'Accidentally saw the texts'.. my, ass... and then you rip him for lying? just no shame whatsoever.
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13 Reply
Asker
9 mo
Someone must have hurt you bad and I am sorry your experience was toxic. Its wild you chose to think someone is lying from a discussion forum. If i need to explain things to you then I will. I have his password for things like unlocking his doors and garage and other home amenities cause I am over a lot sometimes to help him with his 3 cats and just going over a lot in general. the day I saw it, his phone unlocked to their chat. “Rip him for lying?” I just said I was shocked. i haven't spoken to him about it, I told him I had an emergency with my family and left shortly. The way you’re assuming people want to fight with the person they are seeing is a little sad. I’m trying to get perspective here so I can have better conversation with him about it. I hope you find peace, not everyone is out to get you. Also he did lie, why should i have shame in standing up for doing the right thing? A good partner does not lie to their significant other.
Wow, an, awfully long and elaborate defense for nosing through his phone. Lol. And no honey, no one hurt me or anything of the sort. Thanks for your amateur hour psychiatrist analysis though. (Complete with an overused misapplied buzzword) So, what does having his garage password and feeding his cats have to do with this? So you agreed to give each other random access to each other's phones? Why would he just leave his phone laying around unlocked? (open to their chat no less) Especially since he was cheating! It doesn't add up nor make sense. What I think happened is you got increasingly suspicious and anxious about how he was acting with his phone and finally decided to take a look.
I don't know what you want me to say, i had access to his phone, the chat was opened to their conversations when i unlocked. You implied doubt, so i clarified. Yes, it was weird what he did, but I chose to trust his words because he explicitly said it was his realtor. I had no reason not to believe it. It couldve been personal texts and calls or private family matters or something. Now all i want to know is that if someone wants to cheat will always cheat. But it seems like you have an issue with me finding out that he lied and cheated, i have no idea why
I found out yesterday. We are just talking like normal. I told him I need to at my parents place for a couple of days to help them out with things so I won't be around for a few days. I haven’t told him what I saw.
I know you don't want to, but you really need to discuss what you saw with him ASAP. It will likely be a painful conversation, but putting it off will only make it worse. It's not going away. I don't know if you've decided what you are going to do, but be prepared to end it. Give him a chance to explain it on the unlikely chance it can be. This is important: try to keep your emotions in check and talk about it rationally. No guy responds well to a nuclear attack, no matter how justified it is. Honestly I don't see how he could explain it. From what you said he sounds straight up busted.
I predict he will try one of two tactics: flat out denial.."it was all talk, I was never going to ACTUALLY do it..." blah blah blah. OR "she came after me, I was upset about (something in your relationship) and it just got out of control" blah blah blah. Something like that.
Thank you for your advice, even though I felt betrayed and honestly insulted as well, what you said stuck with me. I spoke carefully and calmly with him. He ended up trying to lie to cover it up more as per my update. I figure now there's no point in continue a relationship without the basis of honesty. Thanks again.
You were right, he lied and denied and then when i revealed I already knew he said she was the one that kept coming on to him and he was not able to reject her advances. Either way, its done for me
Your post reminds me of something that I watched happened a few months ago. I was at a gas station getting fule and snacks before work. While I was paying at the register, i heard a crash behind me, followed by what sounded to me like a coaked up chimp screaching and babbling. I quickly turned around and found a 60 year old homeless man having an epileptic fit. He was crashing into the shelves and screaching and babbling something about the moon men stealing his toes. The funny thing about this story is that his mad flailing and screaching was more cognisant and well thought out than the statement you just made.
only reason from your discription would be, he missing sex from both of u. yes yes yes some men are and will need everydat, on good day twice
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Anonymous
(30-35)
9 mo
Are you two in a relationship?
1
3 Reply
Opinion Owner
9 mo
Well, if you’re not then you should probably ask what’s going on between you two. 7 months is a long time with no title and it sounds like he’s still dealing with his ex.
we have talked about being exclusive. If we were to see anyone else we would say it. He pretty much lied. He’s always wanted to be dating but I told him I couldnt do it with him still actively in his exes life
One thing I’ve learned is if they’ll lie about the small things, they’ll about the big ones too. Since you aren’t exclusive yet, he could’ve totally just been like ‘things are a bit confusing with my ex right now and I’m trying to figure it out’, in which case it would’ve been disappointing but at least he’d have given you the opportunity to decide if that was ok for you or not. By lying, he was not only selfish with his intentions, but robbed you of the opportunity to choose, and that just isn’t fair. Being a kind or generous person does not mean he’s a good partner, and if anything it shows he will use his personality to manipulate his way into women’s beds, and that’s so wrong. I’m sorry he has messed up your expectations and you wanted a future with this man, but it’d be better to wash your hands of the situation, and go into your next dating scenario with a whole different approach. I didn’t talk about kids, marriage, etc with my current boyfriend until we were actually in a relationship, because that’s when it matters most.
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'Accidentally saw the texts'.. my, ass... and then you rip him for lying? just no shame whatsoever.
Someone must have hurt you bad and I am sorry your experience was toxic. Its wild you chose to think someone is lying from a discussion forum. If i need to explain things to you then I will. I have his password for things like unlocking his doors and garage and other home amenities cause I am over a lot sometimes to help him with his 3 cats and just going over a lot in general. the day I saw it, his phone unlocked to their chat. “Rip him for lying?” I just said I was shocked. i haven't spoken to him about it, I told him I had an emergency with my family and left shortly. The way you’re assuming people want to fight with the person they are seeing is a little sad. I’m trying to get perspective here so I can have better conversation with him about it. I hope you find peace, not everyone is out to get you. Also he did lie, why should i have shame in standing up for doing the right thing? A good partner does not lie to their significant other.
