I'm wondering if I even should continue with my photos for him as he never saves them. Can you please help me understand why does it happen?

[ThinkFitness23]

These girls are only fantasies, your partner has you and definitely would wank off to images of you if you spilt…


TBH I regularly pleasure myself to images and videos of my partner but we only live together 3 day a week.


I’m sure your partner is very “into you”… You pleasure him in ways these girl never have and that’s way more powerful and of course meaningful.


There’s a whole host of things I could share with you that would drive him wild, although your probably doing some of them already.


Don’t stress to much about this he loves you, I would say that you your right to pause and think and the situation and I understand how this could have caused a little concern.


Make sure you understand his desires and needs and cater for this, take control you have powers you don’t even know that will have him thinking of you more and he will see just what a lucky boy he is.


Talk to him about this, don’t argue but maybe politely ask him how he would feel if you had an album like this of your own.

[MystiKaL]

It's his jerk off collection when he is bored and cannot get some from his lovely girlfriend. The fact that you know about his collection of photos means he is being honest with you.

Not all guys behave this way. Most guys in a relationship will watch the occasional porn. But it's not unusual for a guy to have photos for a hand shandy session, even if he is in a relationship. As long as he doesn't cheat on you, his eyes and right hand (or left) is doing no harm.

[Asker]

Thank you! That answer has the most sense there :)

[MystiKaL]

You're welcome :)

[FilmGuy93]

It’s just window shopping. I wouldn’t read much into that, but I can understand why you feel a little insulted by it. If it makes you uncomfortable, you really ought to speak up about it.

[coachTanthony]

You suck at being the hot girlfriend. Do better.

[Asker]

A reply worth of an influencer.

[coachTanthony]

Awww thanks 🙏

[Truthatanycost]

'I know that it's pretty normal for guys to have their fap folder.'

No it is not. Only weak men that have been brainwashed by society think that's normal. Your boyfriend actions are said to be normal by society, it's promoted in teen flicks and peers will say they all do the same thing. But it is not normal. As much as you attempt to rationalize it, all of those images mean energy going elsewhere... where it should not be going. A lot of women make the mistake of 'accepting' it purely because society is accepting of it. I disagree.

'they are random online girls so I don't really have a problem with that'

But you do have a problem with it. That's just rationalization. Every girl in that picture, despite being random is still an individual human-being. They have no business being 'in' your relationship!

'we love each other dearly'

Then all of his energy should only be focused on you and his purpose... not random girls!

[dragoblack]

It is normal for guys to have a porn collection. It might not be your thing, but it is pretty normal, even in a relationship. Guys have it due to lonely nights when apart. Also, when in relationships there is a point when 2 people get so used to each other, having porn actually desensitizes from that to help keep the relationship exciting.

[TwiNshichamp1]

Bro I support you, that's the not normal, week Men can be brainwashed with online naked girls.

[dragoblack]

Dude. Porn doesn't make a man weak. Porn is just a pleasure maintenance thing. What makes a man weak is insecurities they don't want to work on and unrealistic expectations.

[Truthatanycost]

@dragoblack Watching images of people having sex with each-other while expelling your life force onto a bit of tissue is normal... doesn't sound normal.

[TwiNshichamp1]

@dragoblack Porn makes men week bro, it was created for entertainment, but it's addicting and it's has many health problems. And you will always come back no matter what, that's why the industry worth Billions of Dollars. Okay you can say other people watch it 1 per month or so. But for people watching it 24/7 it's a toxic.

Young men nowdays loose proper direction about sex and healthy relationships. Due to many fetishes and weird fantasies created in porn.

It's better for a single man to fap without watching porn, if it's necessary. I tell you because experienced this. It destroys someone's concentration, it will make you hooked like a magnet do. Especially if you start watching it at young age (12+).

[TwiNshichamp1]

@dragoblack If men could control themselves when they want to, men could never be week. But it doesn't do that, Someone become Dopamine slave without watching it, someone don't feel good, or even settled. Now tell me how someone doesn't become weak!!!

[dragoblack]

Ok, 1- you don't reduce your lifespan by masturbating, that's absolutely BS; 2- men don't masturbate 24/7, nor watch porn 24/7; 3- men dont have any direction when it comes to sex, because it is super uncomfortable for parents to talk about it with their child, so for many generations no parents have given their kid guidance in when it comes to sex; 4- I've been watching porn since kindergarten and I've become a healthy minded individual; 5- people have no direction when it comes to healthy relationships and romance due to movies and tv giving a bad idea of how relationships work, and because they have had no guidance from their parents who didn't get guidance from their's; 6- fetishes are fine, they teach communication & understanding in the bedroom while spicing up the sex life; 7- the so called "sex moves" that people learn from scripted porn are because no one ever told them they are fake for entertainment reasons and that amature porn aka sex tapes are where actually sex is.; 8- many scientists have studied masturbation and have found it healthy for people to do, because it not only helps with fighting depression, but it also reduces stress, which stress can cause all sorts of health issues; 9- "destroys someone's concentration"? Dude, looking at attractive people walking down the street does that too. But porn does not destroy a person's concentration permanently either; and 10- men can control themselves, they just choose not to, nor even work on themselves to get rid of insecurities. Men have always been able to control themselves but it takes working on oneself to control impulses and thinking before doing. I'll be real with you, men are lazy when it comes to mental self improvement because for many generations, men treated women like objects and servants and it is just recent that society has started to change that mindset and start treating people like people.

[dragoblack]

Society norms, toxic parts of society, and lack of proper parental guidance is the problem, not porn. Your focus is in the wrong place. Is isn't the porn, its the society we've been groomed around that is the problem.

