Colleague is acting odd?

[Buggington93]

I’m quite close to one of my younger male colleagues. He’s 27 and I’m 29. We have always got on, have a lot in common and have a lot of banter.

He stares at me quite a lot and we do sort of flirt. We had a heart to heart chat a while a go and I told him about my body dysmorphia. I told him “I believe everyone thinks I’m overweight and unattractive” and he said “trust me, no one thinks that”

He was in a turbulent relationship and I’ve always been there for him and given him advice which he has been grateful for.

He came to my wedding on Saturday and he was quite hostile towards my husband by trying to belittle him. He made me go with him alone to open his present and some random couple thought he was my husband, to which he said, “I should be so lucky”.
He kept giving me loads of hugs and apparently when he did, he nuzzled his face into my hair.
I think we were all very drunk by this point.

Today at work, the first time I’ve seen him since then, he has barely spoken to me.

My husband seems to think he has feelings for me - what do you think? It’s just an odd situation

[BoopBoopBeep]

Do you have Asperger's Syndrome? I dated a woman once that had that. Her experience was very similar. She had difficulty reading and interpreting very simple social cues. There's no part of this that isn't clear that he likes you, BUT, I COULD see if he did all this, and your Asperger's prevented you from responding in a predictable fashion, that he lost interest in you because he didn't' get the reaction he wanted.

[Buggington93]

To my knowledge I don’t have Asperger’s syndrome. I think it’s because in the past, when I was sure someone liked me they didn’t so..

[BoopBoopBeep]

That could go either way. V (not her real name) was like that a lot too.

Your BD and possible AS may have made him feel like he's not going to be able to win, and you'd never buy that he's into you.

[Buggington93]

What’s BD?

[BoopBoopBeep]

Body dysmorphia

[Buggington93]

Thank you…. I think you are right. So you would say this guy does like me?

[BoopBoopBeep]

I'd say he did, "does" it's up in the air for the reasons I listed above (the "I COULD see if he did all this, and your Asperger's prevented you from responding in a predictable fashion, that he lost interest in you because he didn't' get the reaction he wanted." part). Balls really in your court now. How would you feel about inviting him for coffee?

[BoopBoopBeep]

I mean all of you, together, not a date... just to be clear

That way he sees that you're married and not "just saying it," your husband will feel less threatened if he knows about him, and you'll see how he responds to the offer, which would be telling.

[JaneDoe08]

It could be attration to you (the nuzzling especially points to that), it could also be jealousy that you have a successful relationship and have gotten married when his relationship failed

[strateguy632]

not love