How am I supposed to trust men when this happens?

Question

Why do married men cheat? And why am I a reoccurring target.

The amount of times this has happened…I’ve lost count.

And the stereotype is men cheat when they’re older and bored and whatever - no, these are young men around my age who have beautiful wives.

Long story short - this guy used to hit on me at the gym last year. Tbh he did the most, like park next to me all the time and once he trapped me so that I couldn’t get in my car until I called him out.

So I guess he had a girlfriend the entire time and he got married a few months ago and I never saw him again.

I woke up this morning and somehow he’s found my social media and he liked all my photos. In his account he clearly displays his wife and she is very present.

I ignored it and towards the evening he did it again.

Honestly I stay out of peoples business but it’s really frustrating and demotivating to see this kind of behaviour.

It happens SO MUCH.

How are we supposed to trust men and love them and marry them when they behave like this?

TonyMetal___86 · Accepted Answer

Because this type of guys is the type whom you shouldn't be in love with, trusted or to be married with... etc

Men does such things but also women does it but the thing is that men are easier to find out about them when they cheat, unlike women 😄

Miss alyssa rapunzel, when you want to think about love, trust and marriage, think about guys like me and not the type of guys that tou have mentioned 🤣

Now tbh, the world ain't fair, you know why? It's because if a girl finds out that her man never cheats, loves her and trust her, she might start cheating on him 😂

Yeah it sounds funny but believe me that this is the reality...

DummyThiccFeraligatr · Accepted Answer

Girl, I completely understand but from the dude's side: it seems like girls with boyfriends and married women are 80% of the ones who flirt with me or make passes.

Such behavior really makes a person not want to get into a relationship, because you expect your partner to do the same thing to you.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Sucky people suck, but the good news is that you can scare a lot of those people off by having a healthy sense of boundaries.

Genie23 · Answer

To be honest, it has happened to me countless times in person and on social media even recently by men who got married this year or a year ago and some 10 years ago, it makes me sick to my stomach and feel bad for their wives to be in the dark of their partners actions and behaviour. I ignore/avoid when they try to flirt or make a move.

But that doesn't mean I'll start doubting every guy because it's not just married men and guys in a relationship I've seen cheat, I've seen so many girls and womsn cheat too in their relationship/married. I was shocked when my eyes were opened in my early 20s and saw not just coworkers, housemate, college mate, acquaintance cheats but also my closest friend did at a time and one of my friend was single but she had an affair with a married guy with two children after his wife got pregnant with the first time. Since I realised that I started maintaining distance before cutting off completely.

I think it's unfair to doubt/get suspicious of every guy just because you saw many of them cheat because every individual is different. Some have good morals and conscience. So, we shouldn't have trust issues until and unless that particular guy you're into did something that broke your trust until then don't do that trust them. Some people are worth trusting

glennos89 · Answer

Woman are often attracted to the wrong type of guys and the ones they should go for are boring and put in the friendzone 🤷‍♂️

Every guy knows that if you are a good man who is caring and kind you will end up in the friendzone every time. I know it from my own experience because I get friendzoned very often aswell which is frustrating af.

Woman complain about getting cheated on so you try to educate them about how men behave and what she should do to help her find a better guy but the next minute you see her making the exact same mistake over and over again 😂🤷‍♂️

Not that I can blame them because you can't choose who you are attracted too but I see many girls choosing the wrong type of guys over and over again. If you are into badboy type of guys or into the very handsome smooth talking guys then your basically screwed 🤷‍♂️

But let's be honest and real with eachother... Being in a relationship with 1 person for the rest of your life is something that society teached us from birth but being monogame isn't natural behaviour for humans.
When you go back to the basic principle of reproductive behaviour you have to understand that men are spreading their seeds wherever they can by nature and woman search on different places aswell to obtain the best genes for her offspring.

Society misleads us from birth. We grow up and we are told at school how we should behave, what we should achieve at certain ages. Having a family when you are in your 20s, work yourself for a crappy wager the rest of our lifes which is depressing and unnatural. That's why we are living in a society that is rotten to the core. We are enslaved from the moment we are born till the moment we die

RealMarek · Answer

I once had a friend I grew up with who happened to be the prettiest girl in my class. One day she asked me “Am I good looking?” I realized she felt insecure about how she looked. But what is odd, given my shyness and lack of experience, is that the words that came to me were “You are the most beautiful girl I know. That is a blessing and a curse, so be careful.” You are a beautiful woman. And now, as I understand it, beauty is a gratuitous blessing that defies explanation, not a curse, and is to be valued. However, you will get attention from all sorts of men, good and bad. Sometimes the worst men are the most shameless, and most apt to behave boldly. You need to guard yourself against these men, but also against cynicism about men in general. I understand this is a difficult time because, in the West, masculinity has been heavily subverted in your generation, and well balanced masculinity is not an easy thing to inculcate in the first place. But please, don’t give up. When you come across guys like this, just step over them. Don’t give them emotional real estate. Instead, look for the men who are strong and confident but also a bit humble and down to earth. Preserve your mental energy for these men.

lightbulb27 · Answer

I can only guess you are "projecting" such that they find this interest. maybe very attractive or emotionally projecting.

Do you have wounds in your life around being cheated or trampled upon, abandoned, etc? that be projection. doesn' t sound like it as you have boundaries.

otherwise, what I just heard, is this one guy and who knows the whole story if he was with the girlfriend at the time.

note... girls do this as well... you have to choose well and maintain/build what you want.

very corrupt world... choose carefully.

