Am I just a place holder?

[Anonymous]

So I've been seeing this guy and we get along pretty well. I thought he wanted us to date since he's been making all the first move but when I asked him to be my boyfriend he said he didn't want a relationship. He's very affectionate like forehead kisses and he checks up on me everyday when I get sick. He does lecture me about my health and he. hugs me but it's never when our co-workers or anyone we work with is around if it a a friend or cousin or some family member he doesn't mind holding my hand or anything. We are both busy sibwe don't hang out often but when we do he hugs and squeezed me and kisses me all over my face and says he missed me but I doubt he likes me a lot. If he did y wouldn't he want a relationship sure he has my best interest at heart and cares about but I think he's leading me on and giving me hope until he can dump me and someone better comes along and I don't wanna stay for that.

Updates

1 y

I think that I'm. just ignoring the red flag the first time i asked what he liked about me he said he liked the fact that u didn't assume that he just approached me for sex and that I was actually nice talking to him and didn't respond all extra.

[quaranta]

I think you should just take the signals as true: he said he doesn't want a relationship. It means most likely he actually doesn't want a relationship otherwise he would say something more vague like "I want to keep things slow because I just broke up with my ex", or stuff. But he said a "no", while knowing there was the risk this could drive you away, yet he took the risk.
If you are confused by these flirty signs you have totally the right to ask him what his intentions are if he first says "no" but then behaves like "yes" because you are legit confused by facts. If he renews his "no relationship" then yeah you should move on and focus on other guys because it means you're either a placeholder or he just wants a fuck buddy with all the passion pack included but no strings attached. Which also means no exclusivity, by the way, so don't make him your "only one" either until he commits to you for real.
So if he says "no" again, tell him you have to move on and need distance and space to detach and start dating others with serenity, and to "excuse" you for that but that is how things will be. Most likely, when he will see you are actually contacting others and replying less frequently and with shorter texts, he will cling back and try to win you at any cost but that is typical of guys like that, you can give him a chance only if he proves himself very serious and committed, not just desperate.

[Asker]

I ended things yesterday and he's still friendly and all smiles as usual but he did a pretty shifty thing this morning. My necklace broke in his car a few days ago instead of privately returning it to me. He full blown called my name out in the store cause we work for the same company but different stores and departments and handed it to me. After I said I didn't want anyone to know if we do start dating they are all nosy there. I Shoulda left this after that one time we were doing it and he picked up his phone and answered it and it was my freaking supervisor and he kept thrusting after I kept hitting him to stop.

[Cocochoh]

Yeeeeees answer is right there. Dude been making moves now shit get spicy. Your now his cup holder I mean place holder.

[BarryLiverstone]

You are both placeholders. Why haven’t you asked him to help you find a boyfriend?