[Asker]

@dragoblack I agree with you, watching porn shouldn't be considered as something abnormal if it's done in let's say a healthy amount. And both porn and movies are giving a wrong idea about life in a relationship, but I hope that as healthy-thinking adults, we can tell apart this bullshit from everyday life. Anyway, you seem like a reasonable person, so here's my question, what if a person is watching porn every day but not as a fapping material, more like a TV, having it in the background while doing other stuff? What would you say to that?

[dragoblack]

They just find it entertaining. Sometimes porn can have a good story plot. Look up the pirates of the Caribbean porno. It had a huge budget and an even bigger Budget for the second one... if i remember correctly it was 2 to 3 million usd. It is known for being such an amazingly done porno movie people watch it for the plot & story rather than the sex scenes.

[TwiNshichamp1]

@dragoblack @pirate of Caribbean porn? 😳

[TwiNshichamp1]

@asker how is it done in health amount while it's addicting?

[Asker]

@TwiNshichamp1 yeah I'm not sure how much is ok actually. And what if it's not full story telling porn but girls masturbating online?

[TwiNshichamp1]

@asker the problem is you will feel an urge to masterbate an cum. And masterbating with a fake sex is so bad in many ways. There is a a lot about this topic.

[dragoblack]

Yep, pirates of the Caribbean, porno.. i think ots just called "pirates" is known for being entertaining because it actually had a movie size budget rather than the cheap thrown together costumes and high school grade fan fiction level writers that pornos usually get.
Also porn addiction is honestly not common. most people usually masturbate 1 to 3 times a day if even that. The only other cases where high amounts of masturbation happens, which is about 4-6 times a day, is because of a high sex drive. But hydration is important for that and taking breaks every couple of hours. Even with a high sex drive it's not every day.

[TwiNshichamp1]

@dragoblack Yap different things to different folks. I myself when I do watch porn I loose concentration and I don't want that to happen. And I should masterbate Everytime I see it. And I don't want that. It's better to ejaculate in real sex than in fake sex. Porn has many disadvantages, but also it depends on people. All in all it's not good. Many incidents like rape and many of those are the results of people being exposed to porn in a early age. But it's not for all people.

[loveslongnails]

He sees you every day so why does he need a collection of your photos? These other girls turn him on too, and the fact he sends you pictures of them tells me he wants you to emulate something about them. He wants to make his ideal fantasy/rt girl, so he thinks. What do you think about that? He wants you to be something like each of them, that's why he's doing it, in my opinion.

Next time he does it, just ask him "what about her do you want to see on me?" Find out how he's trying to change your appearance, because that's what guys very often do, subconsciously if not overtly.

I wouldn't send him another pic of yourself from now on unless he specifically asks for one, and even then, you can turn him down. See how long it takes for him to notice you're not sending them anymore.

[Asker]

That is an interesting view, you might be right here. I was thinking if sending those photos to me might mean to try to emulate them. But what's the point when he's not saving it.

[loveslongnails]

He doesn't need to save them, he can find them anytime on FB. Why else would he be sending them to you if not to say " look at this - I really like this and find it beautiful". I think he's trying to build you into his physical dream girl. What do you think? What will you do?

[Asker]

Well I'm not talking here about normal photos, those are some spicy photos only for him that I wouldn't post anywhere. So I'm kinda already doing that what he may want.

[loveslongnails]

That's not what I mean. He's liking girls photos on FB that aren't necessarily spicy, it's about their "look".

[Fireguy17]

You might want to think about doing more than just not send him pictures, it's time to send him his walking papers.

That is really disrespectful behavior.

He is with you, but has a crap ton of other women's pictures on his phone.

What do you think he would do if this was reversed?

I'm thinking he would lose his shit.

This does not sound very healthy for any relationship.

It is a small step from saving pictures to actually being with them.

Myself, I would not put up with that.

[Anonymous]

Hi guys, I recently discovered that my boyfriend has a folder full of sexy girls' photos from internet,

😆 to your restricting answer to men. But admittedly, you were right to.

I guess some 90% of men have such a folder; on the other hand I'd expect that to be the case for, at the very most, 10% of women. He may share a couple of those photos to you to kindle some jealousy in you, or as a "gurl, you can do better" kind of admonishment: in both cases the goal could be to make you act more sexy, or whorishly.

[Weapon77]

Have you asked him? My instinct is that he doesn't want to have pictures of you that someone could leak if his phone gets stolen, lost, or hacked. But personally, I keep pictures of girls who send them too me, but I never keep random pictures of internet girls because I can find them online anytime. Saving those pics seems like a waste of effort and storage.

[TheVigilantOne]

For him to be saving other girl’s pictures and not yours is a bit weird in my opinion, why does he need photos of other women? You are his girlfriend so he should be having photos of you if he wants alone time he should be doing it over you not some other girl, I don’t have photos of strange people on my phone when I had my girlfriend I had photos of her on my phone no other women and now that I’ve ended the relationship I deleted them all, to me this just seems disrespectful.

[Anonymous]

Honestly I probably wouldn't save them neither. What would be the point when I have you? I don't have a folder and I think porn is harmful as hell BUT I assume guys save what they see as novelty. He has you on tap and so why would he need to save a photo.
Honestly the whole saving photo thing is for the older men; the early millennials and the generation before them. Why would anyone save anything in 2022.

[Asker]

we're talking about a millennial here so :) Thank you for sharing your view!

[allthewronganswers]

If your relationship is as good as you say it is, you should be sitting down and asking him why he is sending them on to you.
The fact that you have asked about this behaviour here seems to point to you being a little bothered about it.
I personally have never kept a photo dossier of pretty girls on my phone and then sent them on to my s. o.
Without seeming suggestive, I would turn the tables here if you don't get a satisfactory answer as to this behaviour. See how he likes it.