I asked a guy out and I’m not sure if it’s a pity date?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been friends with this guy for awhile, and yesterday I asked him out. He said “can I get back to you on that” but like a minute or two later he said “you’ve put in a lot of effort so sure I’ll go on a date with you”. I was assuming this maybe meant he likes me? My friend said smth about him liking me and he said what no but he was smiling when she said that so I don’t know if it’s actually a pity date or not.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it's just me but with a response like that I'd cancel. Nothing wrong with girls asking guys out, but it's simply not the same as it would be the other way around, so you got to be careful. Guys almost never get asked out so it's out of their natural skill to properly reciprocate. As someone who did a lot of asking out, I can tell you for sure that almost every guy will say yes to a date, regardless if he likes you or not. Simply because it's rare and feeds the ego (and we all know about male ego). Another very important fact is that guys are not picky when it comes to sex, so even if he has 0 interest in dating, just the fact that possibility for him to get laid without much effort (because you already took care of that) is an opportunity that most wouldn't miss. So with that said, the lack of his enthusiasm would def turn me off and I'd call it off with some excuse, and then leave the ball in his court. He now knows you like him, so unless you are fine with having a very platonic, awkward, one-sided date with this guy, I suggest you wait and see what he does next.

P. S. Keep in mind that some guys actually think they get free pass directly to your pussy just by you showing interest for a date, so don't be surprised if you do go out with him and he ends up angry and confused if you don't have sex at the end. Happened to me couple of times.

[magiusX26]

you generalized there. plenty of us are picky (to some degree or another) on whowe will date and sex. i have actually turned down both a few times in life for various reasons.

[EricSummer]

If I asked a woman for a date and she said something like that, I would mainly be happy that she accepted and I would not overthink why she accepted in a weird style.

That's because for me the toughest part is to get her to go out with me in the first place.

I realize it's different in the reverse and you are probably used to a guy being more enthusiastic. Still, it's only the first date and it can go well.

Maybe he meant he had planned something with a friend or relative, so it was not easy to make time.

[Anonymous]

Could be you just blindsided him by asking him. I'm always amazed at the women who ask me out because they always seem to come out of left field. I don't like, dislike, or pity them. I just never really saw them.

As a woman that's never happened to you with a guy?

[Avicenna]

I wouldn't assume from that that it due to pity, more likely he was trying to process the idea of a date with a friend.

[Summeroflove]

Well. See how the date goes and be honest with one another. I wish you the best

[spartan55]

'Put in a lot of effort' what does he mean by that?

[Wild_princess]

Go on that date and find out... his behaviour and the way he treats you will tell you everything

[Rockstarrrrr]

“you’ve put in a lot of effort so sure I’ll go on a date with you”... He's already gloating lol... You seem kinda desperate...

[CallmeTheKnight]

Don’t go on the date if you ain’t sure.
He doesn’t like you like that

[Pohjolan]

Pity date or not, he is giving you a chance but it does seem that you have some seducing to do.

[TheMadLad]

He definitely likes you, enjoy.

[In_Trance]

Just go and have fun