He avoids me but looks at me whenever I’m not looking? Why?

[Anonymous]

We had a falling out recently and he ended up blocking me and made some hurtful comments about me. Whatever. I apologized to him for my behavior during our short affair and he apologized to me for his behavior. Haven’t spoken to him since and I WILL not until he first initiate the conversation.

He goes out of his way to purposely avoid me. Goes in a different direction all together to not see me or will avoid eye contact with me. Will also go in another direction after passing me to just avoid me and if he sees me in that direction he’ll absolutely avoid it on purpose.

I’ve been told recently that whenever I’m not looking he’ll look at me. Watch me walk into the room, look at me as I walk by, etc. I’ve also caught it on numerous occasions from the corner or my eye). They aren’t dirty looks. Just emotionless looks.

Note: He has a weird obsession with one of my guy best friends who is my co worker. (Only friendly interactions) that I’ve been in conversations with him and my co worker has told me he’s told me he’s watched the guy watch, nosiness, listen in on our conversation, and look at us. (This isn’t the first time he’s done it)

Updates

1 y

By avoiding eye contact I mean up close eye contact as he’s passing me or walking by IF he absolutely has to. Basically he’ll look at me before he actually has to pass me.

Also: he always takes a glance at whoever I’m talking to whenever he’s near and I’m in a conversation with somebody and we’re being obnoxious or just having friendly fun together.

[AmeerX]

What do you really want out of this guy? Is it a relationship, affair, a friendship with benefits perhaps or a platonic friendship. whatever you want then first decide on it.

After that you should understand the guy has a girlfriend. If you want to be relationship then you should try to talk to him as his second option. Don't try to be his only love. You can't do it ever. But need I remind you even if he is unhappy this is not Europe where mistresses are going to be treated better and wives will get replaced so easily.

[Asker]

Nothing. I want to know why he’s acting this way after a falling out between us. That’s it.

[AmeerX]

I don't mean to make you feel unhappy.
If it was me I would have liked to stay friends with a girl I had affair with but I know the guy feels that his girlfriend is going to feel threatened from you.
You need to not just be his friend but try to talk to his girlfriend as well. Make her your friend or at least talk to her and tell her you don't have an issue with her. Basically tell her to have an open heart and stop suffocating him. You were only with him because she was not providing him everything he needed

[Daniela1982]

She asked this question twice now.

[AmeerX]

@Daniela1982 I understand

[Massageman]

I could see this going so many different ways. Normally, I would say he is putting up a front, but is still interested in seeing your reactions to things (the peeking). From past entries you made, he just doesn't seem like things are going "normally".

Even though you are avoiding eye contact, he seems to want to have some eye contact, even if it IS "only on the sly". Now, whether that is because he loves, you , likes you, just wants to see your reaction, hopes you are in agony and crawls back to him, etc. THAT is the tricky question. No one can really answer that one for you, in my opinion.

[dynamicyandere]

I agree with this here. He’s looking for your reaction, wanting to check up on you to see to see how the break up is affecting you. I believe normally people do this through social media, to see how their ex is doing, but he’s physically giving you glances instead.

[Daniela1982]

How do you know he is when you are not looking?

[spartan55]

Seems like even though your dispute ended his feelings towards you shifted for whatever reason. He may look at you different/lost respect for you... tough to say.

[Asker]

Yeah but the staring and shit? It’s super weird to me

[spartan55]

Just ignore him. He will bug off.

[Asker]

I haven’t paid any attention to him in days. Maybe glanced at him three times as he walked by but never said a word to him. Not one.

[spartan55]

Well with the level of detail you gave, you are obviously pay a lot of attention to him...😂

[Asker]

I’ve only noticed the purposely avoiding and the looking at me. Other people have mentioned him looking at me as well.

[Phantomf4]

I’d say he still has feelings for you but is scared to admit it to both you and himself. He knows how much it got twisted in the falling out and isn’t sure how to fix it or is unsure if you would take him back so he’s scared of being hurt if he tries

[Guy13]

Very strange behavior.

[Asker]

Dudes fucking weird. I don’t get it either.

[Kelly6]

Nervous and shy but likes you

[msc545]

Ask him, not us.

[In_Trance]

asl him why