I frequently have conversations with men that seem to be mutually stimulating to both of us. I then assume that I must have had an impact on the guy, whereby deepening our bond. But then the next time we meet, I realize that he has completely forgotten the whole conversation. So now I don't even bother trying to bond with men through conversation.
What other ways can I create a deep bond with a guy, if conversations don't seem to work?
You're jumping to overly hasty conclusions based on far too little data here.
One man forgetting a discussion is not an adequate data set to draw any sort of conclusion from. Two wouldn't be either. You'd need to achieve the same result consistently at least 5 times before it is fair to conclude that the approach doesn't work.
ANYWAY... statistical rigour aside, maybe you were just being boring (from his perspective) and he was trying to be polite. Maybe he would have remembered if you were going out of your way to make it memorable. And no, "interesting" is not the same thing as "memorable". Want to know the most memorable discussion I ever had with a random woman? Walking the streets of Camden loudly discussing what sort of weapons would be best for going on a killing spree with. It was exceedingly memorable, partly just because of the horrified stares we were getting from passers by. Plus the time I was discussing with a friend on the train whether it would be plausible to get away with murdering someone if you used a weapon made entirely of ice and melted it when finished, and a nearby lady who claimed to be a forensics professional just got pissed off and started chastising us on how that would never work out...
I suppose the take-home point is that memorable conversations involve murder... but 2 is not an adequate data-set, so I can't be sure.
If the guy isn't invested enough to bother remembering conversations you've had he's not worth your time, he's not interested in you as a person... he doesn't respect you.
Your method isn't the issue, it's the guys you're targeting.
Well, you can look at this two ways. One, he was so mesmerized by you (your personality and appearance) that he couldn't concentrate on what you were talking about and pretended to agree with you, add some tidbits, and so on. Or, he did listen-- but has a bad memory or couldn't really focus because he was thinking of something else (bad work day, problem at home, etc) and to be polite he just listened.
Tip: I believe that when a man is interested in you, he will remember every detail or most details about you (providing you both speak the same language).
Try not to count on conversation alone to bond with someone, is my advice. Going to places and tying new things, new foods, and having different experiences with one another may be more bonding. Also: do you you listen yourself as well and respond to their questions, or do you only talk about you?
I learned to think of what I'm going to say to him, cut the word usage in half, and then cut what's left in half again. 😂
Not that he can't comprehend what I'm saying, but guys tend to automatically tune out the unnecessary information.
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Nope. The only thing lower on the love language scale for men than words of affirmation is receiving gifts. Receiving gifts is like a 0 out of 10 and words of affirmation are like a 1 out of 10. You'll never gain a guys love by sweet talking him or bribing hi. You actually have to show up and spend quality time with him time after time after time... Your actions are what matter. So the more genuine acts of service you do over time the more you build up trust, respect, and loyalty... You have to legitimately be affectionate and sexual. Everything about winning a man over is real and it takes work, you can't bullshit your way in or pay them off. There is nothing superficial about it. You have to put in the time and work and you have to mean it...
Well I listen to everything a woman says and donāt forget so it usually surprises them later when I can recall everything we talked about. As far as falling in love faster that just depends on actions not words, itās how you treat a guy that he wonāt forget ever
I have messed up by forgetting conversations. I personally would appreciate it if this wasn't held against me. Why can't we have the same conversation again. Maybe it will come back to me but at the very least it's still a bonding experience even if it's the same conversation happening again. Me forgetting the conversation does not mean I'm not interested.
The conversation is probably the best start, but as you probably know by know, the talk just goes in one ear and out the other, with most men.
The best sex and 'loving' I ever had was with a younger girl (27) when I was 35, and we KNEW each other and had talked for HOURS.. Sad to say she was married and I had no chance to stay with her... Talk is the only way you know someone... REALLY
the kind of men who would find this special are not at the top of the list in attractiveness otherwise. it is a sensitivity trait that is hardwired with weakness in sexual selection, at no oneās personal fault. for the type of man you describe, you would have to do whatever he wanted to do probably
I very much remember mutually stimulating conversations. That's really strange to me that they don't.
What conversation?
https://www.youtube.com/embed/7iYpboTjtoQYou're giving us way too much credit. lol
u go ahead and test me... lol
I still remember the first, very casual conversation we had here at this forum and maybe over a year ago, lol
Well men are a bit unpredictable so they might be blockheads that even of they remembered it wouldnāt have much significance for them or they could feel nostalgic and warm ul around that woman so it can go either way!!
I would've figured forming a deep bond through discussions is the primary way to fall in love. If a person keeps me wanting to come back, it makes the relationship and life more interesting.
Here's the thing. If a man really likes a woman, he will remember conversations with her.
🤔 considering I don't even know what I ate for breakfast yesterday I don't think it matters
conversations works, those men you talked to are just bad apples
Thatās probably true. Although I expect more men arenāt that engaged in thoughtful conversation.
No. Because guys are taught by women that the less you say to her the less she has to judge you on. And of course there is the ever present friend zone.
Possible. I fell in love with my girlfriend at first sight.
I donāt think so. I personally donāt consider that thing for love.
Why would you think they don't remember the conversation?
Were you drunk when having the conversation, was he?
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