Wow, an, awfully long and elaborate defense for nosing through his phone. Lol.
And no honey, no one hurt me or anything of the sort. Thanks for your amateur hour psychiatrist analysis though. (Complete with an overused misapplied buzzword)
So, what does having his garage password and feeding his cats have to do with this? So you agreed to give each other random access to each other's phones? Why would he just leave his phone laying around unlocked? (open to their chat no less) Especially since he was cheating! It doesn't add up nor make sense.
What I think happened is you got increasingly suspicious and anxious about how he was acting with his phone and finally decided to take a look.
I don't know what you want me to say, i had access to his phone, the chat was opened to their conversations when i unlocked. You implied doubt, so i clarified. Yes, it was weird what he did, but I chose to trust his words because he explicitly said it was his realtor. I had no reason not to believe it. It couldve been personal texts and calls or private family matters or something. Now all i want to know is that if someone wants to cheat will always cheat. But it seems like you have an issue with me finding out that he lied and cheated, i have no idea why
How long has it been since you found out? Has he tried to contact you?
I found out yesterday. We are just talking like normal. I told him I need to at my parents place for a couple of days to help them out with things so I won't be around for a few days. I haven’t told him what I saw.
I know you don't want to, but you really need to discuss what you saw with him ASAP. It will likely be a painful conversation, but putting it off will only make it worse. It's not going away.
I don't know if you've decided what you are going to do, but be prepared to end it. Give him a chance to explain it on the unlikely chance it can be. This is important: try to keep your emotions in check and talk about it rationally. No guy responds well to a nuclear attack, no matter how justified it is. Honestly I don't see how he could explain it. From what you said he sounds straight up busted.
I predict he will try one of two tactics: flat out denial.."it was all talk, I was never going to ACTUALLY do it..." blah blah blah. OR "she came after me, I was upset about (something in your relationship) and it just got out of control" blah blah blah.
Something like that.
Lol... who are you yapping at junior? Who are you her butler? Gtfoh... and take my trash out too.
Whatever you say Biff, now go play in traffic.
Thank you for your advice, even though I felt betrayed and honestly insulted as well, what you said stuck with me. I spoke carefully and calmly with him. He ended up trying to lie to cover it up more as per my update. I figure now there's no point in continue a relationship without the basis of honesty. Thanks again.
You were right, he lied and denied and then when i revealed I already knew he said she was the one that kept coming on to him and he was not able to reject her advances. Either way, its done for me
It's almost like I know how guys think...😂 😂 😂
He's a piece of shit. When I start a relationship any 'ex situation' is a big red 🚩 flag.
Sorry you went through this, I'm sure you will come out stronger on the other side.
people who cheat have a hight chance of cheating again. once you break the boundary it’s easy again
If they're afraid of losing their partner, they'll stop
Not all the time, But they can odviously Cheat again.
There is an old saying
"You can't polish a turd"
If they do it with insinuate with women so that would mean women always cheat
I would like to say that you are a pure heart person and u deserve better. Just move on...
You're only a girlfriend, not a wife. Get over yourself.
Cheating is an addiction both gender will cheat again
But I thought women like cheaters and get obsessed with them!!!
Your post reminds me of something that I watched happened a few months ago. I was at a gas station getting fule and snacks before work. While I was paying at the register, i heard a crash behind me, followed by what sounded to me like a coaked up chimp screaching and babbling. I quickly turned around and found a 60 year old homeless man having an epileptic fit. He was crashing into the shelves and screaching and babbling something about the moon men stealing his toes. The funny thing about this story is that his mad flailing and screaching was more cognisant and well thought out than the statement you just made.
Please don't have kids,
Mr. Brick
only reason from your discription would be, he missing sex from both of u. yes yes yes some men are and will need everydat, on good day twice
Are you two in a relationship?
Well, if you’re not then you should probably ask what’s going on between you two. 7 months is a long time with no title and it sounds like he’s still dealing with his ex.
we have talked about being exclusive. If we were to see anyone else we would say it. He pretty much lied. He’s always wanted to be dating but I told him I couldnt do it with him still actively in his exes life
One thing I’ve learned is if they’ll lie about the small things, they’ll about the big ones too. Since you aren’t exclusive yet, he could’ve totally just been like ‘things are a bit confusing with my ex right now and I’m trying to figure it out’, in which case it would’ve been disappointing but at least he’d have given you the opportunity to decide if that was ok for you or not. By lying, he was not only selfish with his intentions, but robbed you of the opportunity to choose, and that just isn’t fair. Being a kind or generous person does not mean he’s a good partner, and if anything it shows he will use his personality to manipulate his way into women’s beds, and that’s so wrong. I’m sorry he has messed up your expectations and you wanted a future with this man, but it’d be better to wash your hands of the situation, and go into your next dating scenario with a whole different approach. I didn’t talk about kids, marriage, etc with my current boyfriend until we were actually in a relationship, because that’s when it matters most.
He takes everything he can get.
Yes. Once a cheater... .
Yes once a cheater always
yes I think so
It depends on his options... but usually... yes
Men are love liars
Only losers cheat
I don't know, do women who cheat, always cheat?
Sorry hun. Men suck, don't we