HawkPerception · Answer

Would you say all men are murderers because some are? Would you say all men are rapists because some are? Saying you can't trust all men due to the actions of the minority that get in your face, harass you, and cheat is not fair to the ones that do not and try to live their lives as righteously as they can.

When people get cheated on in relationships or get into toxic relationships then break up with someone, they tend to build an emotional wall. The problem with this is that when you build an emotional wall, it makes it very hard for others to climb over it or break it down. You limit the potential you could have with others because of the experience you had with the previous ones.

In my opinion it's always best to judge someone with a fresh pair of eyes.

TheMadLad · Answer

Just don’t generalize It, It happens a lot from both sides.
Lately society has been toxic due to the under going circumstances like social media, Movies, Inner dissatisfaction and trying to forget things through cheating etc..
The list goes on.
The truth is people were always cheap but today’s society encouraged men to cheat and also women.
You have no clue how many times my friends (when I was living abroad) tried to make me sleep with prostitutes and women in general, they made it their goal to manipulate me to do so.
If you’re talking about Muslim men, I realized that they cheat because they simply think it’s cool and manly.
الاحساس بالنقص when they travel abroad

OfMiceandMen · Answer

For sure, the guy's an ass.

My advice, is chalk the whole experience up to that one individual. We decent guys can't undo what other guys do that hurts people like you and your friend. We wish we could... but it's just not in the cards. All we can do is apologize for someone else's poor behavior and hope that gives some solace.

All I can say, is try not to use too broad a strokes with that paintbrush as it is a bit of insult to be lumped-in with such men.

As for me, I try to wipe the slate clean each time and give the next person the benefit of the doubt. Shitty people do shitty things, but we can't let that experience dictate how we behave/view the next person we are interested in, either that or the shitty people win.

strateguy632 · Answer

first of all, you "generalized" if one is bad "all can't be trusted," n what about lady, not even one did adultery?

if you want loyalty, best probability is someone who believes "adultery is a sin" like christian. do u think atheist or agnostic believe god punished adulterers? they often say "two consenting adults nothing wrong". still...

still... why is men nature like that? call it evolution the idea of many "parallel pregnancies" defined the "drive urge" to get many. even bible recognized the urge allowed men four wifes jacob n quran. but luckily new testament has different moral standards one wife in book timothy.

richardcory · Answer

Seems like you have run into some really obnoxious people. Parking you in is totally unacceptable, as is a lot of the behavior you describe.

I'd suggest that at the first sign of that sort of behavior, you cut contact, no one is worth that

inhua · Answer

the more options someone has, the less faithful they are inclined to be

hot men tend to have the most options and are less likely to be faithful, the same applies to hot women. ugly women still get attention from thirsty dudes so they are less inclined to stay faithful as well. ugly men have no options and will tend to be more faithful than the others

oddwaffle · Answer

#1 obvious reason. Wife not giving them sex. Most guys cheat because of dead bedroom. If he isn't getting it at least once a week then he is going to look for someone to rekindle his heart.

For everything else, they would just initiate a divorce or life separately.

A guy is really easy to stay happy. As long as the wife keeps his belly and his balls drained then he will continue to keep going no matter how tough it gets.

Rockstarrrrr · Answer

They do it because a lot of women are okay with it and allow it... whether it's the side chick or the main chick lol... Obviously Not every guy is like that.. most of the guys I know are pretty faithful... but I think it gets worse with time... Less and less quality partners in general... I mean, do people still even do relationships anymore? .. It seems like all they do is flings and situationships lol...

PointTaken · Answer

It's tough to trust when that happens. Some guys are like that and they stand out because they're pushing into your life. The good ones don't stand out because they don't make a "bad" memory. I've been cheated on by a couple women, I never cheated. It sucks. I feel bad for his wife.

Spade_01 · Answer

I always say this to anyone who starts seeing people of one category (be it men, women, people of certain ethnicity or religion etc) that if you want to start seeing them as good, have a look at the similar 'bad' things done by other people. In your case, you can see how many married women, even with kids cheat on their husbands as well. We want to generalise others to have a sense of convenience for ourselves and of course, for a man, it'll be easy to generalise women and for women, men. Try looking at good and bad sides of everything and you'll be able to take chances with more trust.

nawtee_me · Answer

You are not supposed to love and marry the men who are already married. I can not tell you why they cheat, only they know why. However I could ask you the same question, why do you cheat with so many men? Are you asking if they are married before you get involved with them?

RingOfFire · Answer

It's an unfortunate fact of life that women have been struggling with at least for a few thousand years. Men have a different view of relationships and sex. Millions of years of evolution designed them to be the hunters and to have more than one woman bear their children. It's a survival of the species thing. In most cultures today this is not fashionable or acceptable. So men struggle to adapt caught between the cultural ideal and their genetic mandate. As with many other genetically programmed traits, it is a hard battle to fight and many men lose.

DextroShade · Answer

It's only a minority of men that cheat, because that's the same minority that get the majority of women, with a third of guys getting none at all. The problem is that the guys who don't cheat are invisible to most women.

Shamalien · Answer

Because not all men are the same? Ram that through your head. Many men would never, ever even dream of cheating. Woman are the same. Lots would cheat, lots would not. Men and women with a promiscuous past are more likely to cheat

LazerBean · Answer

Because men who sleep around aren't going to stop just because they get a girlfriend or get married.

How am I supposed to trust men when this happens?

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